11.5.21

 

 

Que sais-je? 

What do I know
               wha did he know

he knew wissenGerman meant knowledge 
                                            wha I know 


he didnt know in German realise was realisieren detect erkennen also realise verwirklichen understand begreifen determine feststellen 
                        feststellen might stick fasten stellar a memory schtick  a gimmick 

playing it out stretching it דעת is knowledge in Hebrew pronounced da’at he had da’ates in the morning with his black coffee 
        wha he knew   now 


accurate informationfacts not opinions truth not lies produce appropriateproportional actions (police and the military could stand to learn that)
                           knowing the right thing reliably makes one do the right thing

 

Aww well Que sais-je?  thats wha he knew

late 2017
0931,  Twosday,  11  5. 21
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes  Wild World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY_ckaT64t4 

10.5.21

 

          apparently some things never change 

remain static hungup on tortuous tines or penetratedstuck held fast

it was the first thing that caught his attention

he entered a lavatory to quickly cleanup his throat and cheeks his girl was meeting his flight an early morning one 

the flight into Seattle arrived late the cab was late the first motel hadnt a vacancy Then ya ought to kill the neon boasting Vacancy  the desk clerk didnt say a word  it was carbon copy at the next motel  There’s no vacancies, sir.  he nodded Thats an improvement but ya ought to kill the neon sign saying there is
getting back into the car the cabbie said Listen, Mack . .
. . I aint Mack I aint buddy 
                             Im your fare anif you didnt want to drive ya shouldnt have picked me up Now yare along for the ride

the third motel didnt lie

cabbie said Thanks, Mack as he paid the fare 
                                               he laid singles in his palm to cover the tip then pulled two back petty yah  he wanted to make a point likely Mack is a cheapskate the cabbie would think missing the whole exercise


in the room he set his bag on the bedpulled out clothes for later that morning hung them in the closet hopeful some creases might be forgiving  

he tossed his shave kit on the bed

he stripped naked folded and laid those clothes and underwear in his bag on top of clean clothes separating them with brown paper bags

he washed his face brushed his teeth eyeballed his razor Awright he conceded when he looked at his mug in the mirror
Sleep looked over his shoulder into the mirror We’re tired, man, you’ll nick the hell out of us. The blade’s as tired as we are, you’ve stretched it mighty thin, maybe one too many times.

Awright he conceded

he set an alarm for a quick nap and laid down 
                                                    felt like he just closed his eyes the clock soundedFUCK that was really quickhe snoozed it it sounded againI snoozed youhe killed it

 

 

he woke with a jolt 
                   voluptuous naked women were dusting the room artistically with coloured powders

he recognise two they dated 

he knew all the women

the two recognised each other  they became furiouswent after each other tooth and claw he wasnt worth it like a miraculouscoloured cyclone twistingwhorling an exotic birds plume  they enmeshed a torrent of struggle 
                                                                                                              their powders scattered seedingspeckling the others
he WOKE
FUCK 
the time
FUCK
     he snatched the telephone off the bedstandcalled a cabwashed his faceyanked his clothes free from the hangersthrew them ongrabbed his bagwent out the doorsettled up with the clerkmet the cabsped to the airport LINES
the September Eleven hangover  badly handled  They hate us! They won’t to change us!  they had changed America wholesale  they didnt miss one single unintended trickcreated niche marketsbusiness opportunitiesCorporate America said it felt the countrys pain but profited in the hunredbillions on its Fear  one had to be blind to miss the fists full of cashthe cha-ching of fixed slot machines the games not paying out  their sacks of cash growing exponentially

Go to Disneyland! Bushwhacker extolled anwhile Americans spent money they didnt have Bush & Co put the war in Afghanistansuddenly the war in Iraq on Americas creditcard 

Bushie didnt demand the country to sacrifice to pay for them

Cheney tugging his cock incited government to privatise the efforts
                                                                     who he spoke to was none of Americas business  there was no transparency they could be trusted  somehow Cheney and his crew werent accountable to anyone or any agency 
         trickledown at work  the rains been holding up for more than forty years Wait for it. Wait for it. Eventually. Be patient. they don even cover their mouths when they laugh anymore  CEOs eating Americas lunch with both hands . . .  Wait for it.


he got through the lines quicker than he thought  he had just enough time
he went to a lavatory 
                      opened his shave kit wetted his throat and cheeks lathered them with soap from the airport dispenser beneath the mirror and began shaving

he heard someone walk in behind him they urinated noisily Awshit! they said

he looked in the mirror the guy was fumbling with his cock putting it away when the man turned he could see that his trousers were speckled with urine Shit. the man wiped his slacks with his hands Sonofabitch. he walked up to the sink beside himoblivious of himsnatched paper towels from a dispenser and vigorously went after the speckles  he mauled the specklingmeld it into one darker colour probably wouldnt be recognised unless someone was looking for it

the man turned from the mirror ballingup the paper towel and tossed it at the receptacleDENIED it rolled off the lip and fell onto the tiled floor

still shaving carefullywatching in the mirror he saw the man walk past his failed shothe didnt pick it uphe didnt wash his hands
            he was a businessman
HUH
    he felt he had time he watched other businessmen enter and use the urinals  many left without washing their hands
HUH


          some things never change

he could have bet money on it
seemed the practise was more pervasive than even he would have given it credit
once upon a time it might have been a coin flip
now seveneight of ten
fifteensixteen of twenty
Dismal
Pigs
    never shake a businessmans hand
                                         like shaking their dick


he almost missed his flight

0836,  Twosday,  10  9. 19
1011,  Monday,  10 5. 21
The Who  Won’t Get Fooled Again  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

9.5.21

 

he wrote better shooting from the hip

not following script no onenothing talkingwalking over his lines  Yamind  

I do. Time’s a wasting, waiting on you is like watching a pot boil, it’s gonna boil, it’s on the fire, what the fuck are you waiting on?
             So I'm not, an the rest of the crew isn’t either.

actually they werent nothinghad standing
                                             but explaining them to other people they said they were nothing Non-existent
Yaought to saddle up my pony he replied 
                                           why did he think they would understand  You give people too much credit. They aren't you.

other people werent 
                     those inside him he was a hydra they were


It's Mother’s Day, man.

Yah

Whacha got for the girls?

Im thinkin

Script!
        Thought you were shooting from the hip. 
Ill throw you a bone, an ivory rather. Get Yeller’s sperm whale tooth, the one a year later, hold it, remember when, and remembering you’ll open other doors, who else? Yeller’s a given.

My sister my mother my wife  They’re dead.  No matter theyll know My daughters friends who are mothers my other sisters aunts  Better, they’re alive.  My few friends  Good, you didn’t seek friendships anyways.  I didn’t
                                                                                                                 Feel better?
he didnt like to admit when they were right fuckin voyeurs You’re a voyeur. they had a point 

the tooth felt good in his hands 
                                 seawater and sand brushed smooth as a babys butt the other two were chalky Yeller found those not two weeks after the whale washedup in the cove
                                                                    Fathers Day

Fitting, isn’t it? No Mother's Day without Father's. You were, are, a good father.

Thank you

Shaddup. Today isn’t about you.

Yare correct  Happy Muthas Day

Fuck you.

338 or 1538 – he preferred 338 – rounder – and whas not to like about round,  Sunday,  9  5. 21

 

he loved learning things he didnt know 
                                          he thought he wouldve let him in on it  particularly when it was an acronym
which he detestedwhich most people he knew knew  he shouldve know better

RISUG  says he
                   he humoured himselfwondered if when he was confronted with RISUG did he think  AhYes, reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance.   

Yawanna speak English

It’s an intravasal injectable male contraceptive.


An I I M C  

I I M C?

eyebrows arched
                   Yah didnt he just say  Stutterers acronym for I - Im a cunt
I’m a cunt? 
                I don't follow.

A stutterers  I – Im a cunt NO  intravasal injectable

OhWow, you lost me for a moment.

It was a freakin nanosecondDo you listen to yourself when ya talkwhen ya hit me between the eyes with risug  ya didnt say R I S U G                               
                    I doneven have a guess for that  a five-lettered acronym  getting into USA Patriot Act territoryrather terroritory  acronym

What?

Whawhat

I asked what?

Nice  I can inform you  Nice to walk in anothers mocassinshuh

he extended his arms elbows bent at the hip wiggled his indexfinger middlefinger on his hands in unison  a subtle come on and fuck you at the same time 

Getting impatient

he didnt say 
              he just kept on wiggling his paired fingers

Irritatin isnt it 
                USA Patriot Act  Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism  Act  someones might pleased with how clever they were 
                                                                                      An to knotup a furthur irritation  they prefer  they is dictionaries  they prefer to call it not an acronym but a backronym  an acronym deliberately formed from a phrase whose initial letters spell out a particular word or words

Backronym  which Id rather call a backroomnym  Shit like that has to come out of a backroom in some fucking think tank  lotta time on their hands money in their pockets                                                                                                                               Don scratch your head nym is the shortened form of pseudonym  Nym is derived from Greek for name or word

his fingers had froze he was bored to death

Donwanna play Trivial Pursuit against me  I can killya with nonsense

Man, I forgot what we were talking about.

Lost the threaddropped it  Minotaur would be chowing down on you this very moment

I don’t get, I don’t get, but please don’t illuminate my ignorance . . please.

Ill sendya a memo 
                    Gives you an out 


Risug

Oh yeah. 
          And why are you beating me up.

Because you said Risug  Ya dig your brevity I don 
                                                      Say wha the shit means  Ya should know better than most so Ill assume you did it on purpose

It’s a male contraceptive. Aren’t a lot of male contraceptives on the market and I know you keep a fresh . . lemme . a prophylacticHA . . a fresh one in your wallet.

Yadon want them growing old nawouldya 
                                             Kindalike a knock on your manhood
My manhood’s fine.

Because as I recall birth control aint your problem 
                                                    Howdayasay   AhYes  Im not the one who gets pregnant 
Ya fit right in with your white Republican brethren an the few idiot females who follow in your wakeGawd knows they cant walk among youwouldnt be able to get the stink off ya  Right

You’re getting downright offensive.

I am offensive
               Whyya bringing Risug up  Your party believes women ought to give birth to their rapists children
Wha  Daddys little girls
I love ya guys think incest isnt out of line

 

You done?

We don have enough time  Go ahead  Now that Ive reminded you

I mentioned it because it’s been reported the U S  F D A wants to begin trials so it can be made available in the US market.

Injectable

Yeah. 
       A positively charged polymer gel gets injected into a small segment of the vas deferens, the gel attaches to the walls, it forms a kind of chemical mesh net which interacts with the negatively charged sperm, neutralising them.

Injecting  the vas deferens

A small section, yes.

Ya walked right into it

Walked into what? 
                   no fingers pulsing this time

Risug Rise up  Makes a vast difference

he made a spectacular groan


it seems they werent going to kill each other today
 
0855,  Monday,  9  9. 19
1424,  Saturday,  8  5. 21

 

the Former thinks hes clever 
                              its an old rhetorical devise appropriation actually its a childs playground bit

Im rubber yare glue whayasay bounces off me and sticks to you

CLEVER 
         it only took him 35,000 lies while president to warm him up to THE BIG LIE

now THE BIG LIE is being told by Congressional Democrats and Independents Republicants are in Nazi lockstep behind the corrupt Former
who grabbed pussy
who cheated on his wife
was twice impeached by the House
twice lost the popular vote by millions
incited an insurrection

is utterly dishonorable 


seems Republicants can swallow dick and not choke

1139,  Sunday,  9  5. 21

8.5.21


he had a ticket in his breast shirt pocket

over his heart

a ticket to ride 
               he wasnt stealing it from the Beatles  but if he was why wouldnt he steal from the best

a ticket to fly 
              fly to the front end of a hopefully long long voyage actually a trip  but the emotions struggling in his heart and brain lend better for a voyage  more poetic  a voyage he anticipatedhad anticipated  thensuddenly pressing up on him against him  No way around itnot that hed go around itavoid it run  runrun far  far   away 
there was that 

to deny it
           but he couldnt  he faced things head on always had  endured the bumps and bruises scrapes and stitches  he wore their scars 
                   nowsuddenly a new voyage was on him  an earlier voyage of happiness of anguish tears sighs panting  terror   was over    
                                   yet

yet 
        he couldnt say how he felt 

numb isnt a feeling

he stood by himself in the concourse he didnt hear peoplehe didnt see themhe was trying to digest what next was coming 
            trying to take  his   time


since New Years everything has been leading to it
a long nightmare a fantasy provoking a bad dream that couldnt possibly be realcouldnt be 
                                                                                                 despite knowing it was
a seesaw

childs game

suspended Ups

crushing Downs

equilibrium escaping him

 

she wrote deftly inside one of her perfectlyillustrated perfect-for-the-occasion notecards

I hope your trip brought some great closure to her presence in the physical world, and opened up her incredible spirit to enjoy anywhere.

his ticket was inside it inside his breast pocket




no
              not yet 

she wrote it to him for his sister 
                                              now he was returning to her

nowhere to run

nowhere to hide

he might suppose he was flying nowhere 


Departure time was drawing nearer and nearer

1732,  Monday,  9  9. 19
1022,  Saturday,  8  5. 21
The Beatles  Ticket to Ride  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acxfOgPWUls 

7.5.21

 

Seems to mehe caught himself  what did it matter what it seemed to him  seeming belongs to everyone

no ones seem was more important than the next 
                                                         or that was how it seemed to him

yet there were those who insisted their seem was more important than anyone elsethey werent shy

their blatant insistence made it easymade it Obvious for him 
                                                              like plucking ripe red apples or cherries from their leafy darkgreen boughs bright spot by bright spot by bright spot

he walked up to them  smiled grasped them a quick twistplucked them leaving them without their stem without their umbilical cord – a delicatelydepressed innie bellybutton – no need for plastic surgery – at least not for that
                                                                                                              clenched firmly in his hand he inquiredsincerely Why ohwhy pleasetellmewhy your seem exceeds others  Please ohpuhlease
patronising 
            Ohyesindeed  Indeedydeedy do
                                                  patronisinglyprovocative 
Inquirying minds wanna know 
                                Lemme ask yadon get out of bed to one side or the otherhe always got out on the right side of the bed yadon put your pants on one leg at a time  levitate right whaelse donya do like every other Tom Dick or Harry MaryJane Sally or Sue  or Jill

Im curious

he held them by their ripered fruit

in his enthusiasm he had to remind himself not to pick them up sure their tether would rip free

a mightbit too provocative a weebit too intense  too brusque  Yes  but brusque was informative  informed them their seem was too unseemly 
           or at least he thought so

Youll have to excuse my inquisitiveness my budding curiosity 
Didyasay 
           I donwanna talk over ya Ifya did my apology I was entertaining an interior monologue that often intrudes – is often rude – Here Lemme let go of ya  Unrufflesoothe the creases Ive  Ive impressed on you 
brush 
brush
brush
      There
brushbrush 
      There you go 
brush    brush 
      Theyre coming out
brush  brushbrush 
      You were sayinI trust you were explaining  Continue

he thought they might be more congenial brushing them off  no harm no foul  treating them with a preference he was sure they felt entitled 

      usually  they had nothing to sayDespite the outrage simmering in their eyeson their faces

but their particular outrage didnt translatedidnt lead to action 
                                                                         Nahnahnah heyhey  goodbye  they usually had underlingsenablers wannabes who were supposed to handle himkeep him at arms length  do their dirty work

when someones doin dirty work for ya you know youve arrived   . . somewhere
                                                                                     they didnt care for face to face
they flinched

they were docile

Say  Whars that fightin spiritThat can-do attitudeThat never say dieThat Over my dead body


Seems to meI gotta stop that      
1638,  Monday,  9  9. 19
1419,  Reggae Friday,  7  5. 21
Steam  Na Na Na Na Hey Hey-ey Goodbye  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoyvvEWHodk  


Equality Before the Law Nebraskas state motto equality before the lawhmm he had no knocksno qualms he had a better motto though

he turned to his buddy who was driving they were five hours into six to cross Nebraska on US 80 
                                                                                                       Ya know Nebraskas state motto

I don’t, but I do know Illinois’ state motto.

Ya do Marvel me I do toojust didnt think you did

he turned his headlooked incredulously at him for a moment then turned his head back to the road

Ya know man thats the most emphatic youve been this entire trip

Well, I can’t believe you think I wouldn’t know, like everyone knows it, you don’t even have to live in the state. 
You know? 

Yah  Uninspiring  So whaya got

in profile he looked beatific 
                             Land of Lincoln.

Land of Lincoln is Illinois slogan

Slogan? Your wrong.

Wrong that Land of Lincoln is a slogan or that its Illinois mot . .
. . I’d say on both accounts.

Buckup State Sovereignty National Union  Boring  Almost as boring as Equality Before the Law  Nebraskas

I think you’re wrong.

I wont ask you to trust me Yacan look it up on your smartphone when we make a bathroom stop  Soon please

You got to go again? he screwed up his face

Toldya the Chinese food didnt set right with me last night Greasy bowels No treat

Alright, alright, don’t need details.

Wouldntve gotten details if ya didnt get short about stopping

I’m just saying it didn’t bother me, I don’t have to stop.

I do  so if yadon wanna stop I can shit in your car

he screwed up his face again 
                                Can you hold it eight miles? 
I can  But not nine

 

sitting on the pot he could relate to Nebraskas Equality Before the Law Actually it made sense  he was visualizing an equals sign  =  then a second added to the first  ==  a third  ===  then ten  ========== 
                                                                                                  Makes sense he said out loud  his voice echoed in the stall  Thats how flat Nebraska is   Hmmhe then wondered  he wondered if he sang if his voice would sound as good in the handicapped stall as it sounds in the shower  Acoustics baby he said out loud again

 

by the time he was washing his hands he conceived of a new state motto  Not for Everyone 
                                                                                                 then he pulled back  that was a slogan not a motto  he wasnt going to share it with his buddy  itd be for his own edification

 

getting back into the car 
                          Thanks for stopping man  Feels like my guts are emptied

What’s with you and details? Stop it, would you?

Awright awright  thought if I shared youd be less perturbed or more excited were good to go for the rest of the trip

Thanks. So I looked it up. Land of Lincoln. In a sense I wasn’t wrong. 
                                                                          he was looking mighty superior
Lemme guess 
               In the sense that a slogan is a short pithy  a memorable phrase used in advertising  A motto slogan and motto lazily interchangeable  such that a motto is associated with a political party movement or other group  encapsulating beliefs or guiding ideals 
                                         Kinda like concluding a vow  I do 

Jesus, you take your cellphone into the bathroom with you?

Stop Ya know my cell is ten years old and not smart 

But you are.

Nahnot really I am vessel that houses useless information Why Im good at Trivial Pursuit I don have to pursue

Yeah. Okay. You want to listen to some music?

So yadon have to listen to me

That obvious?

Saturday evening,  7  9. 19
1051,  Reggae Friday,  7  5. 21

 

6.5.21


Nebraska 
           hed never been in Nebraska before  it was as flat and featureless from Interstate 80 as Iowa was  although not as featureless or barren as Nevada  he understood why Atom bombs were tested there

they spent the night in Sidney

in the morning they took Old Post Road out of town to State 19 crossing the into Colorado 19 turned into State 113 a road map revealed that he didnt see any posted signage for several miles that revealed the transition wasnt like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis 
                                       he played with a notion of Christchrysalis Christ inside trying to gerryrig a transformation into anyone other than himself because he knew hed be crucified  not unlike killingjars and butterflies pinnedup in shadow boxes for display  He really isnt any different 
                                                                        . . wasnt like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis given this countryside any splash of colour would have been nice

denied  he decided hed look for anything old thing that might tickle his fancy 


his buddy was drivingit was his car  he preferred driving to being a passenger it was his car  this morningbecause it was his car he also wasnt interested in listening to music  he wasnt interested in conversation

he was fullblooded German his parents born in-country  their War experiences as children vastly different

this particular morning he was mighty tempted to describe his buddy as Aryan
                                                                                   anwhile he thought Aryan amused himmisting his craniumhis crankbox he saw a lingering fence line  it was in disrepair  he saw no purpose for it  no crops no cattle no outbuildings  intermittent for miles and miles 
                                                                   probably its sole purpose was THIS LAND BELONGS TO SOMEBODY  NOT YOU   You saw the fence?   I did   So you understood the land belongs to someone?   I crossed onto it where there wasnt a fence or gate   But you saw, you must have, the fence . . 
. . Was not contiguous   That has nothing to do with anything. A dotted line is still a line.   Not where there is no dot 

the disrepair was curious 
                            there were thin weathered slats strungbound by barbwire between steel U-channeled posts  some wires had snapped  hunreds of slats were broken  often an unbroken line tentwenty feet at a time  slats looked like sheaves of whitened ribs or broken dangling bones 
                                                          he imagined he was looking on the fossilised remains of an ancient snake or snakes who died twined  in the throes of sex 
                                                                  if someone hadnt witnessed snakes mating theyd likely be impressedas he was  he wished he could be as fluid an flexible bendy an pliable sleek  as snakes



What are you thinking about? You’re mighty quiet over there.

I was thinking of fucking like a snake

Jesus Christ.

Nah Cant  Hes nailed to a cross hes got an excuse for not being pliable 
                                                                           Whas yours

0912,  Reggae Friday,  30  8. 19
1507,  Thursday,  6  5. 21
Doors  Crawling King Snake  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV0buYqrRo4