she smirked it wasnt a good lookhe found that unfortunate  You’re jealous.

his head answeredwagged NO before he could say  so he didnt

Please don’t shake your head at me the ungood look continued  Be honest.

Im brazenly honest You got your head on wrongno jealousy  contempt  stark contempt  Theyve nothing Im jealous of 

Itsa worthless emotionwaste of time

 

   Really? ungoodlook spoiled to haggard

he shook his headbit his tongue so How old are you didnt emerge  I told you  Take me at my word 

her attitude had been declining since she pickedup with a clutch of people he was uninterested making time forpolitely refused their invites refused their taunt You think you’re better than us.   No  blandly I don think of you at all 

his abruptness offended her

                              You ought to be nicer.

You makeup for me

   What do you mean by that wisecrack?

You make up for me 

                        Make of it wha you willI didnt agree to meet you for coffee to talk about this 

We agreed to meet to discuss our relationship . .

. . Our relationship he regretted he raised his voice  

                                                      Our relationship has nothing to do with themtheir your friends

I’d like them to be our friends.

Thas not happening

Despite the threat to our relationship? 

I woud hope youve given this some thought 

                                                      Im not swayed by ultimatums  

I haveI thought we shared something special.

   Special yes  Not common theyre common 

                                                  Enjoy their companytheres no reason why you shoudnt or cant 

So you’re giving me an ultimatum?

No 

    I enjoy being with you   With you 

You’re not jealous?

   No

the look finally fell

2017,  Thursday,  17  11. 22

1303,  ReggaeFriday,  18  11. 22

 

    Nothing 

he didnt answer

he repeated himself 

he peered deep inside his walnut  nothing on the walls on the floor in the cupboardsclosets looked like he moved out moved on 

         hestartled when he responded Nothing nothing   Ive got nothing

I saw

   Saw   Shoudave knocked

I spoke

Nothing

          Askin a question isnt speaking Next time knock

Are you going to be there  By the looks . .

. . Looks arent everything 

                          You know betterhow many looks have you walked away from   Im reevaluatingstripped the place to the bone like it was when I entered

   Entered 

Entered

In the beginning  Before we met

You werent there in the beginning

I was

         I was waiting for you 

I don remember

   Before memory  Before the candle was lit to shed light

Light

Long time ago 

Which you think . .

. . Know  

Think eyed him  gives you the right to peer 

I assumed the right while I waited for you

I didnt have a choice

You did not  Its been the only choice you were denied 

I was stuc . .

. . Stuck Yes    

                 In the beginning were stuck   Carry onexcuse the interruption Ill be around if you need help

he wasnt impolite  Thank you

he wasnt impolite  Yare welcome

0647,  Thursday,  17  11. 22

1035,  ReggaeFriday,  18  11. 22

Dhurata Dora  Criminal  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6QjTY9YzNk

for someone not inclined to sweets  candies cakes chocolates pies ice cream  he was terribly fond of Canadian whisky  four components   rye corn wheat barley 

                                              cheap sweet whisky

Yawanna try again

was he talking to himself again 

                                   waaait  he wasnt 

                                                     he was asleep 

he looked aroundsaw a thug-himdreaming-self leaning again a bar his bootheel on the footrailarms crossed 

                                                                                                                 Again 

dreamed-self  he they were both he but he identified more with him sat at a table across from the bar 

                                                                                                       Again  Wha

Cheap sweet

   Ah I follow   cheep sweet whisky

Yes

Got your eyes out

Yabetcha 

           You got a chance to playwe get a chance to play  were on it 

My apologeezs 

Yes 

      Geezs  Geezs cheep sweeet whisky

Forgive me

Forgiven

Can I go back to my drink dreamed-self held up fourfingers he was sipping from

Room at the table for me

he looked around bar was empty   not even a bartender

Hellyah

dreaming-self stepped across to the tablepulled out a chair sat  fourfingersfilled glass waited at his place 

                                                                                                                 he heldup the glass  Whawe drinking to

To our bond being sympatico

Head on a swivel  Inside an out

they clicked glasses  sipped 

                              an mirrorimaged they leaned backchairs balanced on their heels put their feet on the coarse table

Aah should have expected Id like cheep sweeet whisky too

   Yathink 

                Youah give any thoughts to wha ya might unspoolspring on me when we finish our drinks 

   Something   Guaranteed

No doubt 

           Coud we keep it English

Didnt like Dutch

Didnt mind it except ya must have noticed the chyron was stickingthen whirled to get caught up  then got stuck again 

I confused some extras when I answered questions they asked after I begged offmimed  I was deaf

HA he chuckled 

                  Tryin to keep you clowns on your toes

    

0620,  Thursday,  17  11. 22 

1537,  Thursday 

Gims feat. Dhurata Dora  Only You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv792jyJNoo

Capital T feat. Dhurata Dora  Bongo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1EFJfGWU0U

his flipflop snubbedhe stumbled on the kitchen linoleum 

                                                          Pick up your feet 

Don tell me wha to do

Yare the captain of this vessel an wed prefer not to go down because you stumbled fell an cracked your skull on the kitchen sink  Bleed out

                            Cuzya live alone

Problem living alone

                       Cuz we know Im agile I didnt fall   Ill concede my flipflop caught

   No  not necessarily

Bug up your ass today

heshe shehe shrugged 

                           Coudbe

Im usually the one tha gets the bugup the ass Coudbe untoward if you or yours start  I mean none of ya will be stubbing your flipflops on a kitchen floor willya

   No   No risk of tha

So whasup

Donknow out of sorts

Just you or others too

Ill speak for myself  I believe others woud too

Good  Were in agreement 

                              You were abrupt

Got your attention 

Got an example when either you or another didnt get my attention 

Nadahuh 

           I pay attentionI pay keen attention have alwaysyah

    Yes Fuck  Im out of sortscant put my finger on it

Well when ya do lemme know

Arent I creating a problem

   Listen I maywe may list a bit  but the boat aint going down 

                                                                     Youll sort it out We always do

 

since he was a kid oldenough capableenough he made his bed  before he went out on his paper route 

                                                                                                             routine 

he abided routines 

                     he was fortunate that way

it seemed unnecessary for him to change up procedures processes systems he thoughtlikely because he was comfortable in his own skin

                              antha vantage points tha might be afforded others by travelchange of scenery he had were internalised  birthed the opinionatedthoughtful melee of heshes shehes who inhabited him   a counsel

sometimes

 

he wrote his father a letter asking him

                                         Have you any routines that are yours since you were a kid

on occasion hes posed the same of others 

                                             Why? 

Whynot

Don’t think it’s worth my time considering. 

   it goes without saying  

                              but he couldnt resist  Thoughtlessness

1113,  Thursday,  17  11. 22 

Est-ce que tu m’aimes (Do You Love Me?) Maitre Gims (Mary B & Willy Saul cover)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Tx6FJsQ408 

Maitre Gims  Est-ce que m’aimes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TpyRE_juyA

they had too much fun an particularly so when they didnt see it coming

usually he saw it coming far off had a nose for humour albeit it twisted irreverent  particularly offcolour

she commented her face beset by consternation a friend invited her to visit but they wouldnt give her their address

he burst out laughing 

                         Sorryapologise thas rich  Visit me but Im not giving you my address shaking his hands before him like a whitegloved Bozo he trilled FIND ME

she shook her head Yeah right. Sometimes he gets his panties in a knot for no reason.

Well laughing again thas as apt a description or definition of panties in a he tripped over himself caughtcorrected himself before saying aloud knot knot as ever Ive heard   

Hah.  You betcha. 

                   what he caught himself from saying was panties in a lock he laughedbarked to himself visuals imaginings arriving from beyondbeyond of neural firingsgangly ganglions were too much 

                                                                                            he confessed  I almost said panties in a lock 

                she barked caught her unsuspecting

                                                           I think that’s what’s called a chastity belt.

Id hate to see someone get their chastity belt tied in a knot woud kinda defeat the purpose

True! she laughed again  That would be impressive.

Yes it woud though Id pay good money to see it or a picture

1523,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  11. 22

1054,  Thursday,  17  11. 22

theres a method to his madness  but he wont divulge it 

                                                                          he didnt have to share

he identified bodies

who the bodys were

he had the distinctdistinkt pleasure of catching up with unwitting say dimwitted murderers of those peoplesbodys they thought no bodies before the authorities 

                                             SAY You should have stoked the fire hotter or really churned itturned it  You left pieces 

                                              he didnt wait on authorities because he assumed authority on his own

faced with that

                 authorities slapped on legal to proscribedefine them asif tha mattered to suggestonly suggest because he hadnt a badge a patch some id he was somehow illegal   please at best they were late to the party ILL legal illlegal  ill informed

             they had that on him

         

   found   feckless

he was free to feed on their carcasses  HOWEVER 

                                                       not before they knew what they knew and that he knew 

as apt a printed definition of premeditated as he had ever read

 

theres method to his madness   he aint divulging 

                                                     Go ahead say it  shehe heshe said 

sometimes he liked permission 

                              Awright itd be vulgar 

   Better 

Yah

1430,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  11. 22

1540,  Day-between-Two-Ts    

Coil  The Gimp (Sometimes)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN6U4YzdInU

he came in from his daily walk in the sun

he was warmedwarmed twice a day 

                                        in the sunthe exertion of walking miles     then 

when he went to bed

                       slathered in the elegiacelectric fadedblue polyester blanket which faked sun

Elegiac

Certainly  Think about it 

   Ya got me 

               I understand it to mean wistful  mournful

Or sad 

         I don think it very often but being warmed at night by an electric blanket not a body is sad  Possibly   pitiful

My  Yare being unusually frank

Between you and I nawh 

                           shehes heshes were notoriously tightlipped they got it from him  friends knew they could confide in him  was like tossing a coin into a deep deep wishing well and if thinking to listen were unable to hear it strike bottom 

                Feeling pitiful for some reason this evening

Thas unlike you

It is unlike me

   You thought to call herdidnt you

a sad smile worked into his face 

                                      I did

You tipped the dominoes

I tipped the dominoes 

You have my condolences

 

   Thank you   Too manytoo quick 

                                       Im bent under the weight

If you don mind   Understandably

No I don   I understand a sharp HA hawk broke in his throat 

                                                                      I stand under it 

Yes   Yes you do

1437,  Twosday,  15  11. 22

1317,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  11. 22

Mogwai  Too Raging to Cheers  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPiQUVyfCMY

   he  we  have a marvelous capacity for taking things for grantedcant help ourselves despite not knowing when the last time will be the last time  except which goes without saying 

                                                                    the thought reminded him of the Beatles Yesterday 

I loved you yesterday but yesterday’s gone. 

the cold linchpinstill dangling from his finger reminding him was bigfoot  a huge catnow shrinking he befriended ten years earlier who came morning and evening for food 

                                                  Yesterday

looking out his kitchen window he saw him sitting in the flower planter just outside it  

he killed flowers so the terracotta pots were empty except for vagrant plants which were likely weeds he appreciated all ways Nature manifests herself

he was surprised the planter held bigfoots weight  the last tenant hung it

                                                                             he rapped on the glassasked Hey big guy ya wanna treat  he hadnt ever fed him by hand   early in their relationship bigfoot had bitten his handshis arms both his legs  he noddedconceded itd be an interesting experiment

he dumped some tastyhe tried themthey werent bad salmon treats into his hand opened the window and held them out to him cupped in his hand 

bigfoots head waggled  he smelled them

                                              Aww big guy  ya kiddin me

eventually he found the kibble  apparently was having a hard time seeing them                                                                                                                                locating them he mouthednoshed on a couple backed off to chew sniffed again located a couple more   he took his time at the kibble  when bigfoot had finished he held his hand uprightSTOP All gone big guy all gone This was a treat Dinners in an houranahaf  bigfoot sat sphinxlike  he slid the window shut

returning to prepare his dinnercutting up vegetables he thought to this point their relationship they had been casual however in the last year yearanahaf when he came upon bigfoot at the foot of the hill leading up to his place hed hear him chirp hed stop hed pick him up carry him up the hilltheir faces inches apart ten years ago that wouldnt have happened bigfoot wouldnt have allowed him to pick him up he wouldnt have allowed bigfoot that close to his facehis eyes 

      TIME 

it occurred to himstomped him  he had no idea when the last time would be 

if he would find bigfoot or if bigfoot wouldnt show  disappear

                                                       ANGST

   DONTAKE BIGFOOT FOR GRANTED he didnt think animals had the capacity although he could be wrong

304preferred,  Twosday,  15  11. 22

1105,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  11. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXTJBr9tt8Q

Whale Fall  The Dawn Thief  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kvZ2x4_sE8 

he disappearedhad no other choice 

                                      the hood bruised his thigh before he could completely dematerialise

                                                                                                         the driver saw him in the crosswalk the last second before impactthat didnt happen for him terrifiedhe saw his eyeshis face the driver swerved hard left and crashed into a semi that idled waiting to make a left onto the towns main artery which paralleled the highway

        a tremendous crash  the driver mistaking his gas pedal for the brake

   he didnt materialise until he was almost across intersectiondidnt attract any attention because all eyes were paying keen attention to the treacheroussmoking wrecks behind him 

   No  he wasnt going to attestbe a witness  let the driverif he survived and the authorities sort it out 

                                                                                                            hed done enough

   he wonderedbriefly  how that stress might physically have affected his body   psychically  becoming something other-dimensionally  soothed himits gentle hand assuring him that aside from the nanosecondfright which catapulted him 

     hed be fine

stepping up onto the street curbnot looking back he returned to reading 17 Dikter 17 Poems 1954  by Tomas Transtromer from new collected poems  titled 

                                     the great enigma

1410,  Twosday,  15  11. 22

 

   plash

the sound made by striking the surface of water 

                                                 poetic

splash

          to be sure it was a sound he thought he might hear when a threequarter ton pickup truck pounded a body suspended in midair a homeless man belligerently wheeling loops on a bicycle through an intersection six-lanes-in-either-direction  obliviousdisregard of noonhour traffic 

                                                          Thas mean 

Nobody asked ya addressing the inner

All because he almost clipped you . .

. . On purpose . . 

. . He embarrassed youya didnt see him coming . . 

. . Isnt embarrassment  provocation

Yasure

  Ya taunting me  donneedit 

Just sayin

   Motherfucker saw me 

                           Was tryin to be cute as cute appears to his obviously deranged or drugaddled mind

Yaknow theres never a cop around when you need one

he bellylaughed 

                   was tickled Mariachi tossed in hisher herhis two-cents

their intrusion turned homeless mans chide humorous 

                                               Can’t you walk without reading?

probably three weeks ago

1149,  Twosday,  15  11. 22

hes enjoyed uncountable hypnagogic hallucinationsnot wha he woud call them however this morning slowlywaking like oil dispersing across a watersurface he realised in his eyes or projected against the fleshveil of his eyelids constellations unlike those that bid him good night every evening before he went in to sleep 

                                                                                                no red Mars brilliant Jupiter Orion Cassiopeia Canes Ursas Andromeda Perseus Hercules

he tried imagining creatures pinpointed by stars but there was little space anif he concentrated on a small portion of sky it congealed into a ball of light thenshattered scatteredanew  brittleanplasticatonce 

                                                                                        the harder he tried the more he felt

    alien

                  losing himself

atoncefrightened he wideopened his eyes

                                  pureblack 

it held

               then shatteredfell away revealed his bedroom ceiling the light-fan fixture         back 

    he laid deathlystill as he reconnoiteredconfirmed his presence  his body 

back

               finally he rose       

2027,  Sunday,  13  11. 22

1021,  Twosday,  15  11. 22

https://www.constellation-guide.com/constellation-names/

Earth  The Colour of Poison  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CpTtj3JWws