he exhaled h
e a
l inhaled
exhaled
h e e a l
he imagined
and maintained a sharp image and colourations to accentuate the Epsom salt
and
lavender oil bath he laid in
suddenly it lurchedShuddered
the frame of reference he
meditated on was hardedged he fixed it he asserted it in his closed eyes
it quieted
againShuddering and shaking
banged on
shoved
not taking the hint it was
assaulted broadside its right edge was illuminated singed
then burning
shrieking it curled and peeled
away it seemed to rise on hot breaths braided by a torchs tongue
peeling his image rolled and escaped
and what became and overran his eyes was a dull black slip radiating
like newlylaid asphalt
its dullness waxed
then
sharpened
its face oily
exhale h e
a l inhale
exhaled
h e e a l
he refused to be taken off stride
by this unconscious pyrotechnics
the oiliness blinked then it reflected a pale bonecoloured oval
that seemed to descend
its edges tinged brightred
pulsating
its reflection honed
then it ceased being
a reflection
it
lay smallish on the intruding slip
he shook his head
he was aware that this wasnt his
doing it wasnt a part of his meditation it was an intrusion
he tried to open his eyes
they wouldnt open
the crude
lopsided oval sensing his returning consciousness began to susurrate and grow growing to
fill his eyes take over what had been his hardedged frame
he reeled he was agitated
then frightened
frightened because he could feel his face pulling at
itself willing itself the muscles underlying pulling
trying to force his eyelids apart force
consciousness outside himself in the appleseed bounced agitated in her web in the
corner above the vanity the birds outside crying their voices entering through
the screened window bees madly buzzing incited by the warm rosemary blossoms hummingbirds
violently rushing the window heeling and hovering chirping sharply
the oval metastasised groped becoming larger and larger
and still he had trouble willing
his eyes open
then a flutter
then broke open
even
opened the residue of the enlarged oval remained in his eyes as if burned into
his retinas
he violently shook his head rapidly
blinked his eyes
the oval its center boneyellow now gone-brilliant-white
elastic stretching
he gasped then growled in his
throat like an wild animal
he recognised its malevolence
opposed to the sense of passing
out
his vision and consciousness uplit
whitened growing conical and smaller and smaller and
smaller towards a corrupt pinpoint
where
when he arrived hed blackout
but this was flopped
the oval wanted to possess him wanted
to take him like death
and death had crept into his
meditation quietly grating subsumed
scarcely veiled
the lavender oil barely
suppressing its odour
he should have been more keen
and when panick sought to impress
itself
he wrangled it
his stumbling consciousness
gathered itself on all fours then stood
eyes open he watched himself vie
with the oval watched their back and
forth
a fierce battle pitched combatted hand - to – hand
his consciousness had deeper reserves
the oval overcome began to shrink
its colouring boneyellow
he exhaled h e a l
inhaled
exhaled h e e
a l
the oval dissipated leaving a hue
a remnant black shadow then the remnant
evapourated
he laboured up and out of the tub
he sat naked on its edge dripping water on the tile
running his hands across his
chest to his shoulders he didnt feel himself and looking he saw he was
insubstantial
he could see the edge of the tub through himself see the pale
blue water still rocking from when he got out
his flesh then began to
quicken he became opaque
putting his hands to his body
again he felt his firmament his fiber
he sat for a long time wondering
if death had tried to inhabit and steal him
he sat very still
there was no one he could aske
1630 – 1730, Twosday,
20 9. 16
1141, Day-between-Two-Ts, 21 9.
16
