it bothered him years agoraised hackles 

it bothers him now

it was yet another critical item sluffed off to American corporations for-profit which destabilise the country  the governmentits politiciansever more selfserving ever more corrupt handing over their Constitutional authority and responsibility to safeguard the countrys communal health and welfare       

then

     as they were first becoming prevalent or vogue when people glommed onto a particular water  acquiesced to its absurd advertising sheep then worse the attendantalways attendant their ohso human unfortunately spiraling attitudes unstatedof course demonstrated in their carriage the queer glint in their eye I am better than you a rising haughtiness asinine  which for him was like negotiating an infected sliver before he could remove it irritating  galling

No Really  I am better than you

                                 their betterment bestowed by a plastic bottle of water

then

     came the markets that attended to the necessity of individualised containers becauseof course no two were alike ahHORSESHIT  

Yeh  particular water stored in particular bottles hydroflasks manyif not all  branded

water 

segregation   

            couldnt sip it from a public water fountain he still did  he still drank tap water once upon a time it was racial crap insisted by Whitey now its the inordinate concern not only what someone might HAVE who sipped from the fountain before you but also that public water is suspect

Can you say FLINT MICHIGAN

Can you say Governor Rick Synder SAY his handpicked Emergency Managers usurped seized legal authority from locally elected officials City Counsels  violated  and in some cases poisoned them

that America continues to seek to privatise itself for the extreme monetary benefit of the very few makes him sick

Free Market could take it up the ass its about timethe American People have been taking it for the better part of his adult life

Isnt it about time

                     

it seems however that anyone who has a genuine notion to ride roughshod on them somehow later has a price

1907,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  5. 18

1023,  Thursday,  10  5. 18

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/23/us/anger-in-michigan-over-appointing-emergency-managers.html

Tea for the Tillerman  Cat Stevens  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8raDiB1DPQ

Jill  the blonde healthclub bombshell 60sJoeyHeathertonesque Bardotlips matureMonroecool admitted blithely somewhat embarrassed to his query that she did not sip tequila for Cinco de Mayo or nosh Mexican fare

Wha

I’m terrible, aren’t I?

you never let a fish off the hook  You are

You’re not going to give me any slack, are you?

she must not ever have fished No I gotcha Id like to hear why not After all it is a quintessential California celebration if not wholly an American one

Yes. You have a point.

Point and shoot baby    And

And . . . If I drink tequila I go crazy, like some people on whisky, not violent, just a little out of my head.

Sounds terribly appealing to me  a lost opportunity   opportunities

You’re sweet.

Mebbe

she laughed soft music flowing from her throat

You celebrated

I did.

And    Quit make me pulling teeth  I can be adept at it

I did! I did.  I um sipped X-Rated.  You know X-Rated?

I know X-Rated  Its pink

It is.

I work at a liquorstore  We keep it behind glass

Yes, why do you do that? It’s, what, twentyfive twentysix dollars. It’s not expensive.

Thats not the point

It isn’t?

No  The point is that youll have to ask to have the case opened to get to it We like exposing X-Raters Hang you out to dry For what you are

No.  

You’re teasing me.

Im teasing youyou brought up x-rated How is it youre not the tease

What?

Yes

If I was going to tease you . .

. . This is better than I could ever have hoped for  Imagine  It all began to step up my workmans comp  Suddenly Im up to my eyeballs in x-rated  with a beautiful woman   I should be so lucky

she blushed
The colour looks good on you  rosehue against your blondeness   an I rarely notice blondes

Thank you.

Thank you  Evidently talk of x-rated is good for the circulationIm definitely circulating

Ohmygoodness.

No  My goodness

Though Id share

Im not greedy

her wide eyes and expression made up nicely for her silence

could be the beginning of a beautiful thing

1055,  Monday,  7  5. 18

1012,  Twosday,  8  5. 18

makingabreak   now you see me

                                               awh now you dont

it wasnt me

nope

       it wasnt me   sssh  I hired a doppelganger

0014,  Reggae Friday,  11  5. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NyC6mrutj0

he showered lathered slipped off his gym workout  TIME for work

TIME to put on his game face

he went out the front door confirmed the lamp beside it was lit its halo would light his way when he returned that night

he sat down inside his threehundredthousand mile 4Runnercaught his eyes in its rearview mirror  

scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz looked back at him Good

when he went out he played the part he played him to confirm Scarecrow was still alive and well in Oz his brain and reasoning always innate he just needed to be convinced and encouraged that his considerations mattered

regarding himself he had always known  Scarecrow won his rare compassion   

if that sounds nuts

that he shouldnt have been allowed to believe in the Scarecrow

he had his twocents for the matter
                                    if religious people could be believe in Heavenin Life After Death in the Hereafter then he could damn well believe that the Scarecrow was still singing and dancing thinking obtuse thoughts swinging his whiskdick in Ozthat Peter Pan was still darting madly about Neverland accompanied by Tinkthe Lost Boys No  not the vampires goading Jasper HookCaptain Hooks real name who doesnt want to be known by their real name who by remaining alive goads the crocodile(gator would have rhymed better)       

out as scarecrow he played his part  satirically 

within reach of three rural wine country towns satire played welltickled him pink

customers enjoyed his banter which wasnt as ambivalent as they may have thoughtif they thoughthe liked to think they thought So what’s with your t-shirt? he exaggeratedhe pulled his tshirt out of his pants acted as if he was trying to turn his head upside down to read the writingsee the artwork CURE IGNORANCE he read outloud  hands holding an opened book were beneath the words READ A BOOK he didnt say I donknow Whacha make of it 

nothing killed his interaction at the cash register with a customer quicker than asking them  So what are you reading these days

the Scarecrowhed bet  would talk his ear off
he could


amid the three communities consensus was there were better things to do with their time  Who has time for that?

mebbe the bettermore honest answer was  rather than answering a question with a question that drove him nutsthe not-saying Who wants to make time for that? but then these communities helped the eidget parlay his defamations into a presidency     

he thought Better a scarecrow than a straw man

1313,  Friday,  4  5. 18
1234,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  5. 18

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093437/videoplayer/vi2012217625?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Siegel-Schwall Band  Angel Food Cake  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIzDSA0B3C0&index=20&list=PLD4113D80C8F7DE8B

Tom Lehrer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs  We Will All Go Together When We Go (certain to piss off the Religious wholl bitch all the whole way) (THEN there were only 3 billion – nearing 7 ½ billion now: https://www.census.gov/popclock/world )

every once in a while  to remember when

                                                 in the shower he lathers his face with soap then opens his eyes wide letting the soap in to burn them

theyll never burn as they did when he was a boy

Keep your eyes shut his grandmother told him in her broken EnglishPolish lilt I should not have to tell youyou’re a big boy, you’re not dense, you know better. Keepkeep your eyes shut so the soap does not get in them. Your eyes burning is your fault. 

they burned

he sobbed

she didnt comfort him

she knew his tears would wash the soap out of his eyes  then the burning would stop

going to bed after bathing his father just returned home from workeating in the kitchen at the table with his mother at his elbow said Whats wrong with your eyes

Your boy can’t keep his eyes shut when I wash his hair and face.

Joe.

Yes Papa

Why don’t you keep your eyes closed?

Because

Because is not an answer, Joe.

You answer me because Papa

That’s different.

I do not see that it is different

Enough. Answer me. Why don’t you keep your eyes closed?

Because 

I know one day when I open them the burn will be a sting and it will not make me cry

the adults looked around at each other  their eyes then returning to him

You know his grandmother said it is okay to cry if something hurts.

Not everything that hurts is worth crying about

they looked back and forth again between themselves 

No his mother said not everything that hurts is worth crying about.

Thats what I think

Why do you think that? his father asked

I dont know  I just think that  

I think that when I hurt and dont crybecause it is not worth crying about  Ill be happier about myself

few things made him cry

if he cried he knew what made him cry was very worthwhile 

he cried unashamedly

                                    

no one could provoke him to shame

1301,  Friday,  4  5. 18

1350,  Twosday,  8  5. 18

American carny begins at the top

Huh 

Ohexcuseme my mistake

American carnage begins at the top

1609,  Twosday,  8  5. 18

douche

it wasnt what he grew up with  douche  douchebag dbag    his college roommate from Brooklyn introduced him to the term

they didnt use it liberally 

it took a real gem to provokepry it out of them

the president is a douche

1529,  Twosday,  8  5.18  

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/08/iran-deal-trump-withdraw-us-latest-news-nuclear-agreement

dusk fallen purpling sky    trees giving away to silhouettes of themselves

Thats it

        he was over it

when he was looking he really saw and nobody saw what he did like he did 

What are you talking about? Where?

Were past it  On the side of the road  Im not exiting the highway reversing field and coming back up it to show you so you can see  Youll have to take my word for it

Well, if what you say you saw you saw . . I don’t want to see it.

No you dont

his motheryears ago noticed during their Sunday afternoon ride to the country for picnics that he was uncommonly quietly to his father  ungainly observant  she remarked that the family would have missed nearly all the things he saw and pointed out for their attention  things attractive  not so attractive   she said You could be more discerning . . 

. . No  If I gotta see why shouldnt you

their ride on those occasions became more than they bargained for  Its an adventureright youre always saying were going out on an adventure  he hung her with her and his fathers words

his father was demur consolation  Mother, you can’t expect him not to see, that’s why he has eyes in his head.

she would give him cool looks 

the matter dropped

he was over it
               that was the final fawn that broke the dromedarysthe bactrians backhe lumped them together  fuck their humps

the fawns broken legs like mangled spiders legs pointed in all directions 

its neck snapped zigzag

its shattered skullsock of a face peering backwards over its crumpled spine

blood sapped of its colour by the failing lightsplashed like a ruptured water balloon near the asphalts edge advertising the carnage on its shoulder

somebody could start making films now  exhibit dead childrenchildrens deaths

he was sick about the horror of other species dead childrenwhy hold up a human child as something separatemore special deserving of reverence

animal children are slaughtered daily and languish for days in buzzed heaped on road sides and highways   

sometimes theyre never attended to reduced to bonestickled hides that even ravens and vultures disregard

nobody seems upset

hes mentioned it until hes blue in the face  he wasnt able to provoke concern It’s unfortunateyah, but what you going to do? It’s an unfortunate . .

. . Cost

I didn’t say that.

You cant say that Cost is something endured 

Do you even feel bad

Be honest

If I were honest . . sounds bad . . . no.

I honestly feel bad I feel badly each an every time I come across dead animals on the road  I pick them up and lay them in quieter places under trees in high grass lay them in someones flower bed try to create a makeshift reverence

That’s good of you.

Not good  a poor apology for a less than mediocre two-legged selfish species

he was upset

unnecessary death upset him

so yes if a film portrayed innocent children killed hed have no problem with it  it wasnt crossing any moral lines

all one has to do is look around them and see the truth

theres no reason humans are special

when were especially selfish

1122,  Sunday,  6  5. 18

1008,  Monday,  7  5. 18

last nights fistfight wasnt helping matters

                                            :  So what the hell we doing? I can't interrupt you, not texting.

:  Doing?  I’m checking up on you. I wish I was there to help last night.

:  You couldnt have helped a thing. Maybe the other guy, he took the brunt of it. He was still doubled up bleeding in the parking lot when I left.

:  You know I meant you, I worry about you. 

:  What’s to worry?

:  You know I worry.

:  Then please save your worry for people who want it, they’re amazing at sucking it out of you.

:  You’re being mean.

:  Elaborate. You’ve become notorious for simple, detailless communication. How am I being mean?

:  I haven’t time for this right now.

:  Yes. You rarely have time right now. Do you recognise you've placed us on a back burner?

:  No, I haven’t. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

:  You don't, huh? Alright. You get a pass on not saying how I’m mean. 

But you’re not stupid. You understand me perfectly about people around you sucking up your compassion. 

You can’t help yourself.

:  I really don't have time for this.

:  It's about US. 
You haven’t time for us?

:  Not if you’re going to be terse.

:  But it’s okay if you’re discontinued.

:  I texted to support you. I care about you. I love you.

:  You love me, but you haven’t time to talk.

You might understand we’re become nothing more than pen pals, text buddies, writing in textualised light.

The part I play is to be here for you when you need me. I can’t remember the last time I called you and you picked up. You’ll notice I never leave a voicemail. But you know I called. Your fone tells you.

:  You could leave a voice message.

:  I rarely call. I know you’ll see it’s me, you won’t pickup, I’ll understand. Truth be known, I’ve helped set you up to ignore me because I’ve encourage your selfishness.

:  Yes. You have encouraged me to be selfish.

:  I’ve encourage you to be selfish for yourself. Unfortunately you use that selfishness only with me, I’ll understand; you don't use it on the vampires that litter you’re life. Somehow they get a pass.

:  I don’t know what you expect me to say.

:  I’m not expecting anything. I’m not here to burden you.

I don’t want to be electrons in your life; don’t want a bit part in Tron.

Dig

1301,  Friday,  4  5. 18

1423,  Sunday,  6  5. 18

he could dial up try to respect most concepts  he provided what he deemed sufficient etiquettewhat it may deserve  he wasnt born in a barn as his mother was fond of saying though she said it more often to him than any of his seven siblings

she said she didnt relish telling him

he didnt relish hearing her  Save your breath Maw I aint changing one iota

his iotas were long fixed at a cellular level from birth his slatehis tabula rasa had been cryptically scribbled all over  a veritable palimpsest that he saw through his paleblue newborn eyes and while not in possession of or having knowledge of things called words  hed bet he was pretty sure he thought Fuck it  

he tried not to be rudenot blatantly rude  

however when he heard something absurd he couldnt nod respectfully to the absurdist hmm him or her NO he damn near tripped over his tongue spewing his rebuke

he refused to provide audience or credence to horseshit no matter where it was uttered or among whoever     

the one tenant he couldnt tolerate the bad breath ofthat riled and incensed him was that when we die our loved onesfamily and friends will be waiting just on the other sidein an unseen room next door

wasnt anyone of sound mind and bodywhether or not they declared a last will and testament whos died thats pulling off into a rest stop or waiting at a railroad siding marking time for twenty thirty forty years  for you   not for you to finally come down the road aimlessly kicking an empty tin canyour hands jammed in the front pockets of your pants

he wouldntwasnt

hed have a hard time respecting those if they did

one could argue time was relativemaybe thirty forty years to the dead is the blink of an eye  mebbe 

but mebbe thirty forty years is an eternity   

mebbe theyd have something better to do or somewhere to goTime be a wastin and aint no time worthwhile blowin

dead  or alive

1703,  Friday,  4  5. 18

1611,  Saturday,  5  5. 18

David Bowie  Lazarus  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-JqH1M4Ya8