his experience  time could devolve

its churning plowing straight ahead running over the helpless the hapless the well-healedwell-heeled  the entitled  ceaselessly

                it slowed in his eyes

slowed slowed
                crept to a stop

time  still  ticked on the clock  if someone listened

they werent

time devolved in that four-cornered room  which he never imagined

a cell

       where too many who he loved would inexorably end up  inexorably inhabit
held

contained

time sat in an obscure corner quietly  and watched

and in its arrest 

its patient exhale

it smoked the room

and those inside it

they could smell it on their skinsomething  something   something they couldnt identify

and they found themselves meandering 

falling free through time

untethered

amoebic

his loved one laid before him

sometimes animated

most of the time still  breaths aided by a ventilator

and before him also  a fine fabric  gossamer   where images of his remembrances flickered slyly

as they were in the past

their varied wheres

showering like confetti  stirred with grist    and passion

time devolved

                and revealed his relationships with the three beside him  inside the four-cornered room  in slow-motion  stutteringstammering  with notions of rainfall 

sometimes he thought time was being cruel

                                              or because he was sensitive  unable to take his eyes off the screen

he watched themlet them fall  possess his eyes   his senses

                                                                 like voluptuous drops of rain on a thirsty pavement  blotched  pitiless statements

or like snowflakes hoveringcaught on updrafts  delicately whirling   hangingdancing on his breaths

if time was being cruel  reminding him  he would always alwaysalways be grateful for its snapshots reinforcing his memory 

0813,  Saturday,  14  12. 19

1854,  Day-between-Two-Ts, 22  4. 20

Fiona Apple  Heavy Balloons  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT8HHHuvfK8   

Undefeated

first it took her voice

                         then it took everyone elses

her voice was mutedmouth gagged

                                     her eyes then wandered the room keeping the house in order

it disabled her muscle by muscle

she lost her arms

her hands

but it failed to take her legs

                           that must have miffed it

sense by sense it weakened her

it weakened her

                   but it didnt defeat her

she would die undefeated

0158,  Saturday,  14  12. 19

1253,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  22  4. 20

Timi Yuro  Make the World Go Away  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u40r9dBEQtE

Never again

                       never again  a Friday the Thirteenth such as this

having said that some people might provision hed have regret being unable to replicate it

of course they wouldnt know what they were talking about

                                                               but that never stops some people

itd never be recreated

its price was too high

                       a kind of price that one can barely afford  or suffer  once in a lifetime

it his second bout

his defenseshis heart harrowed

he could protest

                   but wouldnt prevail

he had to play the hand he was dealt

great gifts come at great cost

his greatest happiest cost him his greatest hurt

he had no idea that was the price

0038,  Friday,  13  12. 19

1238,  Monday,  20  4. 20

There's Bright, and not-so-bright

theres a bright doctor named Dr Bright who was directing the coronavirus vaccine effort when he was relieved of his post by the president because Dr Bright criticised the presidents decision to tout hydrochloroquine

Dr Bright deemed its regime medically unproven  and scientifically illegitimate

but unfortunately we have a not-so-bright president who removed Dr Bright when the America needed him most  

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/22/842013672/federal-doctor-says-he-was-removed-for-resisting-unproven-coronavirus-treatments?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20200422&utm_term=4535789&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-11-on-the-corruption-scale-chris-hayes-on-trump-admin-forcing-out-top-vaccine-doctor-amid-pandemic-82428997510

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/use-of-drug-boosted-by-trump-fox-news-not-borne-out-by-science-82428997928

2304,  Wednesday,  22  4. 20

A number

he couldnt sit on it  the numbers were too glaring

this administration didnt value its Intelligence agencies report in November about novel coronavirus in China 

soldiers who died during the Korean conflict 33,686 from 1950 – 1953

soliders who died in Vietnam 57,939 June 8, 1956 – April 29, 1975 approximately 19 years

the first confirmed death in America from coronavirus February 29 and on-line as of 1837hrs today 45,297 approximately 2 months

we should be grateful that more havent died  

although we could suppose the skys the limit  therell be a second wave this winter  depending on what is done or not done very soon   a third wave?

https://www.npr.org/2020/04/21/837348551/timeline-what-trump-has-said-and-done-about-the-coronavirus?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20200421&utm_term=4534072&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

https://www.businessinsider.com/2nd-coronavirus-wave-could-us-harder-than-current-outbreak-cdc-director-2020-4

usually he left the articles as footnotes

                                         Nah  not these   too important            

he wants to hear what the president might say about such comparisons  because he refutes anything that doesnt shine his buttons

1832,  Tuesday,  21  4. 20

President said  “A lot of people love Trump. A lot of people love me.”  https://www.msnbc.com/11th-hour/watch/trump-says-he-ll-win-2020-in-a-landslide-as-u-s-death-toll-tops-42-000-82317893566

Bob Seeger  Feel like a Number  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA1LJ3blITU

Reopen Americahuh

                       who wants it reopened now NOW! stamping their feet like vulgar spoiled children

who indeed

              Conservative groups FOX anchors Republican groups Gun Right Advocacy groups neo-Nazis

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2020/04/whos-behind-the-reopen-domain-surge/

Gollygosh  those are people who werent invited to pool parties because rather than getting out of the pool and using a restroom  theyd pee in it instead

1543,  Twosday,  21  4. 20

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-quiet-hand-of-conservative-groups-in-the-anti-lockdown-protests/ar-BB130n3n?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout   

without batting an eyeas a matter of course  belligerent They were busy   that out of their mouth

whos They

they didnt say

                if high State officials are allowedcan drivel “they” insist it cavalierly and are not challenged to reveal WHO they are why should he reveal his  they are of little or no consequence

when compared to State bumbling and conspiracies and fuckups

his they were beyond reproach and ought to be safe from affliction

he guaranteed themtheir authenticity legitimacy 

they werent State cunts and assholes

They were busy

thats all he needed to know

he didnt choose to be vague often

but now was probably a good time to be opaque

                                                    to protect his

began 0137 finished 0311,  Friday,  13  12. 19

The Kinks  Dead End Street  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NBDvXpsBzk               

“What do you have to lose?” March 21 he tweeted “HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE & AZITHROMYCIN, taken together . . biggest game changers in the history of medicine.”

NOT A GOOD IDEA

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/21/840341224/nih-panel-recommends-against-drug-combination-trump-has-promoted-for-covid-19?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20200421&utm_term=4533763&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

hes not a doctor

hes not a president

he is not credible  hes Americas covidiot

1435,  Twosday,  21  4. 20

Yaknow wha Yawanna know wha
                                       Ive taken all Im goin to take from you
Which is a joke

Because youre the taker

It was my mistake believing our relationship went two ways  My mistake I own it

But I also own wha goes forth if I dont stop If I dont let you own yours

So have it  Im out Im done givin

Youll have to take from some else

she didnt say a thing

Nothin

she didnt say a thing

he stood up casually pushed the bill to her On you Thanks for the drinks he turned and began walking away

You’re walking out on me?

he turned at the waistlooked over his shoulder at her I am 

she leaned forward proudly providing him an ample display of cleavage You really want to do that?

Save it My hands an my mindmy imagination have brought me more pleasure than you in quite some time

Like my old man says Theres plenty udder fish in the sea

 

1339,  Sunday,  19  4. 20

deep into 4/20 and he hadnt written anything for it

                                                              Not A Blessed Thing

it might have been that he was terribly disappointed the dusty bud he found wrapped in tinfoil lost its Wowie 

bud waondering around without its THC is like an old man without his pants crepeskin legs stretchedout whitey tighties cuz they were cheap at Kmart and there wasnt a soul interested in seeing him in his underwear or naked 

before his wife died they were married 66 years hed walk into their bedroom after a shower in only his briefs and his wife would growl at himroll her eyes truth was he did the same for her when he caught her dressing before the mirror on her vanity in her bra and panties

they growled for 66 years until she was called away 

their growling and prowling gave them nine children

they survived four of their children 
                                     and each death rapped their skullstapped their spines shrank them  and then three of their grandchildren died

she was beside herself  That wasn’t supposed to happen to us, you and I, we weren’t supposed to outlive our children, our grandchildren; they were supposed to bury us. Moja kohana, I can’t, I can’t do this no more.

just before their third grandchild died she told her sister over the telephone  You tell Ania, you tell your sister I’ll see her soon.

his wife died thirteen days after their granddaughter

thats what bad bud gave him

had it been good bud

                       had he been ragingtopped off with THC  like a good head on a beer his old man told him that a raw egg in a beer always gives you good head he might have reimagined relived the night in San Francisco when he was a bit too drunk and got a bit too frisky with a Chinese girl who sported a scarcely concealed rack – something he didnt see every day – who took exception to his drunken ogle who took exception to him calling her Oriental -- all the countries fled his head -- who pulled some kungfu shit on him and kicked his ass in the bar off the Fairmont lobby

rather than her clobbering him  with good bud he imagined rather that they made nice and on the elevator ride up to his room she let him motorboat her against the mirrored wall locking her hips in between his wrists as he gripped the railing 
         

2257,  Monday,  20  4. 20

WHO

           give ya a hint   it is not the World Health Organisation

The Times of Israel reported April 17 that US Intelligence agencies alerted Israel to the novel coronavirus in November 2019

US Intelligence also informed the Trump administration  “which did not deem it of interest”

anyone with half a brain might recall a similar horrific mistake by another administration the Bush administration National Security Advisor Condi Rice and her team ignored a report of an imminent terrorist attack in Jiuly 2001 a report was later presented to President Bush on 6 August 2001 it was titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US” it also was ignored

spanning a generation it seems either entitlement or audacity powers Republicans and Republican presidents  Trumps administration did not learn a damn thing and is responsible for more American deaths than since the Bushs War on Terror began  and leaning in on American deaths in Vietnam

somebody please make a graphic of those comparisons

1827,  Monday,  20  4. 20  now he could get high

https://www.timesofisrael.com/us-alerted-israel-nato-to-disease-outbreak-in-china-in-november-report/                                                     

https://www.politico.eu/article/attacks-will-be-spectacular-cia-war-on-terror-bush-bin-laden/

     when he wrote Lets Get the Death Show on the Road he was being glibtongue in cheek  then he read an article in The New Republic titled Donald Trump’s . . . Death Cult Takes to the Street

as regular as Trumps suppositories the president compelled his clowns last Friday  tweeting  LIBERATE MINNESOTA!  LIBERATE MICHIGAN!  LIBERATE VIRGINIA, aw Virginia doesnt get an exclamation point and save your great 2nd Amendment. wha is it Donny It is under siege!  

                                                  https://newrepublic.com/article/157356/donald-trump-coronavirus-protests?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tnr_daily

the 2nd Amendment A well regulated Militia – The National Guard last he heard – being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

tortured logic to scream like a little girl that Sheltering – at – Home threatens gun rights – Hell! hundreds of students murdered in their schools havent threatened gun rights – other people other than the monkeys who jump at the bars and shake and rage have certain unalienable Rights as enshrined in the Declaration of Independence  that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

                                                      Oops  lets not forget that all men are created equal

the Declaration of Independence was signed 4 July 1776

the Constitution was signed in 1787

the 2nd Amendment was ratified in 1791

priorities

priorities

the presidents are skewed

his words dont sound like hes intent on defending and protecting the United States

1535,  Monday.  20  4. 20

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript  

never let anyone insult you at your own assembly

fuckin cut em off at their knees and let them drag themselves out the door

its not a gathering for free speech

Shaddup Listen

Ill tell you what I am feeling and what I think  Believe that

Ill tell you what is right for me And what is wrong

he detested blowhards  of any stripe

his daughter was holding her own

she dismissed the monkeytold him he wasnt to come back Tell your superiors.

but detesting blowhards he couldnt resist hanging aroundfingers crossed knowing full well it was just a matter of time before they stuck a pin in themselves and blewup shred like a childs toy balloon pieces scattering everywhere

he never did mind picking their pieces up tossing them out in the trash likely from where they came

0118,  Saturday,  14  12. 19

1354,  Monday,  20  4. 20

Crosby, Stills, Nash  Helplessly Hoping  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyquqw6GeXk

gratefully he threw her a curve

she didnt want anything beside her head as she was falling asleep

she didnt like pillows towels anything against the side of her face

her head laid on a marooncoloured UGG blanket

she liked it well enough

her head would roll roll rollright

she had to sleep sitting up for now

congestion in her lungs forbid her from lying flat she chokedcouldnt breathe

falling asleep rather catnapping her head rolled rightshed wake turn her head roll it left

on and on and on shed roll roll roll her head right and left  

she looked uncomfortable 

she didnt open her eyes

she was driving him nuts  driving herself nuts

he sat beside her in a ladderback chair he needed to be as uncomfortable as possible it was his watch

hed fix her wagon 

shed get some sleep if it killed him

he rolled up a pillowcase

semiconscious she rolled her head left

quicklystealthily he slipped the rolled pillowcase under the UGG created a bumper 

her head rolled right again

her cheektemple rolled against it

she nuzzled the UGG

her breathing deepened

intently he watched

she slept   

she slept for better than forty minutes not once rolling or rocking her head

actual sleep 

when she woke

unlike other times

she didnt awake with a start a panic

forty minutes

forty minutes

he was grateful

1532,  Friday,  13  12. 19

1118,  Monday,  20  4. 20

his daughter and soninlaw had decided to downsize

that had never been something he ever had to worry about

they never owned a house

when they were younger the only reason that spurred him in particular to own was to have a yard to grow a garden in

then his wife got sick

                       and they were grateful they didnt have a house they would have lost it

his daughter and soninlaw bought a small house outside Los Angeles 

which upset their daughters

they were going to have to share a bedroom

it was wise they didnt say anything to him

he didnt have a bedroom to himself until his wife died 

he think he paid too much

                            too much

they asked him if he would help them move

he moved furniture professionally weekend gigs for years to help make ends meet when

they sold off their livingroom furniture it wouldnt fit in the new house sold their diningroom table leaves chairs and buffet they wouldnt fit either

they went through their closests through the girls closests sold clothes gave away clothes

his daughter said We’re going through our books . .

. . Your library Excuse me for interrupting

You crack me up, Dad. You have a library. We have books. We’re not – excuse me for saying so – attached, or committed to our books. You have to have hardbounds, first editions, which speak to you. Books aren’t possessions to us.

Okay Would you mind if I go through the books youve decided not to take Ill buy them from you

No. Take them, please. You can’t buy them.

they kept more than they thought they would

Hey he told them Books pack well Theyre stable stackable make for good bases for lightermore fragile items Theyre gold

he only took a few they werent going to move

he wasnt into fantasy literature 

thats what he said

they were impressed they had books he called literature

he just wanted them to feel good about their books

1043,  Monday,  2  12. 19

2319,  Sunday,  19  4. 20

The Beatles  Paperback Writer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SepZDSkY4Ro