wrong

Yah   Nah

            he put down the puzzle piece he was holding turned around from the table

Tha was wrong

                  Worse  I can see in your face you know it   A second time in as many weeks

She said she wasn’t up to it.

Then you shoudnt have gone

She had to make an appearance.

   Appearance

                    I coud laugh  Appearance  Horseshit    One doesnt make an appearance at a funeral or a memorial

That was her word.

Her word  For both you

I was there to support her.

Youre worse than she  You know better   Or rather I thought you woud

                                                                               Bein fuckin leadround by the nose man

I’m not . .

. . Pity  You are

                    I believe  believe   yaknow better    Arent lookin so proud now

What would you have had me do?

Whaya shoud have done

                            Not gone

he leaned over the kitchen table pickedup a puzzle piece   turned it in his fingers

Put the piece down

Why?

   Were not doing a puzzle now Were havin an unfortunate conversation

It wasn’t my decis . .

. . It was to take her  You scarcely knew the first anby cursory mention knew the second  You werent obligated

I made an obliga . .

. . To take her to attend services Not to avoid the ceremonies go for food an drink afterwards

                                                                                                   The occasions were to celebrate the deceased

I went to your nephews wedding I did not attend the reception

The party? You didn’t go to the celebration afterwards?

I did not

         Its been years Go ahead search your memory you wont see me therefrankly  I came up to youlast person the last I said goodbye to before I left

I don’t remember.

I do

Why did you do that?

The invite was for me It wasnt a one-plus   I went home to spend the evening with my girlfriend

You should have brought her.

She wasnt invited

Still, you should have brought her, there was plenty.

I saw She wasnt invited

                            I attended the wedding to show my respect Anif someone cant respect the ceremony they shouldnt attend the reception

A lot of people do.

Thas on them I woudnt think to disrespect a marriage

                                                            Nor woud I disrespect the memory of someone deceased

You disappoint the hell out of me

he set the puzzle piece back down on the table

he didnt try to make it fit

find its place

Im gonna go

              I hope you give your dismal failure some thought

1730ish,  Thursday,  14  3. 24

1051,  reggaefriday,  15  3. 24

Rodrigo Rodriguez  Together  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AAB2id5tPc

Aretha Franklin  (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman  he didnt think so  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cF0tf35Mbo

party conversation was slowing escaping like air from toy balloon cum from an unknotted rubber

Cant have tha he thought

                           mixed crowd several couples meandering singles hed open thingsup open the floor bet things would either become animated or blown asunder  hed like to be blown asunder

So anyone ever cockblocked Ive been   Anyone else

      chilly breeze

Arya a bunch of prudes

      some harrumphs some couples stood hastily and left

Anyone  Aside from me

Me.

      a cat at the back of the bunch sitting in a lawn chair turning a sweatbeaded drink on his palm

And

And I don’t think a soul can better my dismal experience.

Sounds like a gauntlets been thrown Im game   Whacha got

Zeke cockblocked me

Zeke

      He after the same girl

In a manner of speaking.

Jealous Competitive

You could say that.

My cockblocks turned on jealousies

                                       Not attractive

No.

You an Zeke go back years or a more recent acquaintance

Recent.

          He knew her before I did, we met recently.

Who introduced you

She did.

Had she been in . .

. . Was still in the relationship.

he smiled slyly

                 An open relationship   Was cockblocked once  Jealousy   Though I thought open meant open

It wasn’t an open relationship.

                                   Zeke was terribly jealous. It took him some time to warm up to me.

His affections werent returned

They were. As a matter of fact they were living together.

Living together

                  Im not sure cockblocked would be accurate

It’s . . accurate. 

                 She invited me to her bedroom.

Her bedroom They had separate bedrooms

I was lead to believe they did.

he held up his glass to him toasted Uisce beatha Irish Whiskey  Water of life

Water of life.

they sipped

You Irish?

Better Polish

he laughed

Thas better

             Was lookin like you were spiraling down going over the edge

   It was disappointing. I felt she could have turned him away turned him out.

Cold feet

      Cold feet?

They certainly came on quick, hot to trot hit the brakes.  I reeled.

You try to have a word with Zeke

We don’t speak the same language.

He a foreigner

   Danish.

             A Great Dane.

Zekes a dog

                 Yawere cockblocked by a dog

One for the books right?

Fuckyah   Im glad I brought up the subject NEXT

                                                        Humiliation

Fuck you.

Sorry man  have to cockblock ya

359preferred,  day-between-20-Ts,  6  3. 24

1208,  Thursday,  14  3. 24

a cowboy a redneck and a polack are standingwaiting in a grocery cashier line behind a Mexican

      sounds like the beginning of a joke doesnt it

the redneck points back to the cowboys waxed carton of organic milk on the conveyer belt

                                                                                               Organic, what’s that about?

There's no antibiotics in it, cows can’t be treated with 'em, trouble today is that we’re ingesting ‘em all the time, which isn’t good, we become immune, our health’s impaired.

polack in the lead nods

                         Got that right brother  And its delicious

redneck says When I was a kid milk came in a gallon glass container, yacould see the cream at the top, my mother used to pour it off for her and the old man's coffee.

Likewise said the polack

As a matter of fact my mom, frying bacon, would pour off the grease and save it to make pancakes, used it in all sorts of meals.

As my mother did an I still do Great to wilt mixup in dandelion greens unopened buds

We didn’t have Kleenex either, we, brothers and sisters, had handkerchiefs to blow our noses in.

polack went into his back pockets showed them the two he carried

                                                                       Hey man careful Dating yourself

cowboy asked where they grew upsounded like they grew up in similar surroundings he offered he was local  fifth generation

            redneck polack noddedhmmed  polack  Fifth generation  redneck  Homegrown.

Ever been out of California asked the polack

Why?

Only other fifth generation Ive ever met was in Montana Theyd never been out of Montana

No.

redneck offered he was raised Central Valley Wasco north northwest of Bakersfield

polack said Humboldt Park Chicago

                                      Queer though directing his remark to the redneck an urban polack would have so much in common with a redneck then directing his remark to the cowboy You Glass gallons of milk bacon fat offal  organmeats

shook his head said no

to the redneck Organs Liver kidneys heart tongue  Oxtail

Yup.

Mexican interrupted Me too, hombre.

polack turned forward to the Mexican I knew that Our diets are crazy similar

Migrants? I understand Polish were hired by Germans seasonally to pick their crops.

Correct My grandmothers did as a little girl before she came to America Im second generation American

Me too. said the Mexican

Fifth generation cowboy said the polack  Sounds like a claim to fame Kids

Kids and grandkids.

Crazy 

        Americas a melting pot

1430,  Sunday,  10  3. 24

1045,  Thursday,  14  3. 24

. . . Lovely

I told ya.

Cheeky too

She’s a pro . .

. . I cant afford

I’m affording.

Enjoy yourself

                   Havent  Ive no intentions now

Spoil yourself.

Not in my lane

Like your aversion to massages.

Look at you

             Gettin the message

standing on one bootleaning the small of his back against an upscale zinc bar top shelf liquors over his shoulder admiring their behinds in glass hed directed his attention solely to her

                                                                           Whas her name

Name?

        That’s no matter. She’s a pro.

John punctuating it  

head snappedhe sneered

Women have names

                      Also given the looks shes tossing this way I think   I think shes sweeter on me  Youll disappoint her   Her name

Im acknowledging her before I leave

   Youre something else.

                            Tricksy.

Gal looks clever

                  How she spell it

Really?

Why ya askin  Looks apparent to me

begrudgingly  T R I C K S Y.

See  Not a Beatrix Beatrice Patricia  Suits her 

                                                   Youll excuse me

he pushed off the bar made his way over to her table

                                                           Tricksy

she lifted her facelooked up at him

                                      animated eyeshadow

he was dying to ask her how she did that

didnt

       an as he didnt he mused embodied cognition  it was like him to duck out through side doors enter again through the rear exit or back in through the front  shaped by the state an capacities of the organism

Organism slipped his lips

Sorry. I didn’t catch you.

Excuse me cleared his throat as he thought orgasm  I said organism

   Organism. appeared that she wanted to toy with it but let it lay You’re a bit strange.

Youve no idea

                Tricksy  extending his hand  Im Joe

she took it

knew how to shake                                            

I was supposed to have been your date but Ive stuck you with lover boyo had no idea why he threw the O on

Boyo?

Ah  knew why

                Better than Bozo eh

she laughed gayly

when she subsided

                     I must say Ill probably regret this  But sighed yacant teach an old dog new tricks  she laughed again didnt cover her mouth  wished she did unabashed was appealing or change ones stripes

You don’t want to give it a go Joe?

   No   No

             Not tha Im not tempted Tricksy

I wanted to come overacknowledge you wish you a good evening

Thank you.

Youre welcome

                 he turnedwalked away  didnt look back

no need had shuffledstacked her inventory shed sneakup on him daunting daydreams when he least expected her

359preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  3. 24

2308,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  3. 24

Iron Butterfly  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfpn3wHoNGA

he had a way of determining how stoned he was

                                                      Obviously

either knowing the milligrams of edible he ingested

or pops off a one-hit bong

or by the ridiculousness of conversation 

                                           sparring with a friend

his friend was inclined to broach unique subjects

                                                   for instance

epizeuxis

           repetition of a word or a phrase in quick succession No, I’d never, never, never ever do that. in his experience with a little loving care cajoling jokingteasing she did

plyometrics

             couldnt just say Jump he followed  an exercise

brachioradialis

                 slackjawsurprised him he knew hed dissected cadavers

keeping elbows in fists up he hit back  Tolkiens phonaesthetic cellar door leftcross rightcross  hypnagogic hypnopompic hallucinations states immediately before falling asleep and waking alliterations occurrences of same letters or sounds of closely connected words Best you bring backup buddy Bs were too much fun

still ascending friend would begin calling them pseudointellectuals

                                                                       higher

real pseudointellectuals

just before tipping the scalesclimaxing careening down the other side

                                                                          apex apoplectic

self-congratulatory real pseudointellectuals

if they werent high it might have been humiliating

                                                     friend if he said would immediately disagree felt the word had a negative connotation 

hed chide Nah Honestly humility humbleness  see what he did there

   beyond that point 

blue slope skiing rest the way down maudlin mental exhaustion there had been more going off in his head than he could say or explain and times when he tried he swamped friend  couldnt keepupcouldnt keep his head above water 

  

1500,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  3. 24

1300,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  3. 24

Four More Years

exactly fuckinEXACTLY  four years ago

                                           the gutless rapist fraud

his decisions keep givingNAH  keep taking people from their family and friends

today 1,217,554 Americans have died from Trumpvirus 

2March 1,216,301 were dead 

11days 1,253 deaths

                           114 a day

while he runs for president after promising to be a dictator  runs to keep from going to prison

1,217,554 American deaths

                              which he takes no responsibility for

 

1847, day-between-2-Ts,  13  3. 24

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

he was scarcely awarefelt leftie stretch between his legswas up against his crotch felt her reachlong grip the quilt with the tines of her claw

   soon  shed get up

hed feel a chill seep her warmth dissipate from the depression her body made

Time to rise an shine hed ask

   not a bad way to wake

                             head and shoulders above those stretches of employment when he was wakened by an alarming clock

he had compassion for everyone whose ears were scalded

                                                                made him chuckled

he hoped somebodysomewhere had that compassion for him

his wife was lousy with alarms

itd bark

shed start

he silenced it

               wishing it had a throat he could strangle it by

   then gently hed stroke her shoulders her back Baby her  slowly rouse her

he set the ALARM early to buy her time to wake without duress of running late

hed help her out of bed get a full body hug a big kiss walked with his arm around her to the bathroom started a shower tumbled a towel her robe in the dryer for when she was out  made coffee  breakfast 

                                                                                          took her bags down to the car as she dressed

he waved to her until the car went around the corner

went back inside

set another ALARM to wake for work

                                       or went back to sleep because it was the weekend

he supposed it took those decades of work to earn leftie

0822,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  3. 24

Nilsson  Gotta Get Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jRh2PRa1tU

off the break he sank a solid and a stripe  was linedup on another solid

took it

chalked his cue left himself nicely

from the kitchen he heard his friend mutter

                                              heard like a bug buzzingtickling his ear 

   sounded  like he was rehearsing lines

                                             Don’t make the mistake of underestimating me.

Awman  Keep tha to yourself

Don’t make the mistake of underestimating me. 

Woudya shaddup

   cleared his throat Don’t you make the mistake of underestimating me.

he was gonna slap him

                         was replayingretreading to his overunderunderover estimations

a fools errand

wasnt confronting a worthy opponent

he worried being humiliated

                                 maybe  he erred he made the mistake of underestimating them

although

             humiliation

can be inspiring

                  certainly an incentive

hed invested in competition too long

                                       ME TARZAN

imagined shouldering a skeet shotgun  PULL

                                             knock tha swingin chimpman out of the air between vines

HE AINT NO TARZAN

So he said as he entered the room  I think I sound convincing.

   Excuse me  Wha

I sound convincing.

I didnt hear

             Still have the table  Yare striped Im solid

 

234preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  3. 24

1006,  day-between-2-Ts,  13  3. 24

Judas Priest  You’ve Got Another Thing Coming  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJMgveYdO-M

if he wasnt in some kind of state of agitation pain  FUCK

                                                         he wouldnt be who he was

wouldnt recognise himself

if he passed himself on the street

   had done it though

                          but rarely

didnt

        find the cut of his jib compelling

“What you regard as small, isolated incidents sets off a chain of events you could never have anticipated.”

                                                                                                                wasnt in his wheelhousedidnt have a strategy didnt worry logistics flew by the seat of his pants

hadnt let him down yetfigured  figured    when youre on a rollROLL muthafucker

                                                                                         governed by Newtons inertia

wouldnt let external forces fuck with his qi 

he could be a cunt with the best of em

                                         “You believe you’re making choices and all you’re doing is slotting in the pieces of a foreordained conclusion.”  Bruen  London Boulevard

1345,  2sday,  12  3. 24

2323,  2sday,  12  3. 24

Phoebe Bridgers  The Know the End  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQByi9IHiZo

Temptations  Papa Was A Rolling Stone  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLMOaiHUzHo

Killers  Mr. Brightside  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvIJyRkS9y0

Thas a poor choic . .

. . Oh bullshit excellent choice

                                 Rolls right off the tongue, try it.

No not tryin it You understand the purpose of a safe word

I do.

Fine Tell me wha you understand

It tells my partner I want to stop.

Stop

Yes.

Correct

           Know whaya did there

What I did.   What did I do?

Made a clear concise declaration

                                    Stop

One syllable

I think your wordwhile youre understandably enamoured an enthralled by it is lousy

Lousy? Think I couldn . .

. . I think an aggressive partner ya wont have time

                                                       You like itknowin you because most woud be in the dark therefore it only confers attention on you

My little craven friend

So you know it?

I do took human anatomy late freshman year 

On cadavers?

Of course

How?how’d you possibly get in? That’s reserved for first year med students.

Or for someone who knows someone

                                       I had a letter of recommendation High biology teacher Mr Demerest I prepared all his exhibits for three years  I was awfully good

Applicable when I worked two summers as a butcher

Thasaid

           Were getting off subject

Poor choice

In B D S M currency  bondage discipline sadism masochism D an S can also stand for dominance submission 

wearily shook his head  bored I know I know.

I despise acronyms hence my tarry glad youre up to speed

Current parlance safe words red full stop yellow too hard slow down green disregard my screams go harder

Note yellow  two syllables  capeesh thas also two Yawant short an sweet

Brachioradialis Five  Aint gonna cut it

                                          Wont impress your partner

You know so muc . .

. . Forearm muscle flexes it at the elbow enables pronation supination dependent on the position of the forearm

Im happy to share mine I bellow NO

   Think about it

                          Christ

234preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  3. 24

1156,  2sday,  12  3. 24

Zappa  Camarillo Brillo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkppN14ugMo

Muffin Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWQb_T9_nwA

The Torture Never Stops  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw_LpINt8lk