it gave him the creeps 

                   in fuckinI mean fuckin broad daylight  a humpedback potbellied man swaddled in a tight darkblue knit(anything would have been tight!) over soiled khaki shorts the shorts forced unenviably down their thighs beneath his knees forced by his voluminous gut

and if he alone  struggling  trudging across the open black-topped aisles in either direction paralleling the unsophisticated storefronts wasnt disconcerting enough  scarcely behind his lewd troubled shadow followed another man a small man clad in bluejean overalls weaving side to side sucking a can of soda through a straw wearing a pit-stained white tshirt dribbles at its front and topped off with a filthy white baseball cap worn bill lopsided

and to frame this hideous procession  appropriately hewing it  a pigs-to-slop backdrop the phony orangebricked veneer of a Walmart spanning it

it was slobbery enoughcheap white paper napkin enough to have someone wanna McDonalds fix a Burger King a Dennys a Pizza Hut a Chick-Fil-A fix etcetera etcetera etcetera 

please  couldnt a white person just please cast a surly white shadow  a walking faded wannabe halo

the two one after the other disappeared into the Grub Shak  Daves Grub Shakhe had no idea what it served  though in a quick pass through the plateglass windows just to be sure he hadnt hallucinated hadnt misconstrued the unsavory pair through the heat radiating off the blacktop he saw Danimal with Hillbilly Sauce Frog Legs and Fries under Seafood Fried okra Hillbilly Bleu Balls 

there was plenty more  but that was plenty enough

he should have kept his eyes in his bookhe shouldve resisted the Disturbance in the Force that drove up his chest into his jaw  he had neck strength enough to roll with the punch loll his head aside slip its physics diminish its intent but curiosity got the best of himcuriosity got him only about five ten percent of the timegot him if it smelled like something burning and maybejust mebbe he could make a difference  he wasnt convinced he could   he was tantalised

there were worse things than being tantalised

he couldnt feel a fool if he was tantalised

1447,  Thursday,  15  6. 17

1912,  Monday,  19  6. 17

1309 days or fewer when the walls come tumbling down  Drumpfty Dumpty sat on a Wall . . . had a great Fall             

Bill Callahan  America!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItGY5GB1YAQ

Bill Callahan -- Smog  Cold Discovery  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7qqY7gmq-4 or 13:50-ish of Radio Sessions  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JLKYnQHfDU

 

he dug the innate chemical confidence of Diamond matches  the titillating physics of the slight drag to start the matchthe EXPLOSION!the brisk consuming yelloworange flame  the quiet white kindling of the matchstick  then the very proud remains a remembrance of Brushed Lit Extinguished halfcharred halfbegging to be finally consumed

                                        his quiet contemplation was interrupted by a callous persistent jay

for some reason or another since Spring this wily bird had staked its claim decried its terroritory of his back porch

he had come outside to relish the sunset  its colour softer than the Diamond flame holding the whole of heaven on its stick 

the jay roved from tree to tree up the drive down onto a six foot fence between him and his neighbor up to his rooftop then fluttered to the electrical line overhead crying coarsely SEE  SEE  SEE  as if it saw more than he ever would  closer to the skythe firmament

he had no doubt the jay SAW  SAW  SAW more  saw furthur   saw deeper     it could see around corners see beyond the curvature of the darkening horizon more breathless more vital more in tune  even the blueswirl of smoke passing his lips seemed more vivacious than himself  the clod of flesh he inhabited

bigfoot and wee crept up to his feet to console him

he squatted down under the jays barrage and petted them  There there you two  Lets allow bigmouth his bliss hes just going on and on eventually hell see hes full of himself and quiet down  Hes enthralled hes beside himself hes just gotta tell somebody and were mighty convenient

a hummingbird approached silently  suspicious  flitting back and forth it took sips from the feeder across from them through the pickets

SEE  SEE  SEE

             he didnt need to be reminded

he tried hard to see as much as he could

2016,  Saturday,  17  6. 17

1050,  Monday,  19  6. 17

she was adamant                                    

it was intuition                                   

My eye he said you got a bitchs instinctNever sell yourself short 

No one can get over on you unless you let em  

Youd be well-served to remember that

Im not you

No 

     And Im not a bitcha muthafucker a prickyes  Ill leave instinct an intuition to you  Im one up on animals only because I can think  I got a real big brain

in cat years his outdoor ferals were still younger than him  so likely they mirrored his beast – who knows – who the fuck cares – not his bestial self – not his bestial cohortshis furred partners in crime

the County was doing its damnedest to eliminate feral catsexistentially  it sought to neuter and spay the sexes so the only cats that would breed in the County were inside licensed catteries

the harping jays would like that   cats  their noses pressed to glass or screens looking out  the jays hawing at the inevitable inbreeding hawing the genetic retards the historic idealism that was laid bare during the last century in California in Europe though not that the County recalled or cared to be reminded

though he thought who the fuck wanted an animal genetically-twisted demented  a GMO afoot   or perhaps they were forward looking  GMOed human beens

night was falling

the fast swallows were out  the agile bats strafing and curling mid-air at flying insects  their one-sided dogfights and feasts              

      insects
 

               incest

incest – why bargain with the devil       

let him come 
                                      

           let him try and bargain with barbarian instincts intuitions and gall 

it would be a knock down drag out bloodfest  all the more reason to be fit for a fight they havent had but believed would come 

itd have to come head on  face to face  eye to unflinching eye

they werent turning their backs

they werent conceding the high ground

hed have to take it

if he could

2013,  Thursday,  15  6. 17

Palodine  All the Pretty Wolves  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkU-ZkilOuc