. . . with your whole life ahead of you.

comforting words

whaif  what if a person doesnt have their whole life ahead of them whawords do you utter now

rather than the crapshoot ya told em Ya have your whole life ahead of you

                                                                              too many he knew died overseas

he thought America after the Second World War would have been better served sending the senators representatives the President and his gunho Cabinet over  pat them on their backs tell them You have your whole life ahead of you

 . . . your whole life is a lie

                                  although it does sound something dandy

a friend survived Trump virus

when he thought he was doomed he asked his wife Let me go, please let me go.

                                                                                    she communicated that with the ICU nurses and doctors they removed him gave his bed to someone who didnt vaccinate  they died   without extraordinary help he survived 

he was back to status quo though weaker status quo was contending with dialysis  his kidneys weaker

what would he tell him when he was able to visit through glass at the rehab center  Ya got your whole life ahead of you

hed tell him

            Ya havent had your whole life until it is over You didnt know what was coming your way when you were a teenager a young man Ya hoped but ya didnt know   Every days a gift Read the card Untie the ribbon Unwrap it slowly

Yesterday you didnt know youd make it to today tomorrow ya got no idea about the day after

thats ones whole life

a day at a time

relish it

2118,  ReggaeFriday,  15  10. 21

1402,  Sunday,  17  10. 21

Jewel Akens  The Bird and the Bees  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8fLheex1nA 

https://www.brainpickings.org/2021/10/13/alain-de-botton-normalcy-breakdown/

  

Wha are ya talking about

                          he saidhe was late as he walked up behind four pals who stood on the paver patiocalled em beer gardens outside the bar their drinks on a tall heavy café table they disregarded the stools

Ahshit . . great timing! one said without turning around You’re gonna stand up for ‘em. the others nodded

The ringleader has spoken Any of yaguys have an original thought without megaphone Mikes broadcast

                                                                                                              Monkey says monkey does

Wow! Not even a beer in, Mike nodded not even knowing what we’re talking about, you gotta jump down our throa . .

. . Yare the one talkin Provocation Yare gonna stand up for em A real leap of faithI know ya follow your wife to church yave said as much . . Mike

it got chilly

the three others eyeballed the toes of their shoes

he still hadnt joined the sloppy circlewas just offbehind Mikes shoulder

Yawere saying . . Mike

Mike turned slightly to face him We were talking about fat girls

Girls or women

                Weve had that conversation before

Fat women.

Whabout em

             I ask only because you guys aint the pick of the litter aint prime choiceaint  ones to talk

We’re not fat.

Yare stout  Not a sixpak among youme neither

But we’re not fat.

Nah A guys gotta get mighty fat obese before someone calls him fat

                                                                       On the otherhand if a woman hasnt a stellar bod mind ya no such woman would date yaguys if ya werent married  were dating because the playing field isnt level  Yad have to work for it to get a glance

You’re something else, I said you’d stand up for them.

We agree fat is cruel

Not if it’s deserved.

An yare the arbiter

I know what’s fat and what isn’t.

Althoughapparently you don know the difference between a girl and a woman

 

Ive forgotten why were we meeting tonight

                                             I don think it was to discuss fat girls  

one of the others said We hadn’t seen each other in a while and we thought it would be nice to get together for a drink.

Ah  Nice

1521,  ReggaeFriday,  15  10. 21

1215,  Sunday,  17  10. 21

 

hed wake in the morning after a hefty night of lifting dreamsfighting his way out or traipsing tenuous labyrinths without Ariadnes helpthe Minotaur snortinghot on his heels no cinema wire to fly from wall to wall to keep out of reach poor Minotaur like the disfigured Hunchback of Notre Dame Poseidon couldnt resist himselfhad to have his finger in the pie  he sent a pure white bull to Minos who ruled Crete revealing his favour the bull was to be sacrificed to him but Minos owing to the animals beauty could not so as Gods and humans are petty Poseidon made Minos wife Pasiphae fall in love with the bull and bewitched or beGodded Pasiphae had Daedalus the craftsman fashion a hollow cow so she could mate with the bull same Daedalus who took the gig to build the Labyrinth where the Minotaur was held

seemed Daedalus got the clean end of the stick

                                                              until Minos caught wind he made the cow

imprisoned with his son Icarus clever Daedalus collected feathers and devised wings for their escape but Icarus flew too near the sunwho listens to their old man the beeswax melted and he plunged to his death into the sea  the sea  which seemed to him better than filthy city concrete anall the gawddamned people crowding roundsniffing blood later telling their psychiatrists what the explodedmeat Rorschach meant

                                                               which would have been revealed from above for posterity by intrepid New York Times Washington Post Wall Street Journal photographers  with their fucking iPhone or Android

play with a bull ya end up getting a horn

but mornings hed wake and before he could make his bed he found himself with a snoot full and have to stop get a handkerchief blow his nose

                            also seemed that going from prone to upright filled his bladder

which he emptied first was a coin toss

if he was a betting man it would have made for a more interesting morning

nose emptied

bladder emptied

bed made

he hustled to clean the catboxes and feed his ferals inside and out

                                                                     an during his hustle an antics he entertained himself with remembered dreams and WHY THE FUCK did he have them because he believed his dreams werent overnite entertainment but rather germane to his life and existence

with cats cared for coffee brewing he wrotefilled journals  journals that were every bit as filled to brimming as was his morning nose and bladder

0951,  Thursday,  14  10. 21

1729,  Saturday,  16  10. 21

Joni Mitchell  Big Yellow Taxi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94bdMSCdw20

Counting Crows  Mr Jones  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oqAU5VxFWs

 

he realises it every time he does it an it doesnt matter how long hes been doing it

                                                                                     it tickles him at a base level

as a kid film was accessible only at the theatre or as re-runs on televisionchecked the TV GUIDE as soon as it came the theatre wasnt a hit or miss he knew the twin-bill he was going to seecartoons beforehand through the door fifty cents popcorn fifteen cents box of Jujyfruits or Jujubes five cents sometimes he got a Dreamsicle from the vending machine in the lobby a tall pale green machine ten cents  

with the advent of VHS tapes video rental placesPalaces old movies new releases damn near-immediate gratification

slip it in the slot it was and has been much like sexlike fucking particularly for a guy   a kneeling blow job

DVDs are little different like communion press a buttonplatform slips out like a tongue a sleek gloryhole

                                                                                                              Body of Christ

Praise be to God  place the wafer on it he just found out Communion wafers can be bought at Walmartfuck Walmart  he was sure Satan had controlling interest in it  pissed his wife off when she wanted to go  he went with her but didnt go inside   You’re not coming in?   he finished her sentence Again  Have I ever gone inside . in all the years weve been together . have I ever   I don’t understand you.   Ive told ya you have religion  I don  if I went inside an saw someone who looked suspiciously like Satan incognito or bore a fleeting resemblance Id beat them unconscious without provocation  We cantI cant afford cops lawyers lawsuits or me penetratedhanging off a pitchfork in the ochre bowels of Hell

Praise be to God

                 he really liked the taste of the wafers made him smack his lips made his Grandmother furious when he went with her

             Vatican says Family Feudish Survey says bread and wafers used in the sacrament must be unleavened purely of wheat . . hosts that are completely gluten-free are invalid matter invalid matter . . hadnt conceived of bread as matter it is . are invalid matter for the celebration of the Eucharist

lay the DVD like a wafer down finger the button it slides into the machine to be swallowed

                                                                                                  very sexual

Yup

    feeding movies into his VHS/DVD player is titillating anhe aint overthinking it

1940,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  10. 21

1241,  Saturday,  16  10. 21

Aerosmith  Back in the Saddle Again  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX8GG3dnsp8

he asked the barkeep for some more peanuts

                                                Ananother beer  the same pleaseAn  two fingers of Redbreast  Please 

he was distractedwas watching the picture on the television screen  it just began rolling  the bartender wasnt able to get it to stop

              a slow roll

actually it made him pay keener attention to what was being said  or explained

the barkeep returned  peanuts beer Irish

                                            he shelled peanutsthrew them on the floor  he was pretty sure if there was a heaven he was sitting in its lap

                                 more so if the roll stoppedsuddenly he was transfixedsmitten by the reporters name flashed on the screen under her chin

                                      Whoa Kenny he said to the barkeep  Whadaya make of that name

he looked  Unique. Kenny wasnt impressed

Unique  thats all ya gotUnique

A mouthful.

Better that’s better

                    Wanna go again 

No.

     Kenny looked down the bar  Excuse me, I think I’m needed.

he didnt look it was early afternoonthings didnt pick up till Happy Hourshours off 

                                                                                       Ya better go  Ill likely enjoy it more by myself

           he took a red BIC pen from behind his ear and scribbled the gals name on the paper held in the Bear-of-a-Clip clipboard he rescued from a trashcan at a military base  he was driving truckdelivering desks for a furniture company  he thought he might be creeped inside the facilitythat THEY might know he refused the draft  rather than report he went on a crosscountry road trip and stayed on it for three years until after Nam was buttoned upHow the World’s Mightiest Power Lost the Viet War was the headlines on the Miami Herald  how he ended up in Miami he couldnt remember the exact circumstances  though honestly in all likelihood it was the port where lots of hashish went through and he liked it  want fresh corn  go to the Midwest  entirely sensible

                                                            the clipboard was functionalthe clip sloppy  a sloppy clip was character  he was a huge fan of character

                                             and scars

before Happy Hour Kenny walked up to him 

                                               Renne called, she traded hours with Evelyn, she said if you were here to let you know. You know.

Thanks Kenny more than you kno . .

. . Ohno, I know, if I wasn’t a married man and have this bar to lose, I’d run against you.

Youd lose

You think.

As yasaid I know 

                    Ya can imagine Kenny lemme settle up  Fixing or replacing the tube 

Awwell, I think I’ll have to enter the future, the wife’s been after me to replace it and hang one or two other screens; you know, appeal to younger clientele.

Theyre idiots Your beers second to none Your place is the only place I tout in this one-horse town

What the hell does that mean, one-horse?

One-horse one-whore Small man small

I thought so; say Hi to Renne for me. Wanna put the drinks on your tab?

I don keep a tab I want you to have your money immediately Don want you going anywhere

Hello Renne he said as she opened the door for him  I had my fingers crossed youd carry out your threatblow off work make our rubber match

Rubber match? I’ve dominated you.

DominatedI took you out back last night and spanked yatanned yer fanny Ill grant ya got the best of meoverwhelmed me the night prior I sensed you liked me though I didnt imagine that much

Didn’t imagine, your imagination is an artesian well, why wouldnt you imagine?

For the obvious reason lookin outside in

Have you always been inside and outside of situations?

For a long time nowa long time I wasnt always patient or thoughtful Now I cant think otherwise My girls say Im mindful now to a fault

                        Speaking of which have you ever heard the surname Goodykoontz  saw a female reporter on television with that name

Lemme guess, erotic images?

Haha must say I immediately thought of your koontz

                                                      Anhow damn goody it is

You sweet talker.

Yaought to shut me up

Before dinner?

Call it an appetizer

I thought we’d call it dessert.

Well call it dessert too

                        I don think Ill ever get enough of you  But its early 

Shaddup.

Yes mistress Goodykoontz

they were enthusiastic

                       she nearly broke his nose

2016,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 21

1339,  Thursday,  14  10. 21

 

he was out the gate

ticked his mother off

she had plans for him

might say he was psychic

thats when he was young

now he was out the gate down the road uninhibited

his mother thought he was terrible

                                    You’re terrible, Joe, terrible; absolutely terribly.   then in spite of herself she laughed

it began with they were enthusiastic gotta pensee cooking herethats seven syllables 

subject

       had to be oral sex two syllables   

description in four boy meets hot girl

action germinated the pensee they were enthusiastic 

eight syllables described setting ‘bout anywhere and everywhere

finally thought in six  so happy he likes it

                                             or adjacent  who does not like oysters

figured this out in nine minutes

oral sex

boy meets hot girl

they were enthusiastic

‘bout anywhere an everywhere

so happy he likes it

                     who does not like oysters

1101,  ReggaeFriday,  15  10. 21

  

  idiot 

        whawas the definition of idiot 

the new Oxford American Dictionary 2^nd Edition 

idiot n. informal a stupid person archaic Medicine a mentally handicapped person Middle English (denoting a person of low intelligence): via Old French from Latin odiota ‘ignorant person’

hed suggest another variant

   theirs a bulletproof plan

                               a white male politician who believes that a womans right to an abortion is their business who believes that a woman should be forced to bear her rapists or her fathers brothers uncles cousins baby who believes that particularly those white women and their forced offspring will have tender feelings for their party and vote Republican in the future

he thought these idiots practised a kind of slow autoerotic asphyxiation leaning on their ropes looking down at their legislation laid neatly on the floor their beltedpants and white underwear down around their ankles as they masturbate

Aw aw YESyes   oooh yes 

                            We’ll make America White Again! Again!

1614,  Twosday,  12  10. 21

1116,  Thursday,  14  10. 21

late at nightearly in the morningthey colluded he liked to take hot baths  tried to melt like the beeswax candle he lit to soak under its flickering halo licked by the breeze through the windowscreen

his cats would come in and check on himalways looking perplexed

                                                                     Really  water Whadahell  then saunter off Nothing to see here

this morning laying there sipping whisky from a shotglass he set over his left shoulder on the molded fiberglass ledge his eyes lazilyabsently closing and opening he gazed up into the corner opposite him where once upon a time a daddylonglegs appleseed he called her  kept a web 

When was thathe had to think when he first met her he wasnt well he was stoved up

a specialist a rheumatologist fantasised it was RA rheumatoid arthritis

                                                                            Yare full of shit doc  Yare cherrypicking didnt listen when I answered the questions ya put to me  Eleven of thirteen indicators ya said  I agreed with only three

Tryin too hard

the doctor wanted to prescribe a drug but before he would submit the prescription he informed him hed have to go to the hospital to establish baselines for his internal organs

                                                            Why would I do that

Because  he looked exasperatedlooked at him over his spectacles because the side effects of the drug affect your organs.

Ah So to alleviate my pain I should fuck my internal organsEver see Andy Warhols Frankenstein doc To know life you have to fuck it in the gall bladder

                                   I don think so

he met appleseed prior to consulting with the physician  she was absorbednegative panic bobbing in the churning water as he ran a bath  he was taking threefour hot baths with salts a day to manage his pain  he used a scrubbrush snatched her up out of the water with it asif she was lint just before the drain

                                                                                saved her life

or rather interrupted her suicidehe saved her two more times

  she relentedconceded

                            she finally made a web in the corner opposite him and remained his steadfast companion for more than ten months before his pain subsided

laying there looking into the empty corner he wondered  How long ago was that

Five years

          hed guess '16

the next day he looked in his journalfound the exact date

                                                            he was righthe related their happenstance later that morning  Friday May 27

one morning mid '18 he entered the bathroomlooked up into appleseeds corner and found her web vacant

he immediately looked on the sink under it expecting to find her body

he didnt

she didnt return

he left her web intact on the offchance she might

they were together nearly two years

this morning in the haloed light appleseeds corner was lit faintly by a nightlight beneath it which cast alternating coloured light  amber blue purple green amber again

he watched herher shadow in that lighting for so long  

remembering made him smile 

he missed her

0020,  Monday,  11  10. 21

1356,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  10. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwHjLMLdnf8 

 

Whadafuckwha was at the back of his leghis calf

he had gone outside pulled some weeds went out to transplant a wisteria his daughter gave himgave him seeds from her wisteria  two years he tried  finally one seed of too too many seeds sucseeded

                                                                                  Eureka muthafucker he cried when he found the sprout his thumb turned the palestpalegreen ever a long time coming

                                                                               I persevered baby he hollered she died a yearanahalf earlier I perseveredya got me baby ya got me tears crept into his eyes he wasnt getting over her death anytime soon he was crippled

there at the back of his calf

                            badgered by a moth a pale limecoloured mothFitting  so very fitting truly badgering him

he brushed it away a couplethree times it kept coming back a bad hombre HA a bad mujer

his daughter had been a bad mujer

                                     they were at a bar together  given their fast affection some clown took exception to an older guy enjoying the company of a younger woman

                                                           push came to shoveshe saw it come into his eyes his old man told him When a fights inevitable throw the first punchWHAM other clowns heaped on himshe leapt on them landed several punches before other patrons intercededbroke up the melee

                                                              she took a shot in the mouth

Lemme see that he said

                          Hmm a busted lip Cold drink or ice 

Stupid question Dad

Barkeep  two cold beers two whiskys please

he turned back to her

                       Thanks for having my back baby  Really   Your mouth okay

It's fine, Dad, he hit like a li’l girl.

   Nah he couldnt help itcrept into his skull souls usually don visit in the shape of a moth right

2108,  ReggaFriday,  8  10. 21

1611, Sunday,  10 10. 21

 

Into the Hereafter . .

. . Wha

Hereafter, the Hereafter.

Wha hereafter

The Hereafter, into the Great Beyond beyond Beyond.

Ya playin with meepizeuxis ya emphasising beyond

                                                       For wha purposeya think theres something beyondbeyondbeyond this . . now . since you met blue panties

he looked irritated Her nam . .

. . Yare correct her names Dodger blue panties

Shelli.

       Her name’s Shelli.

So Shelli Dodger blue panties thats a mouthful

                                                  Seems since youve been hanging with her her religionher philosophy . yare better off thinking of it that way  gets ya around religion has been influencing you  Suppose ya gotta play the Gawd card my friend ifya wanna get in her panties Get beyond the cotton You should understand that the vulva is a very sensitive a delicate area a lot like the our lips on our face 

                                                                  Although your lips have rarely come in contact with lips secured in panties Terrible shame  Lips are a terrible thing to waste

What do you know? he was irate

We being philosophical or existentialI know lips Donknow much about the Hereafter or the Great Beyond I believe this is it

     Rather Ill assert that this is it Yap of hereafter the Beyond a dealbreaker  Like owning a dog

he saw his eyes fall

She owns a dog

She does.

Knock yourself out brother

                           Knock yourself into the hereafter Piece be with youa sly smile greased his lips Shalom aleichem Teach her thatshe may come out of her panties  red meat baby

2333,  Sunday,  10  10. 21

1651,  Twosday,  12  10. 21

lotsa people think dogs are smart because they can be trainedYawanna eat Jack Russell Terriers in England used for fox hunting is that still a thing terriers are ratters cats taught them everything they know 

                                                                                            and cats yacant train themdon even try

a child can be trainedYawanna eat

a cat a domesticated catNever Feral   they aint dog or child stupid

he had evidence

                  he liked cats because they were independentDOGS ARENT and because a cat is independent he or she will ignore him if he wants to pet themclaws present rightfully so if they wanted to be petted then he could but the bright independence they enjoy he also enjoys if they wanted him to pet them and he didnt want to Screw yourself he wasnt obliged he and they were very similar  independent

                                                               he wasnt getting lost in thought  he had evidence

some evenings after dinner he decided to take in a film rather than following the political shows on the computer sometimes he needed a break from abysmal Republicans  after all this is what political death throes look like devoid of ideasany realistic platform cultists theyre scratching and clawing to pervert democracy to deny votes steal elections cant have niggers Mexicans and Asians steal their white country out from under themthey had no intentions of contending with them toe-to-toe face-to-face eyeball-to-eyeball dont need uppity human beings thinking themselves equal to white people so theyre doing everythinganything they can think of to break their spines why they werent learning their lessons upset them

                                   he wasnt getting lost in thought  he had evidence

after dinner on occasion he decided to sit on the couch and take in a film when he did he sat with a clipboard paper and pen his usual red ink BIC pen

hed start the VHS or DVD and one by one his cats wanted him to pet themhe had four

one by one he denied themignored them

he scribbled quick thoughtshe was always thinking sometimes particular films from the library greased him and hed have to pause them to writecapture his thoughts

setting his pen down restarting the film one by one his cats returned and jumped up onto the couch they batted the pen down onto the floor   

he set them down and picked up his pen

they were playing with him

by the fourth he let the pen lay and petted her or him until they had enough then the others would return for their affection

         they only stuck around for ten minutes or so then gave way for the next

unbeknownst to them he kept a red BIC tucked above his right earhe sat to the right side of the couch his hair was long and covered it

                so if greased again to write a thought he took the pen from behind his ear and wrotehe was lefthanded while continuing to pet them

he wasnt as stupid as he looked

evidence

2112,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21

1151,  Twosday,  12  10. 21

Mark Linkous  It’s a Wonderful Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vKhVUhX6_M