late November

that time of the year
when assassins bullets brayed the Opening of Hunting Season on an American 
president

                            and this new country he found himself in  and apart of

wasnt the country of his youth

                                                                                 

                                                         it seemed he was never to know what its

late November was supposed to look like

brown and ravaged as it was

though almost all the time he knew it  it was coloured brown   and arid

      

                                                                                    and if it werent for him turning

the pages of his girlie calendar   as leaves didnt fall   or the unrelenting propaganda 

termed infotainment  spilling and waxing from the gyms flatscreen tvs

itd never budge

                                                                                                                                  

like a corpse never rotting

NO

he wasnt amicable                                                                                                                                       

but this new country tried its level best to appear to be

the very least he could offer

or counter  

                   was How do you feel about tanned mannequins    Or cold gray lava lamps

How do you feel about a woman who smiles at you and lets you buy her a round of 

drinks  

and another and another

and hasnt the slightest intention of fucking you

                                                                                                                                   

YES

this country was polite

theyd call her a tease

the country he grew up in  you didnt have to be polite if circumstances didnt warrant it

just honest

theyd call her a cunt

                                  That about cobbled up how he felt of this brown stagnant cuntry

a long running middle road

uncommitted

plastic

a lifesucking  ______

NO

someone elses job

he was done filling in blanks

1824,  Saturday,  2  8. 14

Theres that affectation were all  seemingly  duty bound to perform

akin

to genuflecting

(nope it aint shorthand for anything truly genuine)

or bowing
           like monkeys mimicking us mimicking them a dog fetching a ball no matter how far it was thrown
or a shinywet black seal honking a redbulbed horn with its mouth 

the better we are at that affectation

the better actors we are(when the truth of the matter might be were not acting)
and the more willing we are to submit ourselves
unquestioningly
to perform whatever it is well be asked to do

as well those things we havent been asked  but eventually will

those things under the guise that somehow weve assented to
under some form of ascendant business principle weve incurred and Will perform

without compensation

YES  that Affectation

somewhere down the line itll come offline

and that fine spit-and-polished coiffured enhanced madeup item will degrade or 

deteriorate

and in its stead will remain that hardened gem which had always been there

at its core

under the fawneyness

he remembered showing the company ID he was required to wear

strung around his neck

(like a dogs collar)

to new hires

he pointed to it

--   Looking for a job

then he pointed to his face

years after the ID photo was taken

--   Got a job

one of the female new hires pointing to his ID said

--   I may be out of line

--   And thatd be  he said  fine with me

--   But I wouldnt have slept with that jamoke

that was him all over the place

he was ever for skipping foreplay and going right at the heart of the matter

                  

and that never went well with those Upstairs 
who sat around a big long conference table where all the crucial business decisions were made
(in a vacuum without common sense)
(every decision in business is crucial)
 

but the thing of it was really a simple matter

as much as he drew their disgust

he did his job

  

and he did his job better than anyone else did their respective job

he wasnt a “Faulkner

a juggler or tumbler or shewer of tricks who lures people much as a faulconer does his hawks

a cant”

(a fancy way for calling someone a cheat)

he did his job

and to be rid of him for someone who would come aboard and do less

even for less money

would create a backup that he eliminated and managed since his little song-and-dance 

to get Inside

they played that ageold game of pea-in-a-shell

for Give and Take

although it turned out in the reverse

he Gave it to them

and they Took it

he could only wish he had a shill to (secretly) cheer him on

a new Manager once grumbled to him over his cubbys coloured-fabric partition wall

--   Ive seen your jacket

And I cant imagine how youre still here

recognizing his voice he didnt even look up

--   You do your job like I do my job

Both of us will be here for years to come

YEAH  that didnt happen

and his willingness to perform that affectation like a monkey mimicking him mimicking it

escaped the zoo

 

1533,  Sunday,  10  8. 14