Are you really going there?

of course he was going there

it was his Achilles heel 

                         for the time being

he might complain to him it was too soon however he was understanding throughout he listened when asked he offered insights 

                 he was there steadfast for him as his divorce evolved he remained unsparing observant honest

didnt pull his punches 

so he protests 

              but thats a deflection briefly sidestepping the harsh reality of the choices he made he didnt have his ear to the groundcould have been more objective 

                                             he got what he wanted 

Really?

I’m only repeating your words, you ought to listen to yourself when you speak, or . . stop, think . then speak.

You are unsparing.

One of my best, indelible traits, and I say that because I’m also unsparing with myself; it’s nice to have company.

You’re funny.

Thanks, black humour, my favourite; you were saying . .

I was saying that my Ex turned out to be an expensive . .

Say it. I’ve already said it for you, pretend you’re quoting me, may be less painful.

She was an expensive fuck.

She was. 

           Eight years of your life . . at threehunred days is twothousandfourhunred days and eight years at sixty is fourhunredeighty or twothousandeighthunredeighty and eight years at five days is forty is twothousandninehunredtwenty, toss in two for Leap Years, twothousandninehunredtwentytwo days; but who’s counting?

           How many times ya get laid?

It started out hot and heavy.

Yah? 

      What happened?

I don’t know . . it just petered out. 

You didn’t think before you opened your mouth, did you?

1525,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

1316,  SunnyDay,  27  6. 21

 

some people claim they adore watching children run so freeso gay

                                                                       they dont  they are lamenters

what they adore is the memory of themselves as children running 

                                                                     I ran here I ran there I ran everywhere

she did too

she remembers it readily 

                          although she doesnt remember why she ran  she just did 

she was having a fancy latte treating herself 

                                               she assumed she ducked a bullet she was supposed to be having coffee with a match from an on-line dating service but he was ten minutes late 

                                                                            if he showed up now and stupidly dared to approach her she tell him to go to hell she was punctual she expected punctuality out of a prospective date

actually she was itching for him to show so she could tell him to go to hell 

nevertheless she enjoyed her medium latte in a bowl two hazelnut shots an additional espresso shot 

she flipped casually through her smartphone not looking for shit from him looking up occasionally she saw children running in the park across from the coffeeshop where she sat and mused

thats when it occurred to her 

                              she saw a little boy break a handhold with his big sister she assumed they looked like siblings and he began running she groped for himmissing his arm then ran after him

the little boy ran and ran and ran 

he swerved a couplethree times as his sister closed on him avoiding her grasp

finally catching up on his heels she gave him a chuck in the back and he went down headlong on his hands and knees  

a big head is a disadvantage that small children do not recognise 

                                                                    they have to go where it goes

he rolled onto his backhe wasnt crying

she grabbed him by his forearm and pulled him to his feet then began towing him back to where his mother sat on a blanket in the shade of a huge tree with either her sister a relative friend or lover

they were terribly engrossed with their conversation

the little boy was obviously his big sisters ward 

                                                 he was her responsibility

it occurred to her

small children run

they run because the fight or flight response does not apply to them

they are too small to fight

therefore reasonably they can only flee

                                             only run

1426,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

1610,  Saturday,  26  6. 21

he couldnt say where this came from

                                       when yahawk a loogie it wasnt like the loogie had been knockin around for days SUDDENLYan suddenly this pressed on him  needed to be expectorated  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CL8ASLVWPk  a throat full of Vanilla Fudge  thatd do it  he wasnt keen on vanilla 

he couldnt imagine housefly was tasty  yet the phalanx of pussycats he fended for prowled the screen doorpouncing like panthers and convincing him to consider otherwise

he hadnt tossed back a handful of torpid insensate flieswhad he know

                                                                           they eyed himDon knock it until youve tried it  he hadnt walked a mile in their moccasins

                                             he didnt know any Indians either      

the kitkats kept flies inside to a happy medium

which saved him spools of tawdry flypaperwhich saved him picking clean their guts from his flyswatter

both appealing to him 

he kept thinkingtried believing that the neighbourhood would rebound

                                                                          it had been a good working class neighbourhood  people got along  mothers had eyes in the backs of their heads  paperboys delivered or hawked the news  kids went to school to learn and if they crossed a teacher they crossed the principal which meant they crossed their parentscrossed their grandparents of whom many were born in other countries

                                                                  they were colorblind  but those who looked in saw otherwise  they struggled with broken English and learned to understand each other  but those who listened in didnt like what they heard 

it takes patience to learn to see and hear

                                           and without it those outside determined that they werent much better than muttsbelieved them weaklings  and with what they thought they knew  compassion dictated it would have been better had the mutts been strangled or drowned when they were young

                                                                     Somebody took their eye off the ball

now all they could do was assure themselves that the mutts didnt prosperthat they kept to themselves  theyd leave them in their ghettos 

        iron heels werent overseas

                                      they clunked around Washington clunked around the Statue of Liberty clunked aroundrallied around the Flag

they were born herethey didnt originate here

they werentwhy would they going to let loose of the throttle 

they werent sharing good fortune

 

compassion dictatesdictates

                             he supposed that was all he needed to know about them  and that throttle and fortune would have to forcibly be taken out of their hands 

they unfortunately saw and heard and understood that life is zero-sum

1841,  SunnyDay,  27  6. 21

0948,  Monday,  28  6. 21

Bee Gees  Lonely Days  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa2_CL-2ZI4

War  The World is a Ghetto  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIIbT89V7EI 

 

I disagree . .

. . Ofcourse ya disagree Seems where the rubber meets the road we agree on very little  however consistently ya don thoroughly vet my premise as a matter of fact your vetting skills suck Look at the bright shiny object  Ya seem to need little more than that

they were having coffee a dog barked another dog on the patio joined in he was distracted  barking dogs threw him off his game 

              aint much of a game how do ya break that to a guy easy  might call him shit for brains

Ya disagree

he pulled at the shoulders of his jacket adjusted them who makes adjustments alterations at a simple question 

Ya disagree he repeated himself

                                  he hated repeating himself sand in the hourglass had already sifted down and passed the aperture

I disagree, I rarely ever ask a question and answer it in the same moment.

Ya really disagreehuh 

                        I wouldnt think to ask a question of anyone without tendering an answer Ya donthink theyre due to know where yare coming from whaprompted the question

No.

No  Yawanna explain

What’s to explain?

Might save ya from getting shot in the face

What are you talking about?

Im an incensed seditionist paranoid  armed 

                                                I ask  Ya really believe he wasnt cheated out of his reelection

What are you getting at?

Answer the question Ya don know his politics

I’d tell him Trump lost the election fair and square.

Anhe shoots ya in the face because ya didnt vet him properly 

                                                                 Hyperbole ofcourse  However asking a question isnt a rhetorical exercise Therefore when asking a question yare obliged to answer it  Thereby an honest open line of communication is established  No loaded questions or gotchas

I don’t agree with that.

Don agree

No.

No huh 

        Yawanna know wha askin a question an not providing an answer is called

Alright, I’ll play; what’s it called?

An interrogation  Or an in-terror-gation

                                            Seems ya prefer to interrogate people

1500,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

1754,  Saturday,  26  6. 21

 

they were stoned

                  while edibles reminded them of their teen years it was more fun being high when it was illegalwhen cops shook you downconfiscated your grass  pocketed it for themselves or to sell 

best weed he ever smoked he bought off Chicago beat cops 

a uniform who he shared a joint with at a kitchen table in a secondfloor apartment off a Chicagoland timbered back porchwhose apartment it was he didnt know he wandered in a party was full-bore crossing the brick courtyard below he caught a nose-full and followed it  the uniform told him precinct knew who handled the best shit

A win-win situation, man.

Win-win

Yah.

Never heard of it

It’s game theory, you haven’t heard of game theory?

                                                       while twisting up another joint the cop enlightened him 

they smoked it 

You gonna remember what I said? he asked as he sipped a cold beer You look pretty high.

Ya ought to be a detective he laughed at his own joke

                                                         Yah Ill remember he poked his temple with a finger Ive got great memory a steel trap for trivia

Right on, civvy.

 

 

they were Up on 5mg Kiva Lost Farm Blue Dream strain

Worst president of all-time? 

                             he always asked questions without offering his answer

Yare highno competition

Aw come on, it’s debatable, play the game.

No debate

Say.

Former

the interrogator laughedthey agreed not to mention the human boils name after he lost the election 

                                                                                                         Why’s that?

In a word genocide

Someone could legitimately argue, possibly accuse other presidents of genocide.

I might agree however Id propose those were actively pursued 

                                                                  Former did nothing an a hafmillion dead Americans are on his plate Im not forgiving his enablers either  Hands down  historically the worst  wayway above himsecond worst Jackson Johnson just touchin him out for third

Could we talk about something else 

Sure . . alright . your folks still reading the obituaries in the Tribune?

1022,  SunnyDay,  27  6. 21

Man thats quite an admission 

                                 Id stick with that  its honest

I can’t stick with that.

Whynot

An on-line dating app, you want me to stick with that; I’m trying to meet women.

You tryin to make your equation  AgeX over two plus seven

Don’t you think?

I think ideal but few things are ideal 

                                        Are there age-ranges you entered  yer preferences

Yes.

Whaya select

I went with forty to fifty and fifty to sixty.

Cant pare it thirtyfive fortyfive fortyfive fiftyfive Still ten year increments

That wasn’t offered.

Howbout legal to sixty

he laughed despite himself 

                             That’s not funny. 

Not being funny  

                 Expanding your an their horizons 

                                                     Or whore-izens  Denizens of deep throat 

Jesus, man, it’s not on-line porn datin . . 

. . Isnt it  Arent people tryin to get laid

It isn’t . . 

. . Arent ya tryin to get laid

Yes; but no.

Yare ambivalent to gettin laid  Awright

                                         Just tryin to help  Is there a questionnaire ya had to complete

Yes, it was kinda fun, one section they show you four panels with different designs on them and you choose your favorite.

How so

One’s got a circle, the next wavy lines, the next crosshatched, concludes with an abstract.

Thats psychologically obvious 

Hmm . . I suppose it is.

It is 

     Ya gotta describe yourself

Yes. They provide twenty, twentyfive descriptors, you choose four.

Whaya choose

It’s not as easy as you think.

Yadidnt go cub scout

Cub scout? What are you talking about?

Lemmesee if I can remember  he closed his eyeschecked his files he held up his right hand index and middle finger held together 

                Lemmesee   On my honour I will do my best  to do my duty to be squarehated that  square man really  to be square an to obey the law of the pack

That was amazing!

Think that was amazin he hadnt opened his eyes yet  he unearthed a treasure trove  Better give yourself some room I don want you pissin or shittin on me 

                                         Step back

he shuffled his feet but didnt move

STEP BACKya havent I can feel your space still pressing against minemy proxemics

Your proxemics, Christ.

Step away I donwanna be soiled

Tell me.

Ill tell ya  Mother says take three HUGE steps back

Mother, may I?

Good Ya remember the game 

                               Yamay

he took three steps back Better? 

Yes  thank you 

                     Yaready

This better be good.

Hold onto yer head I suspect this will blow your mind Its like on a placard like one our den mother held up so we could recite from it

Blow my mind.

A scout is trustworthy loyal helpful friendly courteous kind obedient  betcha wemens dig obedient submissive  donmind being trussed up spanked . .

. . Would you jus . .

. . Kind obedient ahcheerful thrifty brave clean an  anya can ditch the reverent bit

What the  fuck. 

                  That was amazing.

he opened his eyes they were rheumy from straining them in the dark wasnt like Moses burning bush Yahweh appointing himDon point at me thats impolite Doncare if yare Yahweh 

                                                                          Jesus  I was all of eight when that indoctrination started up  I was out in two yearsnot my cup of hemlock

That was unbelievable.

Thank you Were any of those words part of the twentytwentyfive descriptors to choose from

Fuck, I can’t remember now.

Yahoo  Can yaremember the four you chose

Kind, was one; I was reticent to choose intellectual, but there wasn’t another intelligence offering.

Id agree with kind

Kind?

Yah

Not intellectual?

Middling 

                       Sucker 

What? Sucker?

Yare

Are you equating kind with sucker?

I am

     Maybe yare intellectual after all

Thanks.

Yare welcome

                 But I think ya ought to return to the site and edit it

I don’t think I can.

Go back to the site and learn if you can edit itya completed it in the last couple of days Id think theyd offer a cool-down period to reassesshuh

Possibly.

          Why am I editing it . . again?

Really

I’m afraid so, really.

Suppose ya can lean on I blew your mind

You did, that was awesome.

Okay ya don have to shine my knob 

                                       Go back to the site and edit it to the simple statement ya shared with me  Im givin ya a hint

I  shared   with you?

he rolled his eyes the strain was easing it actually felt goodfelt like he was stretching a tight muscle 

                                                                                                           Yasaid  I quote  I just don’t want to work that hard.

 

after 1600before 1700,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

1242,  Saturday,  26  6. 21

Beatles  Help!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKUex3fci5c 

                            he had to push to one side or the other or remove 4X6 photosnaps in order to get to the books on his studio bookshelf  his three-volume set of Mark Twains autobiography Umberto Eco David Foster Wallaces Infinite Jest considered his magnum opus 

                                     which stood happily beside Berkeley Breatheds Bloom Countys Opus the Penguin

Anwhynot

            if he was literature or a comicbook or porn hed be happy and righteous standing besideabreast his leafy page-numbered brethren and soulmates

he wanted to get at Consider the Lobster but recognised he had to wash his handshis fingernails to remove any scabparticles or moist blood from picking them  Lobster was a first edition

Would you quit picking.

Would you leave me alone

You keep picking at your scabs, you’ll scar.

Do you think I care  My skins smooth scabs are like scales like Im a lizard a snake a fish besides I like the small pain from picking them 

                   theyll help me manage larger pains I know are coming down the pike  Im mighty careless throw my body around

Are you admitting something? 

                               You’re upsetting me.

Maw I think being an athlete requires a prescribed sense of masochism obviously a sense of sadism inflicting what pain you can on an opponent 

                          See wholl back down  So plucking scabs is an satisfying appetizer  a prelim to bigger better things

Better? How better? 

If I get the better of them

        

2337,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

https://www.npr.org/2015/10/12/447117474/bloom-county-and-opus-the-penguin-return-after-a-25-year-hiatus 

Steam Down feat. Afronaut Zu – Etcetera  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL6mMhkkyL4 

she looked at himgave him the stink eye

                                           next up he thought she was going to tell him to go fly a kite 

Wha yawant I should sleep in the bed Ive made 

                                                  snake the words out of her mouth

that would irritate her 

                        she always had words to sparewords left over  anif given hafachance shed spew them so ya couldnt walk away for fear of steppingslipping on them  anit wasnt like ya could sit on a stoop or a street curb and scrape them off easily with a stick 

he always felt bad for the green sticks he cut off bushes or trees with his jackknife because he killed the stick  but he needed something stiff and supple at once to get into the tight places he needed scrubbedcleaned away 

                                                                                                             words  if aged wrung of their essence  smelled as bad as dogshit 

Wha

her eye hung on him

blatantly he checked his fly to make sure it wasnt open 

                                                          Would you stop? I’m your mother. 

Donhang onto that as some kind of lucky charm Maw  donwork on me  your other kids maybebut not me 

Whas on your mind

You’re very rude, you know that?

Ah  I learned from the best 

                             Its uncomfortable to be on the receiving end isnt it

her eye grew larger 

                         then  I was talking with your aunt he had eleven an she rarely said who without being squeezed  as far as he was concerned she might as well have said someone they said

My aunt She thinks whaya think or did she need to be convincedsee the error of her ways

Goodness, you’re a pain in the ass this evening.

Nah nah  Im tired Im not innarested in a tete-a-tete tonight

Well, if I’m brief, may I bounce something off you?

Bounce yamay Bounce an brief almost rhyme  Yes briefly

Briefly.

Then please bounce

Your aunt said Once we know something, we can’t unknow it . . what do you think of that?

I followI appreciate her premise however  I would refute her

Refute her? How? Once you know you can’t unknow. 

Maw, we forget much of what we learn

0048,  Monday,  21 6. 21

1026,  Saturday,  26  6. 21

Vibration Black Finger  Sawalha  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkleepl-w8I 

 

 

it riled himgot under his skin when people talked casually about soulmates a given yaknow  Hey  got a TicTac 

he hadnt gotten past the first requirement 

                                           to have a soul 

cant have one without the other

if soul then whaif one does and their mate doesnt through no fault of their own   

or is the assumption everyone has a soul 

                                           what about the manipulations churchy folksMormons  who believe they can bandy about with souls proxy-baptism JesusChrist  a queer door swung wideopen

anif everyone has a soul then all living things have a soul 

                                                              but aint it like human beings to bestow something onto themselves yet deny others other earthlings 

You think a stone has a soul?

Possibly when it was malleable forming if one believes in souls then yes  however when regarding a cold stone like a cold dead body likely that soul has hastened away               

possibly to align with yet another improbable soul-thingy  reincarnation 

he was not convinced 

                          however he would admit this  if . . if  one of a pair of soulmates dies the survivors comfort is knowing they will be reunited if they can remember with their love again in the past or the future

 

he was fortunate to fall in love three times 

                                             although he could not say or did they ever agree to call themselves soulmates

1738,  Thursday,  24  6. 21

1209,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

Vibration Black Finger  Empty Streets  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hetKrh9W9EU

https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/are-mormons-stealing-grandpaps-soul/

 

Wow Man ohman he thought as he shook his head in disbelief hed seen some shit some oddirrational things  but comon using yellow adhesive tape rather than paintinglacing the breaks in the concrete sidewalk to identify them so the public wouldnt trip and fall on its face was ludicrous

                                                        the tape was peeling in disarray Have Tape No Paint a play on an old black and white television show Have Gun--Will Travel  

he was walking and reading he wouldnt have noticed although he wouldnt have tripped it was only because a teenager curtly hustling past him tripped on the crack it flagged step on a crack break your mothers back  always pickin on mom  a classic spastic stumblestumble down on his face  he wasnt agility enough to dig outregain his balance 

Damn probably hurt a-bug-up-his-ass’ pride had to be embarrassing

gathering himself off his face on a knee on his feet he turned on him Are you laughing at me?

Are you awright

Are you laughing at me?

I am not are you awright

You think that was funny?

Since yare awright actually   yah 

                                    Ya didnt see the flimsy yellow tape on the crack Yellow Caution

he hoped the red growing in the boys face was embarrassment the boy would be mistakin if it was anger

                                                                                                               he looked a bit like a cartoon thermometer before it burst under a smiling hot yellow sun

suddenly the boy turned on his heels and fled up the sidewalk away from him  an promptly stumbled on the next taped crack 

he didnt go down though 

                           he yelled after him YARE GETTING BETTER 

the boy ignored him 

he opened the book Joan Didions Let Me Tell You What I Mean to read as he began walking again

he had lotsa practise 

                      been doing it since he was a boy

1337,  Thursday,  24  6. 21

1046,  Reggae Friday,  25  6. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F63ImH5tk28