Amusingly

  

                    troublesomely

                       he had been ahmused 

many of his recent pieces had either heroines or were inspired by women                             

                                                                                                                       despite

his liberal disinfectant of craft beers and antiseptic straight tumblers of Buffalo Trace

and despite those keen efforts

and not raising his eyes or turning his head or listening for their voices

                                                                                                                     somehow

they got up on him  in him   fixed him when he least expected

like a big buck caught in oncoming headlights

he surmised rather expected    that one purposefully pursues a muse

and finds her before she can possibly exert her desired influences or rally senses or sensibilities he otherwise probably did not command 

                                                                                                   skew his perceptions

because by himself he hadnt the audacity or clairvoyance to imagine them

and yet

 

               somehow 

                   with no pretense or intentionsBAM!  there they were       titillating him 

becoming front and center in his imagination

                                                                          as vagrants   vampyres   or vixens

he  nevertheless

             had the good sense  the wholesome unprejudiced good sense  to abide their favor and sensibilities and enshrine them with the words and ideas they put in his mouth and hand

he was ever grateful  and an inadvertent beggar

1130,  Tuesday,  6  1. 15

It was hard not to take her in

standing  bent forward at the hips  at the window

it almost made him feel like he was leering  when actually she was so natural in pose  so at ease  no restraint or self-consciousness   he nearly didnt recognize her at all 

             as easily she could have been red and white gingham curtains at the sashes of a kitchen window

so very natural  and unassuming

nevertheless he dropped his eyes

he may have blushed a little

and he hadnt blushed since he was a kid

honestly  it felt good

and after the fact it was downright hard not to look back up at her  really look    and leer

not to  would have been against any mans grain

even if it was impolite

chances were hed never lay eyes again on something as momentous

 

when something is rare itd be wrong to do otherwise

so he looked on  hard

blushing

                                                                           itd been years since he was in the neighborhood

and rolling through it something in his brain pecked at him

reminded him

then he moved in his pants

he was doubleteamed

Oh shit!

he remembered

I wonder

he pulled over alongside the curb

stopped his car

briefly  cleared his throat

and found his legs to get out

the inkling had become etched

the downright pattern for a criminal returning to the scene of his crime

he had to gather his bearings

somewhere around here

somewhere                                                                                                                                      then  fat and lazy it restored itself to his memory  as if he saw it through nightvision

its chattering  grainy limegreen lightning popping up and leading the way

he walked as if he were intoxicated

it was fun taking the ride

just one more street up

a small strip mall

he recalled three or four shops

then coming around the corner he could make out the lousy Available Rental signs

like cop tape wrapped around a crime scene  or cheap chalk outlining a murdered body

Corporate America was good at its job  it kept vampires going to their dentists to hone their canines

all the shops were blackeyed staring  and empty

through its plateglass windows the first shops linoleum was still littered with refuge

the real estate company hadnt even bothered to enter and sweep the floors

                                                                                                                   Pride in America

he supposed

if America liked Main Street looking like an alley two weeks deep into a trash collection Labor dispute

 

his heels clicked to a stop

Oh man

the years in-between fell away

still shameless  still proud

almost exactly what she was before

some curling  yellowing   at her edges

probably the relief of the long shade thrown on her by an old oak tree in the adjacent parking lot

she looked out at him  leaning at the hips

and still he couldnt bring his eyes up to read the bicycle manufacturers name in stylised print across the top of the poster over her windswept hair

her face shoulders and chest were too vivacious for such pitiful competition

No  he wasnt too severe with himself when he looked on her the first time 

and staring at her again he hoped wherever she was she might be able to feel his eyes on her

the way he was feeling her eyes on him

then  and now

1441,  Sunday,  4  1. 15

2155,  Sunday,  4  1. 15