Original:
I told my wife to remind me I forgot and she forgot to remind me I wish she hadnt
Its her fault Im late
when you think youve heard all
the lousy excuses in circulation you come across a beaut like this
its like walking crisply on a sidewalk and stepping in fresh dogshit
dogs dont know any better though youd think a dogwalker would
he almost came out of his chair tempted to walk around the partition in this
cheap modular annex a financial and
counseling office for the extension campus of a junior college
but he stopped himself half squatting half standing
NO thatd be too easy
NO he recognised in his darkly-turning-marble that
he wanted to construct that Frankenstein monster in his head of miserable body
parts before he actually went around the wall to lay eyes on the Real
McCoy
there couldnt be too many left or ferociously they might be being slapped together by
ignorants having sex jimmied together with cum and outlegging any tepid
estimation he harebrained might make
the species was degenerating intellectually
faster than it possibly or logically could rise
a stark fact:
he was sitting in a junior
colleges office a junior college overhearing a students remarks to their
counselor
Jesus Christ
he remembered as a kid at a
family gathering agonizing before a table covered with a white linen and
platters of coldcuts what meat to put on his sandwich what bread to use
what condiments
his uncle came up behind him crouched down
and asked him Whats up Moose So
many choices Hell with choices
what do you like I like so much Alright thats an excellent starting point
he stood up grabbed a paper
plate Bread I like rye but wheat too One of each then Mustard butter mayo No thank you
Dry then Meat I really like em
all Then a slice of each the sandwich was growing to epic proportions Moose you like veggies Yeah please onion lettuce tomato peppers Theres salt and pepper Pepper please
he ground fresh pepper on it Any
cheese I like Swiss and Muenster You got it Anything else Could I have chips and pickles and olives on
the side You betcha Say this is a big
sandwich Youre sure youre gonna eat it all
Yes I think youll need a plate
from the kitchen You wont break it Youll take care of it Its your Grandmothers
and shell be hawkeyeing you sitting in the backyard eating off one of her
dinner plates You got that
I do Ill take
real good care of it I know you will
Moose Youre that kinda kid Otherwise I wouldnt have built this beautiful
sandwich for you Its really big Uncle
Fritz Thank you so much You can thank me
by eating it all and getting that plate back into your Grandmothers kitchen in
one piece Thatll be thanks enough
Why did you make him that
sandwich and then put it on my good dinner plate Fritz
Because Maw that kid
does what he says
Uncle Fritz what do you call this
kind of a sandwich At Rustys the tavern
down on the corner we call it a smorgasbord sandwich Rusty puts out a spread
and everything there can be had but between two slices of bread He gives you a
free sandwich for drinking at his place So we make these big sandwiches It
kills him Its hilarious Maybe one day well have a beer and a free smorgasbord
sandwich there together huh Id really
like that Me too Moose me too
he didnt have that sandwich with
his Uncle Fritz but he had that memory
he didnt need anyone to remind
him about anything if it was important
important
things youre obligated to do
important things
make life go forward
as he built the Frankenstein
monster in his head he wrestled with the unenviable fact that he might not have
been taught any better that maybe his
parents ought to have named him Sex because he was a byproduct of sex and giving
him life they didnt feel obligated to him beyond
that and maybe thats what they
learned passed down from their parents and maybe that
learning curve was in
decline even before them
lots maybes
ITS ALIVE!
Frankenstein was fashioned with its
voice droning over its revegetation and
one remark overheard after another after another made him not look real hard
for enviable body parts
despite his
struggling empathy to think better of him
there was more dogshit on the
sidewalk than he thought any one dog could possibly shit
Yes It was alive but this little exercise he looped through his
head tamed any thought that he really wanted to lay eyes on the fleshandblood
man
his words were plenty
hed recite them word for word
to anyone who cared to listen and
hed let them build their own Frankenstein monsters or tender what they believed
was the long game the overarching course
for the species to redeem itself
Yes it can be done one person at a time
but its going to have to want to
and it cant be based on money to
be made
no matter what the Experts say
this was something else hed recite to
anyone who cared to listen:
“Past events will always look less random than they were .
. . listen(ing) to someone’s discussion of his own past (I realise) that much
of what he was saying was just backfit explanations concocted ex post by his
deluded mind.” *
Xperts
a little memory can go a long way
1130-ish Wednesday
10 12. 14
Fooled By
Randomness, Nassim Nicholas Taleb *
