Amos Bronson Alcott  1799 –1888

                                      he was repeating a quote of his to himself as he groceryshopped  Our dreams drench us in sense, and sense steep us again in dreams.

he really liked it

                  distracted  he cutsharp past an endcap nearly rocking a woman employee walking up the aisle he enteredgrabbed her by the arms so he didnt bowl her overdrop her on her back

You okay

   I am I am I’m sorry.

Im sorry though looking into her hand her cellphone yaoughta watch where youre driving

chuckled

          Yeah. Suppose I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.

But youre okay

I am, yes, thank you.   I’m okay.

Then off ya go he glanced at her breast Violet stitched in the apron Violet

                                                                           A story behind tha huh

she smiled mischievously liked her dimples There is.

he released her

she moved away dazed like a trout freed from a hook

                                                            Ill seeya around

quicklook over her shoulder said  Likely.

 

Ahshit

        he liked going to cashiers  disliked the Self Checkout 

but there were two extremely long lines

the people in them had one thing in common

they had beer booze  Super Bowl

not allowed through Self Checkout

but this is where corporate coercion falls flat

                                               while it rather people use Self Checkout it fails to realise their alcohol rules force people to stand in long lines and either havent the personnel to run cash registers or arent interested in opening lanes opening fresh cashdrawers that have to be counted at closing

MOTTO   THEY CAN WAIT people need their groceries

Ahshit a second time Self Checkout  Sounds like suicide

he hadnt liquour

   he was coerced

set his grocery bag on narrow shelf thighhigh to the left of the scanner thighhigh to the right was a long aluminum table after careful stacking twenty cans of catfood he balanced on a book that he would have to scan individually  cashiers scanned one variety entered 4 scanned the next entered 4  a breeze  he wasnt going to be breezy  

no sooner than he set the book on the table the machine reprimanded him actually said Unrecognised product. Remove it to continue. terse  muttered Fuckin machine under his breath he didnt get into an argument with it removed it to the floor at his feet there wasnt room anywhere else

before he began laboriously tediously  scanning  he looked up at the two lines

                                                                                     they were longer

he committed

scanning 

progress

completed the catfood

produce

         laid Anaheim peppers on the scale  scanner screen showed eight pictures of vegetables  no peppers  beneath the pictures was written  Enter item with alphabet pad.

it wasnt QWERTY under his breath KahRist 

the machine did not recognise Anaheim

over his shoulder a voice   Excuse me.

heard that voice before

                        turned slightly  that hair  either red dyed blonde blonde dyed red

Violet  he said

We meet again. Let me help.

                              she Backspaced voiding his entryrapped the eight pictured screen  another set of vegetable pictures appearedrapped the Anaheim pepper picture

This machine has a bit of a personality.

Don they all

there was that dimplepit smile again

                                        I believe you’re off an running again . . .

Im Joe

Joe.  Nice to meet you.

Happy New Year

It’s February.

Its my first opportunity to wish you one

she smiled That’s true he was growing fond of her smile  Happy New Year to you.

Thank you

Think you got it from here?

Few more produce I can be a fast learner if I like cartoned items  I think Im cool

   Cool.

         Who says that?

You

that mischievous smile

                          Violet walked away

this time he watched her go

                              nice ass

accentuated by the dangling ends of her knotted apron tie thumping it

                                                                           slim waist

 

FINISH AND PAY was the prompt

HOW MANY STORE BAGS?

rapped 0

Machine voice Pay with coins first, then bills.

debitcard

           tapped the screen entered his PIN placed his bag beside his groceries

bent over

picked up his book

set it on the table

started bagging

Error. machine voice

Whafuckin error  under his breath

Error. it repeated as if it heard him

Violets voice waft over his shoulder

                                      We have to stop meeting like this.

Where would you like to meet

her laughter tickled his ear

                              Your book, it’s your book.

It doesnt like Bolanos Twentysixsixtysix

It gummedup the works doesn’t recognise it.

I paid

No receipt. See. It’s refused to process your payment.

                                                          Let me help.

she had to scan her IDcard which hung from a lanyard

she leaned against him

                           Awdammit.

stood up stripped off her ID

                              I’m forever forgetting I have to press my ID to the screen to be scanned.

leaned against him

scanned down her blouse Jesus he thought

accepted her ID

she entered some number on the keypad

it was a long number

You’re special.

Special

         Like a retard

No. made a face  that frankly looked retarded

Don make that face

What?

Nothing

   Special. In thatI’d bet a day’s wages . . . you haven’t used Self Checkout a half dozen times . . anywhere. They’ve been around for years.

I havent I don much care for their personalities

                                                   A mutual HATE HATE relationship

Hate hate?

I hate it it hates me hatehate

the machine spit out his receipt

There you have it. You’re good to go.

                                       By the bye  By the time you pack your groceries I’ll have punched out for break

We could meet in my car

Love to

 

crossing the warm tarmacked parking lot  she parked remote

                                                                  Your hair

My hair?

It is blonde streaked red or red streaked blonde

Play your cards right you might find out.

 

it was a stationwagon    Awman I love your car    Thank you.    she unlocked the drivers side swung the door open threw her apron on the seat

                               Plant your groceries there.

she shut the door

opened the passenger door seats were collapsed

                                                     You first.

he crawled in turned to face her she crawled in he didnt scan  blouse was unbuttoned

 

 

he didnt find out

she was a tease

saw an esthetician

afternoon,  Wednesday,  5  2. 25

1345,  Monday,  10  2. 25

What are you reading?

Irish John McGahern  The Pornographer

Comparing yourself or learning at his knee?

Excuse me

You’re a pornographer.

I am not

Ohplease . . . you write about sex you certainly talk about it.

And politics an religion an equal opportunity offender an wha appears to meappeals to me in any given moment  Hence pen tucked over my ear if paper not in a book a piece folded in my pocket

Yacant take me anywhere not social gatherings Im guaranteed to offend an usually in very short order 

Its a talent

But you write about se . .

. . Love  Flirtation   Admiration Desire

                                                Not denying sex

You write graphically about it.      

   Sometimes

                   More often its nuanced

Nuanced. 

          You write about fucking.

I write about imagined  fucking   the way artists use white space

                                                                       Lead the reader up to the edge letem decide if they want to jump  to jump in

Imagine

I hint sexuality

   But you don know because you don read me an therefore assume

I imagine you write like you talk.

Ya don imagine  Ive toldya tha

Have you?

I have

           Im not a pornographer

I write about animated inanimate things spiders cats

                                                        I write about a leaf floating on a pool surface casting a shadow on the bottomwhich looks like a turtle  an as the sun lowers in the sky the leaf drifting towards the end the shadow-turtle climbing the side until it surfacesemerges a turtle   that crawls away into garden beds

 

 

 

What am I supposed to say about that?

Nothing

1040,  Sunday,  9  2. 25

1134,  Monday,  10  2. 25

You shoudnt get too ticked with these cunts

   Cunts?

              Might suggest youre ticked.

Ohyah yah

                But Im not gonna letem raise my heartrate bloodpressure

Keep it cool boy

Keep it cool?

West Side Story

I’ve only seen parts of it.

Youre a waste of a human being

                                   Thasaid theyre children they only think theyre men

I’m not a waste.

See it start to finish including overture an intermission Ill rescind you being a piece of shit an a waste  Had two songs from it played at my wedding

Keep it cool

Still . . I’m not a waste . . . but that’s how you intend to take this garbage in stride, not pull your hair out?

   Yup   Think about it

                          Get your hands on some boys an giveem an option

Youll provide all the tools nails lumber an they can build a garage or they can demolition an existing one

Wha do you think

What kind of boys are they?

It wont matter  threefour boys

I think it’ll depend on the boys.

Youre wrong

             Its built in    Human nature

What do you mean built in?

Lemme go a step furthur  Id bet one ofem will think ask  Demolish it.

                                                                             Can we burn it down?

Woud demolish it  Yah fire counts

                                      Think

Burn it down  they don have to lift a finger

Human nature

Lazy at heart

                Easier to destroy than to create

So no Im not goin get my panties in a bunch

Ill letem expose themselves  Pickem off one at a time

                                                               At my leisure

1700ish,  Wednesday,  29  1. 25

1407,  reggaefriday,  7  2. 25

West Side Story  Cool  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wugWGhItaQA

Three Dog Night  Easy To Be Hard  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vexQAowK1ok

didnt see that comin

                      for Christssake  when she eats salad she dips her fork in the dressing does not slather it on top

   Really

What?

Hows it hangin

That’s what I said.

Well thank you for askin I dress left currently seated so Im not hangin rather cradled in my Jockeys as we talk

Woud you like me to stand to find out

she laughed

I cant tellya the last time I heard tha

laughed harder

                  I can’t tell you the last time I asked anyone. What’s that about?

No idea Yaoughta ask your grandson maybe his father first see if hows it hangin is truly a generational tidbit

   I purposefully used tidbit  They don hang

laughed harder yet

                     STOP. You’re killin’ me.

You started it 

STOP.

                  Lemme catch my breath.

Resuscitated

   Yes.  Thank you.

Still sound a bit breathless Sounds like I called a sex phone line loved it when I called an Maw had a cold Shed was hoarse raspy Id say Ohshit lemme hang up an you call me back When you do tell me wha youre wearin  something revealin youre scantily-clad

No.

Yah

        Yah I did

Did she call back?

I didnt hangup

                 The suggestion itself flipped her

I miss her

   I do too.

So you’re well?

I am You

Doin’ alright.  

0942,  Tuesday,  4  2. 25

1252,  reggaefriday,  7  2. 25

Three Dog Night  Feeling Alright  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUN6ltAWoSM

she said  Trust me.

he said  Im afraid

honest

earnest

it took courage for her to ask him to trust her

                                                despite thinkingbelieving their relationship intrusted that implicitly explicitly

it took him courage to say he was afraid  men arent supposed to be afraid

                                                                                fear diminished them  yet

she was utterly fearless 

he met met isnt right

                          he first saw her she rushed out of a bar yanked a guy off his girlfriend as he shovedshook her

beat him to the punch

boyfriend glaredbegan reaching for her but he saw him cominghustlin

spit in his girlfriends face Fuckyou cunt stormed off crossed the street into a parking lot

he went up to them Okay

the girlfriend nodded through her tears

she said Sonofabitch! Women. Hands off.

he called a cab for the girlfriend

they stood silently absorbed in their thoughts

when the cab arrived he asked the driver the fare to her address and covered it  included a tip

he helped her into the cab shut the door stepped back onto the curb

That was nice of you.

he chuckled

               Im not nice

Thawas crazy of you

Yah. Well. I’m crazy.

Im Joe Crazy

You can call me Spike. Nickname my father gave me.

Spike he liked how it felt coming out of his mouth

                                                If you like we can go inside Ill buy you a drink  Well call it a reward order a couple Good Samaritans

You’re funny.

Im legit

         Its a drink 

Good Samaritans a drink, you pulling my leg?

Think if I did youd punch me in the mouth

                                              Women Hands off

Awright smart guy.  Joe, what’s in it?

Ounce bourbon Amontillado sherry banana liqueur fresh lemon juice

Sounds sweet.

It does

You know what’s in it but never had it?

I kissed a girl after she sipped it

                                   I think thas the only way Id like it

So . . you want to kiss me?

You don want to kiss me

   A shot and a beer please.

Three fingers to sip an a beer

I could do that.

You coud do me

                  he didnt say that

Then lets do tha

overnight,  reggaefriday,  7  2. 25

1100,  reggaefriday

Hey he called to the other side of the house cross the backyard Yacatchin the conjunction between the Moon and Venus Theyre hot

finished urinating into a flower bed he went up the back steps into the den where the pool table stood

they were playing nine-ball hed bitchslapped him in eight-ball so they went to nine-ball where one could get away with slopdidnt have to call their shots

buddy came into the house through the family room crossed the kitchen into the den

                                                                                         I heard your Hey but I couldn’t hear the rest of what you said.

Was cryin about the conjunction between the Moon and Venus

Ohyeah, I read about that.

Read  Happenin outside right now  An hot

                                              As a matter of fact some cloudcover moved in  a purplishhaze gauzy pair

I guess I better look. he went to the door opened it went onto the shallow porch

                                                                                      Ohman!  Nice nice.

Eminently fuckable

he turnedsaid through the doorway

                                      What did you say?

Eminently fuckable

Why would you say that?

Why woudntya think tha  LOOK

I have. Nothing erotic comes off it.

So youve no sexual response to something dropdead gorgeous

You think that’s . dropdead gorgeous?

   I think you ought to dropdead Something terrible wrong with your senses

                                                                                  lamentably shook his head  Eminently fuckable

1600ish,  Saturday,  2  2. 25

1006,  reggaefriday,  7  2. 25

Hendrix  Purple Haze  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoDaYjdfSg

Chick Corea Trio  Piano Sonata The Moon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU_K8EbtAzc 

AahJesus  he groaned

                         flashed immediately to his daughter asking her Is tha a thing

   What have I told you?

If I have to ask it is

See.  Not hard.

Easy for you to say baby

Jesus was an ad he saw at Outlook

                                       Cryochoice   a romance novel  wasnt

“America’s #1 Choice he wouldnt know if there was a second or third or if it was a sole entity but then of course #1  Choice for at-home sperm testing and freezing.”

                                       keep it away from the ice cube trays

These are the cutest little ice cubes . .

. . Gimme your drink back pleaseNow

it was too late to call his daughter and share

                                               Can you believe this is a thing

shed get a kick out of it or

                            she might not know it was a thing which would be a kick

him actually ahead of the curve

2107,  Thursday,  6  2. 25

was nearlyperfect with the fire last he placed wood in the fireplace it was measured

the blaze had only gone on another twentyminutes after she went to bed

                                                                              he was in town she put him up

her daughter went to bed an hour earlier

it had been a long busy day traipsing here and there old neighbourhood old friends cemeteries dead family  friends

   closed it out with pizza beer 

                                   before the fire her wine his whiskey

her daughter surprised him  enjoyed whiskey

Redbreast! she said breathlessly

Youre familiar

I’ve only read about it.

it was his treat

he poked the fire a couple more timesspread ash put up the screen crossed back to the couch where he was sacking it out

a paleblue moonlightheightened by fresh snow outside the window wafted across the floor embraced him on the couch

   he thoughthe knew  he was in his element again

an element he did not treat himself too often

otherwise

             wasnt a treat

the coals crackled occasionallyPOPped

Hey.  Hey are you awake?

lying on his backopened his eyes  Yes

I can’t sleep.

              she reminded him of his kids coming into the bedroom I can’t sleep. he told them to go back to bed hed be right there put on shorts laid beside them rubbed their butts listened to their breathing they rarely made ten minutes out like a light

               he was tempted

she shortcircuited him

                        said again she couldnt sleep stepped nearer the couch

her pajama bottoms fell as if weighted

                                          Give me your hand.

held it up she took it put it between her legs

                                                I’m wet.

My Mom told me you used to rub your children’s butts to put them to sleep. I was wondering what I could rubwhat you could rub . . to help us . sleep.

Sleep he thought was the farthest thing from either of their minds

                                                                        his imp imagined before he did

in the morning

                 Did you sleep well last night?

overnight,  Wednesday,  5  2. 25

1337,  Thursday,  6  2. 25

Look who finally comes walking in. she was the only one in the room

                                                                              coming into the kitchen through the back porch door beginning to shut it hearing her he casted an errant glance over his shoulder said Speak of the Devil

   You’re home again?

Have I missed any of my obligations

he hadnt

          which only emphasised his absencehis not being at her beck and callshe could do either with the best of them but a sibling would have to perform them when she rather he did

You look like the Wreck of the Hesperu . .

. . Been on the move roving

                             As Dad says Hard to hit a moving target

Where have you been?

Around

Where’s around?

he wasnt in the mood any more than she was he turned in a complete circle

                                                                                 Been around

Do you have to be so . so . . . SO?

I do

You’ve younger brothers and sisters who’l . .

. . Learn from my example meet your obligations an theres nothinreally Mom can complain about lest she complainin for complainings sake

                    Which you cantwont tolerate out of the mouths of your babes

Wha does it get ya

Am I right

she didnt care when he was right

                                    Why are you talking to me in this way?

Why are you complaining I not do something you hadnt asked me to do

What?

Something I didnt do you asked me to

  No.  But aside from your chores you’re not around.

You miss me  he smiled  let the subtlevenom subside

                                                          You miss me charmin youfraid Ill charm the pants off someone

Get knockedup Thall be the day

The day I get knockedup will be a day I actually want to be an it a longlong way off

You miss me

Id rather you say  Look wha the cat dragged in

                                                   We havent a cat I coud get you one I can get my hands on lots pussy  cats

Would you stop? STOP.

                          she shed her crustydemeanor  smiled   Look what the cat dragged in.

Thas better

             he walked over to where she sat with a tea grabbed her by the shoulders kissed the back of her neckrubbed a threeday stubble at the side of her neck

giggling she ran her shoulders uphigh tried to crook her head stop him

                                                                           which was useless

sitting in the chair beside herelbows on the table a Nono

                                                                  Whasup baby  I miss you too

afternoon,  Monday,  3  2. 25

1450,  Thursday,  6  2. 25

Oh shit they blew it

                       they were asked to be part of a text chain among countless people that was the brainchild of a wellintended good friend of theirs

a friend they both wanted to bed

  :  :  Can you do this?  she asked

  :  :  I can he answered  You

  :  :  It will be problematic.

  :  :  Problematicsquared

she laughing  :  :  You’re good at writing. Are you on the prowl?

  :  :  It seems I am even when Im not

  :  :  What? You didn’t stalk me? he imagined her laughing gayly cherished her dimples

  :  :  We were mutual

  :  :  Insanely so.

 

in theirsilence they were at each other again that first time  eight hours   afterwards he made waffles

 

  :  :  Yes

 

 

they blew it

he eventually texted personally  :  :  Sorry Was getting laid  Forgive me

likewise she texted  :  :  I am terribly sorry, I started a movie and nodded off. Let’s meet. Make it a date. I’ll make it up to you.

I think you know what I mean.

she didnt write him back

                           wrote her  :  :  I think you know what it means when you feel no one’s there . . . you make me feel that you’re only one there.

Yes.

 

she wrote him

he wrote her

they admitted it

she copied and sent him what she wrote her

  :  :  Aw thats awfully romantic

  :  :  Isn’t it? I think we’re forgiven.

  :  :  You are

Favor

  :  :  What?

  :  :  Give her an extra lickin for me

 

 

  :  :  I laughed. Dropped the phone.

I’ll let her know you said but since you’re better at it I’ll let her know you owe her one.

  :  :  Or two or three  She can be a greedy bitchparticularly  when owed

  :  :  Amen, brother.  Amen.

overnight,  Thursday,  6  2. 25

1228,  Thursday

looked up   exasperated Not you again.

Look it you still here  Related to Prometheus

ignoring the remark  How did you end up back here?you don’t believe in reincarnation.

I didnt I don

But your back.

I am  Obviously

                  I believe the term rather than reincarnation  is   reincarceration

What did you do?

Lived Ever occur to you that all the souls you believe you’ve been reincarnating aren’t?

his agedface twisted  ugly informedsmirk

                                            OUCHhuh  Life sentences

As they say in the Twentyfirst Centurywhich I just left REBOOT

                                                                      Or as I like to say

Kicked to the curb

Im reincarcerated

   So step aside you know how this goes

Maybe I don’t.

If I remember you remember or Ill remind you

                                                Everything topshelf  Returned to a white family

Say   Whashall I call you

                             Last we met we were sure we werent friends an we woudnt meet again

You can say that again. saw him draw a breath to be a pain in the ass  Rhetorical.

Again Name   Because apparently well be seeing each other time an time an time again

                                                                                               Jeeves

Don’t be crass.

   Crass

           Take a quick peek in a mirror youll see crass in-person 

Call me what you will, I’ll have forgotten once you’re off.

Then  Jeeves

                Long memory I wont forget an Ill remind you just to irritate ya

You’re holding up the line.

Topshelf packed up

It is. handed him a wafer   You have to let it melt . .

. . In my mouth don chew I remember

                                         Thanks Jeeves  Catcha next lap

Which, whenever, will be too soon.

I love you too

overnight,  Thursday,  6  2. 25

1119,  Thursday