she and he
1847, Saturday, 29 12.
12
she and he
1847, Saturday, 29 12.
12
wrote this this morning laid in bed eyes shut trying to gleam what he had dreamed . . and failed . . only remnants . .and from those he stitched this together
1245, Thursday, 7 3.
13 coming off last night’s dreaming
reading Robbe-Grillet grilled in The Paris Review
he respires when one is a
teacher one becomes a student again
and I wait
I wait patiently as patiently as I could muster for him to say the obvious
when one becomes a student one is a teacher
to put asunder the hierarchy
shit flowing downhill
where there should be no hill
and if there is shit
it pools
taints
everyone steps in it
I burned all the sticks that they could scrape their soles with
rather everyone should have to walk it off
leave trails behind them and
later are able to fingered by a good bloodhound
because they walked off separately not wanting to breathe the miasma of a coarse chorus line
singularly dejected
shufflingscuffing their soles on the street
Aaah better
though wishing they could scuff the
scent
try as we may
irregardless
those also who watch Those who watch the Watchers
who cared – he thought – in this blasted Nation
vibrantly shaking with narcissists who are inclined to think they are worth the time expense an energy to be Watched an would take insult if they werent
he wanted to suggest a modest perhaps imperfect solution allow
those Remaining to opt out
take the tens of millions hunred million who slip an slide an
intertwine like snakes in heat like myriad strands of DNA helices or maudlin
RNA-voyeur single-strand nucleotides
an let them
invigorate
this self-replicating self-fulfilling two-way For-Profit Looking-Glass
but let those Remaining opt out
as
inane as that may seem to many
the Remaining are nonlethal riptides an undertows suddenunsuspected forces of Nature who prefer their lives unrecorded unremarkable go on about their day with good intentions hopeful that goodness is either shared forward or eventually returns
individuals plying sensuous lives defying categories an rather than Watchers are thoughtful visceral observers
the two as different as day an night
her nest or roost in the tall pine a couple of places up from his
raw bits and pieces of her prey found by ants scattered in his yard
she has poor table manners
hed excuse her
he excused dinner guests who should possess better manners than her but dont
talons arent as nimble as phalanges ought to be
after they departed he stripped stain-treated his linen
tablecloth sweep crumbs from the floor and found odd glasses and coffee cups on shelves or behind planters
hes a sucker for natural inclinations and could abide sheer
laziness
he thrilled at her cry the bustle of her feathers passing overhead
her violent black shadow like broken glass erasing ghosts of tall seeded
grass
white clouds drifting alone
her plummet and scorn fires his blood pumps his heart makes his soul race outside him like a child at play pointing Did you see that?! Did you see that!? and falling down laughing in delight in this yard of hysteria as only a child can
Freud
1615hrs Thursday,
4/20
‘23
currently Hotmail.com writing Hotmail ought to tip people off
he was using according to Microsoft
10.75GB but he could pay for more Storage
teaspoons one part to two parts
or perhaps an enticed leech reared in a springfed freshwater lake
these were beginning to sound like specialty rolls at a sushi
house
raw eggs work
some prefer it with a touch of milk and coarse ground black pepper
while others find them repellent because they have something to do
with raw chickens
cant beat garlic or kale
legumes or soybean pods he was partial to calling them edamame
none of the letters creep off beneath the lower line of a Primary Ruled Printing Tablet which return him thoughts of one-inch ruling Bond paper its trusty companions the Ticonderoga #2 Beginner Pencils their tactile smooth round yellow barrels
Prousts madeleines did justice but memory isnt confined
alone to scents or tastes
theres a weight in the hand a turn of a
phrase sensations a place
all Tonics
and other tonics toxic things
better left alone or struggling to forget
that which exists is
and even when it becomes was / Is
to others who have forged ahead mustered their way beyond the was / Is of their experience who are grappled and clutched who are sought to be arrested by sincere others who feel they ought to be grateful for their time
and as that time expired
rather than a human being
one takes a tonic to refresh
to invigorate
and best ingested alone