violence is, essentially – he heard this attributed to Ray Bradbury in what he felt was an unlikely conversation between Marshall McLuhan and Norman Mailer – violence is, essentially, the form of the quest for identity

he could be forgiven his ignorance

it was broadcast on Canadian television in '68 a programme called The Summer Way

he didnt see anything from Canada not with the Democratic National Convention happening in his city and all its components searching for their identity  venal or justified

if violence can sort out ones identity

                         he assumed fear or its subtle sister-brother confrontation could inhibit ones identity  the fear that ones violence would be subsumed or couldnt possibly withstand the others 

which if not ridiculous was frustrating 

it is inevitable that ones violence is bettered by anothers and if not someone then something

you can only hope that in the long run youll win one time more than you lost  if a defeat hasnt killed you

if one withdraws  fears  remains uncontested  their true identity is not only diminished or sullied but verges on nonexistent a kind of person who insist they stand against this or stand against thatResolute!  but refuse to stand for anything

their fear is a cudgel they drag behind them can feel in their grasp are assured by its presence  but they never use it

he was too scarred to be scared

             

1313,  Thursday,  5  1. 17

0824,  Friday,  6  1. 17

The Summer Way  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuPwipHzRzc

 

she texted  Ugh.

he texted back  Work ugh or Ugh ugh

she texted  Both ughs.

her periods amused him she rarely bothered with punctuation while texting  it was informal not expository(she laughed whenever he said expositoryWho says expositoryI doYou doAnd they laughed together)

he texted  .

she texted  .  You get me baby

they were rarely in want of subtlety

someone awkward could supposesuppose an idiot intimacy provided subtlety to couples and partners-in-crime  lovers had nuance down patheld by the throat  they amused and tickled themselves with copious inside-jokes that would seem inane to an outsider  not to be wasted on commoners  jokes that spiced-up what otherwise would be mundane interactions

he got her

she got him

and when he texted her that at that very moment he was standing on their front porch protected from the rain and imagined blue-sailed translucent jellyfish falling with itTho not really  parachuting down in-between the raindrops to the ground and landing on their tentacles they ran away helter-skelter like tall stiff-legged spiders

she texted  Oh please try and catch one for me

he dashed off the porch into the rain to do exactly that

Sorry love he texted  Theyre faster than I thought

Thank you for trying  They must have been  Youre no lummox

the last time he was a lummox was when she asked him for his telephone number and he obliged and as he walked off smiling she asked him if hed like hers

1334,  Twosday,  10  1. 17