11.7.16

a Tabula rasa aint no Etch a Sketch




if he had dental tools he might be able to pick this out of his soppywet memory out of his quivering brain – who said the mess didnt feel pain -- fingers crossed he wouldnt damage the whole lot yank or misplace basket weave or offset his neural-net wetworks

he was soaking in a tub

trying to soften leather straps that inhibited him trying to buy some cheap hot relief and while drifting in and out of consciousness keeping water juust out of his nose keeping himself from drowning he recalled an distant idea that strucking him now should have been eminently profitable had he dug his spurs into the horses flanks then

though what that was was what eluded him this morning

he should have written it down when he got out of the tub but the heat sapped him and he was fortunate to escape it and not fall onto his face for the faint he felt inside  

he snorted a little water choked but not copious he swallowed it

perhaps the idea escaped with that



McDonalds    McDonalds had something to do with it  he recognised the original stand-alone neon-lit Golden Arches before the company ceased erecting them and incorporated the sign inside a sign

had to hand it to somebody inside the outfit

it was a clever achievement . . .


he recalled they were passing a joint around

they squatted in a depression they dug in the earth and pulled a piece of plywood over it littering it to look as if itd always laid like that and hiding their hideout in the midst of a place they called prairie one of many undeveloped lots in the city that was separated from the observing world by stands of saplings and cast-off industrial wooden spools that once held wire or cable and heaped pallets  the spools were huge  it took a few guys to get them off their ends  but once they did they could roll them anywhere they wanted



. . . ahTHAT was it
the bird came home to roost
he said they ought to SUPER-size it  McDonalds fries are the shit but they only sold them in stingy paper slips

Somebody decided  one of the guys said

it had to be one of the guys because they only girl that came out with them was busy giving head

Sue  an admitted nympho

some kids thought she was a slut

they were smart to keep it to themselves and accept her nympho moniker than call her out as a slut

slut got her all up in arms

whoever sullied her by hook and by crook shed get back at

she had her ways  and they were devious


Slut she said Who said so
                      she was ridin him reverse cowgirl-style before it was called reverse-cowgirl  then it was just another nice way to fuck and while fucking he could dig her sweet ass

she craned her head around her hair tossed across her face in wheatcoloured sheaves she said You lookin at my ass cuz if ya aint youre stupid You don wanna miss out

Sue shared his high opinion of her body  they werent wrong  she had a stellar body that braless and halter topped was breathtaking



old men gawked  


young men drooled
 
he never missed a beat with Sue

she blew him up sexually and he was staggered trying to keep up with her

Sue was insatiable and when he was exhausted shed laugh  Boys are pitiful so pitiful


But I can help ya with that if ya like

of course hed like  Help  How

she laughed

wordlessly she began masturbating                       

she cooed howled in her throat barked as if she were a changeling Jekyll corrupting into Hyde her fingers furiously at herself dabbling them with spirited juice

she laughed gutturally as he responded grew hard Aw baby How sweet of youLemmehelp

she took him in her mouth sucked him greedily noisily groan groan as she neared cumming

he took her by the hair fucked her face she gagged then ferociously took him in her throat her eyes tearing

they both exploded



Slut


Im no more a slut then you are


he hadnt tried that on until she said it


Fits donit she said


It fits

Comere slut  she curled her indexfinger towards herself for him to come to her

he hadnt far to go

she wrapped him in her body God I love fuckin you

I love fuckin you

I hope we fuck long time
she teased him
she knew he had an eye for Asian girls  she stole a black wig blunt bangs once and did her best voice impersonation

YaknowBaby I might be as close as you ever get


she nearly was  

Sue was killed in a car wreck just before graduation

it was hard to sat goodbye

after everyone left the cemetery he put the black wig on her fresh grave  Hey my little China doll  You forgot this



it was a long long time before he had the Real McCoy




Somebody decided  one of the guys said

Well somebody decided wrong! Its fuckin obvious Crank it up Freak-size it

I think you ought to stick with your Super-size it   More salient palatable

Oh fuck you Bruce  Christ  When are you gonna go off and become an attorney already  Salient  Palatable

Im just saying

Okay  Say to somebody else

It is a fantastic idea

Yeah  Fantastic  Right up there with my tshirts

Tshirts  What are you talking about

Yeah  Another idea I have
In the future people are going to be wearing tshirt everywhere and from them advertising their minds  Or just fucking advertising  You know business it has to have its fingers in everything  Were unAmerican if business isnt taking their cut  The dues they feel theyre due

Fries and tshirt  Youre a monster

And storage lockers Facilities People will accumulate so much shit Good Consumers Comrades that they are that they wont be able to fit it inside their houses

What the fuck are you talking about

Trust me 

Itll go that way 

Tshirts will be more than just where you wipe your fingers  You wont want to  It may be one of your favorites



The shit that occurs to a restless receptive mind while trying to negate pain  Going blank slate Tabula rasa
The fucking thing is never blank



Evening near 2100 hours,  Friday,  1  7. 16
0814,  Saturday,  2  7. 16

Peter Green  The End of the Game  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ev9voQFax8

10.7.16



as she got up to leave the room she said  Just leave it alone

she was referring to the couch where she spent the night so she wouldnt disturb his sleep – he wasnt sleeping well -- and he wouldnt disturb hers 

I dont know why why it is you just cant leave anything be

he called down the hall after her raising his voice so she would hear him as she went to the bathroom
I dont leave anything alone

the bathroom door shut cutting him off leaving him high and dry   or perhaps she thought

her walking out on him didnt end his diatribe or explanation
why would it

if she didnt want to stick around to hear it that was on her head

he didnt balk or back off

he was gonna get it out into the wide blue aether where it could disperse like smoke in the wind

he expelled it so it wouldnt acclimate to his body it wouldnt fester in obscure corners or teardrop tears too minute to see
toxic

keeping that shit inside was begging for trouble


if there was one thing he wouldnt tolerate offer a toehold or desperate scintilla of sympathy
it was stress

stress was the murderer of the Rue Morgue was Jekylls slovenly Hyde it was a snub-nosed barrel of a .38 in ones mouth so they didnt gag  a heaping handful of pills  a freshly-stropped straight razor to slash up ones arm or across their throat


stress was suicide

and he wasnt inviting his to stay


stress is what one does to themselves then tries to accuse others for their predicament

a crock of shit

he was amazed when people tried finger others  make excuses for themselves


he dropped his like a hot smelly turd and buried it like a dog




he said after her  I dont leave anything alone

I dont leave anything alone under the auspice or supposition that if you leave anything alone it remains left alone  neglected   unmaintained

It degrades

You see that in infrastructure

It aint like a mote in the eye

It glares back at you

Smacks you in the face

You see it in education  roads  railroads  slums   in ones disregard for their health and teeth


You wanna cry  Leave it alone

Turn it on yourself

Youve switched up your art 

You havent touched your acrylics or watercolours or oils

Youve committed to computer graphics

Your studio  we share as our diningroom  is heaped at the edges disorganised Unfinished canvases lean on canvases planks of wood sheaves of paper and month after month you say youll get after it
clean it up



But you leave it alone



Its not my mess to arrange
but its impels me to make sure in the meantime no small mess will furthur encroach on our space

But more importantly my space

My space can be stacked clean edges exposed and not look like disarray 

Aint nothing slopping or slipping onto the floor or needs to be moved place to place to vacuum or dust


No 

I wont leave a damn thing alone if I have my way


he picked up and folded the blanket and flatsheet and returned them to the bedroom where they kept them in a mothballed steamer trunk 

he grabbed the pillows and returned them to the head of their bed

he returned the back cushions to the couch laid the Mexican blanket across them  the blanket set off and accented the colours of the art hanging on their walls


she came out of the bathroom
Gosh all cleaned up Thank you  But you could have left it for me to do

I think you got plenty to do


I do
she nodded absently sat on the couch looked into her cellfone and sipped her coffee   Blah  Its cold 

Would you like a reheat she asked


Nah  No thanks babe  

I got something to write 
 



1230,  Monday, 4th of July