15.5.22


He who laughs last laughs the loudest.

shook his head
                 I don follow that sayin . .
. . It’s an idiom, idiot.

kinda surprised him thennot  Moby had been missing ripe opportunities the whole afternoon over the hike around the laketoo busy trying to make eye contact with women walking around it in the opposite direction Woudya stop They think were gay which upset Moby however tickled him and over coffee and over beer
                                                                                           Idiot  Really  he faked injury
Must be if you don’t understand it.

Antha explains absolutely nothing
                                     Moby couldnt stand things in absolutist terms which is why he said it he was a provocateur Moby made it easy though constantlyconsistently teeing up balls

It mea . .
. . Im listening
               he wanted to exasperate him a wee bit tuneup his confusion which tickedup his ire he wasnt patientwanted everything yesterday but unfortunately because he could afford most things he wanted nothing forced him to be patient

I figured you were.

   I am
             I apologise for interruptingplease

It means the one who has the final, decisive move or victory in no matter, a fight, game, they are the one who is truly successful.

Okay So they can laugh at the loser their competitor

Yes.

To spite them

I think the idea is that during, let’s say a game, the person or team who lost may have been gleeful, laughing, earlier during the game.

   Seems cruel
                   I prefer it aint over till the fat lady sings an the while purposefully keeping fat women at bay outside the room or arena

I like he who laughs last laughs the loudest.

   Interesting
                Yadig interesting is ambivalent
I do.

Good  Ya also understand today most things you alluded to spoke of were tangential to the meat of our conversation  ya didnt keep on topic even ifya proposed it Whawid that

I . .
. . Excuse me for interrupting I wanna to beat you to the punch Yawerent clever  You were really stretchingreaching

an eyeroll  But you think you’re clever.

Exponentially
                By orders of imaginatude

That’s not a word.

Is nowjust coined it by magnitude of imagination  Definition of the noun 
                                                                             But excuse me yawere sayin


I forgot what I was going to say; if you hadn’t interrupted me and let me say . .
. . Wed both know now 
                          Clever   Hint

Maybe . . I don’t know.
                          If you didn’t interrupt me.

 

   tangential  who does that when it consumes the conversation diverts it   he wondered if Moby had undiagnosed ADD attention deficient disorder  if his daughters heard him theyd correct him ADHD, Dad, it’s called attention deficient hyperactive disorder, Dad.  Epizeuxis hed say straighten their fannies out  repetition in which a word is repeated immediately for emphasis  DAD 
                                           Christ he hoped that wasnt an acronym for a disorder


FUCK  it was  DAD effect  “when someone struggles with depression, followed by substance abuse (addiction), then denial (DAD).” 
        he laughed    last 

1410,  ReggaeFriday,  18  2. 22
1328,  Sunday,  15  5. 22

14.5.22


long long time agoFebruary 18  
                                 he had vied back and forth with Moby about deviancy and pruriencytheir Venn overlap
Quit your yakking awready show me draw the damn diagram you believe is appropriate Illofcourse follow suit

Why do I have to draw first?

Ya cringedya cringed at the getgo when I called myself a deviant
                                                                    Im dyed in the woolunlike you  ya step back as soon as lines are laid I recognised I departed as a boy from the status quothe usual accepted standards social or sexual behavior ameliorated by religious or conservative cows eunuchs dey wanna conduct themselvesfuck like missionaries dey can knock themselves out but stay the hell out of my affairsaway from my rights to pursue happiness an pleasure

Moby fingered the pen


Waitin on inspiration
I’m thinking.

Yare thinking wha my Venns gonna look like arentya

he wouldve preferred anger flushed his face  embarrassment

Take your time your everlovin sweet time

Don’t rush me.

Aint


Moby finally drew it the circles for each were commiseratethey overlapped bumpedup against the others centerdiameter

Quite a gashquite the cunt I wouldnt want to fuck it like takin my dick out in a warm room

You asked I did.

Thank you
           he took the pen out of his handdidnt bother turning the clipboard to face him drew one circle Voila  I cant distinguish between deviant or prurient Lustful erotic shameful Go Eunuchs Go morbid interest in sexual contact Morbid fuck sexually explicit nuditydonbe catchin ganders of yourself fuckin in mirrors sadomasochistic abuse between consenting adults in the privacy of their bedroom lewd exhibition of genitals I wanna see wha Im eatin fuckinLIGHTS ON BABY 
       Curiously though pornographypornographic is not cited

Gotta admit the execution of your circles are nicer than mine
 
1223,  Friday,  18  2. 22
1513,  Saturday, 14  5. 22
Long, long time ago . .   Don McLean  American Pie  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yHTpGog0IY
Beatles  Do It In the Road  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4E6KtQg_z0  
Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyV3zCq1OHM


Hardwood forest 
                   On the heels of deviancy an pruriency hardwood forest takes on a whole other meaningyah Don play Mommies little thumbsucker wid me Moby ya tout yer honesty
                                                                 Don make me callya out callya a liar Im eager Ill pinya in a heartbeat Antha tally woudbe all your makin


he waited

thumbsucker fidgeted


Whell

Wellwhat?

Time to saddleup confess  spew your guts light votives cross yer Ts dot yer Is recite dozen of prayers My Father Who Art in Heaven Virgin Mary Immaculate Mother of Jesus
                                                           Not shabbyeh for a recovering Catholic broomhandle indoctrination Kinda like the corporal punishmentsindoctrinations in Chicagoland grade schools Those were the days man Who doesnt like a little pain with their education not that it was a choice 
                                                                                   Follow
What do you want from me?

Ridiculous Admission 
                        Acknowledge the hardwood forests a clever play if I may say
I’m confused.
Yare not confused Pitiful perhaps 
                                    HARDwood Ifya make me labour thafact yare never getting laid again in your life Perpetually tuggin your cock man 
                                    I cant imagine noshin Viagra or that twin tubs crap so it enables ya to play with yourself
  
939preferred to 2139,  Saturday,  14  5. 22
1225,  ReggaeFriday,  18  2. 22


Jesus  thawas absurd
                        woke himnot really woke say awash on a hypnopompic tide  he woke himself upjust enough to check the ridiculousness Awman  how he thought   how he dreamed

somewhat awakeable to walk without falling on his face he went down the hall to the head an took a leak 
                                                                                                                washed his hands  
        returned to bed
leftie leapt up behind him Hey sweet girl gonna put me back to sleep

he looked at the alarm clock hands talking to the deaf told him 6:02FUCK
                                                                           he went to bed round 3went to bed as witching hour began bitches couldnt badger those who were awake majority of their kick was jabbing either end of their brooms into sleeping pusses as they cackled

as he laid backleftie tightup to his crotchpurring he may have caught distant cackles waking poor slobs but nothing stereoquadraphonic 
                      when they did come on him there were always two or moremade him smile safety in numbers   it applied to tagteaming hags


while flirting with consciousness he mused he was making a club sandwich on untoasted whitewheat bread he unwrapped slices of orange American cheeseforwent planed Velveeta cheesewhich he preferred  slices of olive loaf lettuce no Mayo 
                 he built it for high school lunch the Eagle Scoutheroic boy inside him smiled they advised him if a girl was stricken by her periodwas caught without a pad or tampon he could offer her a slice of two of his bread and save the day 
          whitewheat is mighty absorbent

Saturday,  14  5. 22
1051,  Saturday


looking through the drivers sideview mirror from the passenger seat he caught the reflection of a man passing behind him
Super Fat
           curiously  Curtis Mayfields Super Fly broke out in his head “. . . the man of the hour . . . the only game you know is do or die” 

he was heading for Sees Candies
                                  Christ he hoped his situation was glandular

If my parents wanted me to have will power they would have named me Willem.

  Maybe
                  if he had to guess hed say Sheldon

Why would you guess Sheldon asked one of his interior magpies

You saw him  Whawoud you guess

I . . I don often inhabit or pay much attention to whaya see

Yasee wha I see

I do
     Coudnt miss him . .
. . Not ifya tried nah  coudnt 
                              Comon  hazard a guess

  Really   Sheldon

I think  I think he rivals an Agatha you

We woudnt date an Agatha

We woudnt
                Whayagot

If its okay Id second Sheldon

Please Confirmation concurring  thadbe nice

I second Sheldon

Fine 
      he looked roundwithin  Ya other mugs concur

they noddedtheir eyes were closed

Yadid see

they nodded  then in chorus they said they saw more than they wanted

Yahwhell lets hope its a glandular condition 
                                             Everyone cross their fingers

one at the back muttered Ill say a prayer

Fine
     he didnt mind he was a recovering Catholic  hiccups remained

he watched Sheldon enter Sees

 

Sheldon exited Sees

tomorrow was Mothers Day

he carried a huge whiteplastic Sees bag

through the drivers side window he could see boxes hard edges crease distend the sides of the bag

several boxes 

many pounds

Sheldon swayedsidestepped a blind man coming up the sidewalk towards him who tapped a folding redanwhite cane before him
the mans head came up slightly
                                could have been he heard Sheldons jointshis wheeze or perhaps smelled the chocolates

he said to his crew Yawanna know wha that blind man has on us

their shook their heads no

their eyes were still closed

He didnt have to see Sheldon Super Fat 
                                         offagain in his head went Super Fly 
his crew busted moves

it was eminently danceable

if ones spine or feet didnt move  they were dead

1652,  Saturday,  7  5. 22
2344,  ReggaeFriday the 13th,  May 2022

13.5.22


they came up on an busy intersection

hed never been in this part of Los Angeles

everything was new

he was like a kid

fascinated

observing

had questions

didnt believe there were stupid questions 
                                             Erringer Avenue  he asked his soninlaw

That’s what the sign says, Dad.

If we went left west or right east where would it take us

I’ve no idea, Dad, though nice you have your bearings.

Rare Ill credit sushi we had for dinner

Fish, brain food?

Protein Yabetcha

Erringer, why do you ask?

Im curious
             Also  yathink anyone would take it if it were named Erring Avenue I wouldnt  I prefer making my own mistakes couldnt imagine taking a road that would take me to an Err


   crickets 
       Nada

Goes without saying, Dad.

Ah there is that

from the backseat his granddaughter asked What’s granpaw talking about?

Nothing, honey, he’s not talking about anything.

He talks a lot about nothing.

It’s his gift, baby.

My gift baby is making wheels turn that wouldnt if I didnt ask or say

Daddy didn’t turn.

No he wouldnt purposefully make an error 
                                             Though theres nothing wrong getting lost  People should get lost more often love

You’re silly granpaw.

Make ya laugh

You do.

Then Im doin my job right Youll remember the crazy fun we had when yare older  

1700,  Saturday,  7  5. 22 
1233,  ReggaeFriday the 13th,  May 2022 


   the thing Is


to be or not to be 


Is that really a thing babe

he could hear her roll eyes over the telephone her voice however wasnt patronising
                                                                                        Yes Papa, things you think aren’t things often are . . really.

Not yanking my chain

I wouldn’t. 
            she didnt he could take her word to the bankafter after he confirmed it he was a born sceptic felt social media homophily was tearing things apart the love of the same friends share with friends and they take them at their wordBAM gospel  how shit was dispensed thoughtlessly 
                                                             he preferred individuality due diligence  he made sure he could cite sources it was exhausting  but nobody could finger him for passing along something that wasnt true
  

So coloured ribbons hang from the ceiling Cirque du Soleil stuff

Cirque du Soleil, exactly.

For women to workout on  apparatus

Yes, it’s called aerial yoga.

Kinda like poles some strippers use in their performancetruth be known never did see a stripper pole-dance

YeahPapa . truth be known . . I didn’t need to know that.

Ive always told ya all men are pigs To varying degrees   Im no different

Yes you have always said, since I was a little girl.

Its been important to me you know who I am who I am as a man beyond being your father particularly since our relationship will be adult longer than the time you were a child

Yes, as you’ve said since I was a girl.

Nice you listened to me

she laughed gayly 

it was infectious

he laughed too despite not knowing what he was laughing about

  her laughter simmered 
                           Yes, I listen to you . . however, truth be known, whenever we talk I dominate our conversation; least I can do eh?

his turnhis laughter erupted now that he knew what he was laughing at

  subsiding 
             Yeswhell you have the knack for gab
I do.
     I really do.

2102,  Monday,  9  5. 22
1111,  ReggaeFriday – Friday the 13th,  May 2022
Rachelle Ferrell  Individuality  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPtC5u1fpEw

12.5.22


MASTURBATE 
                           Makeya uncomfortable  Shouldnt

You can’t tell people shouldn’t. Moby flushed

Embarrasses you

No. flushes brighter his cheeks like an alcoholics

Your puss sez otherwise shit or get off the pot ya hang your hat on being honest lie to me baldface Whas your hangup
No hang up. 
Hung up
         Definitely  We aint among polite companydon pander to polite

Several people noticed when you said, they looked right at us.

Wouldnt notice
                Aint hungup on wha other people might think  If I wanted to know Id ask them to their face  Interlopers overhearers 
You said it quite loud.

I did yawere drifting on me Better than slap in the kisser Ya know how frequent ya drift

You confuse me.

Ya can interruptask for clarification Aint hard Ill remember where ya stopped me 
                                                                                      can do that
Like I can’t.
Not without a struggle 
                        Its painful to watch Moby

I wish you wouldn’t call me that

When ya dig out from under Ill stop 
                                      In the meantime it sticks like an unstrung spool of flypaper capeesh

Moby twisted like a fly stuck on flypaper  he was reticent to say

Capeesh

Yeah. I follow.

So be a good boy then an suck it up Ya don follow wha Im sayin say so none of this horseshit deer in the headlights act
I see it Ill call ya out  Imagine if I said CUNT
OhJesu . . 
. . Ya think masturbate unsettles people  cunt makes them loses their minds  polite peoplean suddenly everyones polite are offended  cunt spoils their ears  stabbed with a hot spike

But you understand you’re being impolite?

Im not talkin to them They eavesdrop at their own peril I don listen to them

It’s human nature . . but you’re not human.

No  not party to their Homo band of brothers an sisters

 

that conversation didnt happened

it might havecould have

it wasnt beyond him

he was provoked by masturbate
                                  writing it in a letter to his father he sat back  noted the -sturb- in the word  his mind loved his mind they were separate entities uttered disturbed 
                                                             made sense some people were disturbed by ma-sturb-ation

0931,  Thursday,  12  5. 22


   he didntdoodle   doodle

pen in hand pencil any lines he committed to paper became words 
                                                                      not hapless circles squiggles cartoonish creatures scenery seascapes sunsets

he might wonder why he couldnt relax  let go 
                                                but he didnt 
he knew
         he couldnt recreate what he saw in his head so he didnt doodle rather he used words 
                                                                                                     painted with words 
even now aware of doodling he didntcouldnt bring himself to try
WORDS 
         words occurred to him to make up to irritate to describe 
pages filled with print 
                       leave doodling to those artistically inclined

 

Granpaw, did you want to draw with me?

No thank you honey

Do you want to color with me?

No thank you

Why?

Yawanna go outside play catch take a walk

No.

Why

I don’t want to.

So then you see


they built a puzzle

they could do that together

0754,  Saturday,  7  5. 22
1232,  Thursday,  12  5. 22

peaceful coloured chalk protests

protests scribbled in coloured chalk aint vandalism Senator Collins

she knows that

but maybe someone told her it was she believed them then called the cops

he thought she was gullible

if he could hed tell her to her face

breathlessly shed deny it

0949,  Thursday, 12  5. 22
0303preferred,  Thursday
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/01/us/politics/susan-collins-supreme-court-nominee-abortion.html 
Tommy James and the Shondells  Crystal Blue Persuasion  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQgunytVmIU


redemption

 revenge 
             was there an equation between them  a Venn diagram 
 he puzzled
had to dig in

redeem aint fucking couponsaint talkin capons  castratedneutered cockerels fattenedup for flesh
        regain or gain possession of something in exchange for payment clear a debt debt  sounded in kind like revenge
revenge ravenge rawvenge 
                           inflict hurtharm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands
clear a debt
             hurtharm someone for an injury a wrong  a debt incurred

not an = proposition 
                      but in the ballpark  an inside the park homerun was rare

Venning it a large crystallinered sphere of revenge
                                                     redemption far smaller less inflamed  a subset floating inside revenge  embryo feeding off its yolk inside an egg 
                                                    a chip off the old block 
glint in the milkmans eye



Milkman. Yawannashaddup?

Shaddup

Yare dating yourself.

Aint dating fucknah  Being honest called masturbating roll the b masturdating   Shesh

1753,  Twosday,  10  5. 22
1944,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  11  5. 22
When You Were a Smile on Your Mother’s Lips  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHQi1TFRnJU

11.5.22


Did you dream he asked his granddaughter

she was colouring at the breakfast table 
                                           I did.  Did you?

Yes I actually dreamed of your mother it was wonderful I suspect thats because Im here with you and very close to her ashes

she noddeddidnt lookup from her colouring book


What did you dream baby

I dreamed of a very tall man. He bent down. He was ugly.

How ugly was he

Uuughly.

Maybe thats why he was very tall

Oh yes, maybe why Granpaw.

0739,  Saturday,  7  5. 22
1254,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  11  5. 22


the latest catchphrase in case you havent heard in case you werent privy  the latest racist craze  legacy Americans
Thats right folks you heard right 
                                Isdey white? Right on right on holyrollerevangelicals possibly born-again evangelical Catholics they sport dashboard crucifiedChrists Trump bumperstickers right above the exhaust pipe  donya think  anya can bet yer sweet ass patriots wrappedup in the flag red white an blue like a burrito 
                                                                                       he didnt have to imagine
he could see it

  proud title legacy American 
                                 first deadly sin according to St. Thomas Aquinas pride one for one   greed two for two
lust likely  three for three   envy  definitely four for four   gluttony not a lot of slim waistlines  call it five for five   wrath OhYES  six for six   sloth  couldnt say  six for seven   damn near perfectTHEYRE DAMN NEAR PERFECT   

   though
              he had to muse that somewhere in their bloodlineancestry the real ones had family that owned slaves slept with slaves possibly were biracial ssshh  could be a dirty secret

         he was musing

however

musing is thinking is pondering  is wondering
                                                  an the grease in his oilpan wasnt keen legacy didnt fly  rather he thought relic 
              an he might not have thought relic had he not firstconceived derelicts yasee that  see relic inside the word relic Americans  Americana mythic Americana full-of-shit Americana artifacts of a dead time 
                                                                                                           relic Americans wasnt so far afield  neither was artifact Americans

evening,  Monday,  9  5. 22
2337,  Twosday,  10  5. 22
The Great Replacement also on Carlson  a racist one-man rodeo show  https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounders/the-great-replacement-an-explainer 

     as the world suffers the twin cataclysms of greedy twins Trump virus 1,025,104 American dead Putins war tens of thousands of deaths  toss atop the two like gas on a pyre an add’l 100,306 American dead from drug overdoses 

          setting all sorts of horrid records

1059,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  11  5. 22
Dan Fogelberg & Tim Weisberg  Twin Sons of Different Mothers  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx5yiX1ZZzk