Are those plates the plates you use to feed the outside cats, grampa?

Yes they are  Youre very observant baby    Why

Well . . . you’re feeding us off the same plates.

I am  Ive been eatin off the same plates since bigfoot first shook a leg better than five years ago  

Do you have an issue eating off the same plates as the cats

Aren’t they dirty?

The plates

Yes. You’re feeding the cats off the plates then you’re putting our food on them and feeding us.

You prefer not to eat off those plates

Well . . . the cats ate off them.

So youre better than a cat so I understand

I didn’t say that.

This is your opportunity What are you saying

They’re cats.

Yes They are cats

They’re cats, they should have their own bowls; our dog has her own bowl.

How nice I dont align plates and bowls or distinguish between theirs and minetheres little distinct for me between their animalism and minetheir hunger and mine  We gotta eatit aint like Im pulling the plate out from under their mouths then putting our food on them  I do wash the dishes

You do.

Observant  I do

But the cats ate off them.

And I eat off themand if guests visit they eat off them 

Are you better than a catit seems you think you are

I meanthey should have their own bowls or plates, is what I mean.

They dothey eat off the plates I eat off of

Sorry I shouldnt end a sentence with a preposition

What?

Nevermind  Youre only eightIm sure youll get into sentence structure laterI hope youll get into structuring later  Do you practice handwriting at school on lined paper  primer paper

Huh?

Not everything you do is on the computer is itYour identity

I don’t understand, grampa.

You have interaction between other studentsyou  for lack of a better wordnot that theres a better word  compete  against your classmates in real timeFlash cards  Arithmetic  Addition SubtractionI dont imagine at eight youre into multiplication and division  Spelling Bees

I don’t know what you’re talking about, grampa. We have computers at school and I do my homework on a laptop at home.

You have a laptopJaysus

We get them through the school. We have to be very careful with them. They are our responsibility.

At last  responsibility 

However none of this effaces  erasesya understand

I understand what erase means.

Good

However none of this effaces your evident concern of eating off plates cats eat off of

I think theyre dirty.

Despite me washing themwhats the difference between cats eating off a plate and a homeless person I may have invited into have a bite to eatyour great grandma used to feed men vets who were hungry and who did a little workcut a lawn for a meal

Those were people though.

Street people  Susceptible to disease or illness off the streetfrom out of doors  No real difference between them and feral cats  is there 

Lemme put it to you this way  Were all animals  I dont make distinction between us  You

I suppose I do.

I suppose then you suppose youre better than an animal  And if you think youre better than an animal youll think youre better than another person  then other people   When youre not  That thinking only leads to terrible troubles whenever its been assumed 

Are you hungry this evening

I am. I’m looking forward to dinner.

Dinner will be served on plates that my feral cats have eaten off for at least five years

Still hungry

afternoon, Reggae Friday,  6  7. 18

1406,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  11  7. 18

https://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2011/11/28/grammar-myths-prepositions/

under a barrage of Germanhe couldnt make heads or tails of  subtitles didnt run in his eyes  he went down successive turns of steelclattered steps deeper and deeper into the earths guts  he was hurried compelled by hornshaped speakers in sharp concreteshaped corners  despite rushing it occurred to him that he was impressed that architects devised these subterranean levels impressed that mechanical shovels worked their way excavated untold truckloads of dirt from hundreds of feet beneath the earths surface and did so  apparently  without public eyes worrying their progress  which meantperhaps the populace the taxpayers had no idea of the depth of their investment nor that they personally would never gain interest and should some time demand they would also be deprived of its access as it would be politicians who decided who would have access to these unknown depths  who was worthwhile  or rather no one was more worthwhile than the politicians

then the steps ran out

air was forced down into these spaces through ventilators that groaned as they chilled or heated 

the hallways he saw werent deep doors were few

he imagined that where he stood was at the blunted apex of an inverted pyramid 

how else did the shovels escape

the German didnt cease its command when he bottomed out so he went left down the solitary hallway to a steel and riveted door

he peered through its small glass chickenwired portal before trying to open it

through the glass the room beyond was coloured amber over fatcreamcoloured blocks  which had to be a façade  they werent structural  they were too eleganttoo ornamental  he looked into either a crypt or a sacristy  he was terribly irritated that he conceived it a crypt first before a sacristy  not that either appealed to him  rather that a sacristy left him a little room for hope 

he marveled at the wall he faced  it was marbled and illuminated with tender hues stripes of yellows scarlets greens  an unexpected sunlight pumped in like the forced air  down shafts  sunset   off mirrors

                                                                                              reminding him of an old girlfriends apartment Chicago over a warehouse who aligned the long stairway up to her place with mirrors that fed whomevers face was at the paneglass door through her gaping front door through the livingroom and diningroom and into her bedroom off them  she could be fucking himriding him with abandon  the doorbell rang  she could glance left and see who was at her door downstairs 

she dismounted him only once 

on his boithday

she had a friend who wanted to tagteam him with her  what better time than his boithdayhuh 

an insatiable friend who gamely took whatever he wanted to give her  

a German girl

               who really  reallyresponded  to German

he summonsed a passable accent  a harshduh devolved guttural accent his impersonation of Hitler where else does one dip that got her right between the eyes  ah maybenot her eyes  she caught him buying some time for his weary tongue deftlyvigorously fingering her while singinghumming an inarticulate thick Edelweiss that he snatched from a virginal Julie Andrews The Sound of Music queerhuh  which obviously  obliviously  he memorised for this one moment in time

she squirted 

she caught him right between the eyes 

that was the first time he learned a woman could cum like that 

Blew. His. Mind.

sidetracked

the dream left him standing at the door  looking in fumbling with no hope  hope   dazzled by an underground sunset

0101 text to self, Day-between-Two-Ts, 11  7. 18, relating to a dream earlier Twosday morning,  10  7. 18

0112, Thursday,  12  7. 18

1428, Thursday,  12  7. 18

Edelweiss  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93GjpTi3Lo4

he decided the time had come to let go of things dispatch them  things he used as visual references to remind him  as if they werent there he wouldnt be able to remember

clues  queues

time  it was time

all around him he realised it high time

                                        as he watched people too many to count download their memories into machines upload them into clouds interface have virtual conversations and believe them intimate believe that they were having a real face-to-face communication

they of course wouldnt remember them 

however they could review them anytime they wished – if they could find them

to combat this new burgeoning forgetfulness he realised and understood that like ancient storytellers or historians he would have to be dependent on his memory

he worked hard to hone it 

and part of honing his memory was destroying the touchstones he scattered everywhere

and should his mental steel or whetstone be imperfectbe less than it should  then forgetting was his fault and things forgotten would be the perfect stones hung around his neck to bend and misshape his spine rendering him the old man who watches his feet as he walks rightfully he wouldnt deserve to see what was coming or the hawks circling overhead or the rush of small birds going between treetop shoals

with a gasp the first thing he swept away were appleseeds spiderwebs 

she affixed them to the corners of the ceiling to either side of the mirror above the washbasin

he gulped  vividly remembering her silent companionship his countless grateful words thanking her again and again as she stuck it out with himhelped him fight whatever it was that debilitated himcrippled himsplit him bilaterally from the top of his skull to his anus  difficult pain attacking his joints his wrists and hands yet somehow forgiving him his feet  so at least he was mobile  mobile to struggle from place to place for more than nine months

nine months  before it began to release its hold retract its tines and barbs

nine months crawling in and out of three hot baths daily to loosen him  enough   to manage his curtailed life

remembering appleseed he wept

it turned out that effacing her webs was the hardest hurtle  wouldnt it though  being the first and the first of anything or any change the hardest to finally get out of the way  despite musings  indecision   regret

appleseed disappeared more than two years ago

curious how her silver ethereal web tenaciously bound them  how it transfixed and held him

         

a day or two before leaving for fishing,  22 June 2018

1107,  Monday,  9  7. 18

You whispered Im sorry I couldnt hear you  Whadja say

Really  You didnt hear me

I didnt hear you

I whispered because I didnt want anyone other than you to hear me

I didnt hear you I might have if your breath in my ear hadnt stitch my neckgivin me goosebumps

Youre saying you didnt hear me involuntarily

I would have thought youd listen intently when I leaned in towards you  Intimately

Very Very intimate So much so and so infrequent has anyone whispered in my ear I was literally unprepared to hearlet alone listen

You were breathy

I was unhinged

Do you understand

No  

I would have thought you would have listened intently

So its  No

Yes its no

Thats good to know Good to know despite the legitimate reason I explained for not hearing you  And now that were away from everyone and anyone  you cant or wont repeat yourself

The moments lost

Yes  The moment is lost   It is

You seem to take it as a matter of fact

I do 

As a matter of fact whatever it was you whispered in my ear so no one elsemyself included might hear  that youll not share with me now   Hold onto itkeep your piece  I am as  uninterested  in what it was you said as I am uninterested in you

Are you kidding me

I am not

You might be stupid

No  I am not  Youre welcome to play your game with someone else

    

1925,  Saturday,  3  12. 16

1700,  Sunday,  8  7. 18

the Fake President held a rally in Great (White) Falls Montana 5 July and touted his oratorical skills which the crowd ate up with serving spoons

“So we break all these records (just prior he made reference to Elton John records).

Really we do it without like, the musical instruments.

This is the only musical: the mouth.

And hopefully the brain is attached to the mouth. Right?

The brain, more important than the mouth, the brain.

The brain is much more important.”

I cant tell if Fakers the organ grinder and the crowds the monkey or hes the monkey  and the organ grinder is the crowd

they are symbiotic

host and parasite

0844 text to self,  Twosday,  10 7. 18 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s03BApyJvSE

he didnt anticipate Fakers purported summit with Putin

a couple of nonfactuals getting together rubbing elbows

talking up the cult of personality and no necessity for Law(its a Jewish construct) 

there is one fact of which he was sure

when Faker has died having been replaced by a new president  successive presidents will follow

however when the fictionwhen Putin the Redeemer dies when Russias President for Life is dead  who will succeed him

0858 text to self,  Twosday,  10  7. 18

925 days remaining or fewer

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/07/trump-putin-russia-collusion.html

You get yer hands up baby girl yare an outlaw like me  Right

Yes, grampa.

they highfived

he provoked her he put his hand up

in all fairness -- because he should be -- shes five

his daughter was upset

she was stewing

he could appreciate her anger it wasnt misplaced 

he crossed her

he willingly broke the law

You gonna give me an opportunity to explain myself

Pretty cut an dry, dad.

You think carseats are cut and dry

The law requires them.

The law that made the law says theyre required

No matter, dad. It’s the law.

Its the law that held hands with manufacturers to create a market that didnt exist  Then they put their hands out and profited off their legislation I take issue when laws wrappedup an bowtied pretty are touted rahrahed  sold to people that it was the laws concern for the peoples safetytheir safety  their security 

Politicians are concerned for their security  their safety

The situations are never reciprocal

They think they deserve their dueNOW fuckin short timersshort term thinkers who believe theyre due the whole enchilada that the rest of the country punches timecards dayin dayout the whole of their lives while tryin their damnedest to keep their heads above water endurin new onslaughts the law hurls at em heaves at em throwinem off step throwinem for a loop while bitchinem accusinem that their circumstances are their faults

Progress

When I was growing up there werent seat belts in carsI remember helping your grandfather install them in cars as part of an outreach through the Jaycees a young man organisation an organisation that kicked him out when he turned thirty as were their bylaws as if thirty he wasnt a uoung man any longer or had anything to offer  Horseshit 

Long story short  Laws are made to profit lawmakers

If theres nothing in it for them they aint gonna have it

That’s a dark way of looking at things that save peoples lives.

Enrich people Dont you dare take that out of the equation

Theres money in keeping people alive

Im waiting for the blatant law that outlaws death

Jesus, dad! That’s a terrible way to think.

But you admit Im thinking

Youre always thinking.

I am I think for myself I dont need commentators at the end of a speech to tell me what I just heard a waste of time Then its rethreaded and rethreaded and rethreaded I can appreciate they want you to hear it Once Otherwise its redux like this Fake President uses at his rallies 

I understand. But the girls have to know riding in a car without a carseat is wrong.

You dont think they know that  Theyve been bound every day of their lives  It isnt natural to them if theyre not 

Its something queer to me yet natural to them

Schools ringed in fences rimmed with razorwire  for their safety

Sorry baby Maybe its not queer to you or them but its queer  it offends me

 

0727,  Saturday,  7  7. 18

1301,  Sunday,  8  7. 18

he brought in a couple of heavyhitters Baldwin Dostoyevsky who saw as he saw  saw a very simple premise  which obviously has been passed down through time

What do you mean? his granddaughter asked him 

You got answers I got questions

her expression warped with confusion or was that confusement addled sobriety the confluence of confusion and entertainment

Ohgrampa.

nothing more 

then

Would you excuse me(soo polite)? I’ll be right back. I have to tell Momma something.

Help yourself he replied 

he helped himselfhe always hadhe never asked for permission one doesnt ask permission to flaunt or disrupt the status quowhats deemed acceptable permissible  decent  isnt it a shame that socalled looks a bit like socialed doesnt it socalled decency is prescribed by the majority that which holds itself in esteem and to step away from it deserves ridicule deserves to be despised shamed  so thinskinned   so easily bruised    so effete

he watched his granddaughter go into the house from where they sat on the front porch together enjoying conversation and the refreshment of freshsqueezed chilled oranges

he knew he confused her

he talked straight

Just say what you mean little girldont get caught up in trying to say it nicely or not to mean to hurt someones feeling  Theyll get over it  Theyll get over it as long as your intentions are goodif you meant it constructively  Youve heard of constructive criticism Ill bet  its what teachers do to help you improve  and we all can be improved  There is nothing perfect about human beingstheres really good  but never perfect

I talk straight

No. Not really grampa. You talk she struggled for the word  you talk   funny.

Funny

Like riddles. Funny riddles.  You don’t make sense.

I dont make sense

You don’t.

How dont I make sense

You don’t, that’s all.

Whatever

Huh?

Basically youre giving me whatever  I hate that term  Its dismissive onesided You cant be bothered to complete the argument so Whatever  Were done Over

Grampa, you don’t make sense.

However my little love if you were more patientan youre not youre not a patient person If you were an I know Im asking a lot from you youre only nine  but if you gave what I said some thoughtif you were patient  then Im sure youd see I make a lot of sense when I say You got answers I got questions

Use your imagination

evidently thats all it takes to chase a little girl into the house to her momma

shed be back

she forgot her orange juice

Baldwin said The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions hidden by the answers.

Dostoyevsky We have all the answers. It is the questions we don’t know.

he wasnt original 

few are

however he always sought to use his imagination

                                                    recently he read Claudia Rankines Citizen: An American Lyric who also pulled on Jimmy and Fyodor and as he told his granddaughter Ms Rankine also cited the necessity of imagination

Because White men can’t/police their imagination/Black men are dying

figurin seminal around Saturday, 3  12. 16

0653, Saturday,  7  7. 18

1054, Sunday,  8  7. 18

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/dec/27/claudia-rankine-poet-citizen-american-lyric-feature

Kendrick Lamar  God is a Gangsta (Complicated)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wZytWFm7x0

Awright   he was wrong

but a mans gotta be able to standup on his hindlegs suck it up admit he was wrong

otherwise he aint a man

he was a man

not saying he was apologisingNoope just saying he was probably wrong

                                                                                        probably

he accused seven dwarfs of being gelded by the Russians snipsnip here an a snipsnip there an a couple of tralalas

that was probably unlikelywho the hell flies to Russia to be gelded by Slavs when one can stay stateside be gelded red white an blue style  America still has its impenetrable bastions and nobody can geld like infuriated White racists inspired by envy OHfuckin envy  no one is more envious in the world

THAT SAID

            he was probably errant  he didnt mind admitting his mischaracterisation

again it was unlikely the senators flew all the way to Russia to be emasculated by the politburo members who received them

likely the reason The Seventhey liked that The Seven it reminded them of shiny pate Yul Brunnerhis Magnificent Seven

in reality they likely went to Russia to attend a primer for Oligarchy 101

they want a significant piece of the global pie too who wouldnt

                                                                             however   theres always Timothy   

2 Timothy 3: 1 – 4: This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. / For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boaters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient, unthankful, unholy, / Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, / Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God Look at me he yelped Im SessionsIm Sanders

Awshucks   he must have been blinded by his indignation and spite

oligarchy has been honed to a razors edge by relentless selfish Russiansno matter the cost to their people

thats something to aspire to

any opportunistic Tom Dick or Harry or for that matter Richard(Shelby) John(Kennedy) Jerry(Moran) Steve(Daines) Ron(Johnson) John(Thunes) John(Hoeven) thats a lot of Johns let loose among Russias best prostitutes in the World and many of themcuriously are seated on the Senate Committee on Appropriations which has jurisdiction(jurisdicktion) over all US discretionary spending

from Alabama Louisiana Arkansas Montana Wisconsin South Dakota North Dakota Sea to Shining Sea did anyone wonder what these hicks were doing so far far away from home  did their constituencies know   did they care

these dwarfs grieved him

2052, Fourth of July, 2018

0138, Thursday, 5  7. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur7GnxTkS-M

https://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/2018/07/03/fort-worth-rep-kay-granger-moscow-meeting-russian-officials-ahead-trump-putin-summit

The Buoys  Timothy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii1FGESbxO8