2.4.14

tonic for Spring



tonic for Spring
sulfur and blackstrap molasses
teaspoons  one part to two parts
professed to cleanse the blood
                                                                 nothing a good iron fleam blade couldnt fix
if one had the stomach or gumption
or perhaps an enticed leech reared in a springfed freshwater lake  

these were beginning to sound like specialty rolls at a sushi house

raw eggs work
some prefer it with a touch of milk and coarse ground black pepper
while others find them repellent because they have something to do with raw chickens
cant beat garlic or kale
legumes or soybean pods
although he was partial to calling them edamame  none of its letters crept off beneath 
the lower line of a Primary Ruled Printing Tablet
                                                                 which returned to him thoughts of one-inch ruling 
Bond paper and its trusty companion  the Ticonderoga #2 Beginner Pencils and their tactile smooth round yellow barrels
Prousts madeleines did justice  but memory isnt confined alone to scents or tastes
theres a weight in the hand  a turn of a phrase  sensations  a place
all are Tonics

and other tonics   toxic   things better left alone or struggling to forget 
banished for reasons  of which none should have to be explained
                                                                             that are      and that existence suffices

that which exists is
and even when it becomes was / Is

perhaps toxic is vitriolic malignant  or inappropriate 
                                                                    or perhaps it just feels that way to some people
to those who have forged ahead  mustered their way beyond the was / Is of their
experience
and who are grappled and clutched   who are sought to be arrested by sincere others
who sincerely feel they ought to be grateful for their time
                                                                                                   and as that time expires
are somehow obliged to rarify or vivify their Past
made Subjects of their memory

                     living as a Memorial
rather than a human being


one takes a tonic to refresh
to invigorate


a tonic is taken Spring Summer Fall Winter as needed
                                                                                                          or necessary

and better ingested alone



1020, Sunday,  7  7. 13

1.4.14



ah   crying guitar weeping violin melancholy viola and cello
                                                                                                              Macabre                  

setting the tone                                                                                                                
percolating his inherent violence                                                                                       
widening the bare offset that struggled to belay  heel  his derangement and keep his                        irrationale at bay

they cast odorous smoke and irritating ash in his face   smarting his eyes  insulting his nostrils                                                                                                                     
provoking him
the hardwood he clutched grew more dense   it smelled of raw blood and senselessness                             


he committed a bludgeoning

                                             freeing             
happily dystopian                                                                                                                             
happily disconnected

                                   he left the truncheon beside the cooling body and before leaving he 
casually admired the traces  splashes  and flung drippings 
                                           he admired the pooling blood  brittle teeth  bone and brainbits
had he been utterly devoid of pity he would have taken their hands                                                                                                          
                                                       which was all there was left for the next of kin for an ID                                                                                                                     
though recently tats helped tell their tale


during quiet nights                                                                                                                       
he imagined if he could shake the music  if he could bring himself to pierce his eardrums

maybe the senselessness might expire

but he couldnt be sure

his brain was spinning record sides separate of him


Obviously the separateness vied for his attention                                                                 
                                                                                he could hear a machine work his 
cloth  -  stitching him together   hear the clatter of a zipper  -  drawing him together  -  or 
coming undone


its Undone or Done was baked into his cake

from the inside he couldnt use a toothpick to test it


and every murder performed   ah   informed his knowing

                                                                                           informed him that if he had 
been found out earlier and killed   -   Take No Prisoners   -   his marbling or perfection 
would never have been



               some Wolves grew old                                            
and danced alone in the dark under an ochre moon or wildly in the eviserating yellow 
glazed sunlight 

                                                                                           Enormously happy they were
Never Discovered



1754,  Moanday,  13  1. 14