he almost bowled her over coming
out his front door scared the shit out of them both in a stark sudden stunning
eye-to-eye face-to-face her hand raised to knock his head nonchalant lowered
mechanically yanking the door open
to exit the apartment
a body in his way he stabbed his foot to the linoleum threshold halting his bolt and compelling inertia
to exit the apartment
a body in his way he stabbed his foot to the linoleum threshold halting his bolt and compelling inertia
she nearly screamed in surprise though caught it in her throat an feral intimation a wicked purr
JESUSCHRISTexcuse me No ones ever
at my door
No Not that Ive ever seen
Excuse me Youve ever seen
Yes
Queer response Awkward
Ahyes Awkward
That youve ever seen
Figured if I had a guardian angel itd be beefcake not beauty
Oh no I mean I I I dont know what I mean
Alright
he stepped back away from her suffice not to intrude on her space affording himself room to size her up
Can I help you
she was young attractive ought to be wearing a bra under her embroidered muslin blouse its coloured stitching nearly aligned to secret her bits faded blue jeans holey from wear flat leather sandals bright face bright green eyes freckles sunstreaked auburn hair pulled up in an unconstructed ponytail
Help
No
I dont think help captures it
Captures what
Im here on your invitation As you said
I said
Listen baby I say a lot of things though I cant say I remember saying anything to you
Yes You said I remember you said I should come by and see you when I was legal You said be sure I had two pictured IDs Two forms of identity You said I remember
Huh I may hate to say this but that does sound like me
It does
Dont rub it inBut whats that have to do with anything
You invited me then Im here now
I I Would you like to come in
Is now bad timing You were going out
Nothing that cant keep or urgent Im curious where thisll lead
Me too
Ive thought about it often
Well the thinkings over
It is Its nice to hear your voice again Its exactly as I remember . . .
. . . Long memory Youre remembering more than me
I was always listening though Your voice is exactly the same I listened when you talked out by the pool hung on your every word
Then youd do laps Up and back up and back Once I tried to count how many you did but I lost count
I often did Caught up in my flying reverie Here the pool at the complex Here
Yes here I usually sunbathed while you swam It didnt seem to bother you that I was at the adult pool
I remember You rarely got in Got in to cool down I remember Your suit definitely wasnt a swimsuit
No it wasnt
No It was not A string bikini top and a thong
AwHow sweet for you to remember So you do remember me
Hard to miss you You were precocious
I wasnt precocious
Physically precocious
Wellyes Physically But then you only saw me at the pool I was only like that at the pool when you were there
Our apartment overlooked the pool Though to overlook the pool wasnt really necessary
You were like clockwork on
weekends
I missed you when you stopped coming
When the pool wasnt for adults any longer
Thats when you stopped
Yes Cant swim at a swimming pool when kids are throwing themselves in playing Would you like a seat
Something to drink juice water
Water please
Ill join you
Im not keeping you
No youre intriguing me I said it would keep Trust me if it didnt we wouldnt be talking
I trust you
I like that Would you like ice
No thank you
Good A girl after my own heart
he brought tapwater in Mason jars
As I was saying I couldnt swim laps Thats why I went to the pool To swim
No
No You wouldntve been able to swim It became a zoo Couldnt complain about the noise during the
daytime
Kids playing screaming shouting
Kids playing screaming shouting
You didnt play and shout
I stopped going when you stopped showing
Still I dont remember saying that to you
You did One evening You were sitting pool side with a friend Having a beer I played a trick on your friend
It wouldnt have been funny if I
tried to play it on you You didnt fit the part and that made it funnier that it was
He was doglike wolfish eying me when I came down to the pool
He made me selfconscious
You never in all the time you swam made me feel selfconscious
It seemed you this will sound weird you appraised me You found me attractive You acknowledged me
You were respectful
In a word meat You didnt make me feel like meat
Which it it made the joke on your friend funnier because of my meatishness
Frank arent you
I am
Do you remember the joke the joke I played on your friend
Yes As a matter of fact I do
Thats when you told me to come see you when I was legal Two forms of pictured IDs
Three years ago at least With all the things going on in your teen life with teen friends I was a teen Those were nuts-years Making everything up as you go along I dont think your teen years would be incredible different from mine
Except
Except
Yeah Except Except a much earlier intrusion of a harder reality fashioned by the difference between our relative technologies
True that
ChristTrue that Shortcut lingo Man
So how did you remember and I didnt I got good memory
I remember from my diary
Diary
Yes
she opened her fringed bag purse and pulled out a Moleskine
I wrote it in my diary
Very cool you kept a diary
I keep a diary Nins a hero
You know Nin
I do
I got books by her in my bookcase
I noticed while you were getting us water Lotsa books Lotsa art Looks like a museum
I like your bones Lotsa bones
Thanks Your diary
Yes You know what I titled my joke on your friend
You title your entries
No But it deserved a title dont you think
Oh I think I remain intrigued curious Talk The floors yours
she tapped the throwrug with the soles of her sandals slipped them off then rubbed her feet back and forth on it
Huhmm The floors mine
Run with it
Well get to your IDs in a moment
she laughed and her laughter peeled off into her pronouncement of her diarys entry title
I called it
Jailbait and Switch
Jesus Thats sensational
Right
I thought I was a genius I titled it even before I wrote the entry
Does it really go Dear Diary
No
My diary has a name that Ill not share
Ill admit I surprised myself when I put her in my purse this morning and I brought her with out into the light of day out of her space from between her other selves her sorority Ill never be in one A sorority of one a dear imagined confidante Ill never have a flesh and blood friend as close as she is to me
Jailbait and Switch
I wont read it exactly as I wrote it Ill relate retell the evening
Why jailbait and switch
If youll remember despite it almost sunset I came down in my suit A wrap over it
It didnt wrap much
No
I suffered his eyeballs because I wanted to please yours
You knew it was a show didnt you
No Recall I called you precocious This lent itself to my perception of your precociousness
Gosh If I was as precocious as you thought me then
I only had snippets and snippets like generalising are weak mistaken However I had only broad brushstroke to paint you Which is why I said precocious More so I used it to define by your physicality which was out front and in full regalia
Regalia Nice word I like it
Maybe if you called me regal rather than precocious . . .
. . . We didnt know each
other Such a friendship wouldnt have
gone over well
If I were a boy . . .
. . . Not if you were a boy Children do not mix with men and men
dont mix with children and before you get your pants in a knot because I can
see it in your face the simmering right behind your eyes in them I dont mean it
as an affront
I mean it because it had to be and otherwise would have been inappropriate
I mean it because it had to be and otherwise would have been inappropriate
But you were inappropriate to say come see me when youre of age Two picture IDs
I was But then you were precocious And it certainly played well in the gist of things
It did Youre right It did
It was pretty funny
It was very funny And youre right it was funnier because it happened to Bobby was lavished on Bobby
Married since he was sixteen
Oh Im sorry I didnt know that
Not as sorry as he Though you might have prickedexcuse me a little something in him that night His marriage broke up later not that you were the cause but maybe the now here I go with genius the impetuous impetus
Ha genius I cant imagine
He was married only a year older than I was at the time
Married And had a child
Oh my god
Can you imagine that
No I would have aborted Id abort now
Not a good Christian girl
Religion hasnt a place determining my sexuality body my belief in myself
In this neck of the woods which Im sure youre aware knocked up IS baby on the way This community and its surroundings would pillory a girl who thought otherwise After all boys will be boys they response to their Godgiven sexuality whether theyre duped or seduced by a salacious . . .
. . . A teenage seductress . . .
. . . Or younger
Jesus
Were getting off point Bobby as you said was the perfect fallguy He didnt mind falling for you
He didnt did he
So what does your diary say about jailbait and switch What exactly did you mean
He fixated on my breasts duh so fixated he didnt listen to the story my words hence bait and the switch was the joke itself
I wouldnt have been able to pull it on you
No Not with a cigarette butt and nail polish as propsNo
No Though you listened to my tale
To be fair it was the first time Bobby ever laid eyes on you and Bobby I dare say hadnt been in the presence of youthful beauty or garnered attention deliberately lavished on him
You lavished him
Dont say it like that I didnt ravished him
Youre quick You followed It was as near to ravishment as Bobby would know He was damn near goofy in his obedience his acquiescence
You think
I think a puppy for his bone
Bone
I said bone
Okay
Yes Continue
You recall I had him make a fist and then I tried to finger it coming in from on top and explained how he had to relax so I could fit inside him I kept telling him to relax relax as I kept fingering his fist slipping my finger into it again and again
You were emphatic
I was Jailbait
He didnt hear a word of it Utterly fascinated
Utterly Stop it
I thought when you produced the stripped cigarette filter he might wonder where you were going with it
I was flummoxed
Then I gentled the filter into the hole in his fist and fingered it deeper and deeper into his hand
Grunting And sighing
And emphatic
I didnt miss your emphasis yaknow And you didnt miss I was watching you either
I wanted you to look
Then in a frenzy of fingering I swapped my finger for a capful of fingernail polish
And gasped
I did gasp I thought despite never having sex my gasp was perfectly time
Pitch perfect Though your laugh was like a cruel splash of ice water
Then Bobby opened his hand to your Look see I came
Had you ever seen that trick before
Not before And not since
Not since you saw me last
Not since I saw you last
the room grew very quiet quieter than even beyond the cessation of their talking
their cogs and gears marvelously oiled
whirling soundless
she closed her diary
sat holding it in her hands they faintly trembled
she didnt say anything
neither cleared their throat
feeling they were cigarette filters sensuously packed into someone expectant fist
uncharacteristically he low in his throat said
About those IDs
1630, Saturday, 30 4. 16
1250, Sunday, 1 5. 16
Fred Frith The Technology of
Tears: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug3w66y5a2Q
