brain hemispheres

                       when he asked him which one he identified with most right or left  Moby shruggeddidnt say

Yare not sayin

No.

No Curious  Its your mindyour thought process  One would think youd know

Trying to squeeze me?

Squeeze youyafuckin kiddin me

                                  Its your mind  Not knowingnot saying doesnt cut it

Awright, rather I should have said I’m feeling squeezed, feeling set upon.

Too damn bad Thats unfortunate ridiculous

                                               Yasaid one I don’t have to deal with it.  Yasaid two  I don’t want to think about it.

An I told you to replace think with work, I prefer . . I don’t want to work about it. 

No Work doesnt work not grammatically correct

                                                   Work isnt required works not involved Don try to make it sound laborious  It isnt

It isn’t according to you.

  Woudya stop

                 Seems to me yare tossing a coin Don have to deal with it Don want to think about it For someone whos concerned about their mental acuity brain function their memory as you purport I believe thinking about what yare doingyour decisions would be criticalwould be beneficial ifya challenged yourself to be mindful Instead ya hand it off to electronics let the gas company electric company mortgage company other entities help themselves to your bank account and trust they wont fuckup

                             They fuckup their fuckups usually benefit them an because yare so casual about it yamay or may not find their mistakes You in business of making interest-free loans to businesses who eventually on your dime on your time will admit Oops So sorry

I don’t want the hassle. I don’t want to write a check, have to find an envelope, a stamp, walk to the mailbox . .

. . So fucking inconvenienthuh Got to be mindful man

                                                          It ever occur to you why I know your kids grandkids birthdays an ya don

Flex that muscle in your skull

Yare becoming a simpleton

Not a good look on a Matchdotcom resume

1537,  ReggaeFriday,  15  4. 22

1052,  Saturday,  16  4. 22

he walked along the towns main thoroughfare  

had he walked it long enough it would take him across the railroad tracks the ironworked bridge over a subterranean river and beyond into hayfields livestock pastures stables barns and domiciles

                                                                                    Not something yasee every day 

he said it out loud to hear himself  

to verify he was conscious lucid awake

he read as he walked

ahead of him two women walked

he guessed Mexicans Latinas   jetblack hair their shortsleeved white tops contrasted with their coffeecoloured skin

the one nearest the street curbthe taller of the two also wore a deepblue vest at the distance between them he saw what must have been a floral pattern running down her spine collar to hem 

they walked faster than he were pulling away

he read more

glancing up to take in the lay of the land before him he saw the smaller woman the one to the right was shorter now

he mustnt had seen her right earlier

he went back to the book a fascination passage

                                                   One eye socket was slightly bigger with a spectacular-strange blue-white crystal-marble orb in its bony casing, quite a masterpiece of ocular artistry, a tiny supernova of light and line, woven in jagged color, radiating out from a pupil that was not round. This ragged pupil was a hole light used to enter the mule.

looking up again

                  the women were holding hands the smaller women was shorter yet  and younger  what had been long braids were pigtails now

were his eyes playing tricks on him theyd been known to fuck with himmess with his mind he reset  looked down then back up

      NO was seeing what he was seeing they were pulling away from him their steps cadence quicker than his  they walked with purpose he was strolling  reading 

he began reading again

they got into his headdistracted him he had to looked again 

                                                               the small one was now a child half the size of the woman in the vest walking nearest the curb

he heard the bray of a truck

                              it emerged from a blind alley quicker than it should have  he startled the driver maybe because he was standing still at a stop short glaring at him he returned a sheepish expression its all fun an games until someone gets run over the look wouldnt have been sheepish if he kept walking the driver would have been horrified he wouldnt have been able to brake in time

he stepped backwaved the truck by

                                     they obviously needed to be somewhere   he didnt

it rolled past its tall dull white box obscured his vision

he looked after the women again

                                   could have knocked him sideways with hummingbird shit

the woman in the vest carried a baby he could see the crown of its head in the crook the elbow of her left arm

he stopped and watched her walk until the road veered right disappeared behind a row of hundredyearold live oaks

   he cleared his throat

                         he said Thats not something yasee every day

heard himself again

approximately 1440,  Thursday,  14  4. 22

1550,  Thursday,  14  4. 22

pg339  Pity the Beast  Robin McLean

they slowedstopped their vehicle in the middle of the quiet neighbourhood street to yak with the postman who was delivering mail from his truck

                               Mike! How the hell are you?

Hey guys, well I’m well, what’s with you two?

he sat in the passengers seat Moby carried the conversation

                                                                 Fine fine, hiked, had coffee, heading up to Joe’s for beers.

Sounds tasty, finish my route, get home, I’ll crack one, think of you boys.

Mike was a junior high student of Mobys small community

                                                               he grew up in Chicago  couldnt imagine relating again or even seeing teachers who taught him school was a revolving door for educators and students alike each were almost anonymous to the other once a yeartwo passed  ships in the night

                                                                      Mr Carter was different he lived in the neighbourhood lived on the same uptown block as the movie theater lived near enough they could beat ass to his place and lose the ushers who chased them their job to keep kids out who tried sneaking in

                                                                             it was a kick likely Mr Carter had his suspicions as they panted at his door  when he opened it they pushed in shutting the door quickly behind them Christ couldnt have felt more secure in his tomb than when the stone was rolled into its opening as they did when Carters door was shut tight

Well laddies . . upta something, abit o' mischief? who talks like that only the English

No sir

Come now, I was a lad once . . methinks you’re trying to blow smoke up my arse. 

arse they loved it who talked like that only Mr Carter

Yah a weebit of mischief Mr Carter he admitted the others cringed Blowin weebit a smoke nough to tickle fannies but donchanaw think fannies ought be tickled

Mr Carter furled his brow he had an expressive manytimesfolded brow  Ahyes lads, ya are funny.

 

a white pickup approached them from behind Mike it wouldnt be able to go around

Mike glanced in the rearview

Moby was in the middle of an old story if he didnt tell it all if he stopped he wouldnt remember where he stopped or what his point was

                     fortunately his stories werent usually entertaining  

with the whole of the windshield before him he saw inside the pickup where what looked like Mom an Pop  their teenaged daughter seated between them the parents looked none too enthused looked absolutely dour  the teenager was bright a twinkling lil light a firebug blinking in the night he couldnt help but smile she returned it

                                                                                                           Best move Moby 

I’m almost finished . .

. . Mike leaving you a real cliffhanger To be concluded next time eh

Catchya guys next time.

I’m almost done.

Later Mike he looked in Mobys ear  Drive

I was almost fin . .

. . Were not holding up traffic on account of an old story about a pickup bball game

                                                                                        shaking his head he returned his gaze through the windshield  he recognised the girl ahyes Betty Boop she grinned bigger wha a cutie her old man glowered so did her Maw  bookends

                                       Whell shit

as they pulled forwardpassed nodded to them acknowledging their patience Moby asked Well shit what?

I know her Betty  Shes got a bit of a belly 

Who’s Betty?

Teenager in the truck Seen her around Theyre up a few houses on the opposite side of the road from my place Ran into her a weektwo past as I walked an read   she asked me How do you do that? she seemed humoured by it   Years of practise I told her I noticed her bump she was wearing a shortie top her midriff exposed tight belly I asked Howya do tha   her humour frothed to laughter Oh you know . . teaser, I’m showing it off because I wont have it long, my parents aren’t letting me keep it.

Her parents . . I recognise them.

Yado

Yeah I do. This is queer. I’ve seen them at church down the road from my place; buddy buddy with the priest.

Whell could suppose a good thing to be nearer God

Nearer God? You don’t believe.

I don They do

Yes they do.

Wonder how many votive candles theyre going to have to light

Votive candles?

Confession absolve sin  From the Latin votum  promise dedication   prayer

                                                                                 Can imagine theyll have to keep a firehose nearby

Jesus.

Paints an innarestin picture    

1607,  Thursday,  27  1. 22

1143,  Thursday,  14  4. 22

https://aleteia.org/2017/07/30/why-do-catholics-light-votive-candles/

hungup on timehe was

saw 1243hrs 

               missed 1234

looking again saw 1324  in 18 minutes itd be 1342

                                                        lookedSHIT earlybird    1340 

lookingagain  1342

                    he was on a roll

nextup obviously 1423Yah

                                follow his drift 

                                                  POPPED INpremature  Awsorrybabe got a bit of spooge on your skirt

1414  early though a nice figure

revisited the clockfaceGOT IT  1423

1432 next sssh

               BAMcrushed it

then the run was over

                      over as suddenly as it begun 

he didnt play with the secondhand numbers ran too fastNO  never had been interested in sloppyseconds  had been tempted by sloppythirds though thought he was going to take that to his grave nevertheless he learned his lesson 

                                                                                                                  drew the long stick  there were three  hed been blessed with the number 3 3squared  9 his favourite number

                                                                                                          by the time it was his timehis turn hed straightened upNO nonot his cock

                                                           hed been INebriated  but by that Time he slipped OUT of INebriation

walking into the mobile home bedroom  standing at the foot of her bed

                                                                         her legs spread wide 

Whellshit he aint never seen pussy like that

                                               UNappetisingImagine unappetising pussy  toothless jaws chewing unseen meat an unseen cudcunt cud susurrating  blowing shinyiridescent cumbubblesWET shewas SLICK shewas  her pubic hair matted parted grown to her thighsup her belly  bush wouldnt do it justice WEEDS  tampeddown swampfern

looked carnivorous pitcher plant venus flytrap cobra lily butterwort monkey cup Australian sundew big floating bladderwort OhNo nope not only was he OUT of INebriation OUTBuhbyeSolong he gave her his best Elvis impression

Thankya thankya  thankya very much  Thankya thankya very much BUT NO thank you

                                                                                                  took her by the ankles closed her legs  back pedaled

for his sober denial she threw the bed stand lamp at his head

had he been INebriated he might not have been able to avoid duck it  

it smashedrainedglass against the thin adhesivewoodpanel metal door

Timeilltell 

Twosday,  12  4. 22

828 preferred to 2028,  day-between-two-Ts, 13  4. 22

Zeppelin  The Battle of Evermore  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJik3FPyoQE

late  latenyghtynightie  been up since 3  O lucky me 

                                                             been gallivantingTOO MUCH PLEASURE buwhas wrong with that

didnt end up on the wrong end of the gun IM BACK

                                                         Hiya https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIPS4LyveJs

Nice to be alive

                  Pinch yourself to remind ya ifyare too thick to realeyes 

2234,  Twosday,  12  4. 22

    to whom or womb it may concern –

Im inspired

anxious

losing my mind

if it comes back without me

keep it for me  please

Im leaving on a jet plane to parse Unknown

middle of night,  Sunday,  3   4. 22

Peter, Paul and Mary  Leaving on a Jet Plane  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVEATF7VNTk

  2345

        that was the time

good time to shut things down put up his shotglass and bottle put away his rampant imaginings if he could

                                                                                                                             they often got the better of himfollowed him into the bathroom hung around during his toiletry followed him into the bedroom helped him pull down the blanket sheet pull the pillows apart so theyd lie be to either side of his head enormous mammaries

HA WORD hadnt uploaded mammaries in red it underlined it a possible misspelling possible WORD was a prude  he imagined the pillows as breast they helped him sleep anwhy not there was nothing like sleeping with a breast pressed against his face

he laidclosed his eyes 

nuzzled his head side to side cool cotton skin

his imaginings leaned over him 

breathed in his face

Time for sleep boys an grrls

they may be deafhe didnt know visual creatures

                                                    they didnt talk to him

it was harder for them to seep into his head if they didnt have his eyes as portals

Portals closed gang Go away

only the stubborn ones persisted

                                   persisted until he began snoring

 

WAKE UP! an go to sleep.

Jesus elbow caught him in the ribs Wha Whas goin on

You’re snoring.

Snoring

Yes.

Snoring

Yes yes yes. 

Yasay  Wakeup an go to sleep

I did.

I breath through my mouth busted my nose too many times ya know that

Then quit breathing.

Ouch  

Saturday,  2  4. 22

1823,  Monday,  4  4. 22

he went to two colleges

No  not graduate school

dropped out of both

                     school wasnt his cup of tea

dodging the Draft his parents enrolled him at Chicago Circle Campus

he lasted one year and a quarter

during that time he turned into quite a good pool player 

                                                          met and hung out with a huge black man he called niggercouldnt enunciate his African name Shaddupjust shaddup . . Ya call me nigger, I’ll call ya polack.

they shook

they worked nicely thrashed black and white bar tables across the city their mélange I like that, nigger said  incited provoked games had too much fun made plenty of cash

                            

the Draft croaked

his parents werent happy

someone needed to keep an eye on his grandmother so they moved him to Florida enrolled him in college there

he was Out inside two years 

while therethat first Fall he discovered to his dismay that the college had a Homecoming  Circle was a commuter college no dorms students socialised by convening and participating in anti-war marches that were blastedbusted up by cops on horseback who acted like polo players  exciting stuff

Homecoming in Miami  Bread was the headliner at the dance

Are you going? he was asked

ChristNO  Doesnt this high school bullshit ever stop

1730,  Saturday,  2  4. 22

1041,  Monday,  4  4. 22

Bread  I Want to Make It with You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFeKe15zOAU

he and his wife were involved parents

honestly she was involved

                              he was muscle

she had been her high school senior class president

he hadnt a clue who class president was in any of his four years

their daughterstheir eldest was Student Body president her senior year had been class president the three preceding years their other daughter was class VP first three years also senior class president like her mother 

                                                                                                          he was muscle

but he was involved up to his eyeballs they needed a damn thing he was on it

his parents werent

his wifes parents werent

as a matter of fact throughout high school his parents never attended a soccer basketball baseball game he played in

they didthey did however  attend his freshman year first band concert when he had to play a fifteen–measure solo to open the performance on a baritone sax six weeks after picking it up for the first time

                                                                                          it was their first and only showing couldnt help but wonder if they hadnt expected him to fall on his face

he rationalised their four-year absences because he was the eldest of seven first four in four years took some breathers thereafter

           and because their hands were full when their hands werent full he was obligated but because their hands were full he respected the demands upon them

they did not interfere with his athletics could suppose that was the trade-off

he was good with it

when family growingup rather was open discussion he discovered he was an exception his wife was an exception

perhaps that was part of their solace and attraction also their ribald sex

he didnt feel the need to defend his parents

water under the bridge

he explained simply described it akin to juggling his parents were juggling seven children

                                                                                               When I was taken out of the mix I was one less ball to juggle one less egg to fry  there were rarely few who picked up on one less ball one less testicle to juggle

                  his wife would smile sweetly subtly shake her head

 

Suntime,  Saturday,  2  4. 22

1414,  Sunday,  3  4. 22

Fifth Dimension  One Less Bell to Answer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBrbu7PvMU0

he asked Moby what time it was

guy always had his iPhone on him

they were sitting in deepseated resin lawnchairs with arms in Mobys backyard  he began contorting to get his hand into his front pocket for the phone

NAH never mind

Moby quit wrestling

                     but while Moby had he imagined a constricting boa wrappedround his arm and torso Wha time would you guess

Suntime.

     Suntime

               Dig it  From here on out whenever I don know wha time it is during the day Im labeling it Suntime

Really?

I am Yamay have a streak of genius  An I mean like it streaks naked on rare occasions

he tilted his head like a dog like one of those dogs on the poster where dogs are playing poker

                                                                                                    You mean it? It’s like a complimentyou’re not quick with compliments.

Anyer not quick 

                 Yes  I meant it as a compliment

Moby tilted his head to the other side

he almost leaned across the table to scratch him behind the ear

                                                                      almost

he asked what time it was because whenever they got together got high had beers something untoward or remarkable presented

           like going to Church and suddenly Christ gets down off the crucifixcan hear his hands and feet POP then drops down behind the celebrant groans a little He stretches He rotates his shoulders turns his hips leans from the waist to touch his toes while Hes down there He looks at his wounded feet and hands shakes his head  wonders if it was worth it 

              then all stretched outwarmed up He dismounts the altar begins running laps round inside the church a stille omgang  silent circumambulation counting laps He raps on the confessional doors the priests and penitents as he goes by

You were saying

I was saying?

About dinner last evening with your Matchdotcom date

She has a name.

Which you need to remember Im good with Matchdotcom  You ate where

She picked the place.

She always picks the place

A burger place.

Lotsa burger places in town More Mexican though

I think it was called Village Burger, on Santa Rosa heading out of town by the college.

Good burger

Yes ohmy, I had an elk burger. They have a variety of burgers, random meats.

Random meats

Yes elk, as I said, there’s also bison, boar, ostrich, salmon . . lamb, turkey . random meats.

Cannibal burger

Cannibal burger?

Roadkill burger

Roadkill burger?

Arya just gonna repeat me yasaid random meats  I was being randomthinking of readily availableaccessible meats squirrel possum coon deer he broke out into song Some cats and rats and elephants but as sure as you were born the loveliest of all was the unicorn  Irish Rovers 

                                                like throwing a stick yelling FETCH but holding a meaty bone in the other hand  Moby was stuck in limbo

aww perplexed lil dog   Jiminy Crickets

                                            Was riffin on random meats

Are you being serious?I never know if you’re serious or not.

If we didnt have to wait on FDA approval Id eat  anything

Are you being serious or not?

Are you high

Yes . . I am

Im getting there 

Suntime,  Saturday,  2  4. 22

1306,  Sunday,  3  4. 22

Irish Rovers  The Unicorn  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfhZ4rw6R4g

he worriedworried

                    What shall we do what shall we do the pots dry the ink run out he was frantic  despairing

then as was his deliberate fortune he woke his hypnopompic state turned tail and ran like hell it was only in his dreams that despair occurred to him aneven then  rarely

pots dry inks run out 

what was he going to write

what story did he have to tell

whats a storyteller without a story

whell shit fell into his lap 

Robin Dunbars off base

why religion persists

                      hed ask why myths conspiracy theories and gossip persist they are titillating to be sure antinomian religions provide the dispensation of grace that in which only faith is necessary and mankinds moral law what is right or wrong is of no use or obligation to the religious one fuckin huge fig leaf

he believed Dunbar generalised

                                  “There are at least two reasons why religions persist. One is the fact that, on average, religious people are generally happier, healthier and liver longer. For better or worse, they also have easier deaths when the time comes. Awwyaah YHWH HORSESHIT The other is that religious people are more likely to feel they belong to a community.” 

              cliques he remembered high school people falling over themselves to belong made him nauseous Groucho Marx his priest I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.  give that man a cigar  hed keep one for himself

to be fair he was a reincarnated mountain man

at long last here we go againhe smiled giddily “A way a lone a last a loved a long the end of Joyces Finnegans Wake beginning of it riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by commodious vicus or recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.”

            Dunbar concludes “Thus, you could no more have a world where religion was cast aside as superstition than you could have one without science and stories.”

Anglicanism its last known sin-eater was Richard Munslow who died in 1906 aged 73

sin-eater

         ifya don know look it up

he could lead a horse to water but the horse was welcome to drink or not  NOT his job

middle of the night,  Sunday,  3  4. 22

1144,  Sunday

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/mar/28/the-big-idea-do-we-still-need-religion?utm_term=624945f466a3b220cdc0e306c78ca107&utm_campaign=Bookmarks&utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&CMP=bookmarks_email