he hummed pearshaped boy to Billy Joels Uptown Girl

                                                         he wondered if he could make the lyrics fit

why woudhe

              because thats the way the conversation went

free formed

frankly he listened

                   for the life of him he couldnt remember exactly wha kicked off the reminiscence they were talking about grade schoolmaybe  grade school   as kid how you coudsee something coming inevitable irresistible  Natures Way* see other kids nature but were too young to put things together

Moby riffed on pearshaped boys he knew

                                             You remember? 

he didnt have memories of boys except for the few he hung around with

                                                                            I cant say I remember pearshaped boys from school  Nah Excuse me  onemaybe Michael  Micheal yeah  was nothing athletic about him  soft  Is tha whaya mean when you say pearshaped boys  Like birthing hips on a chickbut to be sure that didnt occur to me until high school  Not until I got a couple under me  Remember Debbie she said The softer the cushion the better the pushin.  Wha  Ohcomon! Wha  Never the softer the cushion?  Debbie I don know wha the hell yare talkinbout  Well, bouttime you did, come with me*.  HohoOHSHIT

                         she took his handshowed him the ropesGAWDDAMN she loved converting virgins 

However man ya gotta remember I grew upwas raised in Chicagothe Midwest Not here where you were born an raised  Howdoes that work

How does that work?

Yah Born an raised an yare still here

    I like it here.

Like it here he mused as he said it   Home

Yes, I suppose . . home.

Theres no place like home Dorothy

Sure.  Why not?

Probably because I havent found that place  If I had to say it was the house I grew up in but thas been razed

                                                                                                                   Might suppose Im homeless Don get me wrongthis will do Followed my wife here this was home to her She was most comfortable here

I can be comfort most anywhere except Chicagolove visiting visiting family theyre all still there  Love leaving better

I don’t know what that’s like.

Yacoudnt

          But good for you Must be like churchgoers in the sense that they derive peace comfort solace belonging while gathered

          Im not a gatherer

Like my own company

                         But no matter  You were saying pearshaped boys

Oh.  Yes. A lot of them. I knew a lot of them in school, lots more in grade school than middle or high.

Id be careful who you said that to who you told

But I did.  Why?

No judgment Seems an unusual admission

                                              I remember school girls rather than boysHell for that matter I scarcely notice guys now Unlike you and how yare always noticing guys running

You gotta go there?

Fact is you do

                Wanna call me a liar

I wouldn’t . . . but I believe that speaks to how observant I am . .

. . Fuck you seeing guys run aint observant

You never notice.

I don They havent anything of interest to me

 

Billy Joel  Uptown Girl  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-0Oect0nVQ

Pearshaped boy

Hed been living in his pearshaped world 

I bet hed never had a backstreet guy

I bet his daddy never told him why

Im gonna try for a pearshaped boy

Hes been living in his white bread world

As long as anyone with hot blood can

And now hes looking for a downtown man 

Thas wha I am

And when he knows wha 

He wants from his time 

And when he wakes up

And makes up his mind

Hell see Im not so tough

Just because 

Im in love with a pearshaped guy 

Yaknow Ive seen him in his uptown world

Hes getting tired of his high-class toys 

And all his presents from his uptown boys

Hes got a choice 

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh 

Oh, oh, oh, oh 

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Pearshaped boy 

Yaknow I cant afford to buy him pearls 

But maybe someday when my ship comes in

Hell understand the kind of guy Ive been 

And then Ill win 

And when hes walking

Hes looking so fine

And when hes talking 

Hell say that hes mine 

Hell say Im not so tough

Just because 

Im in lust

With a pearshaped boy

Hes been living in his white bread world

As long as anyone with hot blood can 

And now hes looking for a downtown man

Thats what I am

Oh, oh, oh, oh 

Oh, oh, oh, oh 

Oh, oh, oh, oh 

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Pearshaped boy 

Hes my pearshaped boy

You know Im in love

With a pearshaped boy

My pearshaped boy

You know Im in love

With a pearshaped boy

My pearshaped boy You know Im in love

With a pearshaped boy 

My pearshaped boy

after 1600hrs,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1208,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

*Spirit  Nature’s Way  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvQa04JP73o 

Jimmy Page/Puff Daddy  *Come with Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxQ0hSAoAFY

she shookshook her fist furiously

                                  she cried Seize the moment! Seize the moment!

she was working him into a blithe lather

                                           Hold on hold on girl I think the phrase is seize the day

There are too many moments in a day, I can’thaven’t the imaginination to seize an entire day.

gulpingswallowing hopefully comedically enough to pull her down off her rearing horse

                                                                                            then acting asif in a daze

Maybe maybewe could leave seizing the moment alone for a bit at least until I recover

she giggled

              Leave it be? maybe she had an idea

Please youre agitating it too vigorously Maybe ya could take it down to a slow stroke  Seeeiizzee the moment

An maybe we should leave it be or slow it down . . why?

                                                             her eyes were sparkling  she may have had an idea

he didnt think she did

she thought she might

                        Slow it down.  Why?

Because if you maintain your vigorous shaking Ill likely cum before either of us are ready

                                                                                             My cocks nickname is Moment

Was given to me a long time ago  Ya got a moment? by a high school friend who was killed in a car crash just after graduation Its how I honor her memory

                                          I always had a Moment for her its edifice is not of sorrow but of complete unadulterateif the adults knew they would have killed us of complete ridiculous elation joy an  I think I got a little something on your dress

                           Spotted dresses or skirts were not cool She didnt think I was funny when I mentioned polkadots to throw her parentseveryone off the scent

                                                        I aint wearing polkadots woudyawear polkadots?

    Nope

End of conversation

She was a great friend a great fuck

We she reminded me were sluts

339preferred,  Saturday,  19  3. 22

533preferred,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  3. 22

Billy Preston  Will It Go Round in Circles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFHMdY9HijM

she was a big girl

she was twothree inches taller than him

he was six foot

blonde hair wavyalmost curls

the thingbout big girls is that even if proportionally their breasts look small theyre still huge

she had the backend of a quarter horse big muscular  could probably shove a beer bottle in it crank down pry its cap off

    thumbs up all good 

he liked women who looked like they could beat him in a fistfight

then if he got into a fight shed have his back

women dont run they step up

theyre fearless

he couldnt say that about most guys

he had scars to prove it

he reallyreally liked her huge redrimmed sunglasses

 

she was ahead of him in line

he had a couple items

she turned saw what little he had tipped her glass down on her nose he saw her bright blue eyes they were related everyone who had blue eyes came from a common ancestor  that was long enough ago so if he had sex with her it wouldnt be incest she asked if hed like to go ahead of her OhHellNo Im happy right where I am  You have a great ass  he thanked her but declined

she smiled

she may have heard his OhHellNo and then some

her father stood ahead of her

stood a head taller than she

He can wait. We were ahead of him.

He has two items, Papa.

He can wait. If you were here by yourself you can offer, but not when you’re shopping with me.

I offered. He declined.

Don’t do that. We were first.

she pushed her glasses back up her nose

he watched her hips twitched

looked like she wanted to kick something 

 

she bagged their groceries placed them in the cart 

her father pushed the cart

turning to follow she tipped her glasses again and made blueeye contact with him Have a beautiful day.

I will Thanks for helping it.

                              he winked

she flinched gathered herself smiled huge  winked back

a day without flirting is like a day without sunshine

 

in the future at the market hed keep his eyes peeled

couldnt mistake her

2pmish,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23 3. 22

1459,  Day-between-Two-Ts

he didnt usually pay much attention to people who stood in line at the market

not his line

or others

if he had to stand in line he brought a book to read

                                                     Whell  he did sizeup shoppers who used the Self Check-Out  that corporate line screaming DO IT YOURSELF BECAUSE WE’D RATHER NOT HELP YOU  WERE ONLY INTERESTED IN YOUR MONEY  nevertheless they still had to keep one two sometimes three employees hawkeyeing six machines that werent programmed by high-end programmers  revolving pale green lights went off when either the buyer or the machine or the pair disagreed  if he had a disagreement hed rather they have a throat  if necessary   all he could do with a machine was yank its cord out  now if it could bleedmaybe  maybe   hed consider standing in line to assault one

today wasnt a usual day

                           the next line over a woman her back to him converged on the cashier as he did  if they hadnt he wouldnt have noticed

she looked athletic that always drew his attention

she was tatted which rarely drew his attention

Manoh man, she’ll really fit said one of his internal attendants

She is

No, she’s really fit, look at her shoulders, her arms, their definition, bet she’d hold her own if we wrestled.

We don wrestle

Given the proper opportunity we’d wrestle . . you know we would.

That wouldnt be fair Theres more of us than her . .

. . Maybe she has friends, like we're friends.

Maybe

Yaoughta ask.

Not going to happen She came to buy groceries not to be approached

Since when?

Since a while still dancing with Trump virus  Almost a million dead . .

. . But we aint . dead.

Please A little respect

                        Be satisfied admiring her

she stepped to the end of aisle to bag her groceries  baggers must have been manning the Self Check-Out machines  

Well, thanks for seeing, she’s really fit.

She is

I’d say . she’s fit to be tied . . up.

Tied up

Yah don’t you think, bondage tied up? You’re good with knots, a sailor, a fisherman.

                                                                                        She’s getting away!

Awwell  guess Im not much of a fisherman

We didn’t try.

Ey did not Eys in control

Ey was just suggesting extracurricular  circulatory   activity.

Keep the old heart pounding eh

Pounding . . like how that sounds.

My lil degenerate

We is.

Get no argument from me

Suppose we’ll just have to tell the tale about the one that got away.

We will well wend a salacious tale

Yes yes, you’re a storyteller, I bet you'll tell a hot one, a real humdinger. What color cotton bondage ropes?

You tell me 

approaching 1600hrs,  Thursday,  17  2. 22

1117,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  3. 22

Jefferson Airplane  My Best Friend  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqIbbrq5SQk

he thought what he needed to get his day jumpstarted was a smoky cup of Joe

whell hed concede horror would do it too

Vlad

      “Any people, and particularly the Russian people, will always be able to tell the patriots – thas an interesting word to call someone who is held by the throat in a stranglehold – patriots from the scum and traitors and spit them out like a midge that accidentally flew into their mouths. I am convinced that this natural – NATURAL? -- and necessary self-cleansing of society will only strengthen our country, our solidarity, cohesion and readiness to meet any challenge.”

definitely jumpstarted him

                           jumpedup ran to the bathroom and vomited  didnt need that

0952,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  3. 22

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/17/1087287150/putins-warning-to-anti-war-russians-evokes-stalinist-purges 

as he handed him a bottle a beer he asked if he wanted a Koozie for it

Huh

Koozie. Want one for your beer?

  No

      he was mystified for his beerfor the beer he just gave him  hed swap him out with a cooze 

                                                                                                     that didnt seemed right

A cooze

Cooze?  What? No, it’s called a Koozie.

Whas called a Koozie

This. he held up a sleeve set it down slipped his beer inside it Keeps your beer cold.

will wonders never cease

                            Is that neoprene like a wet suit

Neoprene or some other kind of foam, I couldn’t say.

Ive heard of em

                 Thasaid he was pretty sure his eyes were twinkling if yawanna slip it in a cooze an she don mind Im in he laughed wrilyhe wouldnt want to run into a pussy that could comfortablyaccept let alone hold a bottle of beer

                                                                                                                    Poor baby

What are you talking about?

Talkin cooze

What’s that?

almost dislocated his neck occipitocervical dissociation he knew that because he was horrified when he learned there was such a thing Is tha a thingan internal decapitation

                                               Whas tha yakiddin me

Are you kidding me? you’ve heard of a Koozie but not seen one?

I havent

         I drink my beer not sit with itChrist he was irritatedirritated the guy didnt know wha a cooze was not a coose an annoying broad but a cooze  Man were getting off on the wrong foot I apologise   No thank you

You really havent heard of cooze

You really haven’t seen a Koozie?

maybe he preferred the wrong foot

                                    No I really havent Seems extraneous unnecessary Frankly it seems feminine cosmetic Hahah he laughed to himself Koozmetic

this wasnt going to get better cut to the chase

                                                Cooze  Ya can look it up its in the dictionary a sexually attractive  an available woman

                  Thanks for the beer                    

he walked away from the picnic table to join the others jibberjabbering in the backyard

after 1600hrs,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1040,  Twosday,  22  3. 22

Guess Who  No Sugar Tonight  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ij38StJfEk

Whas the point of conjuring if you don get a piece

she smiled into her hand

                          unable to remove her hand because of it she asked I’m . . I’m not sure I follow.

Likely cuz yare grinning like a hyena . .

. . You . .

. . No you ya cant stop your eyes grinning from tear duct to your attractive Egyptian flare  Kohl or kajal  

her eyes bugged a bit

                       Anya know either why?

Couplethree women I dated May sound abrupt chauvinistIm not but I could tolerate their makeup Most women Ive dated have on occasion worn mascara  frankly they didnt need it they were natural beauties Out of a bath or shower freshscrubbed  exquisite

her eyebrows ascended

I know exquisite when I see it

                                 I like whayave done If we were to scrub you down I could make a better assessment

This play into the conjuring you mentioned?

No

her hand fell 

the smile stayed though less  now bemused

No?

  No

      Though I understand the confusion

Help me.

Happily The piece I was referring to point of conjuring was writing a piece not a piece of tail or ass  I like tail better  You

Oh.  OH tail of course.

Your brain went right into the gutter

                                     Don get me wrong I like that in a woman too It just wasnt wha I meant

he winked at her

Are you . . areya spoofin me?

 Am I

       Which part

her smile turned into a wolfish grin

I like ya kept your hand away from your face

she laughed out loud also didnt cover her mouth

                                                     he liked that even more

approaching 1600,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

2209,  Monday,  21  3. 22

    who said

               “. . factions subvert governments, render laws impotent, and beget the fiercest animosities among men of the same nation, who ought to give mutual assistance and protection to each other.” 

                                                                                         SURPRISE  was a long time ago

he couldnt resist quoting  too apropos it bleats the heinous time weve been living in since America kickin the can down the road canvinced itself it needed Bozo at its hellm

since  Bozo proved more ghastly than he thought  miniMes begotten the Republicans fooled him  he thought they had testicles  their newfound iteration necessitated geldings  nodders  Whaeveryasezbossman 

                                                                                                    Bozo likes supplicants they were so supplespineless they could suck their own cocks  which was amazing  he didnt have to sneak off an find a debauched bachelorette party to see 

                                       IT  WAS  AMAZING he took pictures in case someone didnt believe him  they werent deepfake productsNO he wasnt crossing his fingers behind his back  

 

Who

   David Hume The Sceptic  Essays Moral and Political 1758

Who?

   had to expect that

                        if 54% of American adults from 16 still galled him to 74 couldnt read at a 6th grade level their arithmetic would be shit too  young adults couldnt make proper change unless a machine told them how much  they didnt write  THE THREE Rs?  then how the fuck could they possibly know a historical figure let alone a philosopher  

historical 

philosopher 

four syllables

big words

hurt brain

    he crossed his fingers

he hoped he was being ridiculous 

                                   being hyperbolic

Heres hoping

round 1400hrs,  Monday,  21  3. 22

2338,  Monday

She doesnt strike me as a Polish girl

She was born in Buffalo, New York.

Lots of polacks there granted   I read my obituary there

                                                            when he spoke as a matter of fact he alwayswithout a doubt  threw him

he threw him

               he counted in his head one two three for five six seven eig . .

. . What?

What

Did you say you read your obituary there?

   Yes

       It really take you eight seconds to ask 

Your obituary?

An obit in my name I almost went to the wake to check out my widow one two three fou . .

. . Widow

    Four I like it when yare invested

                                       Yes my widow

threw him another curve stymied him

But you’re not dead didn’t die . . you’re married.

His widow   My namesakes or I his or as luck would have it Death darkened his doorway gave me a wide berth Im not one to take a bullet for anyone

 

I’m . . I’m . .

. . Seeing a Polish girlso ya think From Buffalo

I am.

Authentic Polish smattering of language culture food family still in Polan . .

. . I don’t know.

Eat head cheese.

Head what?

didnt have to count Head cheese cold cut a cold cut terrine to be exact forcemeat prepared with aspic  usually madeup of a pigs face cheeks fee . .

. . Stop. A coldcut; you eat it?

I adore it

         Head cheese My mother and I relish it  Yaoughta play the head cheese card

Head cheese card?

                    he sneered 

Don knock it until yave tried itYes  Card

How it is a card?

How long ya been seeing this girl from Buffalo

On and off, what, you know, I told you when I met her . .

. . Yare seeing her not me  Yaoughta to know how long its been

I told you when I did.

     Yes

         Not my relationship   How long

he didnt even start counting that would have been bruising Not knowing is problematic Yare long past the Use-by Date freshness date  Yare the guyyare supposed to be fresh forward  forge where things go or not

Fresh?

Salty provocative sexual 

I didn’t want to throw her off.

Throw her off

               By my estimateNO  An correction  been seeing her since before Christmas

Have I?

Have you

Man . . I think I have.

Not to belabour the head cheese card

                                        Head Sexual innuendo  Have you even hinted sex gotten fresh get cracked or catch a look that she thought to slap you

No.

Whell man If shes authentically Polish like me yare dead in the water

                                                                          Yare a buddyboy

after 1530,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1517,  Monday,  21  3. 22

Led Zeppelin  Whole Lotta Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKXN88tjeMY