they vied back and forth all night at a bar with friendsher friends he happened by  was invited into the fray by someone familiar with him  nothing offlimits  politics sex religion  politics   the others were guardedconcernedworried to offend not themthey were at each others throatanyones who dare wander in her friends wearied probably because they werent getting a word in edgewise

they started falling off said goodnight heading for the doorover their shoulder Don’t kill each other.

maiming was more like it

                          they werent stopping

she wouldnt shut up

                    not that he wanted her toshe made legit arguments which was refreshing not glib Oh Looks pretty talking points

she pressed hers

 

at long last  Last Call   he bought them another drink   Girl Talk talktalktalk

                                                                                   You attempting to filibuster me Think raising your voice me raising mine you yours me mine that somewhere in that youll bury me Got another thought coming I got a big mouth Im from a family of eleven anif ya think for a moment yare gonna overcome me think twice  Im the eldest of nineused to putting down hopeless rivalries squelching minor players said players meant punks despite brothers and sisters  they were late to the game through no fault of their own

                                                                                 If need be if I hafta he sighed Ill crush ya  Canya please give it a rest

she glared hot  though to her credit shed been volcanic throughout the night

                                                                                seemed to him she was someones little sisterlikely several someones little sister  he got it  shed always been digging out from underworking it since she was a kid

she wasnt his kid sister he didnt give them any quarter either he liked her spunk though  unfortunately dancing with him he wasnt allowing her to lead

                              Bestplease  ya shaddup listen up

he wanted to grab her by the throat

he would 

but he didnt wanna

finally air went out of her like a toy balloon leaking from some place she was aware of or could stop

                                                                                                         she smiled deliciously

he smiled back

like boxers begrudgingly might after a draw decision is declared

     Hear that

                 Quietude

she sighed Yes.  she wasnt defeated she was exhausted

Im not the enemy Im not party to whoeverwhatever your angstyour colic is about But we do disagree  A lot

You’re not claiming some kind of collateral dama . .

. . No  no   ya havent damaged me Im saying Im not part of that contingency yare railing againstdesperately looking for

    Might wanna look elsewhere

There an or or else attached?

  There is

             Wanna keep filibustering me . .

. . Filibustering?there’s more to my arguments.

Awright  I concede

                     Still rings in my ears  filibustered but rather  cleverly Id prefer to he smirked bust your cherry

Cherry?

Wanted to bring sex backaround into our conversation

Cherry. Hmm.   Been done.  there was a shade of niggling acquiescence in her voice

hed take niggling  he pressed

                                 Yare pretty blatant   

No not at all.  Water under the bridge.

Better under than over a dam  

Yes.

I can pretend  Im excellent at pretending  As a matter of fact  I can pretend well enough for us both so good you might believe you were

You’re ah  tempting.

Havent we been tempting each other all night

that delicious smile again

Lets call a truce 

Truce!

My place or yours

3ishness PM,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1129,  Thursday – St Paddys Day,  17  3. 22

the phone rang inside the house

                                   Better get that, expecting a call.  he leapt up out of the resin chair almost knocking over his beer on the small plastic side table between them

steadying the tablehe almost lost his beer too called after him

                                                                  Didnt think you could still move like that

a woodpecker clinging upside down on the woodframed chimney eyed him

                                                                              Quit your skulking he said to it  Yare not predatory

it continued eyeballing him 

                            maybe it was  thatd be novel  rappedstabbed by a redheaded woodpecker Rapped  get your head out of the gutter the bloody assault played out in his head as Moby came out of the house onto the steps leading down to the patio

                     Yo  he held up his empty beer  Why don ya grab us a couple more  Yare almost done

Yeah. Okay. Right there.

                           the hop was no longer in his step  figured he got some unwelcomed news

 

he handed him a beer

Whas the news

Awh, Mabel ain’t making it out today.

Wha were barbecuing tonight

No. She asked for a raincheck.

A raincheck Shes begging off

She begged off.

Not good enough

he chuckled

             Not good enou . . 

. . No  I wanna see her beg I wanna see her on her knees beggin 

                                                                     Call her anave her send a pic of her on her knees beggin  Shes got my number   Got my phone

You got your phone?you never have your phone.

Left it in the car last night Didnt take it out before I came over

You left it in the car?

I didnt need it

What time was that?

Before six

What if someone called you?

They should have called the house phone

That’s not an answer.

Answer is if someone called my cell eventually Ill get back to them Not at anyones beck and call   You

I like to be available.

You got yours on you now

In my pocket.

Shoot Mabel a text Want her on her knees begging You can tell her its my demand she threw a wrench into the works I was really looking forward to haranguingharassing her  Shes a card

Okay. Sure.  I can do that.

 

they didnt expect shed play

Mabel did

a selfie  

on her knees

they opened it together side by side  figured she write something like Suck my cock!

naked to her waist 

                   Jeezus they chorused

Yaah  better tell her wed like her to cash in her raincheck real soon

                                                                        You move

I did. Knew she had a rack.

                              they gulped in chorus

probably  1450,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1234,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  3. 22

J. Geils Band  Centerfold  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf-wg 

Tell me if you’ve heard this before.

    Heard this before

                          Yare telegraphing

Telegraphing . . what are you talking about?

You realise how often youve said something terribly inane following  heard this before

he looked puzzled eyes slipped askew his brain working hard he could smell oil burn

     he wasnt being hyperbolic

No.

     I think you’re yanking my chain.

Trust me Im not

I’m not inane.

I didnt say you were I said what youll say will be

It’s funny.

AwJeez ya remember

Remember?

Thought I could sidetrack you  give you time to forget wha yawere going to say

I wouldn’t.

You do

        You do you know you do   Please

Okay, but not this time.

Curses  Foiled

You ready?

Lemme sit down

                  they were hiking he sat on the dirt trail

You’re being ridiculous.

Im comfortable being ridiculous

he sighed crossed his arms over his chest

                                                Comfortable?

I am Let er rip

I think you should understand you snatched away the continuitythe flow of the joke . . otherwise it would have been spot on.

Yare making excuses  Continuity usually doesnt end in inanity

Jesus, trying to spoil my fun.  Here goes . . Never a proud man gets out of a cold pool.

                                                                                          then he laughed at his own joke 

created Inanesquared a rare mathematical equation

1445, Saturday  22  1. 22

1112,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  3. 22

Beegees  I Started a Joke  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZWKR2zJESk

Go Vlad

         https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10619493/Putin-says-Wests-attempt-global-dominance-coming-end.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/tfkw4w/vladimir_putin_earlier_today_russian_people_will/ 

he scratched his head 

                       This is how a world leader speaks  he took Putin at his word that he understood his provocation hopefully Russians understood he was also talking about them  

Vlad put his foot in his mouth

                                 perhaps a goodthing the little man has little feet

554preferred to 1754,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  3. 22

COMPLETE  THAT  SENTENCE!/or ANSWER!

                                                                                   he could hear the TV studio audience thrillcheer

it aint be it ought to be a game show           

if everyone had to contend with Moby his lame-o buddy they may have imagined the game show too

                                                                                                          Moby frequently held him in suspended animation not suspense waiting patiently  for him to complete his thoughtwhatever it was that he rummagedpicked his way round inside his skull looking for  under things in drawers closets Where did I put thawha . what . . . what was I looking for?

whatever he sought to say respond to it took its sweet time   lingering disconnects sputtering reconnects

if he asked him a yes-no question he didnt like thempreferred elaboration conversation he could hear the question reverberate rollround

                                         eventually Comon  Its YES NO flip a coin

 

When he loses his train of thought I . . .  COMPLETE  THAT  SENTENCE! cries the audience gleefully in unison

then random participants are handed a mike to elaborate

some answers were better than he imagined maybe because they were objective

he pocketed a parcel for use later

he hoped the pilot would get picked up

                                         decidedly it would improve his life

but in the meantime

                    Comon man he thought  not a Life or Death decision Speak

234preferred to 1434hrs,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1029,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  3. 22

he went to lay down in a hot bath to ponder the production of a game show banging around inside his skull called

COMPLETE  THAT  QUESTION/or ANSWER

                                                         however no sooner had he been immersedtaken a sip of whisky he was overcomedivertedshellacked by thoughts of Ukraine

he was curious 

when he got out of the tub he checked to confirm what he believed 

Turkey is under NATO protection Erdogan is an autocrat calls himself presidentBULLSHIT 

Hungary NATO Orban autocrat calls himself presidentBULLSHIT

Poland  NATO  Duda  autocrat calls himself presidentBULLSHIT 

                                                                            if NATO is going to protect autocrats play nice then it ought to secure democratic Ukraine a historic emergency membership and closed its skies

PUTIN he is not Russia if he wants to play brinkmanship wants to threaten biological and chemical warfare wants to threaten nuclear weapons

                              Call him

Russias economy isnt that of Texas

                                     for that matter Texas could secede from the nation  Mexico can have it back

You don’t mean that.

   I do

          I do

1018preferredPM,  Twosday,  15  3. 22

https://www.quora.com/Who-has-a-larger-GDP-California-or-Russia 

Diarrhea, man, don’t you think it’s holistic?

Really   Over coffee

Don’t you think?

You going philosophical on me

                                   Over coffee  

his features pinched 

                      Philosophical? Maybe.  How do you mean?

Whell I know your guts been troubling you since your procedure  so questioning if its holistic can also mean medicinally

medically speaking   Im looking for clarity so we don get lost in the weeds

What do you mean philosophically?

Im taking your reference holistic  to the whole of mankind

features pinched again looked uncomfortable

                                                 You mean whole . . or hole?

Whole Why hole

Because it’s you. Which one?

Were getting lost in the weeds Whole Complete  Its intimately interconnected and explicable by reference to the whole of humankind

             Better yet you tell me  Its your ask

I was thinking, having it, suffering it, everyone has, therefore it is all-encompassing.

Anwha brought this on  over coffee

I’d been toying with it. I’ve had lotsa time on the pot to muse, so since no subject is taboo between us, which you usually bring up, I thought I’d get out ahead of you.

he applauded him

people on the deck looked were perplexed

looks didnt stop him applauding

he stood still applauding walked around behind him stopped slapped him on the back

                                                                                            Yaknow the only misfortunate aspect I can surmise is that in order for you to muse you gotta be sitting on the pot

We’re at coffee.

he sat again

              We are but you didnt think up holistic diarrhea here

No. No I did not.

But I like that the cogs and gears are whirling even if it not while youre standing on your feet

                                                                                                  Thats progress man keep the ball rolling

Thank you.

Anything else

the bulb went out he went dark

                                  he hated thinking so it but it was moments like these he saw his head suddenly turn into a mature dandelion plant a puff asexually reproduced apomixis agamospermy anhim blowing real hard his head coming apartdispersing leaving a shocklingly naked brainstemnaked reptilian brain composed of dull yet prettilyhued bits midbrain pons medulla oblongata

                                          the teenytiny seed parachutes going off with his breath dancing  but thankfully unable to implant in black soil

Nothinghuh

Nah. Shot my wad.  Holistic diarrhea was all I had, all I brought.

Thats awright

                Its a start man

1419,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1549,  Twosday,  15  3. 22

Chicago  Beginnings  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI-BMDnti4c

whas temptationwhen   was he last tempted

    thinking bout it

rapped on his front door heard it over Common  maybe Ja Rule 

                                                                    opened the door wisely pulled waay back

though some ridiculous part of him wished he hadnt

                                                            Com’on man toss the dicesee where they fall

Nah                                                                         

Ya think this is going to happen again  Called opportunity

Nah not opportunitythey aint no opportunity  their makeup lacks sincerity 

the brunette had once upon a time lived across the hall from him when she was little

she recognised him in the parking lot

You live here?

surprised himself he recognised her too

Moved in in the spring 

My girlfriend lives here.

Likely I might see ya around

 

Like your music. playing innocent

Whas up

         they looked feral would hang him out to dry assuage their parents or parents guilt then stoke and inflame them to grope for selfrighteousness thatd be unlike them

he had daughters

wasnt stupid 

Its called opportunity

ridiculous was stupid

given his druthers hed brain their parents or parent for not yankinghard on their chains long ago reining them in  Christ

he had no doubt push come to shove these two would finger him cryingweeping He, he should have known better.

Hit the road girls Ive been played before It didnt work then

                                                                         ignorance really is bliss

which wasnt to say he wasnt tempted

                                        the blonde looked really nicelike an Orange Julius touched with strawberry topped with a brightred candied cherry and stem to hold her by

                                                          she would have been delicious  he remembered being a teenager

but really nice isnt tempting enough to risk trouble

Blow Yare stupid thinking of trading your bodies for liquor You should be motivating guys your own age  When I was a teen we plied our girls with liquormoved heaven and earth  sometimes it felt like it too  to procure line things up make things happen  

Com’on Beat it

                he almost caught their tails in the door when he shut it

Tellinya  opportunity man 

Shaddup

           Not by a long shot

2138,  Monday,  14  3. 22

1124,  Twosday,  15  3. 22

Zeppelin  When the Levee Breaks  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28ZOwVAZS0o

they were high

               sitting outdoors on a flagstone patio in resin frame Adirondack armchairs with the sun on their backs

they were really high

talking

       even when they were straight his buddy found his subject matter bizarrehis exposition incoherent

he wasnt incoherent

                     Moby just couldnt keep up with his flightshis streams of consciousness

no Thar she blows!

he interrupted

               Excuse me, excuse me . . you don’t mind . excuse me.

unlike him hed know where he stopped and could pickup afterwards

                                                                         Sure

Could we sit very still a while and not speak, just listen.

Im game

they shaddup he shaddup

bright shiny silver white silence

Moby lived remote in the hills

wildlife silence is loud

 

in the distance over a tall dense reef of live oak a huge black bird appeared wings wide gliding dead on towards where they sat 

it was descending descending

    lower  lower

he motioned Moby with his head to its approach

Moby looked up

still on glide flawlessly still descending   appearing larger and larger

                                                                         extraordinarily large

his imagination tickled him rife  Harbinger of Death lacking only its wicked sickle  why not

        descending

             ENORMOUS

silence shrieked

                 Best look lively bro vulture thinks were dead

Mobylurched he startled him

                              the vulture veeredright not fifteen feet over their headsnot twenty feet away

they made eyecontact

didnt look like a vultures eye

Christ man when was the last time you showered

1351,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1141,  Monday,  14  3. 22

Esbjorn Svensson Trio  Still  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR6VrIkzY5g

wasnt their day

they were still pretty tipped

Wha kind of bird is that

                         Moby was a boider

Where?

Just off the steps beneath the feeder moving this way   Appears ravenous

There.

The only one

You know its name.

If I did I wouldnt be asking

I’ve told you its name many times in many different places.

Ya quiz me In one ear out the other Im no boider Im not fascinatedother things occupy my mind

Maybe if I don’t tell you I might pique your interest.

No That would be a mistake   Be the exteacher you are

That’s a towhee, bigger than a sparrow, kind of spastic in flight.

Looks like its stalking us  Eats seed correct

Seed and berries, acorn, plum and apricot, during breeding season supplements its diet with insects.

Is it breeding season

We’re on the cusp, why?

the towhee continued hopping towards them

                                               Because this one appears to be stalking us  I wouldnt put it past it to embrace palingenesis rebirth regeneration suddenly go Cretaceous on us  devolve into a teethy velociraptor

Feels mighty like its stalking us

You’re being ridiculous.

Hahah  Last famous words theyll find blood an meatbits an wonderscratching their heads What happened here?

the towhee brazenly continued hopping towards them

Shit. You’re creeping me ou . .

. . Time for another beer . .

. . Sure.

when he got up out of the resin Adirondack chair for the beers the towhee didnt spook  he gave it a wide berth as he walked past  the towhee didnt spook

                                        such is the breeding season

Moby might have to submit to sex

 

1415,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1252,  Monday,  14  3. 22

Tucker Carlson 

                 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lSgEJNW8B4

reporting from Moscow

  passport revoked

at long last to sing Motherland Sweet Motherland deep into the Mongolian night

2306,  Monday,  14  3. 22

he didnt have big hands

but he had excellent handeye coordination

his hands were strong

therefore evenif they were overwhelmed by acting in unison he could catch anythingeverything he could touch

they were exceptional for sixteeninch Clincher softballs

                                                         and big tits tits that looked so much larger because his hands were small 

and girls who had small breasts also liked that their breasts looked bigger in his hands

he was a commodity

he didnt mind

he relished it

 

while handeye was a happy happenstances there was something more at play  he was incentivised

obviously touching and holding girls incentivised him

however unknown to others was another quotientwhich he realised  he was compelled it was performing before loved ones during softball games at summer family picnics  

they were held at a lake park 

it was now a Nature Center  

they werent really lakes they were lagoons   stews

he played first base

the diamond was inconveniently setup by Park District not thirty mitres from a lagoon

any bad throw he didnt knock down or catch for the out or missedlet past him frequently ended up in the water

and hed have to go after it

no one was keen to play first base except him

he had good hands 

 

family appreciated him the game was harder to play with a slick waterlogged ball

and he appreciated the girls       

2121,  Sunday -- Uncle Earl played shortstop,  13  3. 22 

1011,  Monday,  14  3. 22 

John Fogerty  Centerfield   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq3hEMUeBGQ

   

Russian war crimes

evidence

a shrapnelsmashed incubator amid rubble in a Ukraine maternity hospital

start there

1650,  Friday,  11  3. 22

1047,  Monday,  14  3. 22