and then theres real fear

                             which reacts asif blinkeredblinded  acts irrational

hed say immoral

I wouldn’t say that.

                      father defending his adult son

No  Whawoudya say

   I’d say . . I’d say he’s responding . emotionally.

Want to put a finer point on tha

                                    Ill give you the opportunity before I do

Opportunity?

Hes your son Youre being defensive for him

                                               Almost asif youre defending yourself  You raised him

You’re steppin . .

. . Out of line

               No  Hes an adult

My daughters are utterly responsible for their thoughts an actions an wha they think an do reflects on them not me

If they were to ask an I thought theyre full of shit I tell em

Yeah. Well.  You’re brutally honest.

As a parent ought be as any contemporary fellow adult ought to be

You overuse ough . .

. . Ya think it ought to be shoud

Should. Yes.

Which implies a subjective view

                                  Ought is objective  It recommends tha akin to law duty regulation

Know better

Ought to know better

You’re regimented that way.

Anal

      Look at you being emotional for me

Thasaid

          Wha about your son

Have a finer point

   No . .

. . Fear

He’s not . .

. . He is

          He acted wholly out of fear

Jesus man, it was a black widow spider.

Did it threaten him

He has kids . .

. . Was the spider in his house

He was defending . .

. . I told him Lets leave the spider be move our conversation into the backyard If it followed us in to attack us then he had REASON                                                  

   Fear

Plain an simple

I disagree.

You prefer euphemisms Enhanced interrogation not torture

                                                                 A spades a spade                            

1506,  Saturday,  4  5. 24

1622,  Sunday,  5  5. 24

No Fear huh

              an AMERICAN lifestyle clothing brand created in ’89

whose consumers were leading their parents around by the nose

young people

               WHO

lets say for arguments sake then  recognise they were junior high students likely grade school cohorts too say twelve to thirteen years old and as full of shit as twelve to thirteen year olds are

their eldest now are approximately 35

                                          spoonfed fat on NO FEAR

former strolls in in ’15 a crap television show preceding him

                                                               then the NO FEARers are twentysix 

anyet despite the Bush years theyre not political animals as he was in his youth 9/11 the catastrophic invasionoccupation of Iraq Neocons ongoing white evangelical racism & bullshite

                                                                                            theyre still at the tit of NO FEAR

bout time they learn FEAR

                               learn Republicans no longer a party havent their best interests at heart  learn that selfinterest powerlust are what motivates them

   Republican politicians know better

                                        but becoming an oligarch is just within reach

they can smell it

                      but so can he

so can he

1156,  Sunday, 5  5. 24

Scott Galloway  The Algebra of Wealth  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEC2Nq7Z6lc

US Destroying Young People’s Future  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEJ4hkpQW8E

Simon Sinek  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA

Anxious Generation  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcr0yg7Mvg8

You’ll love this I know you like words. While reading I read siliceous sinter.

   Good thing I was listening to you not just hearing your words

What?  Why would you say that?

Otherwise it woud have sounded like you were dissin my sister

                                                                  Antha woudnt stand no matter who you are

No one disses a mans womanfolk not Mammas babushka coicias not sisters or cousins Theyre off limits

What the hell are you talking about?

You said sinter

                 Sounded like sister

But I sai . .

. . I was listening

                    Siliceous sounded like salacious

You need to enunciate better donbe lazy when yare talkin to me

But you understood what I said.

   I did No matter  I coud easily have mistaken your words for salacious sinter sister sinner chert chippie riffin which  on a lighted marque   woud be a great name for a stripper

How the hell you can go from geology to sex . .

. . Rocks  Capeesh   You said not me

                                         Be grateful I listen when you talk

1506,  Saturday,  4  5. 24

1031,  Sunday,  5  5. 24

Gotta tellya  

              Beach Boys Woudnt It Be Nice  Friends theme   they sound similar to me

Wouldn’t It Be Nice  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Vv_dkDwZeQ

The Rembrandts  I’ll Be There For You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2TyVQGoCYo

Not to me.

You can recall them in your head  Both bubblegummy

                                                            Though youre a huge fan

I like bubblegum music?

Ya do

        Archies  Sugar Sugar  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwgbfriHWt8

Ive heard you hum it

    Have not.

Hesitated

              Ya do

So . . . so is there something wrong with that?

I didnt say tha

You’re implying.

Yare projecting

                 I made an observation  Nothing to get defensive about

Or a bug up your ass

                          We coud be married we coud be married  and then wed be happy

Woudnt it be nice

                     Married

Yare nice

folded his arms across his chest Why you picking on me?

he motioned bigemphatically with his hands Im not pickin on ya

                                                                  You were raised in California  Me Chicago   Motown

Big fuckin difference friend

There was.

There was

             Faggot he burst out laughing as outrage posted on his face  Yacant take a joke

Ya kill me

You’re not funny.

Yare easy to tease

                     Kindalike a chick thaway

Would you quit?

Its just you an me

Well . . . you’re offending me.

Thinskinned  Toughenup

                             My neighbourhood youd have been eatenup an spitout

Laugh at yourself 

OR

     Have a comeback a counterpunch  yaknow

1438,  2sday,  30  4. 24

1257,  Saturday,  4  5. 24

theyd been discussing a while

on occasion fraught  they were his fault

                                            he was brutally honest  she didnt want to hurt feelings

they heal

Is to

        now he was being lacksaidaisical lackadaisical

Is to  what?

Yagonna finish that? 

                       she was becoming irate again was exceptionally good at it

Is to

       Its tilde its grapheme if you will

Are you trying to piss me off? Speak English.

I am

      Theres a symbol which means is to  Such as  knowledge is to wisdom   as

   As?

Yah

What?

You fill in the wha

What the hell are you talking about?

Awright  Ill play first . .

. . You usually say first don’t you?

I do usually I do

                   I say so youre someones aware of where Im coming from

Less confrontational

Which you also do well.

Yah

Assertive.

I am yah

           Maybe now youd like to play first

   No. she looked dour

Awright Knowledge is to wisdom as genius or geniuses are to intellects or intellectuals

                                                                                            Yasee

You’re corresponding knowledge to genius and wisdom to intellect?

I am

I see.

Good

       Whadaya say

I . . I really got nothing.

   Nothing

             Something  please

Awright.

           As a screwdriver is to a Swiss Army knife.

A bit obscure

But you get it?

I do I do ya don have to explain

A Swiss Army knife has a screwdriver among other tools.

Yah

      I followed

I just wanted to make sure.

Satisfied

I am.

As a girlfriend is to a hooker or a hooker to a girlfriend

                                                         Depending on their considered attributes

Or a boyfriend to a piece of shit. drily

Attagrrl

         As the missionary position is to doggiestyle or anal or a blowjob

   Cat got your tongue

                         Not mine

No. Never yours.

                   Not ever.

Thank you

1454,  2sday,  30  4. 24

1144,  Saturday,  4  5. 24

tildes  https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/tildes/

six is to seven 6 7 as seven is to eight 7 8 as eight is to nine 8 9 as nine is to ten 9 10 anif he thought his cats would allow him to get away with nine is to ten hed have another thought coming they were hungry  and that thought happened to be condom root canal

but maybe he misunderstood

                                common root canal

NO

     when he thought that his dreaming mind went jetblack and then in whiteetched letters burned this in his eyes

CONDOM ROOT CANAL

                                             Got it  Buddy

when he started calling himself Buddy like Boss he knew he was in trouble with himself

Whastha mean

Not my problem  I shot from the hip

I think it went wide yamissed

I missed

              Really

Therestha

           We missed

Whawas our aim

Donknow I was asleep at the wheel

                                        Assumed then youre our autopilot

Im the entertainment portion of our flight

Into the beyondBeyond

Behold Children feast your eyes

                                   Isnt thawha Maw woud say

She did She was always right

I think it was   no  I believe    it was to quiet the gang down  See    Shut your mouths

Be silence

                Theres a lot to be said in silence

   Yes  It screams

 

 

six to seven,  Saturday,  4  5. 24

not only could he herd them  he could coax cats too coaxcats  phonaesthetic   Take tha Tolkien

   although he had to credit his state of mind while he nimbly herded an coaxed

                                                                                     he didnt perceive of them as cats

rather pussies

                pussy held sway 

he persuaded em pleased em pleasured em humoured em for as long as he kneweven as a boy

it seemedeven then he had an intrinsicerotic connection he recognised fewer an fewer boys around him they faded simmered disappeared out of his eyeshis sensibilities

he became wholly dedicated to girls  women

                                              who gave him knowing glances lusty glances

had they dropped their prudishnessempowered themselves hed have gotten laid far sooner than he did

                                                                                                              would have learned instruction far sooner

had they

          they would have saved him from stumbling his way along

not that he minded                  

                      stumbling

theres something to be said for innocence

                                            naiveté

he made damn sure he suspended naiveté until it became too pronounced to avoid

                                                                                       You really know what you’re doing.

he winked  wasnt good at coy

                               wasnt a coy boy phonaestheticBAM kicked Tolkien in the teeth sheesh yet another possible phonaesthetic

I confess

           I know wha Im doing  Cool

yanking on his hairhis ears Wouldya shaddup.

                                                  Keep doin’ what you’re doin’.

he did

their wish was his command

by this time well beyond juvenile competitions

                                                 he didnt recogniseSEE boys or men

he was blind to them

he was dedicated to pussy

                             he knelt before their widespreadgaping altar

and then some                   

344preferred,  Reggaefriday,  3  5. 24

Intruder

the third

Revenge is best when served cold

he kept waiting around for he-who-seeks-revenge to come and get it himself

   but hes a cunt

he sends idiots who think its their way to the top like it were some kind of corporation

911 may recognise his number

police had questionsnot his number they were welcome to ask

                                                                 he shrugged

Was an intruder I defended myself

three got mighty close

he got bad news earlier in the evening

foundcaught himself sighing

                               recognised thawasnt good  needed to relax   come down

lit a candle set it on the back of the toilet

ran a hot bath

dribbled lavender oil

tumbler of Irish at his shoulder

  in

     better

closed his eyes

watched pink quiver through his eyelids

silently pink went black

                            Thas not how it works

heard slipclick ligament

                         tendon

thought Can I help you was being facetiouseyes popped open

a genuine hobnail boot

apparently intended to put his head out like a cigarette butt

                                                             uncrossed his legsfeet to the tubshoved  back climbed the slantcaught the boot at the insolegripped it like a moray eelpushed up for all he was worthIntruder went over backwards

wasnt a dancer KRAKed his skull on the pot  not enough to kill him  grabbed a toweltossed it over his head yankedviolently neck snapped

                                 then blood came

1234preferred – 0034,  Reggaefriday,  3  5. 24

1135,  Reggaefriday

Coltrane  A Love Supreme  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll3CMgiUPuU

Whadi . . what did . . . what . . Christ get it out you heard me . . What did you just say?

Yaheard me

You didn’t mean it.

I woudnt have said it if I didnt mean it

                                           You know me better than tha

I have a hard tim . .

. . Youll just have to have a hard time then

You sounded pretty . . cold.

No

       Stated whats obvious to me

But I . .

. . You did  Thawas your choice we make our own choices you didnt ask I woudnt solicit

You were a big boy

Daresay ya learned your lesson . .

. . The hard way.

   Ah accountabilitys a bitch

She was a bitch.

You were the idiot Fourth husband   Cant imagine whayawere thinkin

                                                                            No  As a matter of fact I can  Yawerent thinkin

The Great White Wha . .

. . NO  You don get tha

                         Not the one tha got away thas meant as a thought experiment

Not to be actualised

You weren’t me in high school.

Tha a defence  High school

                              I definitely wasnt tha waters over the dam an long long gone  Fuckin high school

You werent even a tool in the shed

You got to be mean about it?

You had to be stupid bout it

                               Yah I gotta be mean  Keep tha shit to the forefront of your brain otherwise youre proneya proved youre prone

Idiot

Stop . would you?

Stopped

   You’re pretty cruel.

I prefer brutal brutally honest

                                   Anya know tha too

You said . .

. . Ya heard

   You said your marriage taught you didn’t believe in marriage.

Yes

Yes.

               You’re not going to elaborate.

   I did

But you had for all intents and purposes, that said, from the outside looking in, an awfully good marriage.

A great marriage

                  Though woudnt do it again shoudnt have the first time  Our relationship our love didnt need ceremony we didnt need to be legally bound

We were bound

A marriage celebrates . .

. . For others

               It was unnecessary

We knew it

We were cajoled

We relented

Ugly words

I did not know you then.

No you did not

Yours are harsh words.

No theyre not

I don’t know what to say.

Wasnt asking

               I made a statement

0844,  Reggaefriday,  3  5. 24

he called his parents

theyd know

in his childhood memories they were there

why wouldnt they know

his father conceded he had a lousy memory and adiosed

                                                             his memory wasnt poor 

he just didnt want to take the time

dumped the load at his mothers feet

Well Maw My memory fraudulent

   Give me a moment.

                        in that moment his mind continued to grind Ask if theyre Freudulent  Im not asking tha   You don think its clever   Its something but I donwanna take her off course if shes gonna take the time to remember wha I think I remember   Remember   Im conflicted it coud be memory or I may have fabricated or dreamed it  Its a toss of the dice yaknow   Yes I do Ill be quiet

                        Wish I coud  Not my bailiwick

Not one to stare at your bellybutton  Omphaloskepsis

Don showoff Shaddup

                            Thas a moment

You remember Maw

Yes. I do. 

             Your memory’s accuratewhich is a little troubling, or rather, remains troubling.

How

That you would remember.

But I didyah

You did an you have.

                         Do you have any idea how old you were?

Old enough to remember old enough for it to have made an impression upon me

You weren’t two.

   Two

Not two you weren’t two yet.  This is why your father does not participatewhich I know you recognized why he doesn’t take part in these conversations.

                                    You freak him out a bit.

he laughed

                Freak him out

Freak‘im out.

              You have to admit your memory is unusual.

No Its just my memory

   An something more.

                           her voice trailed off

You know I’m unwell.

I know wha you share

I’m unwell.

                An honestly . . . to remember . . exhausts me.

   I apologise

Not necessary, you and your apologies can’t say you’re sorrysorry doesn’t cut it it's too easy . lackadaisical.

Yah

Yes.  she sighed

                     What I want to say is is that every timemost every time you’ve asked us if you remembered correctly . or imagined it . . . or dreamed it . . . you remembered.

I’m having a hard time recalling.

                                        So please.

If that’s what you think . . you’re likely remembering correctly.  I can’t help any longer.

                                                                                             Okay baby?

he wished he was there with her

Okay baby was usually followed by her caressing of his cheek  smiling    a smile only mothers can form   

1755,  Monday,  22  4. 24

1011,  Thursday,  2  5. 24