well if that dont take the cake
it was a good locally-owned
breakfast joint anif the owner took umbrage over his restaurant being called a
joint theyd have something to talk about in his lingo the only places worth going to were joints he wouldnt be caught dead in an upscale
dinner clubhe wouldnt be caught dead in a place where Jackets (are) Required
Debbi’s Dinner
Sun City Arizona
the food stuck to your ribs
he liked his omelets wet Got me The wetter the better please
over the top of a small spiral
notepad she scribbled in in blue ballpoint Francine her name stitched above her
breast their waitress hamstrung in a pink uniform girdled in
a white apron winked her paleblue madeup eye
I got you, hon. I like wet too.
his parents winced
Francine repeated everyones
order Perfect. I’ll put this in with the kitchen and return
with you coffee and water.
they chorused a thank you
his father glancing over his shoulder making
sure Francine was out of earshot sitting opposite him reached across
the table and laid his hand atop his Son
he never called him by
his name he was always son to his father son to his mother Name of the Father Name of the Son the Holy Ghost AhMEN! his mother had to play the Holy Ghost the
Bible was for misogynists at best women
were spooks Son,
why must you be so . . so. . .
Suggestive
Ahyes. Suggestive. Yes.
What am I suggesting
Mother. You agree . .
Excuse me for interrupting Dad I have
to say something Have you noticed that when addressing Mom your you
agree an thats among a hosta slew of other incidentals Ive overheard coming out
of your mouth that theres no lilt in your voiceno indication youre asking her a
question Your voice doesnt implynot to anyone
listening that youre asking
You agree
You declare
It seems rather youre making a
statement
turning
to his mother And youto be fair since I
dont live in your home publically you
defer to anything Dad says or has assessed
Id ask why of either of you but
we can save that for elsewhere Point of
conjecture
Suggestion What is it Im suggesting
perfectly timed Francine returned to the table with their
coffee and water his mothers tea also
with a carafe of hot black coffee
looking at his father as she
placed a small bowl of creamers above his coffee mug white ironstone you could pound nails in with the bottom of
it she said Youll let me know if you need more cream,
honey. You’re boy likes his black.
Francine cast her eyes to
him I like mine black too.
then addressing his mother If you need more honey for your tea, be sure
to let me know.
standing uprightreadying to
turn Your orders ought be ready inside
of ten minutes. Is there anything else you might need?
he replied Need
Or want Ive always been troubled
by that choice
Well, whichever you decide that I
can make happen, you be sure to let me know, hon.
Francine winked again
she made the best lascivious
winks a guy could hope for
his
Dad sighed There you go again.
sheepishly Suppose I do
I suppose you can’t help
yourself?
his mother interjected He can’t help himself. He’s always been a flirt, always been confident. He’s charming.
his mother interjected He can’t help himself. He’s always been a flirt, always been confident. He’s charming.
He’s irritating.
He irritates you because he’s
better at it than you are. You’re charming. He’s more charming. But he’s not
competing with you. You compete with him.
He’s quicker on the draw.
That’s ridiculous.
No. Not ridiculous. It’s what I
see. If you took a step back, not that I expect you would, or will, but if you
did you’d see it too.
they sat quietly
he interrupted the silence I think Ill use the restroom before breakfast
comes Howbout that asshole Bolton taking office today as security maligner and
malingererI wouldnt trust him with a damn thingnothing a warmonger
Why is it warmongers never faced action
Stateside National Guard Confessed he had no desire to die in a rice
paddy in Vietnam Too bad Had he a lot of lives
would have been saved since
Just food for thoughtback in a
flash
when he returned Francine was
serving
he remained off to a side so not
to hurry her or get in her way
when she stood upright he excused
himselfslipped by Wet enough she asked
as he sat he saw the omelet wept Youre a godsend Francine
she laughed I threatened the kitchen that I wasn’t
doubling back to themthat you were emphatic when you said wet.
I am emphatic when I regard wet I would have sent it back
I know you would have. to his parents Everything is good you for?
his parents were already at their
food
they nodded their heads chewing smiled
pleasantly
Francine left
When we finish I have something
to share with you he said
they nodded their heads chewing smiled
pleasantly
breakfast was sensational
What a great joint he said I trust your food was as good as mine was
theyd eaten with scarcely a word
between them
hungry
fallen into the heaven
So what I wanted to share while you can stroll in Dad Id be happy to escort you into the Mens room Mom Its worth the while
as his Dad rolled his eyes his
mother braked their rolling Maybe. However I’m not in the habit of going into a
Men’s room.
he said Ill go into whatever
bathrooms available Some guys are
troubled by a door with a womens placard affixed to it Letem piss in their pants
Son.
Easy Maw A urinal does not make a bathroom be
his dad said nothing he was one of those guys who pissed
themselves and he knew his son knew
he was happy his dad kept his mouth
shut
hed hang him out to dry in a
heartbeat
So . .
I imaginewhich really made me laugh
the most an inhibited soul might be put
offhave trouble peeing in the Mens room Its
hilarious The wall behind the urinal is painted
not well
well enough crude childish
but what the hell its a Mens room
Theres a tree and leaves and on the trunkclinging to it a redheaded woodpecker Classic
An the woodpeckers eyeballing your pecker
I laughed so hard I really had to
be careful I didnt wet the floor either taking a leak or washing my hands
he laughedremembering Christ Im easily tickled That was is sensational I wish I had a camera Since youre buying breakfast Dad his Dads eyes bugged they hadnt talked who
was picking it up he figured he stick it to him since he was being a stick in
the mud no point stuck in the mud
without mud for evidence Thanks Dad
his Mom cinched it Thanks, Bob. That was a delicious meal. I appreciate it.
his Mom cinched it Thanks, Bob. That was a delicious meal. I appreciate it.
I do too Dad
1203, Monday,
9 4. 18
1623, Monday, Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer for
DAMN, 16
4. 18
