2.9.24

woke

went to wash his face in the basin
                                     in his head Wha the hell   Spider slaughter
head responded  Really

Ah Inappropriate   Incorrect

Aye Thank you

Spider dismemberment

Right on Thas accurate
                          More precise

legs were scattered on the counter

at first glance he thought them plucked eyebrows
                                                     but his were no longer dark

Think how many times have we come acrossem while theyre still twitching

A lot Cats
            But weve always had cats
Yah
      But only recently have the cats been yours

Youre referring to the indoor cats

Wouldnt find spider legs outdoors   Woudya

You giving me a reprieve

Your sorry ass just wokeup
                             Youre uselessworthless until youre onto a second cup of coffee
Awman  tha soundssmells so good
he turned to leave

    Whereya goin
Make coffee
Face first
           Wipe up those legs first

Dismembered

Indubitably


    coffee was compelling him more than mariachi

1142,  Monday – Labour Day,  2  9. 24


was reading Blues People

   saw  he said  You really like black people.

I like all people I don stigmatise them with adjectivesdescriptors

You’d like to be black.

Nowhere near as much as you like being whitey
Yawanna watch your mouth.

Oh Ouch
           Cutting too close to the bone brother
he had told him he watched Judas and the Black Saint a third time  was about Fred Hampton the Black Panthers Chicago  Hampton ratted out  murdered by police as he laid in his bed   Assassinated
                                                                                             he lived in Chicago at the time
told him whitey needs to go away

Fuck you. Whatever. He they us, choose your pronoun. He needs to evolve as does a large portion of humanity. It’s ethnicity and attitud . .
. . A black man with attitude didntdoesnt get far

Don’t give me that, I don’t want to hear it. It’s a matter of how you lead your life, integrity, attitude, they’re more specific, have more meaning.

This has nothing to do with ethnicity ethics I believe you meant ethics
                                                                          he chuckled  Im simply calling a spade a spade


Blues People  pg 174:  “. . . rhythm and blues . . . its very vulgarity assured its meaningful, emotional connection with people’s lives.”  pg 181:  “. . . the beboppers showed up to restore jazz, in some sense, to its original separateness . . . the willfully harsh, anti-assimilationist sound . . . fell on deaf or horrified ears.”
                                                                                     Amiri Baraka/LeRoi Jones
vulgarity
           vulgar  he was    served his purpose
a sensual a voluptuous vulgarist
                                   vulgar  1. “characterised by strong visual and tactile delights”
sensualist
            4. “obscene obseenobserved, indecent, offensive; coarse or bawdy”

humourously coarse and lewd
                          Thas me  By Gawd Madge thas me hats off to The Mothers  Live at Fillmore East ‘71

Saturday,  26  7. 08
1106,  Monday – Labor Day,  2  9. 24

Who are you?

he wasnt impressed
                        casually looked up from couch  was reading a third time his buddys Labor Day 2008 writing  his deceased   deceased     that was easier to admit than suicide  friend

Who are you? impatient stern

Bruces friend  You

I own this house.

You rented to Bruce
                     Now unless youve returned the balance of the year lease he paid in advancewhich you havent  the executor informed me  I believe youre required to give twentyfour hour notice before entering the premise
Is this notice
                Mister

glaring Dick Schmitts.
Mr Schmitts
                Im putting Bruces effects his possessions in order to remove them I expect Ill be a week  Perhaps a little longer

Apparently longer, considering you’re sittin’ on your ass.

    Well Dick
                  So be it

he grumbled something under his breath

Youll excuse me 

Dick turned abruptly and left

before returning to Labor Day he thought So Bruce thas Schmitts
                                                                          looked likedidnt act like a blonde crewcut Dick Shawn for some reason he imagined him leaning in sunlight then stepping awaystepping back into a smoky exhale of shade

had to shake that

it really wanted to continue
Bruce’s friend.

revery subsided

an old woman on the stoop
                             should have shut the door when Dick left but the fresh air coming through the screen door was delightful

Yes Im Joe

I’ve heard tell of you. Bruce spoke fondly.

he chuckled
              Youre Beverly
I am.

The next door neighbour  An actress now in seclusion

I am.

You have a crazy crystalline windchimed seashell sand dollar garden

I do. Bruce has said.

Bruce loved your assloved your evening chilled white wines enjoyed in warm mudbaths conversations in the cedar sauna in the pool  the musical waterfall

Yes. tears welled in her eyes she combatted them with a deep stalling  chuckle  it worked like hell to get out  He tell you of my gay friends, the boys, who tried so many times to pick him up?

he chuckled
             He did not

Then please, this evening, join me for dinner. I will tell you.

What may I bring?

Something for yourself to imbibe. You don’t strike me as a sweet white wine drinker.

Very observant

That was part of my trade.

0508,  Tuesday – day after Labor Day,  2  9. 08
0936,  Monday – Labour Day,  2  9. 24

1.9.24


A hoot
       read it once  came back to the first page asked Who the fucks Dick Schmitts

the name appeared at the top of a page a friend penned Labor Day 2008 Sep1


I’d been hiking up & up & ampersands were wickedly dashedslashed plus signs was beginning to tire

I was reserved, thoughtful, & not feeling social as I mounted a rise – steep – unable to see over the top until I pulled myself up onto it

It was flat, grassy, Grecian, a wide lip as if surrounding the mouth of an extinct volcano, misty, eyrie, the soil gravelly, deepbrown to black, lampblack, & warm

As I walked the gravel underfoot broke & became fine, dusty, aware. It ran up my feet & legs in an sincere embrace, & the more it gathered the heavier it became, every step a labor

It climbed, accumulated on my thighs & hips . . . & soon its weight & warmth drew me down dropped me to my belly . . . & the ground softened, occasionally belched . . . & I found that my exhaustion, lactic acid affecting my legs began evanesce under this luxurious, heavy warmth . . . & coalescing smooth-beaded gravel massaged me, kneading my muscles – million exquisite fingertips seeking, finding my hurt, unease, my exhaustion, invigorated me. I was renewed & whatever quiet angst I had carried up – the knots loosened, came undone, fell away

I forgot the trouble I harboured . . . a high tide had risen, washed away the refuse, the choking flotsam when it retreated

I laid, lounged on this queer earth, held clots to my face, relished its effervescence on my jaw & brow, the bridge of my nose, it massaged my eyelids . . . phosphenes formed beautiful angels, spun wild kaleidoscopic patterns

& I reveled

& I felt up

Standing, I walked forward, intrigued by the sound of seeping water, walked, nose high, smelling cleanclear water

I found beyond, in a rise, a bank of earth, a shivering runlet, bubbling, that formed a cutaway & was filled, edged, with small-leaf green plants & when I brushed them with the backs of my fingers, they recoiled, tendrils, like mollusc tentacles, & following the runlet it led to a hooded hollow, a shallow pool deep in its gullet, where water seeped from its concave walls, dribbled, in other places, abbreviated waterfalls . . . it smelled organic, invigorating

I got to my knees, crawled, then onto my belly to enter its maw, there anointed by fresh Elysium water. I splashed, washed off the busy mask, the coat of anxious powder & as it slowly quit it formed soft mud like yogurt, then congealed into rounded gravel

When I was clean I reversed myself, crawled out, took to my feet, & walked out of the hollow into a queer flickering hue, a fretted, latticed, see-through vapour on which, in which, a male and female newscaster, seated side-by-side appeared. They gestured me & the image, the shot, began to drift towards me at the edge of the hollow. But before they were out of scene I gestured to them, shook my head no. “No news here,” I said. Wisely they diverted the camera

I went outside the hollow, scaled it, peered over the edge . . . perched above was a pool, bluemineral water, over it a stone platform

There was news

Working my way down, right, I saw another hollow birthing. Inside it was a black man and a black boy – his son?

It occurred to me that if hollows grew, they might reverse, could diminished themselves . . . become non-existent?  & a claustrophobic sense & dread filled me  & that hollow holding the man & boy ceased, then began to shrink, the invagination they were contained in closing up

the hollow I was outside of began to shiver

I lunged, pitched myself headlong from it to theirs, plunged my arm inside, yanked the boy from the man’s arms, hurled him onto the roiling gravel, slick mud

As the lip diminished, falling with it, the hollow filling with bizzing water, obscuring the man, I plucked his wrist before he utterly disappeared, yanked, threw myself, all my weight backwards for all I was worth & dragged the man out. Emerging he clawed at the hollow & he landed, collapsed, on top of me, his eyes wrestling terror, “My boy? My boy? I die, my boy be alone.”

“Boy’s safe. We’re fortunate.”

I pushing him off me. I stood. I didnt want a fusillade of thanks or tears . . .

NEXT.
         then I was in an apartment, a house . . . & the slender green small-leaf plant that ran along the edge of the quick runlet leading into the hollow were growing in terra cotta planters, extending thin trailers and spillers

They recognised me

Monday, Labor Day, to Tuesday, 2  9. 08
1507,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

    SHAME

https://www.timesofisrael.com/bodies-of-6-hostages-murdered-by-hamas-just-days-earlier-found-in-rafah-idf/

wannabe autocrat Benjamin Netanyahu doing his damnedest not to be tried in court for his alleged crimes like a notable American EX-president did not release a public statement

he was sick of these individuals who tout themselves leaders yet put themselves before the good of their nation  ahead of the People

1553,  Sunday,  1  9. 24


she was a fan of words another why they got along
                                                     lookingup from readinggrabbed the dictionary fingered through it
Oh man you got to hear this.

tipping the newspaperlooking over the top of it at her
                                                         I have to hear this
Quit would ya? You do it to me.

No I don say you have to  I just do

Which is a little rude.

It isnt a little rude Its rude
                              But thas me

she rolled her eyesshook her head
                                     What a piece of work.
You love me

    I put up with you.
                           I love you too.
Love to put up with me

Put up with you to love me. Friends with benefits.

That doesnt fly
                 Were long long past friends                          

I liked when we were.
                        That was so hot.

he acted hurt Hasnt cooled for me
                                       But my coffee hashows yours Top it off while I have to hear
she grinned
             Yes please.

I’m reading The Rigor of Angels. Kant.

I saw Kinda made me hard  Usually my fare

Your fare’s becoming mine. I’ve been picking up what you’ve been reading when you’re not around. You read some crazy stuff.

Woudnt read it otherwise
Thought provoking.
Wait till ya get your hands on my porn
                                          Youll touch yourself I have
Sheesh.

Thought for sure Id provoke a Jesus

I’ll provoke you.

Please
Would you listen?

he set her refreshed coffee beside her returned to his chair  Im listening

Thank you.
             Have you ever heard read this word before?

Out of Kants mouth

His writing mouth yes. Same yeah?

Same

Zetetic.

Again

Zetetic.

Again

Zete . . you yanking my leg?

Pronounciation yah but no haventI kant say Ive heard it before

Kant K say?

Sharp girl
            And hot
Whas it mean

Thank you. Zetetic . . means proceeding by inquiry . investigation.

Searching for

Yes. Adjective. Rare.   Says here the modern term would be skeptical, skepticism.

Rare  Black an blue  I like it
                               Tha a K or a C

You’re the only one I know who uses a C. A K. 
                                                 O K?
No  But you found wha I had to hear
                                        Thank you
You're welcome. I feel so proud.

Can I come over an feel it too
                               A long frenetic zesty zealous zetetic feel
she lookedsaw canines
                         Whoa. Stay Fido, stay.   Sit.

    If you’re good we can share a bone.

1814,  Thursday,  29  8. 24
1210,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

began indabath
                  a hot one

one to soothe his body
not to cleanse
               but water has a way of finding the path of least resistance punishes what it finds

think Grand Canyon

think granite rockfaces
                        slabs slivers of itself littering its feet

    cleansed
                  he had conceived ones lifetheir memories his  as an assembly of snapshots cobbled together lifescomputer ZEROES and ONES
                                     his conception
this evening
              oiled slicked lighted by a beeswax tealight candle
episodic not epicsodic

when occasioning with another that relationshipLIFE is a series of snapshots

when someone endures a relationship even at a remove as the majority of his LIFE has been snapshots dont cut it
theyre episodic

his mother his sister
                      telephone calls hours at a time oncetwice a week  years   Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 etc

when they died

their episodes ended
                       when relationships end boyfriendgirlfriendhusbandwifebrothersister employment  other family
common perhaps regrettable fact


he hung spun that thought until the heat left the water breeze through the window chilled him convinced him to empty the bath dry off
                 sent him to bed to read

where he found he was too distracted

he turned off the light

saw it in the dark
                   closed his eyes hand on his cock fell asleep

where dreamic episodes entertained him


LIFE is beginnings and endings of episodes

    hes learning

began 2100 indabath,  Saturday,  31  8. 24
0945,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

31.8.24


he fooled himself
                   just because she appeared little didnt mean she was young
she was little

and young


was in a pasture attending a horse how he scaled her

she hailed him  waved   waved him over

he started to climb the fence

leg over he paused
                        hed seenexperienced this scenario before he waved from the field
she waved  started    stopped

heldup an indexfinger

wagged it

climbed off the fence

kept walkingup the dirt road to the rented farmhouse where her family was staying

    he knew what he was thinking in the middle of that green hayfield

curiosity got the better of him always did

continuedjumped down off the fence  began walking towards her

she didnt get any bigger the closer he got
Christ
         a nymph
was it possible to pack that much cute onto such a small frame
                                                                   her voice  lyrical  matched the vessel
I’ve seen you before on the road a lot.

Stretchin my legs

Your . . . girlfriend? lives up the road.

Yes

I’ve seen her too, she’s beautiful.

he nodded Tha she is

You know . . . sometimes she sunbathes in the nudeI’ve seen.

Shes said
She’s seen me?
                  I’ve been quiet like a mouse.

No  Tha she sunbathes naked

Oh.
       I like her body.

I do toowhas this about  I thought yamight need help with the horse

No. I wanted to say hiya, hiya, meet you.

    Meet me

I’ve only seen you from afar.

So  whas this about

Her breasts are large.

Yes

Mine aren’t.

Maybe as you grow older they will  Lots to do with genetics

Look at mine.  she yanked her blouse open
And
      Im outa here
he turned on his heels
                          her tits remind him of the first girl he felt up she tugged his cock
he was a kid
wasnt now

Mister!  Wait!

    fat chance
beelined
            couldnt wait to tell his girlfriend she had an admirer

0627,  Thursday,  29  8. 24
1514,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

Where’d ya go?

Went waondering off in my headfigured ya woudnt mind

Could have left a note.

A note
       I didnt go anywhere note triggered Miller  “. . . composing music in the key of sassafras.”

You were in the basement. When I called you didn’t respond.

I wasnt listenin  I was gone

Why does nobody else I know, or ever have, except for you, are able to turn off their hearing?

They want to hear

Are you being funny?

You don seem humouredso  no
                                 Weve had this conversation before
We have.
           You could be courteou . .
. . Leave you a note
                      I’m downstairs.
Youd come down an interrupt me
    Correct

If it were important.

Important can wait

Do you hear yourself?

If I wantwhas important
                           Wha youd deem important is important
Then whaif it isnt to me
                                                 An youve interrupted me  Im never gone long
Am I

    No.

This is an old house. You can hear me walking overhead floorboards creaks.

If I were listening
                       I was  Off

To address your question  Again

I grew up in a large family You know

Call it privacy

Call it selfsurvival

    Ill leave a note



1154,  Saturday,  31  8. 24
 
Maurice Blanchot  “. . . if writing is defining the unknown . . . it must always leave the unknown to be unknown, even though its purpose is the attempt to uncover and to disclose that unknown.”

In Louis Menards The Free World: Art and Thought in the Cold War he read “Literary language is figurative and polysemous.”

spirit of his frustrated psychologist rushed in 

used Jungs word association on him
                                       she was legit
apparently he wasnt
                       his associations crushed her 

though he did win his trial

her spirit raved POLYSEMOUS

he howled Cyclops

What?

Polyphemus

What?

Comon  Odysseus Odyssey Homer

    Yaoughta be happy ya held your tongue didnt chide me tried me its noun polysemy
                                                                                             Idve had to reveal something unseemly seamy creamy Campbells soup Cream of Cunt Cream of Semen topshelf stuff tasty upanaway where kids coudnt reachem in good time in plenty of time perhaps when older perhaps not  they became sophisticated  unlike me older I got I only got more curious no time for sophistication  fornicationYes sophisticYes  sophisticationOhno

polysemous
              have multiple meanings

triggered a runaway train


her spirit tucked tail and left
                               Hey
refused to look back
                  Hey  Don go away   Weve only just begun

she disappeared into the tall mirror at the end of the hallway
                                                                 couldnt begin to say how many spirits sought refuge in that mirror

his on occasion peeked outconfronted him

turned his back on him too many times to remember
                                                        Im talkin to you
flipped him the bird

evanesced
            Whard ya go

wished he could go like that

wondered where hed end up

2236,  2sday,  27  8. 24
1120,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

he said  La di dah
                           that was refreshing
couldnt say where it came from hadnt read it heard it or said it in forever

it was perfect for the moment

saw it register in his face
                              dissed
dismissed

eyes grew

wasnt used to being confronted

looked like he was going to spit

how vulgar


he was going to say it again   doubledown  unlike him
                                                      La di dah   La difuckin dah
smiled
         err  shouldnt have smiledshould have tried contrite  evenif insincere 

maybe said
               Hmmm


though wouldnt have brought him to his knees   huge order

ought to be


aggressive What did you say to me?

   Ya deaf
              You heard me

I did.  Clearly.


And what of it?

smirked
        Ah well

Oh well?

Like I said
           then hauled offkicked him in the balls so there was no mistaking was sure one testicle lodged in his gullet

2300ish,  Reggaefriday,  30  8. 24
0947,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

 ROE or NO

on Novembers ballot in 9 states

Montana

Nevada

South Dakota

Missouri

Florida

Colorado

Maryland

New York

Arizona

   then
OHbrutha
            have Republicans pushing fetal personhood

Zygote says . . .
                 NOTHING  its assembling cells

1439,  Saturday,  31  8. 24