23.8.15



He abruptly lifted his nose up out of his book
                                                                                  he remembered grammar school recesses

those  particularly  when he fell lax  which was so unlike him  lazy  and took his eye off the clocks sweeping second-hand  failing to anticipate the bell  then found himself buried many many steps behind the bustle and crush of children who busted out into the fresh blue air to play  to not have to listen to their teachers instructions for ten cool clear minutes

he wasnt a bad student  he certainly wasnt an exceptional student

he had his share of bright moments

                                                                                  

he took his nose out of his book to walk a bit and not read

gently offering himself a respite  a reprieve    a break to let those things happening him to sound in his skull
and be absorbed


not that he needed to


but rather to help restore the translucent bubble shimmering around him and reaffirm in his consciousness where
he exactly was and what in his vicinity was static or fluid  or might feel emboldened to enter his sphere

reacquainting himself to that which was without   what he might consider allowing in

amusing himself   if there were breach how hed combat it expel the unwanted then close and seal it airtight again

   
he cast his eyes about for any taxing or unfortunate juju which would be as obvious to him as a gold tooth in a black mans mouth

he had spent too much time in this world of his

he was practised and ready



when others watched him walking and reading 
they believed what they witnessed was the top of his head 
they didnt imagine the articulating structure hidden beneath
a dome scanning three-hundred–and-sixty degrees and from horizon to the blue  to the deepening-violet altitude 

 
a keen agile sonar
                                                                                                       
its unexpected  underappreciated reach



still
       often when he took the book away from his face the immediacy around him was shocking
he would have preferred not to see what he saw 
                                                                               angrily questioning himself
Why didnt you keep your head down a single moment longer

though  perhaps the Force forced his hand and betrayed him to witness what he saw

                                                                                                                                                    Oh Witness!
he witnessed the obscene waddle of a pale woman in hot pursuit of her cunt                 
her cunt like an aggressive seeing-eye dog relentlessly dragging her behind it  
its monocle  eye-patch  a pair of blue denim short shorts  unable to diminish her cunts intent upon the world

it waddled dead-eye in his direction

tugging at her to follow 
while she lurched stumbled and took missteps trying to keep up with it

why she gave it head was beyond him


lessons proved all he could do was wait for that opportune  inevitable   moment
when it blinked
and unblinking slightly disoriented he could throw it a head fake  shake something bright in his hand as a distraction like a red cape in the face of a lunging bull  and sidestep it  the horn of her hip passing just wide of him
and her momentum too much to heel or veer

before it could recover
                                      he buried his head in his book
and from above watched it lunge left and right  infuriated that it was slipped  but unable to recognise him behind his books hardcover  its leaves of dense text  tracts   and spells

frantically not to go it alone or submit to its failure   it gored an unsuspecting Mickey Mouse standing behind him

            


1343,  Friday,  14  8. 15
2351,  Saturday,  15 8. 15

22.8.15

Something



Something occurred to her
                                           he could see it in her eyes

but she didnt say



so he waited patiently for its infection to become pronounced 
 
its swelling red and distended




and when she still didnt say

he asked



her eyes swelled with tears

she bit her tongue



                                                          then

she said as if her breath was evil
It occurred to me



Yes 
 



It has occurred to me
                                    a frightened policemans handgun

is now the noose people are lynched by in broad daylight
without snarling dogs or forsaken dark gatherings or cowardly drunken screamed encouragement



he took her in his arms  held her  and tried to absorb her trembling the violence that upended her and stole away
her legs so she couldnt run
                                                  and stomped her heart



Im sorry love
 
The more things change the more they stay the same
Its not appealing  or very compassionate

I am sorry



it wasnt his failure



Horror
              has no consolation




1954,  Friday,  14  8. 15  

21.8.15



The old man had a way about him that made its way around him tying him in knots turning him round and round in circles making him desperately dizzy as he watched dozens of hummingbirds dart and flock to the old mans liver-spotted hands as he lifted their feeders into place off hooks off posts supporting a tall fence built to hide him away from the many eyes that didnt want to see him the fewer who did as he   and the while among the noise of their buzzing wings and chirps the old man talked to them imploring them comically to be sure to gobble at the sugarwater and not prick his onion paper flesh

You little vampires     
                                   And you the worst  he said to an odd copper-colored one
that hovered before his face  the two of them  eye-to-eye                                         Yes you  my beautiful soul
Quit eyeballing me  Take your feed like your brothers and sisters  Please try and be content

Vampires  Brothers and Sisters  Souls          did the old man really believe

or did he just talk that way because he rarely had conversation with people and this talking kept his tongue oiled his sanity shivering like silver water over broken rocks in a weeded bottom creek he talked to the green plants and trees in his yard to the squirrels scratching the earth for nuts or foodstuff they thought they buried there then parked their frustrations and reared up on their haunches their tails whipping agitated theyd emit a stream a screed of invectives that would smash and shame the sensibilities of hiphop artists and rappers he talked to the occasional drifting toms and queens that roamed unclaimed feral and to the green darting dragonflies and the still  the deadly  preying mantises
 
dont dare try and tell the old man they were called praying mantises
For what  hed snap  for heaven
Go elsewhere and hawk that shit Only infidels welcome here Animals and insects or things rooted in the earth 
In what is real

the old man was an old man  he had to appreciate his perspective  he might never live to be as old as the old man

Yes you  my beautiful soul


the old man confided  once  in him  Ssshh  Tell no one  Inside the birds rests the anxious souls of human beings who have died They didnt get what maybe they should have when they were alive through no fault of their own in the wrong place at the wrong time unknown children murdered in unknown places ethnic cleansing the wrong sex have you ever heard of such crap


So I feed them sweet fresh water  I hope I help them  I tell them they are beautiful and I am grateful for their presence
I enjoy their grace their iridescence   and who knows  maybe in this withered old body they can see the boy inside





occurred to me in the morning,  Day-between-Two-Ts, 12  8. 15