there are recipes for writing as there are recipes for cooking baking pickling drying

ingredients too

the ingredients for writing however arent as readily available as it is to run down and fetch from the grocers

he walked to the grocers a canvas bag over his shoulder 

                                                           and often while walking he came upon odd ingredients he would have had to been blind to miss and incorporate them into pieces 

                                                                            no measuring spoons glass Anchor Hocking measuring cups no pots and pans or sieves no greased and floured baking tins or glassware  stoneware

 

he did get an interesting recipe last evening  Vita & Virginia  Virginia Woolf  Mrs Dalloway  The Lighthouse  Orlando  Vita was the muse for Orlando

“. . you must let the eye lick it all up

all that deliciousness

and then the brain will settle itself down

and watch things happening

without troubling itself to think”

marvelous 

          not that it told him what to do  but rather that it confirmed what he taught himself

 

 

a potbellied toad squatted on its haunches in the crotch of twinned trees 

                                                                            Once upon a time they were triplets  the toad was carved from the stump of the third

clever 

       it became less clever when it belched as he walked past

kneejerk reaction he answeredattended belches as he answeredattended sneezes  Gawd bless you

the toad couldnt thank him  it lacked an articulating tongue jaws teeth voicebox and any modicum of human language  English  were it to speak to him 

                                   rather it assumed his benevolence and nodded its thanks

before he could catch himself he politely nodded in kind 

                                                                 Man  toads made of wood

he excused a wooden toad

if he were a lesser manan insecure man he might have looked around to see if anyone overheard him

being who he was 

                     he couldnt give a fuck

he almost waited for the toad to bust into DeNiros Taxi Driver bit  Ya talkin to me  Ya talkin to me  Im the only one here Ya talkin to me

but frankly the sapling didnt look old enough to have been seededsprouted to have overheard the speech

bitch to have roots 

                    he didnt  picked his up years ago an hadnt put them down  just never found a place he wanted to commit to wanted to call Home 

                                yaknow   Home Sweet Home

so he intruded on his folks 

                            Yamind if I keep my attachment to Home with youse 

they were tickled

when they were fixing to sell his childhood hometheir home they asked him if that would be alright

that was mighty nice of em 

                             Thank you but no thank you  Its your house  You do whacha like

they sold it

the new owner tore it down

a onehundredten year old house bulldozed  brick foundation  true roughcut 2X4s 2X6s bigger bearingbeams and posts  slat and plaster walls  white oak baseboard and trim  stained glass and other decorative leadglass windows

it was down a couple of weeks before family said  his folks never said   he hadnt gone back to the old neighbourhood since

twenty years later at the thought of it his next thought was to firebomb the structure that replaced the house he grew up in

 

he stepped back didnt turn around just threw it in reverse 

                                                            Ya okay toad

it nodded

couldntve known what he asked  maybe surmised by the tone of his voice  his concerned expression

sometimes communication didnt need wordsthe same language

he and a stumped tree apparently didn’t

someone was deliberate  and exquisite  with their knife or knives

had the stump been left taller a crown on the toads head wouldnt have been inappropriate

despite its humourous posture  there was a regalness to its expression  asif it was caught breaking wind  kings fart everyone farts 

               yes  even beautiful women fart 

however in light of his experiences  it wasnt wise to say 

                                                           he couldnt help himself

he was a truthteller

and not only was he willing to tell the truth

                                              he didnt suppress a fart if one ached for freedom

Excuse me

Excuse you? That was rude.

Nahnope  That was fuckin human

he couldnt sayhow many farts stood between him and a beautiful relationship fuckya  he was being melodramatic if a fart stood in the way of a relationship it wasnt a relationship to be hadBAM

                                                                            he was surprised how many guys thought otherwise  I’d’ve given my left nuts to spend my life with her  Yafuck it wouldve cost ya more than your nut  he didnt get these guys  they were full of shit

                                       they didnt think they were  not to have a woman like that on their arm

hell with his arm  he wanted a woman under himover himbehind herflipped around sixtynine under on top inside hell with his arm

 

Toad  Names Joe  Hope yer belly settles down

it blinked one bulbous eye

                            then the other

imagine  a piece of wood and him speaking the same language

Have a fine day  Ill be seein ya again

the quickest of nods

                      or the sunlight fluttered  a diffuse cloud casting an abrupt shadow

  

3216,  Sunday,  7  2. 21

2307,  Monday,  8  2. 21

 

he liked naked pages sheets of vellum cheap copying paper brown paper bags  WORD delineated sheets lined borders but yacant write outside the lines he liked anything willing to submit to ink or keystrokes 

                                                                                                he did not write with pencils he drafted with pencils  and never the two shall meet 

                                                          like being a supremelycautious bisexual lovers never meet  despite some bisexualsheterosexualshomosexualslesbians who like playing games toying with others hearts and affectionsemotions Cruel some consider cruelty a powerful asset it can certainly have its upsides 

he didnt play games that devised people as pawns

human beings are like naked pages  he walked past them every day

he is a pedestrian

unfortunately they drive automobiles 

                                      and never the two shall meet not without terrible injuries to pedestrians

   

although he did enjoybriefly their faces behind glass 

                                                      brilliant scintillas  some became sketches

the mutts

the makeup checked in rearview mirrors

the selfconscious averting their eyes when you look at them through their windshields

the Indy500 drivers shifty eyed  –  all the worlds an open raceway 

                                                                          ofcourse it is

they drive cars that protect them from getting killed in accidents 

he wonders if they ever think of being maimed

Viet Cong fixed many a GI wagon with antipersonnel mines

Iraqis up the ante asymmetrical IED has to say  hates acronyms improvised explosive devise CIA-taught he had a thing for improv

Ever think about being maimed 

                                dying is easy in comparison

 

he liked dressing up naked pages more than when he had to entertain his little sisters

they wanted to dress up paper dolls

though to be honest it paid back in spades

it never hurts as he learned to be nice to little girls 

                                                      they grow up                                                           

his sisters had girlfriends they spoke kindly of him to them

kind words

like bees to honey

he had several little sisters

buzzbuzz  buzz

                          buzz   he was as busy as a bee without having to go out and beat the bushes

where was he

he sidetracked himself

memories 

           but a woman her clothing in disarray her left breasts bared panties around one ankle hem of her skirt up around her midriff

just as attractive as a naked page

 

0030,  Monday,  8  2. 21

1131,  Monday,  8  2. 21

Peter & Gordon  Lady Godiva  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJWBpq2dCF0

he met her on a patio under a fireorangetinged propane heater

Anybody sitting here

she shook her head

he took it as a No and sat  sat six feet from her    Trump virus is a bitch

Buy ya a beer

If you like.

If thats your attitude yacan buy me a beer

he waved the server over 

                           Shell have another of wha shes havin and Ill have a Pizza Port Swami  Her tab please  Thank you

the server didnt question her and went off with their order

Thank you very much

Thank you?  First you ask if you can sit, then you order drinks on my tab?

Awshit my mistake  Mother may I

Motherfuck, you already did, may’s gone byebye.

Yes  I did 

            I wanted to be sure I had your attentionseems I have  I usually forego this questionhate it frankly  but were out the gate unorthodox

Unorthodox?

Yah  I like ityou may not when things to serve my purposeHate the question  Whadaya do  Im a pimp  Just so were on equal footingIve answered the pingpong question that invariably rises if one thinks theyre being interrorgated

Interrorgated?  A pimp?

YahNah  Not reallyfirst thing that came to mind   You

First thing that comes to mind or what I actually do . . 

. . For a living

              First thing expired ya fucked that up  I hope yer not a teacher  Id think yad have to be able to think on yer feet to teach

I am a teacher.

Teaching cretins

Excuse me?

Cretins 

I teach First Grade

Cretins

First graders are cretins?

Todays children are cretins 

                             Sounds like a clever book titlehuh

Sounds like you don't think much of children.

Ohon the contrary I have three  Three girls  Each one born older and wiser than me  but that was years ago

the server approached their table with two tapped beers and set them down before them

Thank you doll he said

the server made a quick smile couldnt suppress it  You’re welcome. almost got a curtsey out of her

Doll? she asked

Yah  There are certain sexist misogynistic quaint slights ones gotta keep alive an breathin

Gotta?

Yah  Yawanna call me a prick   Misandry 

                                             singsongy Yasay misandry I say misogyny  Misandry Misogyny  Lets not call the whole thing off   Just gettin warm

First grade teacher huh 

                        ZOOM Zoom  zoom  Hows the ZOOM indoctrination workin out for ya  Twodimensional indoctrination ZOOM socialization  Keep this shit up cretins wont have to interface face to face

Technologys banking on it

Technology profits

Poor prophylactics

                   Cretins teachers lose out  But no one more than the kids  Thought Id change up cretins to kidsya cringed when I say cretins

Why does cretins cross your mind?

Thats what were becoming  State colluding with Tech its easier to govern a spoonfed unthinking uncritical population I cant find the quoteI wont stop tryin  Im paraphrasing Hitler though Id prefer the actual quoteactual words  mebbe learn them in German

 

Donknow wha to say Gimme a ZOOMland story one please  Ill pick up the tab for one story  One

Alright.

Excellent  Were playin

Are you familiar with how ZOOM operates?

No 

    Are all your students on screen at once

No. Thirteen in the first session, eleven in the second. Three weeks in I thought I’d have some fun with them and turned the color off, presented myself in black and white; it took them more than twenty minutes to recognise I wasn’t in color.

A little girl saw it first

Yes. How did you know?

I had girls  They notice everything right down to gifts from Santa Claus wrapped in Christmas paper that was also used by the family to her

                     Sharp cookies

Yes.  She askedsuddenly, Miss Mabille, why are you gray? Are you feeling okay?

I told her I was fine. I also said that years ago people on television . .

. . Tryin to liken ZOOM to TV

It is, wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, years ago people were seen in gray-scales.

 

Yes

So she said Do you mean that people long ago were gray?

Ohmy

Isn’t that precious?

It is

Still cretins?

Yup

 

they departed after another beer  left cretins behind and discussed politics religion and sex  and sex   You talk about sex a lot.   I think youre thinking of sex a lot Im only mentioning it because you seem interestedenthralled  Actually I was using it as a devise as songwriters use a refrain   seemed reasonable Really?   No  earlier he caught her unsuspectingshe bellylaughed unexpectedly hard when he rallied heatedly on cunning linguists

he picked up the tab

                      Well thank you  This was so much better than I could have hoped for this evening

Yes, it was fun, thank you.  Goodnight.

Gnight

 

Friday & Saturday evenings,  5 & 6  2. 21

2054,  Sunday,  7  2. 21

 

You should never drink alone.

he disliked snide remarks   disliked sneers 

                                                if she wasnt his mother hed tell her to fuck off

awhell gotta to be true to yourself

                                     Maw for wha its worth   Fuck off

Joe! 

     not an Oscar-worthy performance she was just picking the scab when they didnt see eye to eye rarely did she thought hed come around to her way of thinking

that departure separation  was cauterised after the split

                                                          the smell of burning fleshhair is unmistakably

Save it Maw Never drink alone   Never is an absolute

Your point?

My point 

          Nothing is absolute is your point

I drink alone because no one can keep uptheyre humiliated An I think thats more problematic than hurling their guts in a public toilet 

              Without sense enough to just go outside and puke in the grass or the street gutter

Where I puke  though not often 

                                 if I gotta blow I got a firm grip on a No Parking sign or something to hold a bush while leaning forward so I dont have to throw away my shoes the next morning

You realise . . Here it comes . . . you're speaking to your mother.

I do  An Im your son 

                      Birthing me didnt make me your property I aint like my siblings who youve assembled an work in lockstep

First born I had first crack at the goods on the top shelf an I might have been a bit greedy an takin the lions share of balls

Anyway

Save the sermon

Ill drink alone literally   not figuratively Im drinkin for personalities who cant hold glasses because their hands are immaterial

           Even if they could pour it down their gullet itd splash on the floor  whether it be beneath above or alongside em

A dirty job but somebodys got to do it 

                                         That  an fuckin fat girls

My God, Joe . . 

. . Got that right Maw yer God

2319,  Saturday,  6  2. 21

 

it was just beyond duskdarkening up the golden hour passed

he slowlyrolled up to the street to exit the apartment complex he looked left for traffic looked right to assure himself that a car wasnt making a left into the complex cheatingentering in his lane and not swingingwide making a ninetydegree angle turn as they should into their appropriate lane

with his left free looking right he saw a teenage boy had crossed the street ahead and disappeared from sight as he kept walking

he made his right and slowlyrolled up to the cross street that the teenager paralleled which hed make a right onto

he had expected to see him walking on the sidewalk

he did not

with no oncoming traffic he made a right and merging into the lane he was startled to see only a disembodied left arm swinging in cadence with steps

                                asif he emerged  was rematerialising 

he had spats with ghosts

those however were inclined to interior pursuits haunting houses particular rooms cellars

his foot came off the gas pedal

he glanced in his rearview 

headlights were gaining on him

he veered nearer the side of the curbless roadnearer where the sidewalk was ending and the young man would have to walk on the shoulders dirt and gravel it was a wide rural road a wider road than he was familiar with in the Midwest where he was from

as the car came up on him he saw his cars shadow dimly stretch ahead stretched long like momentary taffy then shortening shortening  shorteninggone as it sped by

after the car passed he had squintedturned his head right avoided the light glinting off his mirrors to keep his night vision not let it be starched and bleached because if ruined the walking spirit would be obliterated disappeared

 

                                                                                                 an outdoor ghost

the old road narrowed a bit forcing him left at the edge of his headlights he saw the boys shoulder hip the back of his head  

     asif his emergence was formed like a deck of cards being fanned where eventually the edges of all the cards could be seen 

        asif he was spread from behind an impenetrableblack destitute hand   

nearing him he saw the boys shoes kick up dust scatter small stones and gravel onto the roads edge  revealed more and more 

           however he noticed too in his poise his steps he was aware of the slow car behind them and he was also aware that his headlights threw his shadow before him  taffy again 

                                                                             a ghost doesnt cast a shadow

then nearly upon the boy he saw a solid black figure steps behind him the black figure had obscured him had dealt him like a deck of cards

                   now almost beside him his steps anxious quicker shorter likely preparing to run he tossed a quick look over his shoulder at him while the trailing pitchblack figure  threedimensional  turned its head and looked directly at him without eyes or features without clothing   a threedimensional humanshaped silhouette gliding directly behind the boy   a threedimensional pitchblack impenetrable hole in this living dimension 

                                                                                      startled he abruptly hit the gas pedal the car lurched forward the teenager turnedfast to the road and stopped 

                                                                              the black figure stopped too  however paid him no heed  faced the boy fascinated by the boy

continuing up the road he checked his sideviewhis rear mirrors and could still see him see the shape looming behind him 

 

he didnt have the courage to turn around

his mind argued he was seeing things

I know what I saw

You know what you thought you saw

So your explanation is 

Nothing was there 

                     A construct you imagined made of weak light and shadows

No There was something   There was something there

 

a couplethree days later a local television News Bulletin Authorities requested anyone who might have information about a missing boy to please come forward

. . . please come forward

he knew the boy wasnt going to be found

 

recalled again One-ish,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

1059,  Saturday,  6  2. 21

Elton John  Razor Face  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGvU-y2xgQ

 

        Elmet the last independent Celtic kingdom in England badlands  a sanctuary  for refugees from the law or so said Ted Hughes 

                   he read it as he walked

a skittering woke his attention

in the middle of the street on its weathered facethe sand erodingtpebbles singular scattered obvious  separatecitadels  running over it was a dandywhirl of several leaves turning one way and then the other one chasing the others the others chasing one chasing two three broke into the lead across the street towards him and leapt the high curb onto the sidewalk 

          those who chased them pulled up short backed off  then disbanded fleeing possibly  him 

                                                                                                           and the three on the sidewalk before him he startled two fled back onto the street the third hurled itself at the chainlink fence and tried to climb it 

there was no wind

the leafsomewhat waxen slipped on the links and fell down onto the dirt

mesmerised he stepped towards it

it stood facing the fence and must have decided it was supple enough to yet fold rather it rolled itself up and jumped through a link unfurling safely on the other side

he knelt down leaned forward clutched the fence his handfingers looking clawish

the leaf backpedaled though still intently facing him

it looked right

he looked left

its two playmates returned had worked their way up the street ahead of him  they leapt over the curb onto the sidewalk and crossing the dirt they began to collapse like paper rolled for cigarettes

they jumped through separate holes between the links

he looked back at the leaf

it was facing him

then it flopped wiggled and fled over the grass as its playmates angled towards it

he watched them run to a handball wall and disappear around behind it 

      Hmmm 

                     how fortunate was he

 

1234,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

 

he looked up out of his book over the top of it to suddengauge the landscapestreet ahead

in the distance he was treated to a mane of jetblack hair

it obliterated the brightblue windbreaker she wore he could see her arms near her waist a narrow band then black slacks 

        she was a figure of black and brightblue

he wouldnt overtake her 

                               not literally  however figuratively he could

catch her

excuse himself

compliment her luxurious thick hair

admire her deepbrown almondcut eyes

high cheekbones

full mouth lips 

First People nose 

                  trying very hard not to stare actually only getting out the compliment of her hair

Thank you.

Goodness no thank you I had to say  Please have a fine afternoon

she giggled like a spring bubbling up out of the earth 

                                                         Thank you. And you as well.

Yes  youve helped make it   Goodbye

Goodbye.

she walked away 

                   turned once over her shoulder knowing he was still admiring her  a smile a quick wave  and remain turned just long enough for him to quickly wave back

she went around a corner

thank goodness they were walking in the same direction and he wouldnt want her to think he was following her

Monday afternoon,  1  2. 21

1157,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

January 6

he thought if he could hide among the wolves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c28DS9SVWH8

     a brave admission 

                            but hes a Democrat  Minnesota Representative Dean Phillips

                                                                                             2345,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Rashida Tlaib   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRkzF3RKNP8 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah9uOqVW96o 

  

 

199 greene bottles of beer on the wall 199 bottles of beer

Take one down pass it around 

198 bottles of the beer on the wall 

he has no idea who would drink that swill

1052,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Andy Kaufman made me do it

 

he reallyreally enjoyed topsy turvy sex  on occasion might have been a little loud bellicose over the topmebbe overboard but reigning in his enthusiasm was like bridling a wild animaldenying it its particular ways and nature  

                                                                                                                    however a particularly surly old man who kept a basement room in the boardinghouse did not like either his enthusiasm or the young women he entertained 

they never made a production on their way up to his third floor room he escorted them up the marvelous beautifullyornate staircase 

                             Once upon a time it had been a manse

in that neck of the woods only the Church could ever afford to erect such a structure might have made some want to consider blowing off womens and commit to preaching the Gospel 

      not him

               though not that he couldnt see the other side of the cointhe argument aint getting laid might as well live well enjoined with the affections of your flock

speaking for himself hed rather have sex with certain members of the flock 

if the old man happened to be in the parlour when he entered with a guest he couldnt seem to refrain or manage or mind his Ps and Qs rather than sittintight quiet hed get up off his ass and accost themaccuse them of Fornication! Sin!  who talks like that Surely God will ruin of them, bring their Ruin down upon them. Why must you taint me and many others, infect us, who also live in this house? 

he stared into the man rheumy waterblue eyes Because I pay my way exactly as you do  anyer the only person in this house who ever bitches 

                       Stay out of my business he might have said to the old man but he did not stay out of my business an keep yers to yerself

I speak because God sides with me.

Lotsa fools think Gawds in their corner But take that up with someone who buys into Gawd If Gawd then why is this a boardinghouse 

                 they were already on the landing and heading to the next flight of steps that hid them from the parlour

the old man said something

they were heading onto something betterto do something much muchbetter 

some more noise carried up the staircase from the parlour

it was just noise to them

he didnt hear the old man proclaim he was Gods instrument 

he didnt hear his days were numbered

Is he always like that? she asked He strikes me as deranged. What is he capable of?

Capable

Yes, capable, is he dangerous?

I think hes more a danger to himself than others Ive lived here bout six monthsalmost six months and apparently Im the only person who drives his discontent

The only person?

Well me and who Im with such as yourself  

How many times?

Oh couplethree times a month mebbe a couple of months more It always occurs in the parlour

He’s never confronted you elsewhere?

He has a room in the cellar Ive mine here  Were a long way apart

I think he could be dangerous. Just now he seemed unhinged.

he gently pushed her against the wall took her by the shoulders and kissed her  

then he pulled her to him embraced her and whispered into her ear Yawanna see unhinged

she giggled Where am I looking?

Right here  forking his fingers he pointed to his eyes

Oh  my  Yes, you’re right.  Unhinged, and danger . .

                                                         she didnt speak for a long while after that

 

      night fell

                 he rolled off the side of the bed and slipped on his pants over his nakedness  Excuse me  I have to use the water closet

Oh, I do too. she rolled out of bed and grabbed his shirt off the back of a chair I'll be real fast; can you keep? 

Yah If not I got a mug here in the bedstand

I'll be back real quick. she said as she went past him to the door giving him a lightningfast kiss on the cheek We can pick up where we left off.

And that was where he smiled

I’ll think about it and be right back.

she opened the door peeked into the hall one way then the other Nobody. I’ll be back in a flash.

Thank you though I prefer you flash me

the door closed silently behind her he couldnt hear her going down the hall

                                                                               he was distracted by his bladder he opened the bedside cabinethe had to go more than he thought and removed the porcelain thunder mug  

urinating loudly he mumbled Put a head on it willya  and laughed 

                                                                     he thought he heard something in the hall above his urinating he stopped listened  nothing  he finished

                                                       finishing he thought he heard something again

he set the mug down on the stand buttoned his pants up picked it up again and went out the door

something a shuffle 

                     down near the water closet Daphne he said as he walk down the hall outside the closed door DAPHNE he heard something DAPHNE he tried the doorit was locked looking up on the opened transom he saw a reflection on its glass lighted by the full moon he took one step backlowered his shoulderslammed into the door the jamb splitsplintered the door swung in the heavy mug brokeurine showereda figure rushed himhe saw Daphne on the floorhe saw bloodsaw a glint off a blade as the figure slashed him 

                                                                     bringing his left up he caught the blade on his forearm it cut down to his elbow still holding the smashed mug by its handlea jagged side remaining he smashed it into the figures facestanding him uprightrepeatedly pummeled him with itnot letting him fall 

                                                                                       he heard screams behind him womens mens then hands grappling himpulling him backthe assailant falling awayover backwards on top of Daphne blood spattered everywhere they pulled him down into the hall

then noisessounds became words Stop! Stop, man! My God! mens words women screaming

      Once upon a time it had been a manse 

                                                 the story told now was of a crazy old man who lived in the cellar

who murdered a young woman in an upstairs water closet

the womans amor killed the old man with broken thunder mug

the story never mentions their names

people arent interested in names

just the horrible story

 

an attraction

             the boardinghouse never lacks tenants

 

1213 or 0013,  Twosday,  2  2. 21

1102,  Thursday,  4  2. 21