peyen

she called out from the bedroom at the back of the bungalow

Give me just a second

from the bathroom up the hall from the bedroom he replied

Im peyen . .you got all the seconds ya need

Jay-sus

Sorry  . .hard to hear you over all this racket in here . .wha

she strode into the hallway outside the bathroom

I said Jay-sus

Wha

she stood framed in the whiteoak trimmed bathroom doorway

I said Jay-sus

Jay-sus wha      Oh comon you know you like this

Thats beside the point  Youre ridiculous

Nope  Im just a dick  Comere

Wha

Just comere

I dont think so

Dont think just comere

No

No

I said no

Whydoncha try  yes

No

Comon  Yes

No

Yes

No

Yes

No

No

I aint saying yes

Crafty  You just did

No

No  You said yes

I said I aint saying yes

But saying I aint saying yes is saying . . yes . .  you ought to be saying no

I did

No . .You said I aint saying yes . .  In that sentence is yes  . You should say no  unequivocally

I did

You didnt . . Not unequivocally

I cant believe youre still peyen

I did say You got all the seconds youll need

Jay-sus

You said that too

Ja . .

Auugh . . You know you like it

I do . .I do .  .At some weird level I do

So comere

For wha

A lil shake

Christ . .Ill give you a lil shake

he threw his arms off to the sides Im waitin baby

humored  she was good to her word

when they arrived at the New Years Eve party just under the stroke of Twelve their host and hostess chimed You two barely made it

she gave him a quick withering look over her shoulder

moving in through the front doorway under his breath so only she could hear

he said 
I wouldnt say that

1951,  Thursday,  3  1. 13

The pariah of American patriarchy

The pariah of American patriarchy

is a steep-ed shitheap at the bottom of an unmaintained outhouse

     now while some

             might imagine this image an overreach and ferociously object to it

                                                                                                          I would say Nah 

theres no apologeezs to be made or tendered

its egregious stench alone wouldnt allow anyone (in their right mind) to hazard reaching 
over it
let alone squatting atop it to relieve themselves

                                                            despite all the political American history Ive read
and weve entertained ungodly spite and rife dissension before 

                                                                                                               at this Time 
our Nation is wobbling and slipping from its once-upon-a-time self-ascribed   (yes  it is
politics  --  salesmanship)   and wholly entitled Indispensable-Nation status
to that of a probable Dispensable-Nation and an entirely possible
flaccid Declining-Nation

what we do possess is Roosevelts “big stick”   and we have squandered so very much to 
possess and retain it

                                    along the way we have become nothing more than what we tell 
our children  particularly our young boys and men  NOT to become       BULLIES

                                                                                           when all one possesses is violence
inevitably that violence will be turned against them

and when patriarchs feign being aghast at such a thought

                                                                                               

                                                                                                         their insincerity
has the smell of their pariah

1305,  Day-Between-Two-Ts,  18  6. 14

--   I cant see the horizon through the trees

he shoved me from behind  --   Shaddup n walk!  the blunt nose of his revolver banging 

my backbone black and blue 

No sweat huh  Soon you aint seein nuthin

these were old growth trees

dense

not me

dimly it occurred to me  maybe  the woods might take a bullet for me

one bullet might buy me just enough

outside fifteen feet hed be lucky to hit me through the vertical blinds

why worry the horizon

inside the car trunk I was aware we rode uphill

what goes up must come down 
and we were still walking uphill

thump! another welt rising on bone

a big bore

he might be able to shoot through a tree

underfoot  little tangle

--   I cant see the hori  . .

--   Ya said

lay it on dumb luck

all in the timing  
as he jabbed again I made a football spin

brought a heavy elbow to his temple

broken field run  downhill

physics pulling me

slicing sidewise between spaces in trees

my face whipped by boughs and naked fingerlings

BLAM! sounded bigger than the explosion of splintering wood behind me

Im still intact

churning

hurtling

praying the woods might take two

MUTHAFUCKER! bigger than the BLAM!

never send an oaf to do an elfs job

suddenly airborne

falling

not too far

keepin balance

soft earth landin

cut road

downhill

off road

MUTHAFUCKER!

gaining ground

big forest

he aint no bloodhound

aint either of us going home

legs and lungs are screamin

letem scream

letem bitch n bellyache

means were alive n afire

somewhere high above me a car engine starts coughs ought to do something about that 
coughs sputters stalls really ought to have done something about that

MUTHAFUCKER!

HA! sucks not to be me

lactic acid fire

a snatch of a cramp in my ham

Drop

talkin to myself

Ill listen to me

I drop

spittle runs spiderwebs across my face

hawk up a chunk of lung

spit

suck air

first time I glance over my shoulder

trees

I cant see the horizon for trees

thinkin

slow  heart

thinkin

slow  breath

buyin time

slow  it  all  d  o

                            w

                                 n

slowin

gobble up a look from where I am

no track

fat man aint no Daniel Boone

fat man would make plenty of noise as he came

I hoped the car croaked

with him piggybacking another human being of fat I liked my odds more and more

craaaank

dead car

talley

he dont walk out

one dead urban oaf

maybe a dead black and blue backbone

water

a bladder of piss

hold it

canteen

wont get snagged in the trees and brush

Up!

yeah me

bossy muthafucker

or so Im reminded

up

ham aint tight

sore

Go!

feel a disembodied finger at my spine ready to dig out a mewling vertebra

were going

if it aint as long a walk as I think it is  Ill poach him

Shaddup

Enough

yah

okay

focus

walk

deliberate

quiet

listen

birds roosting

night soon

fingers crossed I cross the road

switchbacks

lots

sudden bench

green

sunset

horizon smiles

There you are

smiles bigger

I smile

Nice to see ya again

between the benchs toes

road

black ribbon and a bow

2131,  Thursday,  13  12. 12