Arya listening to yourself

I made a smart decision.

Yamade a decision Lets not get smart caught up in it

You didn’t see. You weren’t there.

I wasnt  But your description isnt compelling

                                                Fear your apparent fear was compelling By your own admission you said it was dark your saw their figures you coudntdidnt see their faces  expressio . .

. . I didn’t need to.

                     They were bad news.

So they werent white

No.

You said it was dark

                      Coudnt see their faces

I didn’t have to, I saw how they were carrying themselves.

Young men

Yes.

If young they were carrying themselves as a young man do  cocky  As you once did  Assured  Loose

You also assumed they were paying attention to youdespite unable to see their faces  at the distance they were

   They were probably carrying.

Carrying

Blad . .

. . WOW blades  Not knives    Possibly boxcutters

They were threatenin . .

. . You

Their manner was threatening.

Two young men walking at night

They walked like Neanderthals.

Tals  Neandertals

                    I suppose your genetic testing has provided you the ability to determine Neandertal in others

You weren’t there.

And you got into your nice car an fled

They were threatening.

Your fear threatened you friend

                                   Tacenda

What?

Goes without saying

                       However I had to

Smartly

1431,  Saturday,  1  6. 24

1012,  Sunday,  2  6. 24

The Smiths  How Soon Is Now  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33-5bsbQj-w

he and his father were talking on the telephone about the homedownhometown parades they went to when he was a boy

saw the Memorial Day parade had just happened

they each lived elsewhere now

Your community hold a parade

No.

Mine neither

              Brother Bobby texted me three pictures I send them onto Sis an she can share with you

I’d appreciate that, thank you.

Youre welcome  Nearly made me mistyeyed

                                               Good fuckin memoriesmeteorites  flashed through his mind  how quickly time passeshopefully  hopefully memories form congeal  become rockhard

his father gulped audibly didnt like fuck

                                          could hear the chorus of him and Maw when he uttered it in their company

You grew up better than that had a good education, why do you need to swear?

Because fuck runs the gamut of all emotions  happy sad angry elated

                                                                         Anwhile youre fuckin 

yad think that theyd know the cherry was coming for atop the fivescoop hotfudge whippedcream saltnuts bananasplit sundae

         Kids

I don find it to be swearing

eyes rolled chins slumped to their chests

                                             thats what parental surrender looks like

trying to make him feel bad

wasnt going to happen

now Dad didnt have Maw each the others sidekick each having the others back  love

she died

           she didnt keep her promise

he extorted her made her promise him one night when death solidified in his boys mindDEAD  and terrified him and not to have his parents horrified him

                                        made them both promise

Dad continued to keep his word

despite his heavy heart

   he got it

his wife died he hadnt exacted a promise from her

they were young

              FUCK

they were supposed to be immortal

Dad and he mused about all the parades they sawthey marched in Dad was often asked to serve in the Color Guard

he was American Legion  Auxiliary Secretary

he marched because of Cub Scouts Boy Scouts

Do you remembered the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile at the Halloween parades  Twice                                                                                                                                 Yah twice

I remember once.

Not twice

No son.

Hmm

       Made an impression on me then

Evidently.

Remember Medgar Evers

No.

Civil Rights leader Assassinated Born raised lived in Mississippi When he returned home after World War Tworeturning to his hometown because he refused to move to the back of the bus when the driver asked him when they arrived  the driver had a group of men board it anthey beat Evers senseless

                                                                                  He was in his Army uniform

No.

A veteran Like you  Though you served during Korea

I don’t remember him.

                           You have seventhousand dollars?

   No Not liquid

                 Why

You could buy a Wienermobile.

he chuckled

              Why woud I do tha

Then you could ask girls if they’d like to ride your big wiener.

   Fuck

1230,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

1250,  Saturday,  1  6. 24

Bachman-Turner Overdrive  Let It Ride  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTo9e5fgyNg

a member of the US Treasury press corp in his writing introduced him to burrata

                                                                                      he didnt know what that was

said it out loud

                was never ashamed of his ignorancenever afraid to ask the stupid question while those around him were as stupid as he                                                                                                                               but afraid to ask

since he was a kid

school

it was a struggle

                  he was grateful for weekend homework the ramifications if he hadnt finished it or if he had and did miserable with it  there were consequences beyond C grades

C  meant Common

                     aint a damn thing wrong with common when on occasion common exceeded expectations

loved those freakin moments

there were few

but they werent preciousfew

                               sometimes  he knew best in class

could almost hear his teachers heart pound in pride

for his success

                  hers

burrata

           I don know what that is

You don’t?

Donsound incredulous I admitted it

How do you not know?

How do you know

It’s cheese.

Call it cheese

For cryin’ out loud. 

                       It’s a particular kind of cheese. Delicious.

You often see me eating cheese

Hmm.  Now that I think of it.

                                   No. 

Why I don know

                  Things don pique my interest I don follow

Which is curious. You read all the time.

Ever see me read culinary books    Cookbooks

   No.

Wha do I read

Nonfiction.

An

History.

An

Science, Physics, scifi . .

. . Classics Hardboiled fiction private dicks

                                               Politics

Yes.

   You gonna tell me since you knowyaknow correct

I do.

Woudnt lie to me

Not knowingly.

No you woudnt

                 Inform me please

You know . . I probably know because I’m Italian.

A dago

        Yah I know

   Italian.

Dago Im a polack

                   Theres tha isnt there

   There’s that.

Carry me forth teach

                       Burrata I love the look of the word its pronounciation  Burrro  Bs Rs tickle my lips an tongue Damn sensual

Yathink Im ridiculous

No.

     I know you are.

Burrata.

Yah

Italian cow’s milk cheese made from mozzarella . . . you know?

Pizza

Yes.  And cream. The outer casing is solid cheese. Inside.  Inside is stracciatella I’ll save you your I don’t know what that is . . . gelato . . you know?

I do

     Kinda ice cream   Inside cheese  Kinda strange place for ice cream

Not if you’ve had burrata.  In addition to the . . gelato . .

. . Stracciatella

                  Stick with the program keep an even course  Im learning  Stracciatella

Prefer saying burrata to it though

Doesn’t play with your lips and tongue?

Not really

             Youll excuse my interruption

No problem.

             In addition is also clotted cream.

Clotted cream Butter

Yes.

A casing of cheese filled with gelato an butter

                                                   Sounds decadent

Tastes decadent.

Something Im not

No.  You are not.

                   You’re ur. Rare earth.  Primal.

Me  Know chuckled

                       Thanks for saying so  Woudya do me a favour

What’s that?

Next time you enjoy burrata think of me

Because you won’t go looking for it.

I wont  Not keen on cheese

                             This is where youre supposed to say Tha leaves more for us

Which is apodeictic axiomatic

Apodeictic?

Selfevidently true

                   Me  Share  Two  Words

Virtually mean the same

0950,  Saturday,  1  6. 24

Classic

he sighed  Nope

                   Not at allnot for a sec a nanosec not subliminal in his eyes

ITSCREAMED

            BIGGER THAN LIFE

or maybe

           thats just him

ad appearedinterrupting his background music went from WORD to YouTube had 2 before he could SKIP hung the cursor Sword of Damocles glanced SKIPpedthought Youre really advertising your candy bar in that mannerWORD

                                                                                                                 but in 2 what hadnt occurred to him was what the candy bar wasJEEZ

he let it pick at him for a day

thought maybe itd fall in his lap again

impatience got the better of him

it was obviously a hazelnut

hed eaten plenty

held them between his index and thumb

broke them in half with his incisors

retrieving them  enjoyed looking at their splitness

became more   than a hazelnut

which made them taste that much better

   found it

           Lindt Classic Recipe Chocolate Whole Hazelnut

see if it doesnt look like tasty vagina

                              DUH

1546,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

1229,  Reggaefriday,  31  5. 24

https://www.lindtusa.com/classic-recipe-hazelnut-sticks-18-pc-case-859811

Christopher Cross  Ride Like The Wind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTWNPiRZooA

pricked

       slivered his brain which sounds painful but isnt the brain doesnt have nociceptors pain receptors

Legalish like English Legalese pricked him

                                              written or portrayed in a confusing articulate or complicated manner  obfuscation

inobvious

   when he read it he thought thatha cant be right

                                                      Urban Dictionary aah  but he liked it

because pricked legalish went vaporish and recondensed as licorice preferable black

                                                                                       anif that wasnt enough

reading furthur he read episodic

                                   madeup of separate especially loosely connected episodes

which witch also went vaporish and recondensed as epicsodomy

                                                                   who in their right mind wouldnt want to be in on that

prickly ideations

1700 & 2244,  Thursday,  14  12. 23

1124,  Reggaefriday,  31  5. 24

https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/pain/2021/why-doesnt-the-brain-have-nociceptors-020321#:~:text=While%20it%20may%20seem%20strange,an%20instrument%20during%20the%20procedure.

Ten Years After  I’d Love to Change the World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUGE8Y07-2k

triggered

            by manipulations

behind his back

he did not know how broad his back was until algorithms AI presence acted against him

Google CEO Sundar Pichai PickAI  “. . . hallucinations (are an) inherent feature . . . (and) still an unsolved problem of AI large language models (LLM)”

machine

hallucinations

triggered

            by a small notice in the lower righthand corner of his computer screen

                                                                                            * Create theme with AI

the mistaken belief that what people prefer  use  ought to be personalised  be a statement  a theme  regarding them

celebrity celebrate me

thinking about it

               pristine

came to mind

though immediately on its greenheels  pissstained

                                                         make your mark   mark your territory

   like a dog

slavish

hell leave that to those who prefer it  as long as they leave him alone

0920,  Reggaefriday,  31  5. 24

https://futurism.com/the-byte/ceo-google-ai-hallucinations

LLMs are trained on huge sets of data  hence large  theyre built specifically on machine learning  a type of neural network fashioned on brain called a transformer model

“Attention Is All You Need”  2017 paper

https://blogs.nvidia.com/blog/what-is-a-transformer-model/ 

GUILTY

hed stubbornly brayednailed his hat to the wall ABSOLUTELY

after verdict was reached family friends called him

                                                      Now.  Are you happy?

soberly

         Happy

happy had nothing to do with his ethical understanding his state of mind

                                                                              he replied  Long overdue  Donya think

Formers been delegitimized 

Witch Hunts over

                   We have the blue suit red tie witch dead to rights  Redhanded 

Burn Baby Burn

                   Brought it on himself

Ive been edified  Not thatha is necessary

                                               My ethics morals cannot be diminished

1410,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

2224,  Thursday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrczZzEQfQs

he was positivesure the words werent his

                                               although their sentiment  not lost on him

writers

         The name of some is lent to streets – Paris? – and boulevards, of others to gallows and almshouses.

Who wants to alter the world?

Let it rot, let it die, let it fade away!

he scribbled the words on a strip of paper he used as a bookmarker

it was keeping his place as he read John Addington Symonds The Autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini  1948  illustrated by Salvatore Dali

Cellini  a Sixteenth Century Florentine sculptor goldsmith writer

to be honest

              it was Dalis illustrations that encouragedimplored him to purchase the book

frankly it was a steal

                         he knew what he was getting

he stole

did he feel bad

he bought it last centurycouldnt remember

                                             but  NO

probably didnt

his mothers son

                  Don’t feel bad for them they made their bed, now they have to sleep in it.

sounds pitiless

it was

        probably the provocation that originally forced him to make his bed  mornings – before his fuckin paper route – 5AM – but it had become a source of habit comfort routine   not ruetine  regret

                                                                                       hed sleep with women

when they woke in the morning

he made their beds too

You gotta do it?

Yeah  I did you didnt I rhetorical  had scratches on his back to prove it if necessary

best thing about it then was fucking in the made bedtearing it up again

                                                                            like the bed begged for it

that was terribly possible nothing was inanimate to him

                                                            thanked his grinder for grinding his coffeebeans coffeemaker for making his coffee toaster for toasting his bread silicone garlic peeler for peeling

                                                                                         get the picture

he used themthanked them until the failed despite how ugly they became

                                                                              his inanimate car was 30  he thanked her whenever he drove stroked her dash her name was digger

she like he kept plugging along

when she ultimately fails as he would ultimately fail

                                                        they could be ditched

two inanimate objects 

   side by side

   Two Hangmen*

the words werent his

    

vintageSaturday,  6  3. 04

1221,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

Feist  Let It Die  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KoiYEoWImo

* Mason Proffit  Two Hangmen  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hk3eP0bO0zY

before going to sleep she muted her phonehe wouldnt disturb her he sent her texts wishing her various sweet dreams hopes for deep restorative sleep  I love you

                                         they were in a long distance relationship

not for the weak of heart or the Jealous

he had just returned home from a walk in the waningmoon a day past full it was yet huge

                                                                                                 he loved how his blackshadow was elastic stretchedetched ahead of him on the street  he wished he had his mothers eyes in the back of her headhis head so he could admire it as he walked into the moonlight

                                                                            thirsty

he drank from the glass pitcher of moonwater created the night before

                                                                        it enthused him

maybe not a good idea before bed

                                 found himself wanting to articulate a different good night

remembered it was knocked around when he was a kid yet again his mother  until the cows came homeYES went on-lineYES BINGO  found it in German Viehscheid

he texted  :  :  German  Viehscheid  I like the -ieh & -hei of it

Means, loosely, when the cows come home – Yes – Time for spac Polish for sleep  Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl

I love you

set the phone down

did his toiletry

began the washing machine for white noise

lying in bed eyes closed he remained humour by the –ieh –hei

                                                                   a desperate palindrome

which triggered Kennedys Ich bin ein Berliner June 26,1963 which triggered June 12, 1963s cowardly assassination of Medgar Evers Mississippi Civil Rights leader which told him he better shut the works down the cows came home

Go  to  sleep

I cant sleep Maw

Lay down. Shut your eyes. Go to sleep.  seemed harshWasnt

                                                                   she wanted time with Dad

they had eight kids

he was the eldest

he got it

          –ieh –hei  heeheehee

white noise swept him away

1234preferred to 0034,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

1104,  Thursday

The Ventures  Wiped Out  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaeB2s7LToc

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1t7OCESUw *

scalded himself

                 whell fuck  thadidnt go how he hoped

Wha a sucker

   Really

If you would have listened

To you mongrels

   To your mongrels  A little respect Mutt

Respect they humoured himwhy he hadnt evicted them  

                                                         Touche

Appreciate tha Thank you

Don thank me

                So many more of you have takenup refuge while I was abandoned  wrecked   a derelict

incredulous  Derelict

   Really disbelieving

Yawanna really really us

                            We can play rough too

Rough  Right on

                   The derelicts right on

Anyawere for all the right reasons

   Pity

Empathy

sometimes  better no words

2320,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

* Power Station  Some Like It Hot

Robert Palmer  Simply Irresistible  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoHpSY3IoAI     

Guns N’ Roses  Sweet Child O’ Mine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w7OgIMMRc4