scores of white and silver cars lined
up in traffic
the light changes and they
proceed making lefts an rights rolling straight ahead
I couldnt see inside them for the
white sunlight flashing off their windshields and side windows
I wouldnt have been surprised I
wouldnt have been distraught if their drivers their passengers were ghosts pale
apparitions a volley of souls accompanying my dead cousin to wherever if anywhere
that follows life after passing through the portal of death
truth be known
I had a couple of healthy
whiskys and it occurred to me to have the next with a smoke to contemplate his death
my mortality in the threads of its unwinding blue smoke
I walked through the neighborhood
down to the main thoroughfare that cuts this tramp town in half
its where anyone who starts a
business and hopes it to prosper plants it on this singular broad artery
running north and south
as I walk when I looked up out of
the book Im reading the sun glints off passing carglass into my eyes
it lights the inside of my head
illuminating and parsing youthful moments he and I shared either his parents
farm in Indiana or our grandmothers wooden two-flat in Chicago which Id been trying
to distract myself from seeing
across the street a young woman
in a yellow top bends at the curb gently extracting a seedling from a storm drain
that fed into the street gutter
her breasts sway hypnotically under
her blouse as she works her trowel
a tall white plastic pail at her
hip is filled three-quarters full by the shadow of the earth inside it
more cars pass white cars
silver
I closed the book and hold it
tight in my fist
ahead of me ran a straight shot
of concrete stickled at the curb occasionally with street signs mounted on bright
green u-channel posts
the intersection Im walking up on
is easily three hundred three twentyfive meters off
I could walk it to blindfolded
I closed my eyes
its oilyblack inside my head
I can hear the whine of traffichear
music emanating from radios voices singing along with songs a HOOT!
someone probably recognising Im walking with my eyes shut and trying to
frighten me
Im not easily frightened the cool void pleases me
Ive battled Death already
fought its dazzlingwhite presence as It bleached
and attached itself in my eyes
shaped Itself
distinctly looking like the African continent
inverted sidled by the sliver of Madagascar formed out of the ether and began throbbing haunting
me the day my cousin died
and for days afterward
it was Death unmistakably
my health suffered it declined
but it wasnt until I admitted Its
presence that I was able to rally to fight It
It stubbornly subsided
It thought I might be easy
picking because I wasnt well
I watched It vanish
I watched It slip from my eyes as
I watched my reflection in the round beveled mirror hanging over the bathroom
vanity
the lavenderscented candle
burning lashed It with its quivering flame over and over again while It jerked
and twisted under its blows growing
smaller and smaller fainter and fainter
I enjoyed It
then It was gone
I poured another whisky lit a
cigar and smiled at his face in the smoke withers where I summonsed him
1315, Saturday,
8 10. 16
1250, Sunday, 9 10.
16
