5.8.23


Wow yahavent thrown sapiosexual down in a long while

I haven’t.
          You remember what it means?
I think the better question is
                                Do you remember

Of course I do. I taught you.

Taught You mentioned it to me
                                  So tell me again

Are you hemming and hawing?

Are you

   Sapiosexual.
                   Give me a second. 

DONE

I meant more than a second.

Ya mean give me a minute

Yeah. Okay. A minute.

Give me your iPhone

Why?

I can time ya an therell be no interruptions as yare partial to them

You don’t need to actually time me.

You aint letting go of your phone Awright
                                               Ill countdown in my headGO
Just a second . .
. . Ya mean a second or a minute

Christ.
         Just don’t GO me.
Goad  Cool

Would you shaddup?

he motioned with his hand to him

Go?

he motioned again

Okay. 
          And . . Go.

Sixty in his head

You arent going to be able to keep this up

Fiftynine shush

Don shush me

Fiftyeight Please

Just don shush me

Sorry fiftyseven

Thank you

Yare welcome fiftysix

Whyd he bring up sapiosexual

Fiftyfive
          I said readings was harder fiftyfour than writing

Because of your computer . .
. . Fiftythree my malfunction

Wha

Ive no idea fiftytwo

Pissed off another Inanimate

Fiftyone yes

Luddite to the core

An fifty beyond

Whaof your reading I . .
. . Fortynine its harder . .
. . I stepped out
                  Harder than . .
. . Fortyeight

Than writing

Yes fortyseven

How

Seduction fortysix

Hmm Seduction How

Fortyfive books seduce me walkin fortyfour past Howya doin How fortythree you doin Joey

From TV Friends

Fortytwo yah a come on

Fortyone 
Don
     Stop it Im counting forty

Awright twenty seconds

Thirtynine

He doesnt remember

No thirtyeight

You really gonna give . .
. . Thirtyseven . .
. . Give him sixty seconds . .
. . Thirtysix no thirty

This is embarrassing thirty

Thirtyfive seconds yes

Whabout the books

Thirtyfour
Walter Payton
Good thirtythree Ill explain listen in thirtytwo

I will

Good don thirtyone want to explain twice

TIME                                             

   THAT wasn’t a minute.
It wasnt yaoughta know by now

It’s comin . .
. . Sexually attracted to intelligence
I knew that.

You didnt say

I didn’t I was having trouble shaking that image you put in my mind of the books on your shelves trying to seduce . .
. . Not tryin Were successful

How?
        Successful?

Ya listenin

Ya don have to remind me

Successfully seduced

How do you mean?

I pluck it off the shelf its wet an I fuck it against the wall

Jay-sus.

Arya kiddin me

Kind of funnyhuh Look Hes embarrassed

Hes blushing

He is
      Hes a bit of a prude

Cant participate in a menage a trois cuz cant do two things at once

Exactly

Jay-sus. You’re ridiculous.

Actually Im not Im a bibliofuck     

   A biblio . . sexual?

Ohlook at you gettin clever
                             Now the question will be can you remember wha a sapiosexual AN a bibliosexual are Good thing Im not a betting man  Thas two things an yare only good at one thing at a time

1621,  Twosday,  1  8. 23
1103,  Saturday,  5  8. 23
Voulez vous coucher avec moi? Do you want to sleep with me?   Sleep No  Id rather fuck you  Lady Marmalade  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQa7SvVCdZk


No  No youre wrong

scratching his head behind his ear I’m not, I hang on your every word.

Tha wasnt my word not wha came out of your mouth Anif ya think so I suggest you get your ears cleaned out because tha wasnt wha I said
                       I also don think youre clear understand its meaning Something may have misfired became disjointed ya swang wide  Ya couldntve meant immolate

I know what I meant.

Fine Please
                Define

It means to equal or exceed someone by acting like them.

By imitation

Imitation?

Ape Copy
           For example someone laughs gregariouslyattracts attention to themselves an another who recognises sees tha attention is paid copies the laugh

Like your kid brother?
Exactly
           Ive no idea where he picked it up Id already moved out of my parents house
Therefore imitate

Emulate

Synonyms

I said emulate
                 Immolate means destroy something by burning it

   Maybe I did hear you wrong.

Maybe

3ishness,  Twosday,  1  8. 23
0942,  Saturday, 5  8. 23
Lemon Pipers  Green Tambourine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGjvgvqOx7c

4.8.23

motion


Caged

watching through bars that are not there


furtive

without cloak or mask


padding

back n forth backnforth suspiciously


Suspicion

leaks from an unfound hole


Wise or a Waste

to Imagine

on the bus,  Reggaefriday,  18  3. 11
234preferred, Reggaefriday,  4  8. 23

pasSage


pasSing into the sun from inside
struck blind.

eyelids flutter
                moths frantic before a brilliant bulb
shadows etchedstitched.

gaspinggrappling

missing the unseen eyes watching their exit 
entrance.

their wistful witness

remembers
           their joyous rioting riotous joys
the desperate closing quiet

the gray insecurities of their unformed youth.

watching

jealously
            the day yawning unproposed
their senses unconstructed

sensuality breeds

breathes

bleeds
         their unreasonable confidence
seamless
            unintentional.

their eyes adjust.
                   they trigger their slight antennae 
flylines spiderwebs groping sensate
grabbingup gobblingup gobs

filter

sieve

hone their wheres and whats and whys.


the watcher  unaccused
                             drops their gaze
and turnsaway shotthrough with doubleaught memories   agape
yanked on acid
barbed hooks
                and across their backs they feel the twist and stab of provocations that fall unmet
unaroused
            away
a way
         each continuing in either direction.

1641,  Saturday,  12  3. 11
1030,  Reggaefriday,  4  8. 23
Spirit  Nothin’ to Hide  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17YuScyo9v4

3.8.23


So did you look up the word I texted you?

No I told you I wasnt since you already knew 
                                                  Then you didnt say
I wanted you to look it up.

Me  Im gonna guess it showed up on your Word a Day app on your cellphone

You think that’s where? I couldn’t have found it while I was reading? 

You don read anything thad have dithyramb written in it

You don’t know that.

Ahdon get butthurt Thinkbout it 
                                    I usually feed you books 
You’re so sure.


   Im absolutely sure

Nothing’s absolute.

Nothing

Nothing.

Did dithyramb showup on your cellphone app

hemmed and hawed

Did it

It did.

Thus an example of absolute thank you for playing

Goddammit.

Thank you for not lying
                           Because I woudnt have believed you So whadoes it mean

I’ll have to look it up on my phone. I forget.

Chant Dionysus  Enthusiastic

he looked at him cockeyed You look it up.

I didnt  I knew it

You knew? he was looking at his phone

Yes 
     Im a fan of Dionysus things tha celebrate him Bacchanalia  Greek Dionysia

   Goddammit.

Right

A wild choral hymn . .
. . Chant . ..
. . of Ancient Greece . . especially he eyeballed him especially one dedicated to Dionysus. A passionate or inflated . .
. . Enthused . .
. . speech or poem or other writing.

Correct

he shook his head Why would you know that?

I read
          Know wha Id like to hear

No. shaking his head I don’t know what you’d like to hear.

I’d like to hear someone sing he started snappin his fingersbobbin his head  I got dithyramb I got music I got my man Who coud ask for anything more 
                                            stopped leered like a hyena 
Jaysus.
Don know if he coud carry a tune I want me a real songbird to belt it out Dorothy Dandridge
                                                                                                 O brother

Oh brother?

Oyah  Ya got your phone look her up

1411,  Twosday,  1  8. 23
1234,  Thursday,  3  8. 23
Dorothy Dandridge  I Got Rhythm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1MFIHCzqoY
Spirit  I Got a Line on You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eOHu0rMqMI


Lemme see tha coin before you flip it

What?  You don’t trust me?

   I don trust anyone
                         Call it a tic a personality flaw

Alright. Take a look.
                      he handed him the coin

he looked on one side turned it   looked at the other   severely 
                                                                     handing it back  Thank you
What the hell?

Wha wha the hell

What are you looking for?

I believe its been minted anif it truly hasnt been it ought to be 
                                                                 I wanna see it first hand
First hand?  Minted? 
                       What are you looking for?

The coin coins 
                 Democracy on one side Autocracy on the other

4ishness,  Twosday,  1  8. 23
1349,  Thursday,  3  8. 23


Jeez. Uncomfortable question.  he pulled at his collar

Quit with the theatrics

You don’t think your question is . . ridiculous . untoward?

No Not given our conversation

they were discussing Darkness at Noon written by Arthur Koestler
                                                                       buddy cant resist an opportunity to go to his everpresent iPhone
Quit
     Put it down  I think I remember him, I just want to confirm . .
. . I can confirm whaya like to know   His wife’s name.   Now yare being a pain in the ass   You don’t know.   I don know her name we were discussing him   I know her name.   Good for you   You see then, how valuable . .
. . No  I understand its immediacy an how it compels an undergirds your impatience  If somethings important I can go home later an look it up on my PC

Later.

Yes Later

Do you want to know?

Her name

Yes.

No
   NoId rather you answer the question  Quit dancinround the maypole
An because I don pose questions I woudnt answer first so you understand where Im coming from  No one
                                                                                                                 You
I’m thinking.
                Cynthia, in case he caught the look he gave him in case you wanted to know.
Thank you


Still thinkin 
             Pretty much a kneejerk reflex reaction

Who would I leave with.

Correct

It’s kind of like you dance with the one who brought you.

I don know whatha is
                        I preferhave preferred  leave the dance with the one who brought you  I cant remember a dance I went to that I didnt dance with other women

Why would you do that?

My date  we danced with other peopleyare makin a face   Because you always only danced with the gal you brought

Don’t say it like that, only.

Virtually you said it  I only encapsulated the obvious 
                                                         No matter  Yawanna answer the question Whod you leave with

Double suicide.
Yes

   You ask strange questions.

1411,  Twosday,  1  8. 23
1059,  Thursday,  3  8. 23


there is protocol 
                 isnt there 
for every scrap of minutiae

that wrack the skulls 

split hairs

of attorneys  pitching fevered arguments 
debating
          baiting

pure  unadulterated  fantasies

protocol for adultery

protocol
         interrupted virginity
misplaced virginity
protocol

         for back alley blow jobs
protocol

         for an upscale four-figure finger


   Exceeding protocol: Bound. 

“Please enter your credit card number now.”

1457,  Friday,  11  3. 11
0944,  Thursday,  3  8. 23
Octopus Diver  Soul Healer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCeM_UpfwmA

2.8.23


   It’s all make believe, isn’t it? 
                                     Marilyn Monroe
suicides say the darnedest thing
                                  

Wiggle Room
              Lane Dean, Jr.  the character in David Foster Wallaces book The Pale King relates “It was the first time he contemplated suicide.”
                        comme ci comme ca like this like that

Wallace didnt leave himself any Wiggle Room

it was the final story he wrote
                               his wife discovered his body at their Claremont California home  he hung himself

12 September 2008

Wallace was 46


in his short story When I Look at a Strawberry, I Think of a Tongue Edouard Leve wrote The best day of my life may already be behind me.

he agreed to meet with his editor on 18 October 2007 regarding the publication of his proposed book
                                                                                                          Suicide
17 October 2007 he hung himself in his Parisian apartment

Leve was 42


in a creative frenzy Vincent Van Gogh painted more than 70 canvases in 70 days in Auvers-sur-Oise France

one oil in particular Wheat Fields Under Threatening Skies is suggested to have portend his suicide

La tristesse durera toujour. The sadness will never die. were his last words conveyed to his brother Theo as he lay in a bed at Auberge Ravoux after mortally wounding himself in the chest

Vincent died two days later  29 July 1890

he was 37


Marilyn

Americas blonde goddess

the story goes

It’s all make believe, isn’t it?

was suspected of a Nembutal overdose

or so Dr. Thomas Noguchi believed
                                      The Coroner to the Stars
he said  It’s folly to shrink in fear, if this is dying. For death looked lovely in her lovely face. quoting Italian Renaissance poet Petrarch

5 August 1962

she was 36 her psychiatrist Dr. Ralph Greenson insisted she was not suicidal


then theres Hunter S. Thompson

whose Gonzo journalism making himself the story was published in Rolling Stone The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved 
          was written under duress he insisted                                                       

he left in his typewriter centered on the page his last word 
                                                               counselor

while talking on the telephone to his wife Anita he shot himself in the head

his son Juan and grandson were in the house 
                                                had to wonder why hedidnt take himself out behind the woodshed instead
bad reception

20 February 2005  Aspen Colorado

Hunter was 67 
                he said That is seventeen years past fifty. Seventeen years more than I needed or wanted.


last but not least
                  earnestly Ernest Hemingway who President Kennedy remarked when learning of his death  . . . he almost single-handedly transformed . . . literature . . . For Whom the Bell Toll

leaving no suicide note his wife Mary made a statement  Mr. Hemingway accidently killed himself while cleaning his gun at 7:30 a.m. 
                   this after he discharged from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota after two months of treatment for hypertension

bad hypertension

2 July 1961  Ketchum Idaho 
                                 . . . clad in a robe and pajamas and was found in the foyer near the gun rack in his modern concrete home.

he was 61

 

Above is poetry.

Dramatic, poetic investment

in our Humanity

for the choice

between Living or Dying,

whether we have the right,

or that we should assume how others might feel about a suicide,

as they are often reviled for their diecisionreviled by those left behind.

A terrible determination by those who remain.


Look.  Very.  Hard.

Suicide is self-annihilation.

 

but if “It’s all make believe” then it should not raise anyones ire

we are either waking from a dream or our part in the play is ended and were onto a new part 
                                                                                                   perhaps our next consternation
                 a new part  or just the next part

Thursday,  17  3. 23
1540,  day-between-2-Ts,  2  8. 23
Murder by Death  End of the Line  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm1jiEWlyJk


inspired by an errorhe was often inspired
                                                      he made a lot of errors
though his mind tricked him
it did tricks
wasnt a prude
money didnt even have to be right

   it convinced him his errors were no more than him assimilating eros
                                                                             passion   physical desire
how could he not be subliminially tempted

his latest botch
                 writing 365 days of zeal and death
he wrote zealand death
                          missed a space 
though triggered new zeal land death
                                           Whawoud tha be    Brain
Don look to me Your eros

Youre continuously at tha reinforcing tha

I am If I don youll accept your errorseros an we certainlyI certainly cant have you doin tha
                                                                                                 Goebbels andon roll your eyesya know  If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

I don play follow the leader

Not his orange his fatty

No

Woud you have followed Churchill

Hypothetical Im loathed to play hypotheticals Were surrounded by plenty enough reality an its precedents Shakespeares Tempest What’s past is prologue. than to play with artifice  Hypoer Theatrics

Goebbels also wrote in ’41 Churchill’s Lie Factory The English followthe principle thatwhen one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

   Sounds like Republicanswho arent the other side of the political coin have taken a page from the playbook
How inspirational

Thasaid
         Whas your intention towards your eros your new zeal land death

I don know  Its pregnant with possibilities 
                                                Ill let it gestate
Fester

Those are two different things

I don know

You do know Youre trying to provoke me  Anya know better than tha

I woudnt say provoke  Id say prod
Goad
Thas an annoying word
Youre annoying
                   Sometimes
Im annoyed all the time
                          Im stuck with you

Till Death Do We Part

Maybe youll work out something different in new zeal land death

  Maybe

I prefer perhaps

My error

   Eros
Nah

0901, Sunday,  30  7. 23