28.5.19


he even had the traffic drones at the lights crosswalks tell him three times that he couldnt cross – he liked people inanimate things telling him three times not to do something because he liked to deny and ignore them – three strikes an youre Out is the saying  Buhbye  

he coopted it 

the game had long ago ceased holding sway over his imagination
                                                                      he was sorry it had 
he had fond memories of stickball on the street and pickup games in parks trees aligning foul lines a bundle of branches or leaves madeup the bases the hardball was wrapped in black electricians tape because they found it in the trash thrown away when its cover came off the bats they used hadnt fared well either knobs broken off a wild swing pulling it out of their hands the pitcher infield ducking throwing themselves down out of its waySORRY! tapers and barrels gouged labels obscured they werent Louisville Sluggers Louieville cheap knockoffs they used broken bats bodys and handles stabbed in the ground to help better define the foul lines too

he tried to talk his parents into letting him play Little League when he was old enough   

then it was a sign-up fee a cap a tshirt 

not the rigmarole it is today

kids gotta look like pros uniforms cleatswhats wrong with gym shoes no pickup games gotta play on groomed regulation fields foul lines cant waver or wiggle cant guess if the balls fair or foul batters used to call it as they ran there werent fences to knock the ball over relays often got a kid sliding at home the plate dug out of the earth by a kids heel

his parents said No

they said they werent spending their money  

I can make money

They take checks. You can’t sign permission forms.

cut and dried

so he only began playing legit ball when he got to high school

by then he was seveneight years behind the curve and didnt have a reputation to precede him

despite that he made the team three years

played sparingly

coaches wanted to win

fourth year his broken arm from basketball didnt heal in time

he couldnt try out

never was able to establish a reputation to have a place held for him

probably the only thing that went right his senior year was winning the pool between better than ten guys who had a sense of humour regarding the lottery for Nam 

but they were going to college

had places held for them

he didnt

he went to Canada


he was an American misfit

1436,  Friday,  24  5. 19
1321,  Monday,  27  5. 19

27.5.19



Well that aint fuckin right

they reminded him of his granddaughter whod sneak into his bed early morning to cuddle

Did you dream sweetheart he asked sleepily

she said she did and elaborated

Did you dream, grampa?

I did  he elaborated

afterwards they sighed  smiled  looked deep in each others eyes   they enjoyed that they confidedcontinued forming their bond

then shed roll over onto her back as he anticipatedexpected  lay there for a moment  

Grampa. I’m hungry.

Then its time for breakfast

she was always enthusiastic about food


then too many times his daughter came into the kitchen as he prepared breakfast  What are you doing?

Making breakfast

his granddaughter retreated  cowered

Do you know what time it is?

Time for breakfast

No. Both you back to bed. Honey, go to bed.his granddaughter trailed off sheepishly Dad. You know what time it is?

No  Gia said she was hungry   Breakfast

You look outside?

Theres not a window in the basement

It’s still dark, Dad. It’s just past fourthirty.

Fuuck

Yeah. Go back to bed. We’ll have breakfast together in another three hours.

Fuuck



No that aint fuckin right

his kittensnine weeks old played their Magic Fingers across the bed over up an across his body he didnt need quarters then his queen walked up onto his chest and muzzled his face 

Is it time october

he smacked his lips

she knew

the kittens were attentive 

they were beginning to follow the lipsmacking food would soon be in the offing 

he liked their quick intelligence


he stretched

they began to anticipate his movements they leapt off the bed congregated at its foot

Awright babies TIME TO EAT! he smacked his lips

they followed him into the kitchen at their mothers heels

he served up their portions

they doubled back into the bedroom where he fed themwhere they fed at their mothers teats under the highboy

then he doubled out to feed indie the odd man out when a woman a female is in the throes of caring for their first borntheir first litter theyre unhinged for all the right reasons and indie was paying those dues 
not fair 
        but then who said lifes fair

he successfully negotiated herding cats 

try that sometime

he was a superior animal


when the gymnastics were over he looked at the clock
FUCK

he went to bed at three

it was just past eight


his cats followed their bellies like his granddaughter did


he wasnt pointing any fingers


he was just saying

0809,  Sunday,  26  5. 19

26.5.19


theres nothing as quiet or thoughtful as a vacant school  a school closed for the summer the building like a tombstone its wideeyed windows invoking memorieskisses in clothes closets corners stood in dunce caps coercion writing I will not . . . on blackboards onehundred times its repetition making the violation mute  instilling it  boys usuallymen always cant read the not it drops like a yellow leaf withering on a green plant I will not pull Betsy’s ponytail  she shouldnt have had her thick mane pulled back and enticing she knew what she was asking for when she brushed it back and tied it off with coloured yarn
                        later in high school they played  he yanked her ponytail in the back of a parked car

some people never learn their lessons


versus a vacant school cemeteries were louder

he didnt mean to compare the dead to teaching the dead well actually   yahhedid  he meant the comparison  current events civics werent taught any more kids picked them up off social feeds unassigned usually mutilatedtwisted lying a bone to pick a cause to rally by whatever means possible 
                                                                     honesty  truth  its casualties

but when ones driving home a point they use whatever tools are at their disposal to drive the nail discretion be fucked  If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying hard enough.

if he ever ran into the shithead who coined that meme hed shove it up his or her ass  and twist it 

Ben Franklin Honesty is the best policy
                                           although Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter to Nathaniel Macon who? Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom


we have drifted perilously far from humane reasoned considerations

it seems only avarice compels us to wag our tongues
                                                         truth be damned 


1418,  Friday,  24  5. 19
1533 (or 333), Saturday,  25  5. 19


Four horsemen of the Apoplectic sally
                                           Drumpf Barr Pompeo  Bolton

fawning  Pence rides a wild ass in their dust

the ass does his best to keep up because he has been promised all the grain he can eat in Heaven and will dally with thirteen hardenedor seventeen  virgins sex  whats that?

the ass can trust Gawd 

Hes good for it

0859,  Sunday,  26  5. 19  


Gina Haspel helped the CIA erase black site torture tapes OHexcuse me  enhanced interrorgation tapes  maybe
Ms Haspel now CIA head  and other Intelligence heads  will help disappear documents Barr  FAKE PRESIDENTs henchman  may want to see

Oops! my bad, General; my regards to Vlad 

0111,  Sunday,  26  5. 19

25.5.19


he texted his daughter

:  :  Arrived in Phoenix bathroomHA! possibly too much fiber in my diet yesterday

theres an upside to everything if you dont get too caught up in the moment if you bide your time look around

he discoveredsitting there on the public pothis bowels humming “Go Greyhound and leave the driving to us” 

Of course

No sense fightin city hall city hallyes  not his bowels


he discoveredsitting on the public pot when he looked right  the toilet paper dispenser shoulder height seemed placed a mite bit high if a kid was on the squat he might not be able to reach the tucked-up toilet paper an attendant with a sense of humour then a shifta sudden movement below caught his eye  someone was quiet in the stall beside him

he looked down

beneath the edge of the stall partition he could see the occupants left shoe

a nice leather shoe 

a tied-up two-tone brown-tan Oxford

Very nice

Chic
     look at him monetising footwear

then he thought Ah whadahell and looked to his left to the grunting gentlemans right shoe it was going to be there no one gives birth without the feet widespreadknees apart

the shoe intruded into his stallGRUNT  no footsie

another nice pair of shoes! he wasnt in the company of common Joes

nice to know though not only do they put on their pants one leg at a time but they shit too

he could have been embarrassedhe wore flipflops
                                                   he wasnt


he hadnt considered this entertainment before a new game to play while traveling a new game beyond patented people watching

WHAT GREAT FUN! 
                     better fun than playing inane games on smartphones


then his imagination played with himposed  Yathink well ever shit beside a clown Gaze down at his big clowny shoes toeing into our space 
                         Can we stomp

We can stomp he hoped they wouldnt be wearing flipflops if that were the case

0801,  Thursday,  16  5. 19
1250,  Saturday,  25  5. 19

treasonous Trump


he thought  Russia, if youre listening . .


then he thought  I think your lackey is either outperforming your wildest dreams or he takes orders well

1111,  Saturday,  25  5. 19

transparent Trump



“Did you hear what she said about me long before I went after her, didn’t you hear? She made horrible statements, she knows they’re not true, she made she said terrible things, so I just responded in kind.”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0gaSh7ErqA

that was his response to an altered video of Speaker Nancy Pelosi that he tweeted


transparent Trump boohooing

no Daddy 

no Roy Cohn

hes gonna take his ball an go home                                 
                                                sniff sniff  sniff      sniff  sniboohoo


thats the President of the United States 

Kahrist Awmighty

1030,  Saturday,  25  5. 19
603 days remaining or less

24.5.19



the TSA agent walked up on him

he voluntarily requested a pat down 
                                      he wasnt sheephe wouldnt walk into a machine that its manufacturer attested was safe he remembered other despicable manufacturers company managements who declared their products safe their cigarettes their oil their opiods and all the while winking and noddingsniffing back laughter modifying their products to attract addict their consumers Miserable fuckingreedy bastards Gawddamn liars  and he particularly remembered the politician who pushed cajoled ramrodded the legislation for their adoption that they become mandatoryrequired  that they would help assure safe air travel in the New World  the congealing Homeland Fatherland Muthaland 

legislation passed 

the politician left Congress to sit on the scanners board for a fat chunk of change



the TSA agent was obviously sweating  he muttered Christ  
                                                              apparently annoyed he hadnt follow the herdhadnt taken the clue not to stand alone stand oblivious to the mainstream

he said Good morning

Yeah. TSA used the back of his gloved hand to wipe a trickle of sweat from his temple Good morning.

Busy morning this morning

Busier than I thought it was going to be. Almost hectic.

he looked at the line it was proceeding smoothly  everyone was following orders 

he was the only hitch in the gittyup

TSA snapped his blue latex glove at the wrist

the wrist didnt snap it splittore down into the palm of his hand

he didnt say FUCK although his eyes screamed it Aw, man, I’m sweating like a pig.

Glovesll heat you up

They do he said yanking at the torn glove 

it stuck to his flesh like glue Fer Christssake.

Youre a better man than me I hate wearing gloves . .
. . I do too, but it pays the bills.

Gotta pay your bills

Gotta eat.

he stripped off the ruptured glove

he struggled to slip a fresh one on

once he donned it he paused  Hmm. I think . . as he said that he pulled a swab out of its sterile container and began wiping the palm and fingers of the glove containing his obviously dominant right hand . . I think I don’t want to finger you.

Finger me

Yah. You’d be surprised the contaminants we pick up off of shoes and bags, the luggage we handle . . we have no idea where we picked them up. But they’re there.

Contaminants 

Yes.

Contaminants that would point  to me

Yes.

he placed the swab in the machine


moments later it buzzed the test failed

Man, good thing I swabbed my glove before patting you down. he struggled to pull the clinging glove from his sweaty hand 

Good thing  A good thing because it failed  I didnt

Had I patted you down, swabbed, it failed; you would have failed.


he didnt answer 

he let TSAs remark hang in the air

a pregnant pause



I would have failed

Yes.

Youre pretty casual about that 

What would have followed

We, I, would have had to detain you; further scrutinised you, gone through your belongings.

Because of your error

We wouldn’t know it was our error.


You said prior to swabbing you didnt want to finger me

I did. I didn’t want to finger you. That’s why I checked, why I swabbed the glove.

But you could have


I could have.

You wouldn’t have known the difference.



I do now

You do.

If I ever fail my pat down Ill challenge it You might see this is cold comfort

I do.

Cold comfort But a perk

Perk?

Yes

I didn’t mean it as a perk. I meant next time you might want to be more efficient, use the scanner, it’s less invasive.

Less invasive because you know that   Or you were told that

Because it makes things more fluid.

Fluid

Ill say this as Brad Pitts character said in the film A River Runs Through It . . 
. . Good film . . 
. . Then we have something in common He tells his brotheryou might remember Ill never leave Montana

Ill never submit to be scanned

They could make it mandatory.


Id drive


0556,  Thursday,  16  5. 19
1239,  Friday,  24  5. 19


our Rose Garden briefly smelled like dogshit

mebbe he stepped in ithad it on the bottom of his shoe his heel certainly not his sole

“I’m the most transparent president probably in the history of this country.” 
                                                                                his transparency was preceded by his continuing attempt to coopt his audience  to infer that their polite quiet attention meant they believe as he said  “Well it turns out I’m the most, and I think most of you would agree to this, I’m the most transparent president . .”   

mebbe he prefers not to recognise that most of his Rose Garden audience was FAKE NEWS  “enemies of the people”  or mebbe he was only addressing his attendant sycophants  

the camera angle precluded the audience

ending his remarks he turned his back on them and walked away off camera a reporter cried ”Mr. President! Mr. President! Have you read the Mueller Report? Mr. President, have you read the Mueller Report?”


“I don’t do cover-ups. You people know that probably better than anybody to my way of thinking, and I know a lot of you agree with me, the crime was committed on the other side.”



he had to agree with Drumpf 
                               his transparency is obvious  
hes twinned the word 

theres the transparency many would assume refers to his political and administrative doings

but theres perhaps an unassumed transparency  how he acts in public lies in public obstructs in public

that was the transparency he believes the FAKE PRESIDENT chooses


1630,  Thursday,  23  5. 19
1119,  Friday,  24  5. 19
604 days remaining or less

23.5.19


oddly  he synched D-Day June 6, 1944 with his daughter
                                                           they were incongruous at best

D-Day was seventyfive years agomore than twice her age

her connexion was through her great-uncles who fought in the war 

they were all dead now

they never talked about the war 
                                  unless they talked amongst themselves during family picnics at Lake Michigan at lakes in Indiana Ohio and Michiganstanding around a picnic table to place their sweating tin beer cans the whisky bottle they pulled at  shared

when they gathered to a side the children were chased away by the aunts

he was chased away

his daughter only knew them as old men  they were kind to her



her synchow she synched with the thousands who died June 6, 1944  Allied forces  Germans   thousands  the surf and sand tinted with their bloodtheir minced flesh shattered bones 
                                                                       she synched with a remark she made that took his breath awayforming a huge smile on his face because it occurred to him that she thought as he did

she said JesusChrist woudja SHADDUP! I’m trying to enjoy the ride.

Out of the mouth of babes

her remark was in regards to an aircraft failure if she were inside it the plane was going down despite the pilots best efforts 

she wouldnt have knowingly taken the ride but now that she was committedhad no choice or option Well, fuck, might as well enjoy it, huh? Enjoy the last moments of my life.

fear can be tempered

why be hysterical


nobody gets out of Life alive


afternoon,  Monday,  13  5. 19
1015,  Thursday,  23  5. 19
The Barr Brothers  Bring Me Your Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPSZ5tC8JcY