hed been dead for ten years
and if not for his
intestinal fortitude a stubborn streak a mile wide his rotting might have been fullfilled
the incorruption his enthusiastic undertaker
touted(lied) was bought hook line and sinker by his grieving
family
he wasnt there to counsel them
the undertaker without
flinching pitched These new techniques frankly will keep your father as fresh as a daisy
A hermetically-sealed coffin (What were
they thinking hermetically hermit had they ever known him to be a hermit he
loved poking his finger in Lifes eye how could they buy into a secret seal purportedly
devised by the mythic Hermes Trismegistus Gizmo Christ They must really have been hurting) (Excuse
the interruption) . . . a hermetically-sealed coffin carefully fitted inside a
burial vault will keep it and your father from degradation
Many of our modern vaults have capsules which can
store personal messages to your loved one They also have an identification
scroll in their carapace
Personally if I may I recently sniff
buried my fathersniffsniff and what we attempt is nothing
less than to commemorate the whole of their lives sniff And this commemoration as our fathers lives
were happen only onceOnce as there will never be another one like them
Hence please understand I am not hyperbolic when I
use the word commemoration
They have happened only once in Time
he would have thought for sure when
the undertaker was unable to wipe that smug smile off his face that his family
would recognise there is no such thing as the perfection he preached and
promised
when one thing is wrong
it wouldnt be the only thing wrong
but he supposed he commiserated his
family never did take him at his word or to heart when he said that nothing was
perfect
the irritation it had been to him
while he was alive Perfect Perfect the word purring in ones mouth there was no such thing as perfect despite
its endless lip service
nothing was perfect
or at least nothing touched by
human hands
he was going to have to be Houdini
Unchained and on roids to get the hell out of this
then not to his surprise or
consternation the long war began as soon as he was lowered into his plot NO
nestled in his concrete prophylactic that chaffed Mother Earths womb raw
he began to slowly spoil
aboveground his family couldnt possibly
know
behind closed doors the polished successful
undertaker quietly snickered as he counted their money on top of his very
sober and serene desk
later
and maybe he wouldnt have been exhumed by his
family if they hadnt inadvertently heard that the undertaker was being prosecuted
for several fraudulent cremations
(Nothings
perfect)
people really dont know what
human ashes look like much less how much ash a human body makes
and if it wasnt for a familys three-legged
dog who evidently upset a three-legged wall table toppling and shattering a
ceramic urn and the pair of fresh flower vases to either side of it and the ashes
mixed with the water and the slurry in the familys three-day weekend absence hadnt
hardened into a concrete platter
the pups pawprint contained within sealed the deal
he might never have been exhumed
then on a sullen November morning
he felt the scratching of a backhoe above himEureka
he wanted to cross his fingers
but didnt fearing they might come undone from his fist(he needed them for a more
important matter than hope)
he felt clots of earth above him cleaved
and tumble he felt the freeing nature of fresh air curling and circulating on his
revealed vault lid
had he breath in his lungs he
would have gasped as his coffin was lifted suspended and danced on a steel cable
strung from the backhoes bucket he would have gasped as his coffin alighted
onto the bright green sod behind his four-foot granite gravemarker he would
have giggled as the top of his coffin was solemnly fiddled with then creaking as it was unfolded
if he had the breath in his lungs
he would have shouted Get out of my way as he lurched up at his hips
still intact and stood on questionable legs horrifying officials and his family
gathered
Get the fuck out of my way he would
have cried I gotta go
I have a vote to cast
1118, Sunday,
23 10. 16
1111, Monday, 24 10. 16
