he always appreciated that his body tipped him offthought well enough of themtheir brain so that it awoke themnudged them a gentle elbow in the ribs middle of the night so they didnt shit the bed so they didnt wake in the morning unalone  Stickys alias anally conceived  

                                        not a Joy!

howd that work

nobody he asked knew the answer

everyone concurred who didnt like to concur but no one knew

                                                             and Religion thinks it has its Mysteries its undiluted indelible Truth

squatting on the potemptying his bowels  the banana peppers with his In-N-Out burgers proved his undoing  he was fuckin grateful to whatever the processprocedureprotocol was that he didnt shit in bed

                                                                         his queen october he didnt know she was a queen birthed three kittens between his legs one night he had to strip the bed wash the blankets sheets protector it failed dry them before he could go back to sleep hed be damned if hed have redundant bedding it was only himself and a bed his bluff called he was accountable he never had trouble standing at the bellnever had been coldcocked rocked knocked out of this consciousness into another STARS INKY BLACKNESS he had no idea what was on the other side of his consciousness if it reeked of his dream world hed have no trouble lingering there labyrinths mazes doors  people he didnt recognise  which meant it was unlikely their playtime would ever get back to someone he was intimate with

intimate

they were few and far between

he was loquacious social but only if he had to be if required

he preferred being an introvert

                                 like one inside church looking out through its stained glass windows 

outside looking in the beauteous coloured glass looked like shit hence  perspective matters

he didnt mind slipping into other peoples shoes

he was curious

to be incurious was a sin

being a sociopath was a sin

there werent enough Hail Marys or The Lord is My Shepherds at confessional to cover a sociopaths sin and scat with dirt

Hail Mary,/Full of Grace,/The Lord is with Thee./Blessed art thou among women,/and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus/Hoily Mary, Mother of God/pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death./Amen.

right

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want./He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters./He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake./Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me./Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over./Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever./Amen.

Ahha  Hmm

Ye of little faith

he preferred reason to faith

maybe Thou protecteth he from a dropping a deuce in his bed

0353,  Saturday,  6  4. 19

1243,  Saturday,  13  4. 19

MSNBC Donny Deutsch 18:26 minute-mark https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/trump-takes-tough-stance-on-immigration-to-a-new-level-1490219075589

Aaliyah  Back and Forth  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0pQjYk9150

whos a sociopath  really    who? 

MSNBC Donny Deutsch 18:26 minute-mark https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/trump-takes-tough-stance-on-immigration-to-a-new-level-1490219075589

1158,  Saturday,  13  4. 19

ever smell Limburger cheese 

                              if a sociopath smelled like Limburger cheese  the FAKE PRESIDENT smells like Limburger 

“an attempted coup an attempted takedown of a president”                                                          

“They spied on me WAAAH”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQGEoNpHrRQ

coups overthrow leaders

methinks he thinks himself a Leader

Ohhorseshit

              cunt  at 0821 hours Saturday  tweeting (NO he hasnt read the Mueller Report because his attention span is that of a gnat a gnu  a gcunt): “Why should Radical Left Democrats in Congress have a right to retry and examine the $35,000,000 (two years in the making) No Collusion Mueller report, when the crime committed was by Crooked Hillary, the DNC and Dirty Cops? Attorney General Barr (political hack) will make the decision!”

"I am going to be reviewing both the oranges and the conduct of intelligence activity": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqqRUbI1rDQ

high time someone inside surreptitiously releases the Mueller Report think Chelsea Manning  a real American hero  Id like to see cunt and Barr withstand one year of solitary confinement  naked

thirtyfive million dollars was paid by American taxpayers 

ya buy a productya buy anything ya ought to have it

began @ 1014 finished @ 1041,  Saturday,  13  4. 19

he packed his toothbrush and toothpaste for the road trip in the wee hours of the morningtoo tired the night before after coming home from work he dropped into bed clothed

if he didnt time it right hed be driving east into the rising sun then the leg rolling due south forty minutes wouldnt help him escape its direct glare and inspection although he was really getting good at this trip gettin good  nine times over the last eleven years Fuck the Rising Sun!  few would ever imagine the irony of that cry

sixteentwenty minutes down the road it began pestering him that the toothpaste he may have packed was his grrlfriends mintedCHRIST Crest  at least it wasnt Colgates 

                                                          brushing his teeth was the last of his toiletry he may have been absentmindedanticipating the eleven hour ride  he picked up   the plump tube    not thinking

she used it only a couple of times a couple times  before she left    left  sounded ominous

sounded ominous

                       he tried it on for sizesaid it out loud A couple of times before she left

left coming out of his mouth sounded   final  left    A couple times before she left

he had upended the tube squeezing it lightly before she left how long ago had that been  he squeezed the tube harder 

it wasnt giving 

             it isntisnt Heinz Ketchup he squeezed harder  how long ago had it been

some paste crumbled out of the tube

some paste bounced off his wetted toothbrush 

some paste clung like cocaine sniffedclinging to his moustache

Itd been awhile

How longs a while

Three years  a while

he righted the tube

screwed on its top

tossed it in the enameled babyblue tin bathroom trash

he rinsed off his toothbrush

set it down

he walked into and up the hall into the livingroom to the couch that his duffel lay on to exhume his leather toiletry kit  he unzipped it revealing its contents a quiet shimmer off a sheaf of Lifestyles condoms There he snatched the canopic tube of Arm & Hammer toothpaste

it was easier to exhume than apparently  his relationship  

                                                                  at least his teeth would be clean

his breath fresh

he spit and rinsed the scouring down the drain

he relaxed

he had thrown away the old paste

he made the southern leg as the sun peered over the hilled horizon like a busybody

2221,  Twosday,  9  4. 19

1017,  Reggae Friday,  12  4. 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc_CCViZrFY

back

          intact

                    no worse for wear at least not that Id admit

whassup

          yakeep yer nose clean

1852, Thursday,  11  4. 19

                                 he was clinging to restlesssleep dreaming to catch a sliver a handful of something to take ahold of and bring out

                             then suddenlybestowed onesigh bellycramp vague  quiet   envelopingone then several coils of his brain he woke

What was that

onesigh bellycramp

Onesigh bellycramp

it didnt repeat itself

whawas he to do with THAT 

                              certainly something to have emerged   onesigh bellycramp                           

his bowels or bladder didnt waken him

he remembered his dreaming self hanging around  like a kid on a street corner waiting for buddies  

his friends were always a hoot

walking around town they came across corners that teemed with clowns miscreants

What’s a miscreant?

Not desirable Wannabe bad boys Bobby

How do you know that?

Miscreant I read a lot

Yah one sniped If he wasn’t hangin with us he’d be reading; he’s got paperback in his back pocket.

You got a book in your back pocket? Bobby asked

Slaughterhouse-Five  Vonnegut  Billy Pilgrim

An anti-war novel.

Its a humane novel a moral novel  I dont believe ya buy into Nam Jeff

No.

Though yer father does

He was a Marine; what do you expect?

I expect he fought in the South Pacific and Korea so his childrennot that he was thinking that far ahead wouldnt have to fight in trumpedup wars to make money for fat cats

If Im drafted Im not going

You’d rather go to jail?

I side with Ali  “Man, I aint got no quarrel with them Viet Cong.  Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go ten thousand miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on brown people in Vietnam while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs and denied simple human rights?”

You memorize that?

I did You find a hole in his logic

I agree with, Joe said Bobby

Jeff turned to Bobby Your polio fixed you 4-F, you aren’t sweating the draft.

And neither am I  You sweatin Jeff

My brother went into the Coast Guard.

You like me like Bobby like your brother white  Coast Guards obviously an option But I aint military materialI know that I dont like anyone tellin me what to dolet alone not answering my questions why I should do it Im not into blind faith religion or orders

Well . . hope you don’t go low in the draft lottery.

I expect to Karma

You expect to?

Definitely We should get together with the guys on draft nighthave whisky beers pizza twenty bucks apiece in a pot  first birthday turned gets the pot

I’d pay twenty bucks to see you become a draft dodger.

Money well spent  Would help afford me a road trip

You’re fucked up, man. 

No  Whafucks me up is seeing a human being turned into ground beef or a flaming torch  Remember Thich Quang Duc

God bless you.

Funny

No.

Thich Quanf Duc Buddhist monk Immolated himself to fight all forms of oppression  I didnt need to see that on televisionanymore than I needed to see General Nguyen Ngoc Loan execute Vietcong suspect Nguyen Van Lemshoot him in the head on a street in Saigon then walk over to reporters to tell them “These guys kill a lot of our people, and I think Buddha will forgive me.”    

Or anymore than the photograph of Phan Thi Kim Phuc the Napalm girl

You know their names?  What the fuck.

I know their namesI remember what they suffered virtually at our hands  by Americas wha  will   I aint being part of that legacy any more than I hafta assume as being an American

You know their names.

I know their namesremember their names  probably because I was a paperboy who read the papers while walking my routes

You'll go to jail.

Not if I and every draftee refuses to enter the military Think of the optics of every eighteen year oldour generation put in jail

Optics. Vonnegut?

Vonnegut  Reading   Thinking

onesigh bellycramp

 

thinking about it 

                   a bell being rung to pay strict attention to 

otherwise hed nobodyelse  suffer the consequences of ignoring it

early Thursday morning before 0800,  4  4. 19

1253,  Reggae Friday,  5  4. 19

War  Spill the Wine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6qcafgLHe4

smegma

the viscous glue cementingsemening Israeli notions of apartheid has formed a miserable foul crust smegma

Netanyahoo stinks

                    or rather a stinking Netanyahoo  the Jews (those Jews who voted for him) are as unfortunate as the racists and white Nationalists who support Drumpf

https://theintercept.com/2019/04/10/netanyahu-set-victory-israelis-vote-never-ending-military-rule-palestinians/

2306,  Thursday,  11  4. 19

a stain a smegma on the World

                           joining 4thquarter on a free ride through the valley and wildflowersthrough the solitaire desert anup into the red rocks  my soul advised Time to traipse 

              traipsing

                                              yak when Im back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GjYlTwWQHI

1434 aka 234,  Thursday,  4  4. 19

he crossed his fingers that the rain would holdup until he got home

it wasnt long now ten longfifteen minutes 

                                        suddenlywest through rainspattered windows he glimpsed lightning cry disconnected lines jagged broken panestheir quicklight either absorbed or subduedstrangled by towering black dense thunderheads a wall of thunderheads 

                                     awCHRIST he hoped he beat those home

                                                                            the intermittent rain was foreplay  

butthen something  east  drew his eyesdistracted him  marbled yellowamber blushes   occasionally it seemed to him the light they threw was electrical light asif off exploding electrical transformers

                                                                                    one occurred ahead before the black of a ridge several miles away and what he sawhe couldnt have seen  an orangelightedpainted wrist a forearm up to the break inside the elbow thengone  the light snuffed  
Man
     Eyes on the road

eyes on the hills

Eyes on the road

eyes on the hills

  eyes

       tick tock

tick tock

              tick tock

it was making him dizzy

                     then another explosioncloser another painted forearm bicep pec  flashed   gone 

tick tock

tick tock  

           tick tock tick tock ti suddenyellowlighted torso figure  moving westnorthwest scarcelyetched breaking a hilltop  a silhouette    a giant 
                                        giant if he were to believe his eyes  Atlas   Titan   freed of the sky

off the highway a shower of redsparks blacker smoke rising up into the black skyrivulets black ink   the giant  giant  in one step he crossed the four lanesthe median between them  the thunderheads he strove towards were taller  making haste  seemed he was excited by them

the staticky music on the radio was interrupted again civil danger warning if it wasnt an emergency stay inside stay off the roads existing tornado conditions

he hadnt passed a car a car hadnt passed him except for twothree on the other side over ten minutes
almost home

almost home

almost home

no Atlas

                 no more explosions

dancing thunderheads

2220,  Friday,  29  3. 19

1035,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  4. 19

Aaliyah  I Refuse  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U__8YxNS_Zg

huntings no fun when your prey dont run  

                                              wha Run The Jewels rapped in their Legend Has It was “hunting’s no fun when the prey don’t move” their use of “move” was to rhyme with the prior line

he heard it on Ari Melbers political show The Beat it was in reference to a trophy hunter from Illinois who went on safari to kill an African lion and shot it three timeskilling it 

                                                       while the lion slept

not fun

he wanted FUN!  

                 an what would be fun already done on film would be to take the hunter back to Africa on his dime strip him naked then have him run ahead of a clutch of warriors his kind mebbe white wealthy entitled have offended 

in the 60s film the story circa 1880 allowing him to run for his life was called The Lion’s Chance

                                                                                                                          ironichuh

given the Illannoyins karma 

                             it was unlikely to end in his favor 

although terribly entertaining he wouldnt watch the video hed read about it 

                                                                               hed rather watch people fuck than murder

Friday evening,  29  3. 19

1219,  Monday,  1  4. 19

https://www.chron.com/nation/article/Trophy-hunter-who-killed-sleeping-lion-in-video-13703718.php  

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060736/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

it was a Sunday

on top of another Sunday

on top of another Sunday

on top of anotheran another Sunday an another Sunday an a Sunday SundaySunday yaget the pictureshe got the picture

she took Sundays off from work fortythree weeks agonearing a year so they could have timethey could have time together  time for themselves 

what was  them

this Sunday open again 

                          and what she got  three texts the words werent significantdidnt truly matter  the three texts were comprised of twentyfour words

                                     taggers have done more with less

                                                                        mebbe they had more to say

: : sorry for my silence

: : just been enjoying my silence

1837 hours

          shed been up since 0831 the cats were getting restlessgetting hungry  they employed their not-so-subtle ways

thank god they werent dogs

dogs arent subtle

dogs would die if they didnt have their humanstheir Masters

but cats  theyd find a way

                            theyd kill somethingshe was sure if she died unexpectedly at home her cats would eat her

Jesus her friends said that’s a horrible thing to say!

she laughedcovering her mouth they werent sufficiently intimate Survival isn’t pretty. We’ve gotten too far away from really surviving to recognise that. 

Whadyado to survive?   

2332,  Sunday,  31  3. 19