14.7.16



a little chant went off inside his head when he was forced to dig in by his unorthodox pain

he liked to think it was involuntary  that he didnt summons it  but hed be lying


Hh e a ll


a single word up from a subterranean vault  percolating  scratching the fissure walls as it clumsily came whenever he tried mounting stairs on his bum legs or going up hills

pain flooding him  coarse  oily-tinged  like sewage backup


he didnt have any choice in the matter

he could desist 

become a lousy shut-inbut why would he do that

if he made people uncomfortable while he stalked about like a Frankenstein monster or had to pick things up two-handed because independently they were shabby  knuckles look like theyd been broken by a wiseguy because he failed to make good on dark loans 

their discomfort witnessing him didnt rise to the level of his pain so for all he cared they could avert their eyes ignore him he wasnt going to stop going out among them




he remembered when and where his knee was first attacked setting its course to this moment

courtesy of a Mexican winger

he was playing soccer on invite in Chicagos City League against its ethnic teams

the Inner-City thought it would be interesting(with a wry smile) to allow his suburban All-White team to play against their Clubs

their All-White team gratefully thanked them(smiling back  a wicked Cheshire grin)

they rolled through the City Clubs twice and earned a berth in the North Shore Division Championship play-offs

first year they took Second losing 2-1  then bitched all teams their second year and won the Championship 5-1


that first year his Mexican winger cheapshot him  

sprawled off to the side of the field on his end clumps of grass still tight in his fists he grimaced to a sub Get Joses name woudja

circling back the sub said Got it

Whaas his name

Jose

Christ


he healed quickly

thats what youth gives you that you take for granted


he healed in time to face the Mexicans again

hed be lying if he said he wasnt using the game as incentive

he hustled Jose

he played the gimp

he loved watching that yellow grin spread out under Joses shaggy moustache as he underplayed him and took feigns that he knew were feigns

his teammates backed his play

down 2-0 Jose surreptitiously(though scarcely) petitioning his teammates all game finally convinced them he could beat him up the sideline on a long pass

Jose was a decent winger


he saw it develop

they played it nicely

their right fullback was accurate  had a powerful leg

they crossed to him in the defensive end  

BAM!
off to the races

he dropped his hustle

Jose was surprised

but not as surprised as when he deliberately chucked him with a shoulder after Jose whipped the side of his face trying to catch an eye with an errant finger then leveled him with a blatant elbow to the bridge of his nose exploding blood snorts out of both nostrils

its hard to breath

its harder to see when both eyes are shot-through with tears

its hardest to run when laying flat on your back kicking up sideline chalk in distress


he was ejected from the game


to add injury to insult off the direct kick his team reversed field with a tremendous header by a fullback to an inside who moving left drew the defense to its right

the inside crossed a long ball right to a streaking winger who had one D to beat for a one-on-one with the goalie

beat the D and the goalie

they were up 3-0 with less than twenty minutes(if anyone paid attention)

they left the Mexicans their field their excellent-smelling after-game barbecue and laboring under a 4-0 loss


he didnt know the extent of Joses injury any more than Jose knew of his three games earlier

feigned sportsmanship is ugly  repugnant

better to be honest and recognise paybacks are hell




he hadnt learned to chant Hh e a ll then

his body was on Automatic Pilot 

and for that he was particularly reckless

he carelessly threw his body around

and fearlessly 

his reputation preceded him

and when a reputation incites intimidation

striking fast codifies it

opposing offenses conceded the whole right-third of their field and virtually allowed him to become a ghost to appear and disappear wherever he wanted


he wasnt a ghost now

a lumbering blotch that made sidewalks parking lots and slowly-crossed streets unsightly

and since no one cared to pause they couldnt hear in his labored breathing the soft lavender-coloured word  Hh e a ll


Hh e a ll



Hh e a ll
  



1414,  Saturday,  9  7. 16 
 0925,  Monday,  11 7. 16 

13.7.16



distress




                                                                 there was no other word for it 
other words left him the emptiness
the chic uniformed spaces between the construction between the barebones and superstructure of her web
often knitted or fused  glommed-on by the still wrapped brittle exoskeletons of her victims


she served him distress icecold
                          his suicidal daddylonglegs who twice he saved


she turned into a cannibal



crumpled remains hung singularly here and there  grisly trophies


he witnessed her beat out a violent throb on her web
sending forth vibrations which attracted the smaller males who scampered up the wall to tentatively answer her peals

a kind of courtship ensued  a dance
                              but when she circled behind him
she sensually brushed his hind legs with her foremost
stroking him slavishly
exciting him
paralyzing him
             in an amused and musing erotic anxiousness
his male hormones salted away packed tight
his afflicted senses dulled
                    ABRUPTLYshe launched herself onto his back one foot stomping his cephalothorax just behind his eyes blinding him
then bites him through his thin shell puncturing his brain short-circuiting him

his legs spasm

his pairs uncoordinated dancers  palsied


an umbrella turned on its head
its spokes normally unified
collapsing
separately twisting impeded shaking

the umbrella shudders

then leaping aside she flinches  her eight eyes trying to avoid being poked or jabbed by his flailing joints

she tosses in a couple of loose lassoes of silk and cinches them restraining him though not necessarily to bind him
his spasms are too violent    


primordial Life fights hardest

it has no sense of hopelessness or death

it fires on whatever cylinders remain

it pumps hydraulics into severed hoses
                                Uuntil the whole heap collapses
and the last drool and jewel of Life is spent




and now
he hangs still

she returns to satiate herself


hes responsible for that  for everything she does now
because he saved her once
                       then again




he wondered if cannibals were ever suicidal




1022,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  7. 16
1528,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  7. 16