https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9IKFTEjq5Q

. . . even now when (he tried) to remember . . . the darkness does not lift but becomes yet heavier as (he thought) how little we can hold in mind, how everything is constantly lapsing into oblivion with every extinguished life, how the world is, as it were, draining itself, in that history of countless places and objects which themselves have no power of memory is never heard, never described or passed on. (WG Sebald  Austerlitz, pg14)

. . . when he tried to remember

                          . . . no power of memory

he could remember . . . deeper than most    he was horrified at the thought of no power of memory

                                                                                then he paused

he thought maybe their memory wasnt as we know it or could imagine

a hammer a knife a hand axe  used to kill  might rememberare stained   despite evidence washed off of it

they move inside their confines to make themselves more readily at hand  and experienced freed of inhibition they strike a chord in their handler  soothe them    very  subtly  instruct  them  to  quench  their  simmering  blind  lust

STRIKE

Excalibur

weapons(and places) gain power  theyre remembered

                                              they remember How and exert themselvesthey tempt . . . seduce

. . . are Experienced

                 even if they cant recall

Experience is tangible  pliable

Xperience begs Memory to replace or ease memory

the Stain deepens

the ball peen hammers head and handle purples the butcher knifes blade glintshoned keen the war hatchets edge grows more pitted  hewing pits it

                                                                                                                    the Stains deepen

memory  or whatever you want to call it   persists

1612,  Thursday,  27  7. 17

1004,  Friday,  28  7. 17

Dale Cooper and the Dictaphones  L’escolier serpent eolipile 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uveab25fNUM

Gawddamn he muttered  he was irritated anywaythe MENS Room hadnt a urinalthe only thing that ever made a restroom a MENS room was a urinal  no urinal  no need for a sign on a doorjust let it be a bathroomUNISEXed if necessary  he grew up in a household of 13  Keep it simple stupid

                                                   but his irritation was piqued by the lout on the other side of the locked doorknockin awayHeying as if the door being locked wasnt explanation enough

HEY I gotta use the bathroom 

over his right shoulder he barked Use the WOMENS Room

he might have suggested Keep on going down the hall out the rear exit entrance take a leak in the parking lot  but then who was he to assume the creep had to take a piss  he might be one of those clowns who using a public bathroom scribbled on the wall with his shit or ate sunflower seeds while sitting on the pot spitting hulls onto the floor 

the sign at the bars door read YOU MUST BE 21 TO ENTER  but that doesnt allude to being an adultwhich he called adolt  a lot 21 year-olds an older tragically males werent adultsnot in the sense he aligned with adulthood  ADOLTS

the intelligent retort from the hall was Hellno! You use it!

Sharp as a tack this inbred he thought to himself  then Oh please be there when I open the door 

he took his time and leisure

in the moments prior to entering the MENS Room the WOMENS Room door he walked past was wide open

I aint using no ladies room!

he thought Whats your leverage asshole

Only girls use the ladiesroom!

Not true he thought to himself  he used if necessary  a bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom a bush is a bush is a bush  public indecency  really   pissing yourself or crapping in your pants is indecent

if he had his druthers every public toilet in every facility would be marked WOMENS Room every drinking fountain FOR COLOREDS ONLY all seats on a bus would be at the back of the bus leather straps hung or metal railings riveted to the ceiling in the forward open expanse  an OVERDOSE of their own medicine

Comeon manI gotta go! in that moment he wished he was a woman he imagined exiting the MENS Room straightening out his skirt muttering Such a rude man 

shaking his cock he did not restrain his laughter

Aint funny!

he flushed the toilet unlockedopened the door and stepped to the sink to wash his hands confident the yahoo wasnt one who washed his hands after using the bathroom no matter his business

Whaddaya doin asshole?

apparently a locked door and washing his hand werent sufficient evidence of what he was doing

he didnt say a word

I GOTTA USE THE TOILET!!

apparently shy too

he snatched a couple of paper towels from the dispenser and drying his hands he turned to him 

Yup  somewhere along the line mother father were sister brotherhed bet she didnt seduce him  So troubled he said as he finger-rolled the wadded paper towels into the gray metal waste basket beside the door

the lout stepped foot to foot side to side rapidly YOU NEED TO GO!!  QUEER!!

he went 

How did Einstein miss that

Queer

     he threw a quick left hook soft to his bellybut hard enough  the crotch of his pants wetted as if he had a water balloon in them

Aint queer boy an I didnt wet myself    Shouldve used the WOMENS Room

and on the louts face 

               thats what mortification looks like

1823,  Saturday,  22  7. 17

1156,  Thursday,  27  7. 17