1.10.24

    abime
             an attractive word
French for abyss

ABIME

English for American Board of Independent Medical Examiners
                                                                   he wondered if the organisation knew that when it chose its acronym
doubted it
            the organisation failed him
physicians sided with physicians therapists with therapists psychiatrists with psychiatrists

Go ahead. Try and take on the medical community, pharmaceuticals, they’re thick as thieves.

he tried

they were

abime
       “Truth grows up inside of all the finite experiences . . . They lean on each other, but the whole of them, if such a whole there be, leans on nothing. All ‘homes’ are in finite experience; finite experience as such is homeless. Nothing outside the flux secures the issue of it.”
                                            William James anti-foundationalist none of our knowledge is certain

truth

he had to look it up in the dictionary

he thought he understood its definition

noun
      “the quality of being true, genuine, actual, or factual.”

digging a bit deeper

there are five concepts of truth
                                 “Precise analysis of the nature of truth is the subject of the correspondence, coherence, pragmatic, redundancy, and semantic theories of truth.”

semantic theory seemed loaded

however
          the sky is blue is true because it corresponds to the reality of the skys colour  2 + 2 = 4 is true because it correspondences with the reality of mathematical principles

couldnt punch any holes in that

anymore than he could punch the medical examiner assigned to his case

“Impairment Evaluations are often used to provide a more objective understanding of the impact of an injury or illness.” or death

“The quality of examinations and examiners varies widely, and it has been often difficult to identify skilled, thorough and unbiased examiners, especially before an examination.”

his said There’s nothing to see here.

like a cop
           Nothing to see, folks, move it along, move it along.


his attorney hoped at the very least that their failed attempt provided him some modicum of closure

closure
        the barn door stills swinging loose moving on currents of emotion  and occasional outrage that presents


    abime
            correct

prior to day-between-2-Ts,  17  9. 24
0949,  2sday,  1  10. 24

https://iep.utm.edu/s-truth/

dreaming

 

long

tall

brunette

black

thong

bikini


campanile
bell tower*

words scrolled up

StarWars style

repeating


 

woke

laid still

eyes closed

in profile

she stretchedreached

placed

retrieved

something

from the back

of a matte gunmetal gray

Mercedes-Benz

Sprinter van

hed have preferred

ArmySurplus

fatigue

pale olivegreen

 

from inside the vehicle

looking out


undressed

her head back

identity unrevealed

long neck

slender throat

hair tumbled over her right shoulder

playful strands over her left
one
     delicately curlicued round her aureole

rack of ribs

taut belly

graceful hips

artfully trimmed pubic

muscled thighs

dream
        fulafulafluttered
losing it

losing
          losing
lost it

to consciousness  stomping its feet  claiming what was its

hypnopompic pleads

DENIED


cats hustled in jumpedup on the bed
                                       bugle reveille
Im up Im up

Then open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

he sighed

eyes flooded with sense
                            Gudmornin sunshines

11AM,  Monday,  30  9. 24
0829,  2sday,  1  10. 24
*UC/Berkeley
second tallest in the world
dont build them like that anymore

30.9.24


they viedantagonised each other over the difference between his ability to remember dreams  bros inability

Ifya paid attention

They’re dreams.

Motherfucker More than dreams
                                   Theyre confirmations messengers
Yacant remember because you minimise them cut their legs from out underem

I haven’t.

Remember last nights

No.

Crippledem
             I had three but as Ive said because I sleep intermittently the wake betweenem are commercial breaks that allow me to keepem  remember

You sleeping through the night

I wake to urinate.

Dreams go byebye

Hell if I know.
                    So what’d you dream?

Visual An attractive woman sayingrepeating Im not a good girl Im not a good girl
Conviction
    visualising  She wasnt

I’m not.

No
     Yah

Who says that?

She did Although I knewdug her backstory
                                               Knowing provided context to her gleeful words

And the story?

   No

You’ll admit to me she wasn’t a good girl, but won’t spill the beans?
No

    That’s unguyish.

he humoured himself  Is tha a word

Fuck you.
           You’re constantly making up words. I’m not allowed?
Havent
Unguyish.  Have.
                    Take that.
Taken

    So you’re really not going to say?
No

face fell That’s shit.



her first facial
she handed him her phone
                              Take a picture I wannasee.
Share
Yeah.

Awright

she smiled awfully huge

1040,  Monday,  30  9. 24
2244,  Monday

You’re so fuckin' weird.

Probably

    You don’t take exception?

Nah
       I understand why youre saying so

Because you’re a freak. I’ve not met anyone like you.

You havent
              Theres a backstory
An no sense tryin to offend me cuzaint happenin old sticks an stones line applies

That’s another thing.
                       You don’t care what anybody thinks of you.

No Wha I think of me is more important than people who don know me from Adam
                                                                                         Anya know wha I saybout tha
Fuckem.

Right on brother right on

Your backstory?

My Maws responsible

You’re hanging your mother out to dry?

I am
       A kid Going out for football high school double practises summer you remember

Don’t remind me.

Right on
          Had water breaks All the other guys were suckinup Gatorade I had a gallon jug of water  Went home
Maw think you could pickup some Gatorade for me pleaseNo.
                                                                 Thafast no  I don even think she looked at me

All the other guys their mothers fathers parents are picking it up for them

So what are you telling me?

    Tellin you
                    Im not tellinya anything  Im asking if you would please

Which you know the answer to.

Then she says
                  You want to be like everybody else?
Everybody else
                   I almost puked No

End of conversation

Soyah Im hang tha on my Maw

1040,  Monday,  30  9. 24
329 preferred to 1529,  Monday


airport

not one in particular


an airport

within was a stumbling man splayed foot Size14s think Bozo the Clown plaidshirted dotard  lean heavily on tard

another with a prodigious gutENORMOUS belly fleshy standingsulking before a cooler of prepackaged foodstepping side to side without regard for others who were aware he was oblivious and stepped aside or back accommodate him  all his failed diets
              how his thin black suspenders didnt snap an take out someones eye  anyet returned from his trip more than two weeks now hes still amused when he rememberswhen his mindseye paints the fat man When were the triplets due

he was humoured

also irritated
               handsfree new parents
hed had his  three
                     was blessed said without religious intent with girls who were born old souls good thing they grewup together he did his levelbest so his wife didnt raise four

he acquitted himself nicely
                             his acquittal eased by the fact that their girls were smart
he was terribly grateful he didnt have to suffer dolt male children as too many of his friends had

must have done his youthful drugs in proper measure or sequence
                                                                       fine accentuating cocktails that didnt damage his DNA as authorities threatened they would


    these new parents
                         they wear their babies like one would wear accessories

roll their luggage  get onboard in the first wave with members of the military and the disabled

   theyll never experience the pleasure of their loved ones meeting them at the gate when they arrive

Thank you Sep11   

0558, 2sday,  17  9. 24
1007,  Monday,   30  9. 24

29.9.24

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STSkGSTMr9Y

casually
            not good

causally
          cause and effect

Causality

Casualties
               collateral damage

seems acceptable
                     as long as it is not happening to them and theirsTHEN they lose their mind   rightfully so
casualties hurt
                if theyre able to survive  walkaway
but
      nobody walks away from being violatedHEY
                                                      Ive an idea
Whachagot

A woman has to bear a rapists child

Some states

Wha about therapists

Youre breathless
                   The Rapists

Thaswha I said yah

No
    Two different things

Sometimes theyre not

Probable  Ill grant you tha

Thank you

Youre welcome

Whaof them

Theres law

Does the law have them on the hook financially for their bastardstheyre bastards know it sounds harsh an may no longer carry the weight it once did but they arethey are they on the hook while theyre getting three square in confinementif if theyre apprehended tried found guilt

I don know

Donya think yashoud

No

Thas unlike you truthseeker anall

Anall
       Cleverly close

Aint it the truth aint it the truth

Im not looking
                 If I had my druthers every rapists forced baby every incested forced baby ought to be raised financially by the six kowtowing Supreme Court judges
Ooh  Judges

    Ya caught tha

Yes
      Justices
Not to me
           Theyre a kind of rapist court  Fucking the American people

Yah
         Well this was nice
A long conversation 

Youre my shehes heshes
                           Friends Romans countrymen lend me your ear

Mark Antony Shakespeare Julius Caesar
                                            We know because you know

Thanks for saying so Were blowing my mind

Our mind
           Unblowable Though occasionally bulges

Granted  Occasinally

1856,  day-between-2-Ts,  25  9. 24
1222,  Sunday,  29  9. 24
song by White Stripes  Effect and Cause

Unask the question
he flinched
             Is that a word?

Certainly You follow the premise   Undo the asking

Why would I do that?

It may have impressed you  zilch inane to me
                                                  Youre not familiar with Japanese mu nothingness  no thing
I am not a little disconcerting you are.

Wideread Perfect little gems one comes across
                                                  In another sense  why I refuse to answer hypotheticals an . .
. . You should . .
. . Don interrupt
                    Anya ought to know tha by nowya know tha   Don

Then you’re curtailing censoring our conversations.

Youre welcome to play Ill listen I wont have an opinion because wha youre expressing is tha

No opinion.

How can you just not have an opinioneveryone has an opinion?

Theyre a waste of time They  beliefs  of imagined situations conditions tha do not exist  Lets hoe the row keep to things tha exist are factual 
                             Dare I say provable

You often stretchout . . imagine.

Yes
     I do not ask for your opinion

You’re opining.

Imagining
Dreaming

No real world consequences albethey dramatic

Albethey.
           Another not word.

They replaces it A word
                             Again you followed it
he sneered

You don like following me

No.  It irritates me.

0952,  Sunday,  29  9. 24

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhSdNy1snaU

 

    Whell  whell    well        well   filled with freshwater
                                                                    muttered to himself
mused  never met a gal with that problem
he hadnt known that it was
                                 was yet another Pharma advertising blitz on youtube
“. . . ask your doctor today.” 
why it plied him made no sense

Revaree

he SKIPped it in the allotted 5 seconds but he wasnt going to get those 5 seconds back

youtube took it and would suffer no financial loss for interrupting him
                                                                         his time   day dies  25Sep ’24
never again
like human beings everything living

despicable how drug companies dipped into his life
extracted moments from him
                              SO
what the fuck is Revaree
wasnt curious
                just wanted to know what Pharma thought to gain off him   Ah
                                                                                    Spit on it
vaginal moisturizerHAWK TUAH
                                     two can play that way Ms Welch
read she was finally making some cash off her inadvertent Tiktok interview
                                                                                 unfortunately late to the game
others gamed it 

what they hawked he hadnt a clue


that said
          he was sympathetichad empathy for those with dry arid chasms

he hoped freshwater would return soon 

1856,  day-between-2-Ts,  25  9. 24
1016,  Sunday,  29  9. 24
song by The Who  Love, Reign O’er Me

28.9.24


epiphanies

they came an went
                     he couldnt keep up with them
one would appear
                    a second shove it aside third likewise ARE YOU MESSIN WITH ME  third buttfucked by the fourth
toughass epiphanies
                        but if they couldnt hold their own
why would he mourn em


they piledon
               all he could do was witness see if he could make hide or hair of em
NO
      like tryin to take a solitary frame from a rollin reel
cut your fingers off

he had need of em all
                       Sorry babe   Cant digitally please you
trifecta
          cock tongue fingers  ruined

    What did you do?

I  I tried saving an epiphany

But you have them all the time.

Yesyah
          But it intrigued me  I didnt want to let it get away

    Lost fingers. Got away.

Yah

Fuckin pitiful.
                Fuckin pitiful.

spread her legs
                  Get on it.
she was upset
                 but he still had his tongue
On it
Shaddup.
             Ill let ya know when you can talk.


he really surprised her with an index up the ass
she tried to bolt

his other hand was unmolested

she wasnt going anywhere


    she said she lost her mind

he saw exactly where it landed
                                  Whas it worth
More fucks and sucks and pleasures than you can imagine.

he thought shed have negotiated harder
                                            but  brain vacated

he had the upperhand  despite digits missing


that wasnt an epiphany

2219,  Saturday,  28  9. 24

had been flying

crosscountry

back again


meeting his ride at the curb he got in and said Terminal

bro replied Terminal?

Yah  I still have a hard time with tha
                                        Yad think it woudnt affect me since I only fly once a year
Terminal.
            What’s with that?

Id rather theythe recorded loudspeaker system say   concourse

So you don’t distinguish between the two?

Howso

A terminal is comprised of several concourses.

No  Theyre coequal

I disagree.

Youre right
            Like men an women coequal Theyre not   Women are superior
We’re coequal.

Fuck we are
              Youre living proof men are at a deficit  deficient

I pick you up and you berate me?

Im not berating you brother
                               Plain truth
Whatever.
            What’s your hangup?

Terminal or not coequal

Terminal, Christ.

Whaelse is terminal

What do you mean?
Us
      Were terminal   I really need to be reminded of tha when I fly
                                                                         If all the folks who suffer fear of flying  dig  aerophobia . .
. . Yamade that up.
Did not  Fuckin phobias for every fear
                                          Coprophobia  Fear of shitting  Imagine  Kakorrhaphiophobia Abnormal fear of failure or defeat Cant imagine  Athazagoraphobia intense or irrational fear of being forgotten or of forgetting someone something

Nothing to fear but fear itselfJeez
                                    My point is all those folks who fear flyingmedicate themselves last fuckin thing they want to hear at an airport is  terminal

   You been storing this up for awhile?
Canya tell
            Thanks  I appreciate the ride your ear

0558,  2sday,  17  9. 24
1259,  Saturday,  28  9. 24