she said  she was something

                               Excuse me?

Me

    You. I’m looking, talking, right at you.

Havent the whole night Twice Ive tried to say hello but you were involved in other conversatio . .

. . Not to my likings; I try to not be rude to men.

Perhaps three time’s a charm.

Or a strike out

                she laughed same music hed been hearing all night across rooms  behind him after he entered

he entered

             smiled mischieviously  Have you been following me

Oh look at you, not as thick as you appear.

Saynow

           A compliment or not

Take it, it is.

               I excused myself.  It’s late.

I wonder if you might walk me to my car. You see  she lit a cigarette  I’m very appealing to the opposite sex and throughout the party they have continually been making untoward advances that I’ve repelled. I believe because I’m here unaccompanied they’ve made poor assumptions.

    They’re incorrigible.

                          she blew a plume of smoke to the ceiling smiled pleasantly at him

Youd like me be your knight in shining armour

Night.  Possibly.

                  I’m concerned I’ve angered severaldismissed them curtly, saw their dirty looks; under the cover of darkness I may be attacked, or raped.

she was something

                    from a lesser woman her remark would have been ludicrous  she didnt strike him that way

    You want me to take you  he hesitated  to your car

she smiled real big  exposed pearly canines behind her full red lips Would you?

                                                                                               he got lost

maybe her teeth did that to him

Woud I

          Wha

seeing his expression she laughed

                                     Yes.  Take me.

he chuckledsaid Yaknow I like where this conversation has gone  so finish your cigarette an Ill just enjoy where I am

    No harm no foul

Wherever this goes cant compete with where I am right now

 

seemed a blur

               woke in nighttwisted sheets like binds her breasts on his thigh face on his belly hand on his chest crazyhair   was looking up at him

                                     hard bright eyes

Good morning.

cleared his throat Mornin

gently kissed his belly looked up at him again  looked at his erection Good morning.

                                                                                         chuckled  took him in her mouth

Wednesday,  15  11. 06

1012,  day-between-2-Ts,  27  11. 24

the WORD

    reading the Bible is/should be personal – ONE – reading

not a fixed lesson

                     or dogma

 Dog  Ma

Fetch bitch!

                Is that your religion?

Friday,  15  12. 06

1544,  2sday,  26  11. 24

primal scream

                  he heard it in Coltranes sax

Lennons Plastic Ono Band

Marianne Faithfuls Why D’ya Do It?

                                       heard it in a scarcelytempered babe jilted lovers parents confounded by a failing schoolaged child a small dog whose bone was taken by a bigger dog

he hears a primal scream in the silent terse composure of a control freak

   Why

Why D’ya walked dogs that shit on sidewalks

Why D’ya

           legally blind  wanted to hunt with lasersighted rifles

 

Why D’Ya mountaineers

                           who sought to emulate Sir Hilary Edmond Everetts ascent  yet demanded they be snatchedplucked from peaks if weather turned ugly or they were injured

Why D’ya

            dated a narcissist for three years and when things went sideways they couldnt understand what went wrong

Why ask why

    Why not ask  Why not

why shouldnt a walked dog shit on a sidewalk the blind hunt a mountaineer be saved a narcissist fuckover their partner

irritants need to be assuaged

                                need pink cool calamine lotion to soothe their rash  need a stiff shot of liquor to disguise the taste of bile in their mouth

he couldnt give a flyingfuck

                              he was working in an unreinforced masonry building

was the rage in California

if it came down so be it

hadnt in seventy years 

 

Friday,  15  12. 06

1820,  2sday,  26  11. 24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmK3PYQnGg

a small hand holding a green stick reached inside the firering and stirred the gray embers  flushed a cautious yellow flame of sensationssinsations

                                 it gently laid dried moss kindling gently teepeed split white oak and like fresh bloodflow returning to a reattached limb  gray flesh turned pink  its cold radiated with warmth  a drumbeat again  heart pulsing

apricotcoloured fusion of the sun soon rising above the dark plumcoloured east hills  reddening to orange  then loosened  the spy  the first whitespike of sunlight

    sensations

sinsations

she makes me remember the bray of sex  rutting   wantonness

                                                                    the slapping  collision  merging   fleshforging  breathlessness  GASP

exhaustion defeating the body

                                 while the delirious brain ever desirous  ever a junkie  ever unsatisfied goads more  more   more

    their bodies fail it

their brains sullen

                   impatience

have to w a  i   t

    sensations

sinsations

             rejuvenating

their bodies sift together

gently they sleep  twitch

                         cling   pungent

the only way their sex could have been better

                                                  would have been if they were in love

trying for a baby

Wednesday inside Starbucks,  6  12. 06

1247,  2sday,  26  11. 24

Shins Sushi

Hallie couldnt come out

theatre on the same block was playing Taxi Driver   time travel hadnt seen it on the big screen since college

her loss

had her in mind for a Taxi ride

said she had to work late

    the fortune in the whole of his disappointment was that hed taken this ride once before and was anxious if it would stop him off where last hed seen it in different city  different state

Wasnt a reach for him he thought

                                     he was susceptible to time travel

rode on sunrays moonbeams on the rush of wind over reefs crowns of crowded trees on scents lingering  in the grass

on the spastic flutter of eroding memories

Hallie

        it would have been wonderful to share it with her  hed keep that thought   maybe one day 

   in the meantime

                       he hovered at the sleek haunches of a shaggy hawk in thin airHOWLed at its suddendescent  magnificent  one with its freefall roar   its brightblood midair kill

Times ride often left him in familiar places no matter the pleasure or distressconsequence of his remembrance or reminding

           he was so thrilled expectant of Taxi Driver

hopeful

          some other time share the sensation with Hallie

    again? 

Tuesday nite,  5  12. 06

1150,  2sday,  26  11. 24

he thought

              Not to knock it  its a good saying

heldup his hand to bar the sun from his eyes

                                                   Haste makes waste

though not necessarily true

his dear friends Jeff  Jeanine

 

both terribly accomplished terribly wealthy

                                              exceptionally generous

he was a beneficiary a confidante

                                      never turned a blind eye or held his tongue

he was peoplenot obliquely believed he risked their patronage  was their rabid truthteller pulled no punches withheld no outrageous language cunts to assuage their highbrow gilded ways

often attacked their society

    Jeff

         You really ought come out play eighteen with me to better understan . .

. . Your society sounded like he spat

Really Joe, need to be so brusque?

Yah Jeff

         Penetrates your ears your brain better than me being namby-pamby like many of your cohorts concerned not to offend youyour sensibilities

I tell it like it is

 

Haste makes death

Jeff was involved in a horrific auto accident leaving the country club after two eighteen hole rounds of golf with business partners assorted well-heeled constituents  exhaustive negotiations

Jeanine called him

                     Joe. Jeff . .

. . I heard on the news in route to the hospital  Sit downbabe don drive youre beside yourself Ill call as soon as I shakedown a doctor

I can’t. 

Jeanine  Stay put please

                             Please Jeanine

I can’t. she hungup

Jeff was DOA massive head injuries

                                           Jesus

he hoped Jeanine thought betterstayed home he called the house no answer called her cell went to voice mail

Jeanine  Call me

she didnt

she didnt arrive at the hospital

he went to their place

was on their Security list

front door was locked

smashed a window

                     Jeanine  hungup on the railinghalfway down their magnificent curved marble staircase

her blood cascaded down the steps

                                     puddled  in the foyer

 

after the reading of their wills a number of family friends were upset they didnt get enough

several commiserating  were on the large thirdfloor balcony overlooking the grounds behind the house

he stood inside the threshold overhear a kid bitch  kids father stood at his shoulder 

Hey fuck he roared Wanna shut your piehole Yacant Ill come out there an knock the hell out of ya

his father muttered  Over my dead body.

Got a gun

            dropped him with a single punch

kid didnt rush in

no  of course not

                   called the police from his cell

by the time they arrived he was gone

                                        no onewisely  tried to delay him

Jeff and Jeanine left him their place in Vanuatu

they had deep affections for it

                                 shared it together  many trysts

 

0317,  2sday,  26  11. 24

1013,  2sday

was thinking his head leaning against a sunwarmed bus window on his ride home

    . . . only way their sex could be better was if they were in love

could hear her Whadaya mean by that?  wideeyed blinking as she said

The fortune cookie  Recall

                             Straight forward an honest

We were making love.  blinking again

he was having sex she was making love

    then . . . had he lied to herNO

was she lying to herself

We're lovers.

    Lovers  Pleasant for sexers

Sexers?

Straight forward  Honest

Really?  Sexers?

Yes

You're a sexer?

You werent

wideeyed  You'd say you were a sexer?

I can I was

             If I hadnt I woudnt have provoked youprompted  you  to call me your lover

There’s a difference.  blinks

   Yes

          Whadid your fortune say

Mine?

Yah

Said . . you’re full of shit.

It said I was

YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT!

Nah Not me

               Tha was a lousy fortune shoud have said wed have gotten you another

Thawas an expensive dinner

For Chinese

Thursday,  7  12. 06

2025,  Monday,  25  11. 24

Bobby Ford

friends

    you make them

you lose them

a few you make love to

some you fight

    other friends are made

but few are the friends you give your back to

                                                 or they to you

who know you

                or that deepest you youll allow   because

the deepest you allow  belongs to you

    days rise

one at a time they die

                         steal away bits of your heart

but you gave themyou  

                         parceled it out

so when the last is gone

                           if you have survived them

you have remnant sparks that keep firing

like a quiet candle flame on the stub of a once proud young taper

seems theres a last friend who remembershelps  keep the others alive

                                                                              anif that survivor

is capable

           he or she will inject them into the minds of others who  unwittingly  will keep those friends alive after theyve died

   we steal scraps of our lives  piece them together   like an illfashioned comfortable quilt worn over our shoulders

they wear too

the Art of our lives become redpurpled black embers of a stubborn fire  occasionally burstingflickering   warming

                    someones mind . . .

Tuesday,  21  11. 06

1438,  Monday,  25  11. 24

Coloured people intrigued him

his intrigue is this

   to a Black man everyone else is coloured

   to an Asian everyone else is coloured

   to First People everyone else is coloured

   to a Hispanic everyone else is coloured

   to an Indigenous person everyone else is coloured

   to a White man everyone else is coloured

for some absurd reason America needs race asif one will win out in the end

                                                                                well be Mixed

he can do without the abuse of race abuse of ones sex

                                                          he sees only people

everyone  their distinct separate stories

were awash in truth and fiction and wholesale lies that havent even been scratched yet

    and he has itches

Saturday,  2  12. 06

1201,  Monday,  25  11. 24

he says write  W R I T E  or  rite  R I T E

                                              confuses others has to confirm what he means

truth of the matter is that long ago he dropped the W

when he picksup his red Mediumpoint BIC pen to rite letters all hell breaks loose

                                                                                     all bets are off

he steps aside as an interloper mediator medium lets the grease flow has no intentions of getting his feet dirty pant legs soiled as Volumes splash unimpededfollow  the paths of least resistance

    Out

           the rite looks like text madeup challenging Jackson Pollock abstracts

in there somewhere  some sense

                                     but

the recipient must be willing to sort through the mire and gore slipoff their shoes rollup their pant legs shirt sleeves blouse sleeves

                   probably best

get naked

           best to sort unimpeded by fabric that will cloak raw nerve endings recoiling from reading bones scattered on the earth reading innards of sacrificed animals like once ancient Roman Vestal Virgins did whose virginity had nothing to do with their sexuality

    he rites braves its outcome spelled O U T C U M   he witnesses remarkable utterings that otherwise might have been muttered under his breath

                                   and lost . . .

riting isnt for the faint of heart isnt for someone easily embarrassed by what flows unimpeded out of the pen

riting is for someone who prefers Lifes sheer black an white the whitest black blackest white withoutNO  wit out

wit out beginning or end

    his pen accusescries

                            You put me up to this

  

Saturday,  2  12. 06

1040,  Monday,  25  11. 24

Cream  Tales of Brave Ulysses  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRSbjpXZYEA

after a sumptuous meal of food he struggled to pronounce and ate with chopsticks

    he earned a cookie

                              slightly tanned slightly open  as inviting as a vanilla woman

laid beside the bill

begging his hand

he picked it up

inhaled its scent

                     the passionate scent of a vanilla woman

gently pried it  gently

brittle

       it snaps open

then savoring before eating

he read the freed fortune

                             finally 

words he doesnt struggle to pronounce

                                           You have the reputation . . .  Nuts yet again his reputation getting picked on

his date asked What’s your fortune?

                                        if quick he would have said You are 

My fortune

she purses her lips theyre fetching 

I  I have the reputation for being . . .

                                          he dangles it deliciously

sips his green tea swishes the warm vanilla body part he nibbled  its tucked to his cheek   and swallows

Yes. Your reputation for being . . .  she inquires smiling   dimples

Straight forward and honest

    Hmmm.  Is that true?

he smiles sips more tea the vanilla cookie gone

                                                   Sure

Woudya care to catch a movie at my place

                                              the right Chinese Fortune shouldnt be wasted

he carries that fortune in his wallet

                                      right beside

one

     of several free yellow-coloured Banana slug rubbers he stuffed in his jacket pocket when he picked his daughter up from UC Santa Cruz health center where she worked

830PM-ish,  Saturday,  2  12. 06

1927,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

    the Fates asked Clotho The Spinner  Lachesis The Measurer Apportioner   Atropos The Unbending Inflexible One

they asked  Doncha wish you could talk to Gawd?

he tilted his head forwardbrought his hand to his chin hid his humourchuckle

                                                                                    he appreciated they used his lingo however complimentsflattery fell flat on their face when attempted on him

they werent foolinpersuadin him

                                     Nah  Too much talkinyappin gets in the way of doin

Chandogya Upanishad  You know itof course you do  Tat twam asi

                                                                         which he understood to mean Use your Death  Use your Life  William James translated it as  That Thou Art  “. . . that capacity to conceive the immersion of all thought in the ‘blooming, buzzing confusion’ of ‘pure experience’”

Taedium vitae state of extreme ennui weariness loathing of life  James said “My words are to deal only with the metaphysical which is peculiar to reflecting men.”

Chaplin “Life isn’t a meaning, but a desire.”

hed skip jump rope hold hands with any of them

                                                      Nah so there was no mistake Ive no interest in yakkin

You’re very certain?

                      between them they were spinninghandling someones life  were their words a threat

he didnt think so

apparently they understood

they implored him again Doncha wish?

he couldnt staunch his laugh 

                                  I apologise   No  I do not wish

for a moment they quit their workspied each other  turned their gaze on him

he didnt drop his eyes from theirs  his spine stiffened

                                                          there was no submission in him

    We understand. they uttered

Wha do ya understand

others may have been horrified

We  Understand

                   their expressionssneers veered towards Gorgon quality  another trio of godly sisters  Stheno Euryale Medusa

           but he did not turn to stone

Wednesday,  3  1. 06

1823,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

the will of black sleep

                        demands catatonic Sleep

he deniesunveils it

                     emits queer images defies physics liberates senses sensibilities morals  keenly unbinds unmoors pairs  drafts currents  revolutions counterclockwise akimbo bloodless bloody  humid arid monochromatic coloured

he defiles Sleep

                 drives a stake through its vampires heart gleefully stomps it like a puddle of mercury  broken thermometers

                    then patiently waits for the concave floor to reassemble its will to assault it again

he doesnt quibbleconfesses

                              Sleeps not inviolate  My spirit is strong

   his spirit incensesviolates black sleeps will

Tuesday,  15  5. 07

1210,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

William Empson in a review by Paul Alpers is quoted  “The feeling that life is essentially inadequate to the human spirit (because the spirit is tethered, anchored, in the stasis of living – its single form – “of standing?”), and yet that a good life must avoid saying so, is naturally at home with most versions of pastoral.”

“of standing”  position status reputation

pastoral  literature portraying an idealised version of country life

                                                                       triggered him to write didnt grapple with it  let it flow

human spirit

                 human spit human squirt humanid emission humidhuman emission

    I am, therefore I cum.

Tolstoi  “Art . . . is the one sphere in which human beings can assert their freedom from history.”  which means one doesnt have to look back over their shoulder    

Tuesday,  15  5. 07

0943,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

Tolstoi  What is Art?  https://home.csulb.edu/~jvancamp/361r14.html