https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViUxE1wAgu8  Dulcimer played  Miles Perkin

it played as he held the baby bird in his hand

when he got home from work last night wee his outdoor cat had it cowed against the wall beside the front door AwKahrist he muttered ya kiddin me

he scooped the bird up

brought it into the house

put it in a shoebox with torn paper towel bird seed water

in the morning he went outside  scratched for grubs insects

the baby bird refused them

he sat the bird in the box beside him

kept his curious indoor cats away

the bird fluttered

maybe the flutter meant it could fly he doubted it

he took it outside

the baby bird fluttered

he or she sang several times

he was encouraged

he came back inside

set the bird beside him again

played some music off youtube

suddenly the bird scratched moved violently

panted

spasmed

         NO  Nonono he picked it up quicklyheld it Im here Im here he whispered   here: pitiful

the baby bird spasmed twothree times

                                                                                                 exhaled its last breath

what did he think he could do?

1124,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  5. 19

now thats something he didnt see every day
                                               if he considered being conversantpointing it out to someone passing by  because he was prone to pointing things out  he knew others were disconnectednot mindfultheir heads mired in one thing or another  not present  not aware  comfortable in their surroundingswhich was a mistake  perfect victims  enabling their victimization 
                             had he considered being conversant he might have said Now thats something you dont see every day

as a matter of fact

hed never seen that before

he was walking through a parking lotup on cars parked before a short wall  whitepainted concrete blocks mortared threehigh capped rounded  troweled mud  he liked its unevenness 

walking up on the cars to pass between one or another to step over the retaining wall he was attracted by a dirty white Dodge Caliber

                rather he was attracted to the message fingered in the haze of dirt on its rear unibumper it formed to the car to increase its aerodynamics his 4Runners steel bumper would crush a car like this  good thing the plasticmoulded Caliber was equipped with airbags seatbelts ejector seats 

the fingerwriter had a sense of humour

the fingered advertisement made him wanna stick around and see ifn fact the ad was true

tempting

he looked around to see if any women were coming out of the grocerystore walking in the direction of the car

tempting

nah hed let his imagination run away with him

nice thing about imaginations 

they could run anywhere and imagine anything

still tempting

he loitered long enough

Oh well  he said out loud

he went between the Caliber and a red sawed off Jeep Renegade with the manufactured Xed-out taillights when he saw those in traffic they irritated him then over the white block wall 
                                                                    places to go things to see people to do

still
        he mused what she must have looked like

the fingered advertisement in the haze of dirt YUMMY PUSSY

1459,  Friday,  3  5. 19 

1253,  Saturday,  4  5. 19 

The Cars  Just What I Needed  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5-rdr0qhWk

it rocked him onto his heels

                           he hadnt expected to see himself watching himself  at evenings end his visage spying him from the black vertical band of the mirror at the end of the hall 

the light he turned on in the laundryroom for his queen and her three six-week old kittens crossed before itblinding it  quieting its silver  leaving it only a vague ethereal effort to reproduce what it could reflect 

                                                                                                phantasmical   unsure whether it ought to reflect anything or not 

confused glass

it reduced his corporeal being to a slim ghostly shimmer 

                                                         and he couldnt help but wonder if that wasnt what death did reducing him bit by bit like a lingering disease until he could barely be seen  a dull lit candle flame  susurrating  dim dimming  dimming   until he finally found his way out of where he had awkwardly stumbled into so many years ago    

0119,  Sunday,  5  5. 19

1511,  Sunday,  5  5. 19

Lhasa de Sela  El Payande  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8olkqS919OQ

he paid more attention to girls and women than to men  but he would naturally   men didnt interest him  

women  when he asked  he appreciated that the asking in itself was a predicate a leverage or suggestion  they admitted that they paid more attention to boys and men  however not to the exclusion of women

                                                                                                      as he excluded men

they noticed other women

he recorded talleymarks on the concave walls of his skull  crossed the four hashmarks with a diagonal line to make them five in the appropriate columns he fashioned to differentiate the sexes

his data was prejudicedleaned-heavily with results from women  as would be expected

men didnt interest him

as he walked up on the bridge he was anxious to cross it for on the far sidesince the winter rains had filled the creek beneath it  he noticed a turtle sunning itself on a broken concrete abutment which was probably once a footing of the bridge that preceded this artful arched steel one

in his hurry he was oblivious of the teenager who approached the bridge from the opposite side  and it wasnt until he stepped sharply to the railing that he realised he cut her off  made an impediment of himself 

Im sorry please excuse me  distracted he mumbled an apology he was already at the railing looking down over its edge to see if he could see the turtle  randomly crossing the bridge he walked everywhere he could he often saw the turtle

his distraction attracted her

she stopped at the railing beside him  Whatcha looking for?

A turtle

I don’t think there are any turtles in the creek.

No  Theres oneIve seen him several times  so whenever I cross the bridge I cross it on this side to see if I can see him or her again

he looked up  brieflylooked her in the face

she raised her head and looked at him

Hello he said

Hello she replied

A turtle?

Yes   There he pointed there  near the bank  on the broken slab of concrete just beyond the water

Oh goodness.  I see.

I didn’t think anything lived in the creek.

Its a nice affirmation isnt it

Hello  he called down into the creek bed at the turtle 

he turned to her again  I always say hello

she didnt skip a beat  Hello, turtle!

Have you named him or her?

No  Naming to me is a kind of possession  We cant possess a wild thing can we

she smiled  No. You’re right. We can’t possess, or should want to possess, a wild thing.

Agreed  We need more wild things in the world

That’s a funny thing to say, don’t you think?

No  Wild things are dying offbecoming extinct at an unrelenting pace  Just walking into town Im now returning home walking into town I found the remains of three squirrels that had been run over  

Terribly  I might add  Im not at all confident that the drivers who speed on that side street were troubled that they ran them down

Its only a squirrel

Which you don’t believe; it’s only a squirrel.

No I dont  It has every right to life as the clown who ran them over  

It hurts the heart

Yes.

Yes

the teenager was Hispanic Mexican light possibly mixed startling green eyes compacted curved long thick jetblack hair  wide-eyed

It was nice talking to you, seeing the turtle, that was really nice.

Nice talking to you

Goodbye.

Goodbye

he stayed a couple minutes longer watching the turtle sun itself

it never moved

stillness is a kind of camouflage

hidden in full sight

Awright pal  Hope to see you again 

walking away from the bridge he made another talleymark on his skull the teenager was yet another female he noticed and he noticed what he liked best about her was who was raising herwho taught her her confidence her head up not averting her eyes not fearful  to be inquisitive  who taught her her judgment of character her discernment  to meet a stranger on a bridge and look and see a turtle

hed bet the next time she crossed the bridge shed look for the turtlethe next time she walked along a road shed look for a hapless crushed squirrel

Yah  he said out loud  Im not a betting man but Id bet she will

 

1602,  Friday,  3  5. 19

1048,  Saturday,  4  5. 19

Barr Brothers  Beggar in the Morning  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JU4T9iqNTo

Make America Great Again

MAGA  reminded him of MAGgots or GAgging 

                                                 usually he was kinder or more respectful  but the last three years had turned him

when one calls another not by their name Drumpf  not by a childish nickname or calls them cunt and those who know him knows of who he speaks

                               he really despised spoiling perfectly good vulgar slang 

Make America Great Again? caused him wet dyspepsia  

                                                        there was however a singular insular descriptive 2hr 10mins he could point to Frank Capra captured them in 1939

Mr Smith Goes to Washington:  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0031679/videoplayer/vi1789722905?ref_=nv_sr_1_v_1

1609,  Monday,  6  5. 19

the oath sworn by the men and women who serve America as senators or congresspersons is not political: I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter . .

                   they might remember that 

Crest PRO HEALTH toothpaste the type of tube you could stand on its head  very effective

it wasnt his

it was hers

toothpaste spoilsdoesnt it

he was pretty sure it did

it wasnt McDonalds fries

Ah   there  imprinted raised EXPDE18 expired not too long ago

wasnt it about time he threw it awaylet it go

                                               yaintnoappleseed looked on  his vision was magnified 8X  he thought Pitiful human because he couldnt sayrather couldnt communicate directly with the dunce  Good riddance man  Let it go  Then maybe youll quit accosting me every time you use the bathroom  wash your hands  shower  shave your face

Maybe youll get on with your life

spider notwithstanding he had had that conversation with himself too many times to count

when the bathroom mirror tired of his silent interrogations it threw De Niro in his face when he paused looked into it questioning himself

                       You talkin to me   Youtalkin to me     You talkintome

AwChrist  

            Then who the hell . . you talkin to me   Well, I’m the only one here

Yahoo yaintno thought De Niro aint standing across from you in the mirror  As I said its high time you get on with your life

but he hadnt the spiders perspectiveperception 

he hadnt its patience survival aspect

spin a web

wait and see

eat insects

a wait and see arachnid chiding him to get on with his life

it didnt have to say so

he could feel its accusations by 8X

he was a biped

the spider octopused walking around upsidedown on the ceilingrappelled on nearlyinvisible tensile silk

he could feel its accusations by 8X Get on with your life

yaintnoappleseed was as nimble as a gymnast

Get on with your life

yaintnoappleseed scrambled across his web after hed blow on him asif he was blowing out twenty birthday candles  Sonofabitch  You think I cant hear your thoughts  Look at you trying to put that past me  Such an ignorant yahoo   You understand youre ignorant to try and put that past me

Man Ya need to get on with your life  Throw that expired tube of toothpaste away

It wasnt your type    

0646,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  10  4. 19

1050,  Thursday,  2  5. 19

Robert De Niro  You talking to me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpJOxbaC8YU

bigfoot his outdoor feral cat streaked into the yard feelin his oatshaulin oats 

when bigfoot realised he was watched he pulled upwent sidewaysarched his back maybe the tears streaking his eyes from sheerspeed obscured who he saw

hed been feeding bigfoot six years

only once had they been at odds

a necessary hurtle

a trust confided and accepted

bigfoot let him take his hand out of his mouth it would have been a wicked bite the deep scratches on his forearm were acceptable  

             bigfoot had obviously been abused it is no small task for an abused animal to put asidelet down its guardnot to retaliate to a perceived threat or a vibe

Easy big boyeasy Bigfoot  Good boygood cat  Im not threatening you  I raised my hand too suddenly thats on me thats my fault 

We okay 

Okay

bigfoot crawled out of his lap and went over to the watering can to take some water  probably rinsed blood out of his mouth his teeth made small punctures in his hand 

he halfexpected him to gargle and spit

they were cool

                                                  Haulinoats big guy

he didnt act too indignant 

bigfoot recognised his voice

That was a band bigfoot Ya reminded me Feelin your oats

So what if I am his look communicated

Its a good look on you Usually you dont hustle Not even for food Whats up

So what if I am continued on his face  he turned from being aside and began walking a path he blazed in the backyard up to the porch like deer trails in the hills cowpaths on a pasture 

                                                                     he was pretty sure he blazed particular paths as he walked through town

I think ya might be mistaken bigfoot glared

Nope Not mistaken Haulinoats  I know I know he started humming then broke out into song  Id do most anything that you want me to  but I cant go for that  Nooo No can do  I cant go for that Nooo  No can do   You got the body now ya want my soul  Cat do that   Get it . . .

bigfoot sidesteppedveered off the path then squeezed between fence pickets into the carport 

he wasnt going to listenentertain his singing

No can do

1550,  Friday,  5  4. 19

1444,  Twosday,  30  4. 19

Hall and Oates  I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccenFp_3kq8

he leaned heavily back against the expensive papered wall shaking his headrubbing his eyes irritated  he refusedhowever to let the tension out of his shouldersallow them to fallsurrendersubmit to the barrage of intos his sister clamoured on and on about Would you shaddup please

he wasnt usually rude

she reared up like a viper on the silk livingroom couchExcuse me? Did you tell me to shut up? he saw her readying to play her eldest child of the family card  that was getting old too

a buddy of his recentlyas they talked referred to the tyranny of family

Youre relating tyranny and family  to family

Yes, I am. I believe it.

How do you  let alone say it   believe it

Are you kidding me? Family is a kind of . . of benevolent, if you will, blood-in blood-out gang proposition, it’s violent, cross it, cross its many and you discover how violent it is. When you’re young you don’t comprehend it, you’re cajoled, you’re intimidated; but by those . . methods; it’s still violence.

I dont know that the word violence is correct

Okay. Give me the correct word.

Give me the word, other than violence, that they used to coerce you.

Coercion is also violence.

Maybe  maybe I haventhadnt  considered   it thoroughly   Or as violence

Because your family loves you? You love them.

You love them because they’re family.

I think youre being difficult

It is difficult. Why?  It is difficult because it’s your family? Have you not seen ill-will in your family against you, petty perhaps, but nonetheless ill-will, hope you fail: “You really blew that, what were you thinking?” “You’re an idiot!”

When someone loves you, they supports you, help you . . they don’t take you down or furthur demoralise or belittle you . . when you’re demoralised as is.

Isn’t that a violation; a violence?

Love, outside the family, is unequivocal. 

There shouldn’t be servitude inside family, hierarchy, many pitted against the one; a family should be sanctuary, support.

Hard to argue 

Hows your family

They’re fine, if I can surmise. I try to keep abreast with letters, they’re not very literate, they even refuse to send postcards. So I remain at a distance. I leave them to themselves.

Family is people.

People are people.

I accept my family are other people.

And I do not pledge fealty.

Perhaps because you live apart at a distance  from them

I do. Yes. But they live within an hour of each other, and they are not disposed to sharing their lives. I am geographically distant, which could be my excuse, or reason; reason or excuse. What would theirs be?

I ask, because I haven’t a fucking clue.

he saw her fingering her eldest card Dont

Don’t?

Yes Dont  Youre into into  Youre into tennis into trailriding into swimming into Church into  I cant remember

I can appreciate your into-ness  your short-lived passions until the next into comes   I can

But howbout you save them to revel in and leave them at the front door when we visit  Or just share one not dominate conversation  Yes  because its your world  I understand  I understand  We have to live in it

he looked aside  looked to his sister in the chair at the end of the couch  Bets Whats new with you

Well, I never . . 

. . No  You never have  Get used to it

Bets What are you into

But please one thing Bets  then leave the floor to the next Bill or Bob or hows that song go  SimonPaul Simon Al  What does Al have to say

What are you talking about?  his eldest sister said side-eyeing him

Im talking about anything other than what you wanna talk about 

                                                                     Princess  she gasped Your reign is over

 

0642,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  10  4. 19

1231,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  5. 19

Mice Parade  Snow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER9h4gaccjA  

Paul Simon  You Can Call Me Al  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOrSxzfV05Q