27.11.22


his telephone rang  Jesus Christ obviously he was running behind he muttered Why call  Hello 

Where are you?

Woke late broke a shoelace

Whell . . to make the time slot we have to leave now, you’ll have to catch up.

Odd man out . .
. . Again! But your doing. 
                          sarcastically Broke a shoelace.  I haven’t done that since I was little. 
Go

We have to.

Go 
    Ill see wha I can do

So you’re saying you might not come. 

their statement frosted his fanny Listen Ive covered my sharenot leaving you high an dry 
                                                                                                it seemed a good idea at the time some intimacy  then that went out the window when word got out   I wanna come.   I couldn’t say no, hurt their feelings. 
           An my feelings he didnt ask
he didnt want to hear that there was no consideration for himthat it would be fine  but didnt ask  he didnt want to hear I thought it would be fine with you should have asked but he thought that way because he wasnt one to make assumptions when he could askcould communicate                        

he did things harder than most at work or play

he didnt tie his shoes he tugged them 
                                        when he shook someones handgave them a hug   That’s a strong grip . . when you hug, you really hug.

he drew hard evident lines  had high bars   held himself to them fiercely


    he woke late broke a shoelace 

heat fled the original incentive             

left no one high and dry

1952,  Saturday,  26  11. 22
1030,  Sunday,  27  11. 22
Explosions in the Sky (Mountains mix)  What Do You Go Home To?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBDRTNevy5Q

26.11.22

 

3:53

Whastha supposed to mean

3:53

Whastha supposed to be

3:53

                                                                                                                                                                                        Repeatin donmean shit or make sense
nevertheless 
              he kept repeating it in his head as he tried to go back to sleep after waking to take a leak badgered by the illuminated hands on the clock on the pigchewed feed trough made nightstand

laying down he refused to open his eyesrefused to get up 
                                                            he was going to go back to sleep 


FUCK 
     he peeked  the bedroom lighter   5:33 Arya fuckin kiddin me
                                                                           he closed his eyesrefused to get up 
he was going to go back to sleep

he repeated 3:53
NO howled 5:33

Scream all ya want 3:53
Its my turn 

   You think its your turn its my choice  animate versus inanimate  got thaonya
5:33

Subliminal Good thinkinglike your style  3:53

they argued

he grew bored

 

he woke at 9:59 sixhours sixminutes after he first woke 
                                                                 Whadafuck 

he figured over coffee he was drawn to numbers  figures 
                                                             a possibility was that he dreamtwas gifted naked women 36-24-36s an others had sex againanagain with Marilyn Monroe had lotsa sex  it was probably a concession he had to concede 

   when he went to sleep tonight hed apologise
To who

   Ill offer to the ether I believe whoever who is has keen ears  theyll hear

1252,  Saturday,  26  11. 22


Excuse me excuseme Ya walkin . . 
. . I am

he looked dumbfounded wasnt a good look  Really

I am

Doesnt tha cross your ethics
No

   No How no

Contended with two strikes this week Figured Id make it best of threewalk away

But this onebest of three iscorrect me if Im wrong contrived

Contrived How

Pits you against your honesty

Pits me against stupidity cantwont correct everything 
Thas a little harsh
                   She might have been near the end of her shiftmight have been tired

   So tired she was blind to the common sense of the transaction 
                                                                      When was the last time nah jokin have you ever seen packaged chicken beef or pork not sold by price per pound droned price per pound price per pound

I gotchagotcha  excellent epizeuxis an alliteration

Thank you very much

I suppose youve awready figured your take 
Winnings I have

I coud look at your scribbles on the chalkboard

Yacoud  Yare right there

Yahwell Im nearing the end of my shift  he chuckled 
he volleyed his chuckle
                          Comedian 
Yare a funny guy

Thank youwe are 
                     So 4point87 pounds plus 4point69 pounds 16 6 carry the one 15 5 carry the one 9  9point56 
I dig how ya do numbers in your head
Don try to take me off my game 9point56 pounds 
                                                   99 cents a poundcall it a dollar 9 dollars 56 cents subtract a dime Owed herthe market 9 dollars 46 cents for the chicken thighs 

   But the raincheck was written 99 cents 
A pound a poun . .
. . Save me another epizeuxis 
Awright awright  he was awfully tempted to pull the trigger 
                                                                9point56 pounds two packages she charged me a dollar ninetyeight cents for them Tha make sense to you by any stretch

   No not really

She didnt brook common sense

Put it thaway

There another way 
                        Look at it this way  She charged me just over twentycents a pound  makes no sense zip nada  When was the last time we paid twentycents a pound for chicken

   No idea 

Me neither but Id guess  before we were born

You were born

You werent far behind

1407,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22
1132,  Saturday,  26  11. 22

25.11.22


he washed his hands

not that they needed it

it seemed something to do something to move time forward  spur it on 
                                                                           recently hes caught himself wanting time to pass quicker  to have leapt the afternoon to dinner  to leap to bed dream and have it be tomorrow morning 
Are you an asshole he asked himself

   Im not
             You know 
We have to go there

Im there  Im there all the time

So Im going to have to keep pulling you backstaying the course

Yes please  I know its a lot to ask 
                                     Be my anchor my tether  hold mekeep me in realtime

   Easier said than done
 
I know 
         But I cant trust anyone else

   Thrusted trust

In a manner of speaking

1128,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22
Grouper  Heavy Water/I’d Rather Be Sleeping  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLR9oEnYLxs


Hmmm he mused Learn something new every day 
                                                        socio-sexual hierarchy 
he thought itbut didnt saydidnt put it out into the ether 
                                                         could hear his daughter  Papa, whenever you think, Is that a thing? know that it is.

his learning came on the heels of a title of an articlehe didnt read Who is a sigma male? on MSNBCs tattleteller snitch format that presented when he signed out of Outlook  sigma male? cisgender?whadafuck 
                                                                                                 tuurned out the socio-sexual hierarchy is apexed aped https://www.facebook.com/ZooATL/videos/sound-up-to-hear-a-few-common-gorilla-vocalizations/336795330859701/  aped inside the pyramid by alpha  however equal to alpha though outside the structure is sigma  returning to the hierarchynot necessarily a ladder is beta delta gamma  all who squat on omega
how had he been alive this long without knowing there was a hierarchy 
                                                                             could suppose ignorance was bliss 
or he was good with his fists

   unable to resist he telephoned his daughter 
                                                  Hey baby
Hey Papa, what a nice surprise . . what’s up?

I love you

I love you.

So you ever heard of a sigma male

 

Sweetheart
Yes?

Did you hear me

I did. 
        I’m waiting for it.

Waitin

Yes. he could imagine her nodding

   Did you know that that was a thing . .
. . There it is!That’s my boy! 
                               What’s the answer?

   Thawhen I wonder if something is a thing I ought to understandaccept  it is a thing

Yes. 
     Seeking confirmation?

   Yay

Consider yourself confirmedIve known since college freshman year.

You coud have said

What? 
        And missed this telephone call? Sigma is equal to an alpha, although prefers being a lone wolf, a mavericksound like anybody you know Papa?

Yayyay

Come across like it . spare me.

   Me

Yay.

Yay Is tha complimentary

Not necessarily, but it works for you . . think . otherwise your hard knocks wouldn’t have served you, would have been for nothing.

 

Papa?

Excuse me
              Was thinking

Now you’re thinking.

Yay Usually I react . .
. . Yathink?  she laughed gleefully 
                                     You’re a real peach, Papa.
A peach

Yay.

Maybe thas why I called

Fishing?

Nah

Nah, that’s not your style. 
                             Sorry, Papa, I gotta get going. Love hearing your voice, love to know you’re thinking, learning.

I love ya sweetpea

Love ya peachy Papa.

1452,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22
Gims  feat. Dhurata Dora  Only You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv792jyJNoo


  Africaine 
              he read the word for the first time on page 203 of NOW-some-unremembered book title on another ReggaeFriday  26 August ’22  1430hrs 
he riffed 
          Africocaine which of course would be inaccurate in light of the US drug war  innercity blacks couldnt afford cocaine like whites
                     hence Africrack 
if apprehended
prosecuted 
             Afrincarceration 

Thas it  shot his wad

he didnt say it was a long riff

1242,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22

its irritated him for a while

Google Pixel with Magic Eraser  

Making Life Superficial 
                            You writing copy?

he read what he wrote under his breath 
                                            answered  Its almost poetic 
It reads like advertisement.

   he read it again admitted it did

You really take issue with technology . . 
. . When it can lead us around by the nose I do I find its coarsely he cleared his throat convenience  superfluous . .
. . Unnecessary.  To you. 
                            However people gobble this stuff up.

Honestly I couldnt sayI don know I practise ignorance

Yet you have an acclaimed issueagain . with ignorance.

I do Albeit that ignorance is when someone talks through their hathas little knowledge  though just enough to be dangerous 
            Superficial knowledge

Making life superficial.

Yes

So what do you mean?

I mean lifes a clusterfuck the good an bad knead together  To prettify it to excise erase is a fabrication Its equivocation dishonest 
            It is furthur evidence that one cannot believe their eyes Were visual animals anwhen technology an eraser is deployedId rather see a word struck with a line than it erased when deployed were blinded
                                                                                                  I understand someone thought they were being very clever But cheats tend to be clever CG is clever However   Dishonest

You think entertainment is dishonest?

It isnt creativewe exercise someone elses creativity 
                                                     Im not saying it doesnt have a place however if while drifting with it we don drill downwork to understand it can be negligible it becomes part of our experienceour memory an remembering artifice we are not accurate were lying to ourselves

Which . you tirelessly acclaim is the worse lie to tell.

Yes

   Are you going to keep up this ignorance?

Until the day I die until the day I die

0943,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22


how prevalent is fear

she would have preferred it be a rhetorical question it was not

one answer she thought ridiculous 
                                      create your own smart house
she surmised
                create your own prison  


a house surveilled inside and out  its working accessed remotely  it working like an algorithm selfsufficient
a house is not a self
                       that house is not a home

a smart house reveals how fearful its tenant is  they believe what they have is worth stealing they surrender the advantage of knowing their houses guts so if an intruder breached they wouldnt have the sense of outrage to defend what is theirs  defend their family to the death

at home she treated people like vampires she had to invite them inside  
                                                                           if they entered uninvited they ought to know they were playing for all the chips

could suppose she was smarter than brick and mortar

1501,  Sunday,  30  10. 22
0938,  negraReggaefriday,  25  11. 22

24.11.22

 
   I am who I amcant be no other 
                                        and what I am has been deliriously happy to have been with youshared with you to have had you to have had our delicious intimacies
                                                     which in their midst an depth we couldnt have believed would end 
   yet was doomed 


I fail to understand that natural premise

2254,  Sunday,  30  10. 22
2208,  Thursday – Thanksgiving,  24  11. 22


“I have never been able to ignore the possibility of the spiritual altogether, my brushes with synchronicities, with the divine, with the unnamable, have been too numerous and too real for me to dismiss whatever else is out there.” 
Jeanna Kadlec her book Heretic

. . . whaever else is out there 
                               he concurredloved concurring
hed met whaever face to face or no-face melting face more times than he could say
                                                                                        but he was receptive
he believed the thinnest of veils exists between living and nonliving similar to a two-way mirror from our side reality an images are reflected on the other side whaever sees witnesses us in toto Because some things cannot be explaineddefy reason does not diminish their existence however brief it may have been 


I don’t believe in ghosts.

he heard him before was blasé  You havent an opinion

he glared again  Yes . of course I do. 
Ya don
        Not having experience negates anything you might think you have to say  Whereof one cannot speak thereof one must be silent Wittgenstein Philosopher Logician   Take it up with him

You’re ridiculoustake it up with him. I'm welcome to my opini . .
. . Not when its utterly worthless Ill put it this way 
                                                      If you havent had sex yare a virgin an I have  Why the hell woud I ask you for advise  I woudnt

   I have an opinion.
Empty words
                Yaoughta be embarrassed 
  
1919,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  11. 22
1041,  Thursday – Thanksgiving – 24  11. 22

23.11.22


the compound lights are on again 

bleaching his solitude 
                       offendingtainting his quiet soulful realisationrelationship with the dark 

as a boy he was frightened by itsure that things lived in it ugly things  malevolent fearsome things 
                                                                                                           monsters
yet 
    for some ungodly reason
unquestioning 
                  he defied frightconfronted it  defeated it 
and vanquished 

he doesnt fear Fear

   it like cancerous jealousy has no coinno influence over him


he can see it crawlround him spiderous slick vilebugs  unspeakable detestable things

   watching  he sees what few others can or want to see                                                                 

fearful of the dark  the night  the unseen 
                                            so fires lights are lit   electrically burn 
   but when they cease  failWhat 
                                     then 


he is armed with silent weapons that dont need reload

he can see in the darkisnt hobbled by fear

   not a betting man  he would bet on himself to survive the shroud
                                                                         he can point all he wants
howevertoday
                   seeing is not believing
 
1752,  Monday,  21  11. 22
2112,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  11. 22
Black Sabbath  The Wizard  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeZ8uVIOIhM


he caught the mane 
                     then rolling up the aisle along the mall storefronts glancingright he caught her fanny under the manethe automatic door closing behind her

two for two taunted him

   Pull over Park 
                 Youve leapt from moving cars to invite women to college partiespicked up the tempo livened apartment parties by foraging live wires who were as interested as you to skinnydip in the evenings lighted bluepools
Were first to take a chance

Which didnt always work out 


    Or keep rolling
conflicted 
           conflict kept him busy until he realised he had driven halfway home blindly  a homing pigeon some thing must have paid attention

I suppose we conceded he said

he heard nothing

   he chuckled 
                  Goes without saying
stepping out of the blue Whaif  an accusation

Then we woud have learned either yea or nay 

Anya didnt want to

I didnt react kneejerk 
If you had been on foot 
If
   We werent

She was attractive from behind

She was Bit like tossing a coin though  heads or tails   One cant attest for the other

A bit sexist
A bit 
     But Im not fool enougha feminist enough to believe sexism is a one way street
 


carrying groceries inside mane and fanny accompanied himtheyd stick with him for awhile 
                                                                                                   he was okay watching their memory
    
1419,  Twosday,  22  11. 22
1137,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  11. 22
Apparat  Goodbye (Skin&Soap)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35NHFdi3bKc 


he upset him

aww poor baby

because he wouldnt make a bet 


If you’re absolutely sure, why wouldn’t you bet?

I don bet
But if you’re absolutely sure, next the provocation asif daring seasoned with machismo ever proved a thing absolutely surewhy wouldn’t you? he smiled wolfish

Whell lets see 
                 Aah  because I don bet

That doesn’t follow reason.

   Reason Follow this   An atheist doesnt have to bet theres not a god

1600,  Thursday,  27  10. 22
1234,  Twosday,  22  11. 22
Deru  Pathologically Bored  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH_bcIIDw7A