Coopers Leatherstocking Saga had leaned against the oak baseboard

beside a sperm whale vertebra and three bowhead ribs

a slender bony disc had wanted  begged to mark the pages when he stopped reading

but he apologised

and asked its understanding

                                                 it was too large   and would mutilate the books spine

it looked around at the tarnished ivorycoloured bones

but held its tongue

he did  afterall  fondle and hold him  laid him in his lap when he read under the sunlight

coming through the Venetian blinds at his back and sipped spirits from a lone crystal 

tumbler salvaged from a cheap secondhand store

                                                                                    assuming the discs forgiveness

he let an appropriate time pass  and then slipped a business card from his psychologist

between its pages to hold his place

the appointment date on the card was four years old    the card was yellowing

she purchased a cheap card stock

but what would she know

she was a psychologist not a psychiatrist

which wasnt to say a psychiatrist would know any better

they could just better afford it

he couldnt afford a psychiatrist even if he wanted one

bones listened better

the room bore an inkling of being an ossuary

a bit of a seminary

it smelled sacred

though that may have been tinctured by his evening habit of burning candles incenses and

bright pipe tobacco

                                or the scores and scores of old volumes scattered and stacked 

hiding the wood floor the coloured woven rugs and table tops

she called it a museum

she was traveling

he was waiting

without waiting she said

she knew him better than he cared to admit

so he didnt

when she telephoned she would ask about his books and the bones

she asked about the disc

before she left on this trip

she sat on his lap under the window and kissed him goodbye

and rising

                  he patted his thighs and asked her how he was going to keep his lap warm

in her absence

she leaned over him

her hands on the upholstered chair arms

and kissed him deeply

then she picked up the whale disc off the floor  gently kissed it  and laid it in his lap

--   Until I return this is my space saver

--   Consider your space saved

he didnt tell her that he also laid it on her pillow beside his in bed when he slept 

she hadnt seen the shy lipstick imprint she left on it

or maybe she had

2308,  Twosday,  25  11. 14

yes

the sun had set

the trees and Morros

the buildings hills and rooflines were silhouettes

                                                                               the New Moon  a brilliant silver cuticle

arched over the charcoal disc of the remaining moon a shaggy palm shines pale ochre

and green against encroaching night

lit from within

Age possesses its own light

  

and this palm had sprouted and been there before the Chinese camped to work at the

White Mans railroad and commerce 

                                                            it was there when Indians passed to trade their

fish seashells and pottery with other tribes and with the religious Spanish and Mexicans

inside its hoary head  barely ever raked or moved by wind

those things it witnessed  and remembers   and perhaps wants to say

is mute

its thatched corrugated trunk is laced by head lights  dappled by street lamps

                                                                 

no one approaches it

 

it hasnt   and cant find listeners

the listeners died long ago

the palm abides Time

it shouldnt be long before a frond falls    attempts murder     and its cut down

as murderers should be

and Memory is

1403,  Twosday,  25  11. 14     

--   Youre forever off on some kind of esoteric bent  so fucking mysterious

--   Off on an esoteric bent 

because I happen to read

--   Read if you want  Im not saying not to  but cant you read what everyone else is 

reading

--   Alright

What is everyone else reading

--   I dont know  Fantasy  Fiction  Selfhelp books

--   Pop culture

--   Do you realize you almost sneered when you mention Pop culture

--   Im not surprised  I do feel something slither inside me  so it would probably show on

my face

You know firsthand Im not one for holding out on exactly how I feel or think or believe

something needs to be immediately refuted

--   You  Not you

--   Do you realise you almost sneered when youre being facetious

they laughed together

--   Really  Youre tough to be a friend to  Everything with you seems a fight

Youre so belligerent

--   Well   maybe we need a good healthy dose of belligerence to try an offset this 

mounting indifference I feel

this    Im sorry to say      sincere

yes  sincere is the word

sincere apathy that is affecting nearly everyone I meet

 

or talk with

--   You dont talk

You lecture

--   Lecture

So you thought my remarks a moment ago were the beginning of a lecture

--

--   Youre being very thoughtful  arent you

--   No

Nothing I would say now is different than what I have said in the past  or just a moment ago

Lecture

What you impart  share  comes off as highbrow

Half the time I feel insulted by what you share with me  You just cant talk about common stuff  things  sports

Youre  querulous  most of the time

--   I didnt know you knew querulous

--   I didnt  Someone else I was talking with about you mentioned it

--   Because I lack  Pop

--   You dont lack Pop you simply havent any in you  So fucking serious

Not all the time

A lot of the time though

--   Im belligerent  I lecture  Im highbrow  And querulous

I am

According to your perception  your unnamed friends perception

But is that because what I bring to you to share you  and they  are unfamiliar with

and pray tell  ignorant of

Do you think I share with you the things I do to suggest youre ignorant

--   Partly  yes

--   And the other part

--   The other part

--   You said Partly  yes

Whats the other part piece  or pieces  of the pie I am when I share with you what I think are interesting to know that Ive had the fortune or luck to find

                                                                                             Because  if you think about it

Im always coming down on the side of why I hadnt learned them earlier or why hadnt

our teachers taught them to us when we were in school

--   School

--   Yes  school

 

But then Ive answered my own question  Revisiting my disgust of curriculum

our reflex educations

Lecturing  huh

So what about the other part or pieces aside from inferring you  and unnamed  are ignorant

--   Oh yes

You did ask

Do you see why you are so confusing  and maddening

--   And belligerent  because I ask questions

Do you really have no questions that pique you  or dont marvel at the things you havent learned earlier  and now theyre  what  nearly epiphanies

--   Epiphanies

--   Christ yah epiphanies  Like someone striking a match in a blacked out room

--   Perhaps Im not so prone to marvel

--   Thats unfortunate  I think were surrounded by the marvelous

--   Lucky you

--   Unlucky you

So   partly yes I accuse you of ignorance

The other part or parts

--   Well

you havent many friends

do you

And what friends you do have you put to task

--   Task  Listening to esoteric finds I share with you to make you feel ignorant

Itd be nice if my friends would share things with me that I didnt know

That theyd be illuminating

--   You dont want to be illuminated  You dont like Pop  Its mundane to you as your esoteric is mundane to us   me  

Excuse me   I can only speak for me  excuse me

hed shared Gibsons Neuromancer  Dicks A Man in a High Castle

now Lerois Mutants

his point  what he derived from Sir Thomas Browns passage in Mutants  was

that what was true in 1642 remained true to-day

his statement regarding Monstrosity

his sense that they were works of nature

a strong call for tolerance in an intolerant age

                                                                           "(There is) no deformity but in Monstrosity,

wherein notwithstanding, there is a kind of Beauty. Nature so ingeniously contriving the

irregular parts, as they become sometimes more remarkable than the principal Fabrick.”

certainly nothing to get worked into a lather over

or feel accused

or ignorant

rather

I thought this was beautiful and you might want to see it  or this tastes wonderful   

would you like to try some

no offence implied

1424,  Monday,  24  11. 14