6.4.17




he looked at him

he gazed back  his walleyed look wasno matter how long he knew him  was more disconcerting than usual 

it seemed more walleyedif possible  he sat theredidnt say a thing back to him    took long drags off his cigarette
if he didnt know him better hed say he was actually contemplating what he said to him


walleyed snuffed his butt in a cheap colouredtin bar ashtray  it wiggled side to side
I dont think you wanna go there


No  I think I wanna go there   Precisely


Precisely

Yes
BINGO!no ifs ans or buts  Bingo!    Thats where you wanna come down

You have a counterargumenta counterfactual


No   I dont     But I dont tend to think that deepas deep as you at least    Its provocative


Seems damn-near seminal

Seminal  That whites would make lousy slavesThats seminal . .
. . You have evidence otherwiseRecent evidenceHistorical evidenceI cant think of a time when slaves werent red or brown or black or yellow  Were othersalways other than white

I cant  But that doesnt mean that enslaved whites could do the workwould crumble an die

Die

Okay  Granted  Would be killed

Yah  I dont think many slaves died other than worked to death

OhJews

Wow

They were enslaved

Yes  Though my premise doesnt include that briefthat insane horrible holocaust  You know Im talking over  Time

I do

Thank you


So you think the opiate epidemic were in the midst of relates to whites unable to bear up unable to face down hopelessness the hopelessness of slaves  that they havent the  the . . .
. . . Grit Fiber   Endurance 
                    Faith  Its easy to have faith when your faith isnt direly challenged 


I dont know

Its terrible . . .
. . . It is terribleWhat makes you think up this shit

OhIdontknow  Maybe the consistent manner over the course of this nations history that whites have treated people who werent white  And now that the table is flippedby other whitenot that coloured people are getting a better deal   theyre hopeless


It is terrible

It is

But its also a terrible premise that whites would make lousy slaves

Is it



I dont wanna think about itI dont wanna think about it at all  But I think for this shit you owe me a drink

his walleyed slouch lessened  he was digging into the thought of another shot an a beer


Yah   Barmaid  he held up his hand to the woman across the room as she happened to be looking in their direction

she nodded acknowledging him

he smiled and nodded back

she was bussing the bar by herselftaking orders an serving too

her hair was mussed(almost bedroom mussed)

she had a huge round tray an it was fullup with chattering glasses as they bent her arm  she had to set it down on a table to regrasp with both hands to lift it to make it behind the bar


Im amending my premise

Huh

Amending my premise

How are you amending it

Only white men would make lousy slaves  Too weak




1100,  Twosday,  4  4. 17
1385 days remaining or less Russian By

5.4.17



“There’s stories going around that (he) and my good self are wan and the same pairson.”
(Ah  
     taking a springboard into the good clean air tuck an twisting an then like an arrow splitting the chill blue surface an sheaf of poolwater)



Focus! he glared in his face
he didnt blink
I said focus.
  
            . .fucos . . . fucos
he saw a wan look in the boys eyes
 
I said fucos

Ha   fucos  Im tryingI swear Im trying but it aint no good       I swear Im trying    I think Im possessed  fucos

Possessed aryah

Ayare(wan and the same pairson)


fucos
       fucos
hedbe damned if he if he could get himself off point an iridescent bluefly stuck to an ugly brown adhesive spooling down from the ceiling turning slowly on the hot breath entering through the screenwindow unable to fidget with his hands an feetrub them together as if trying to spark fire with a flint an steel
                                                        pitiful   fucos
unsatisfied

niggledannagged

           fucos was failing


his suggestiondemand was well intended

though well intended could saddle up besiderub shoulders with No good deed goes unpunished(reminded him of punishments spankings he suffered unjustly – then when the culprits jaw worked loose struck again and again with a belt  when they were discovered there was no apology  Atll be catch up for the punishments that went unpunished or will  We aint perfect yaknow)

despite the wisdom in those words(not their wisdom) he often had to wait for the welts to subside before he could sit comfortably

he was the eldest an had endured more than the younger ones  his ass long inured to spankings  

he wasnt a good actor so their choice target was the back of his thighsTHATLL WAKE YOU UP! BRING YA AROUND


No  hecouldnt focus for his life today he was fucosed



2004,  Monday,  3  4. 17
1025,  Twosday,  4  4. 17
quote  Flann O’Brien  At Swim-Two-Birds