Watch  Are you seeing this?

Hes taking ice in his water rocks in his drink

You ever see anything like itIve never seen anything like itNot in regards to him

Hes usually staid stoic unremarkably noncontroversially controversial

Ice is antithetical to who he is

His ethic his morose dull dyed-in-the-wool face-in-the-mirror Mirror mirror on the wall Whaddafucks up widdat?

when he finally got up from his stool at the bar he abruptly saluted his reflection in the mirror behind the bottle

a quick touch of his finger to his eyebrow

unsteady

he took a somber deep breath

grounded himself

took on the weight the air fed him

he staggered a couple more steps

stopped

sucked up a few more heavy breaths

better   he seemed

walking   the stagger staggered out of him

he crossed the naked stained wood floor

crossed the bluelit bar and exited

I saw him scribble at a napkin with a cheap ballpoint pen  when he stood he stuck it in the back pocket of his worn jeans   they were frayed at his thighs

the napkin remained

its corner tucked under the emptied iced tumbler 

that was unlike him

he never left anything he wrote

not that I ever saw

I crossed the floor to where he sat

he should have been a tagger

what did it read

after awhile my eyes grew accustom to the scratch
Jesus

I am the left hand of God(he was lefthanded  the napkin was to the left of his emptied drink) He uses me to wipe his ass

I knew certain cultures  such as the Japanese  would have put him to death as a child when his prominent hand was realised

theyre righthanded   wiped their asses with the fingers of their left

lefthanded was deemed Evil
                                               sacrilegious   unclean   

the ice in the tumbler shifted clinked as it melted

he left a postscript What is, is wrong.

so much for staid

he rarely ever used punctuation

huh

I am the left hand of GodHe uses me to wipe his ass

I went outside into the embrace of the cold night air

he was nowhere to be seen

in the fresh fallen snow I saw his sharp footsteps in relief

no staggering

they strode to the curb where he must have paused and lit a cigarette 

 

a burnt wood match  dropped  had melted the flakes surrounding it

his footprints went left

there were several 

they stopped

as if he disappeared

1325,  Sunday  later a Super Moon and an eclipse,  27  9. 15

Cmon  You know the drill  he said 

vacuously she looked up into his face as only a child could(or the poker-face Easter Island moai)

to words that held no content  context  or meaning

 

words
            nothing more than sounds

as if he were a barking dog

a cat meowing

singing a birds song

very much  he considered  like the music he was listening to when her mother stopped her off for a couple hours while she ran some errands at breakneck speed to be back in time to grab her up to make an early afternoon pediatricians appointment

the music and songs of Mali singers  Nigerian  Brazilian   Sufi and Urdu poetry

for all he knew these performers may have been singing to him
                                                                                                        Cmon  You know the drill 

                    

and while he couldnt share or possess the childs vacuousness  their words were no more than another layer atop or woven between the music slipping into his ears  as were the odd sounds of the unique instruments their cultures fashioned and they had perfected and tantalisingly performed

  

Music

    

Music

    

Music

           held up in the thin cool air circulating throughout the livingroom on clothespins of inspiration passion and conviction

the child tilted her head to one side

she sat moving her body ever so slightly to the music and songs beat

the drill he referred to was her coming inside the house

                                                                  

theyd pet the kitties
 

the lazy bums hadnt gotten up yet out his bed and laid curled together at its foot warmed in sunlight

he told her he was always surprised he didnt boot them to the floor in the middle of the night  he was a restless sleeper

      

then they would play puzzles hed read to her and a little later theyd share a treat(Dont tell your mother  he warned smiling  --  but he let her keep her cute little moustache to betray them as she was his to spoil on these occasions) of cold Whole milk(children needed fat for their brains to develop well) and two cookies apiece

no matter how small he made them they always seemed huge in her hands

one in each hand

then shed feign confusion or that she was confounded how she was going to have a sip of her milk

she must have thought she worked him with her baby blues

Very good  he said(smiling inwardly)  and held a plastic colored cup to her lips so she could take a sip as he cautioned  Small sip honey a small sip  I dont want you to choke or gag  while her hips in her chair were moving to the music  her backbone swaying  rubbery   her small shoulders rotating forwards and backwards

hed catch himself imitating her 

 

or she was imitating him

he danced in his chair too

to the music and songs which communicated themselves without words he understood

1742,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  9. 15

Glossary(reminiscent of epiglottis  --  and as rarely peered at) of New Deal “Initialised(partial  --  though not selected impartially)” Agencies:

CCC  Civilian Conservation Corps

FAD  Federal Art Project

FWP  Federal Writers Project

NYA  National Youth Administration

RFC  Reconstruction Finance Corporation

TVA  Tennessee Valley Authority

WPA  Works Progress Administration

“Initialised” has toxically given way to our everyday acronyms  our acrimonious acronyms

it seemed to him initialise lent itself rather to the beginning of things either a robust action or that which "initially" piqued thought   not relegated to the dull misery and euphemystic alchemies of Acronenames

Acrimonious Acronyms or Code for the Knowing and Cypher to the Unknowing

it was so much litter  like paper coffee cups and waxpapered soda cups aluminum cans starkwhite Styrofoam containers stained and still-containing food remnants ants and bluebottle flies 

         

acronyms are shorthand and will never rival longhand

                                                                                       but that wasnt the idea

brevity  soundbites  bumperstickers  sunny glossy advertisements blinding ones eyes to their flipsides

the scales are weighted    the Up-side exceeds its Down-side and accords those who alwaysalways realise the immediate benefit of the transactions

I am Oz The Great and Powerful(Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain)  I am Oz The Great and Powerful

 

he might suppose they told themselves that incessantly   or were incessantly told they were

Well shit!

                he supposed human nature would have it that individuals would believe what was said  --  by the Press  --  about them

and if youre convinced youre beneficent anything you did  --  virtually   everything  --  you would align yourself to your beneficence 

                       even if it wasnt

although it had to be beneficent if you did it

they wouldnt have truth-telling mirrors hung on walls or affixed to their medicine cabinet where they could consult them while they did up their faces or shaved 

or wore amulets strung across their throat or had spells pronounced to vouchsafe their every intention

Samuel Johnson said the road to hell is paved with good intentions

Gosh!

          he tried to imagine if nothing invited unintended consequences  regardless what others may have suggested  or literally warned  but they would have been casually disregarded because one is required to be steadfast and assured their beneficence was infallible

he wanted to be infallible

what would that be like

impossible

someone should have uttered quietly into their ears  Your beneficence is fiction utterly impossible    Oz is fiction

but they wouldnt have heard

theyre too busy still trying to dismantle all of the New Deal

early afternoon,  Friday,  25  9. 15

1939,  Friday.  25  9. 15