21.4.16



he couldnt say what disturbed his sleep
                                 what rose from the swamp the foggy miasma of his stinking mind

if the generous hmmbuzz
                     like skin exfoliated
sounding in the depth of his ear
which he couldnt get at with a qtip  not deep enough to absorb or wipe out
was It
      or if inside his ear  what he felt
was something alive  unfurling 
                          a larva maturing

it muttered to him when he tried to sleep
                                 muttering in a sonorous voice that should have belonged to someone old
an ancient one
             their creaking and wheezing
confiding  Do you see?


Wharme lookin


No matter
Anywhere
I didnt encamp here grow here to expect you to look anywhere but where you wanted

Dont bitch me
 
Did you see?
he felt it twitch deep inside his ear  cochlear concatenations
                                                 beatings drummings twitches whispers


 

looking up into the dark above his bed he saw the ceiling fan shiver  exalt
then one of its four blades began to snake  snaillike  extending an eyestalk

then confusiona confusion only an Inanimate can have
                                            then changing it morphed
the blade retreated reducing to its original size
a preternatural reversal  its physics inertia silently turned the fan slightly

its ball bearings creaked as centimetres gave way  not so much a movement as a sigh
  a shift  arranged to a different perspective 
                                    then beside that blade another grew instead
stretched
to a hmmm of distortion

                    guttural
a nightsound one hears but cannot identify
                                   and listening hard  eyes searching for nothing
for nothing ever becomes of nightsounds because no one truly wants to see those night things that haunt their subconscious or unconsciousness 
                           that act on the stages of their dreams where they have the excuse that nightmares induced their horror as they mangled bodies inflicted torture  sadistically ignored pitiful pleas  bloodstained pliers squeezed hacksaw blades pushed and pulled and bonedust seeped  handdrills torqued and screwed-end bits bit  taking hold  boring  blood dribbles from scalps  skull plates try to resist  long hair twines up dullsteel shafts
 

the blade  elastic  grows longer

until above him in the dark when his eyes have grown accustom  he sees better  better
facing down
it forms a pale crucifix 

it flutters mothlike momentarily

and in that forlorn spasm a spark of grey life 
                                    Existence
 
on its belly where once was a whiteglass globe  it moves
rolls gently  carefully   working a kink out of its neck

hair grows

a beard grows
features
a twisted braid of thorns
crude handmade barbedwire



hanging above him 
looking down
watching him as he watches it
a crucified jesus swaddled at the hips with crude linen

his wounds drip  fall
                  they stain the blanket he lies under
perhaps soaked in cold cold water he might hopefully lift its holy smirch
                                                                                                             Do you see?
out of his dull ear
which he probed with his little finger for many days 
irritating him
hed laid in the sun his head turned to it trying to dry it out
it seemed he hadnt


out of it crawled a shivering bug

it crawled down to the angle of his jaw fluttered its slender scythe-shaped wings
apparently pleased by their formation and function it buzzed  then it lifted up into the bedrooms space and atmosphere to join with other night noises he heard

listening
        he could imagine someone hearing them 
their hand moving to their heart or throat in fear  sidling near madness imagining the crying beasts
 
them slithering crawling flying  a Hieronymus Bosch menagerie tickled from his triptych

he closed his eyes

                 Do you see?

his silent dumb acquiescence hadnt thwarted its voice or go unrewarded

there was an itch at his tricep  his arm bared  out from underneath his blanket 
another itch at his thigh through the blanket 
an itch atop his foot where jesuss was split by a crudeformed iron nail or peg  its head smashed by a forged hammer

not itches  bites

the bug fed



turning his head he saw the clocks red-illuminated display
 
it was still at 3:44

hed wakened at 3:44

time was unmoved

no matter if he was awake or asleep

it taunted him

he was barely able to hear  

it taunted him in the jeer of an auctioneer
                                  bleating  Do I hear . . .
provoking bids 
the ante raised 
What will you give me . . .
bidders cards raised into the air capturing his frenetic attention 
Now I hear . . .
Do I hear . . .
I hear . . .
the bids higher and higher up and up
deliciously tense 
expectant 
the bidding more lavish 
his sleeves held up by garters
the buttons near his throat undone 
him lighted by the redhue cast by the clocks display
3:44 
marbled like a seething caldera
a splashing volcano pregnant with new stone and sand
a final bid propositioned
(was he asleep or awake) 
the gavels wagged
crucified jesus screams 
his cross turning under the ceiling like a slow wagonwheel

the bug birthed out of his ear fed on his blood

crowded at the edges the threshold of his bed
things Bosch captured in oils
that were never allowed back from whence they came
because there 
were things that remained unseen unrealised

he tried to close his eyes
                     Do you see?


now the pliant hiss of a snake
                         Do you see?


a jetblack spider descends in its web to spin up its struggling prey
                                                     Do you see? 

the auctioneers gavel bangs
Sold!



he didnt answer

he refused to answer the Obvious




0344,  Twosday,  19  4. 16

20.4.16

No. 2 figueres abpresences



he held them by their wood grips turned his wrists familiarised himself to their dead weight

he drew the hammer back on the Blackhawk  its click sharp

its cry warmed the thugs who turned to its sound

they saw him standing guns drawn



 *   *   *
 

seeing him out among them spiked their blood

they crouched and growled like wolves

they raced towards him
the Church of Cruel Intent impelling them On  towards this vagrant  On  at this puny man who hadnt sense to stay holed up in the light in the storeys above their dark streets
running towards him some quicker than others their ranks broke 
their shoeleather beating the concrete and cobblestones
their chaotic soles scuffing pounding the pavement sounded and roiled in him reminded him a reverie the indecent act which preceded and forced him out onto the street
an act that horrified the LightOnes the Cowerers   Pewsitters


in a churchs basement he found a longhandle candlelighter cobwebbed and dusty 
he lashed a broad scrapper to its head and returning to its nave he then went up and down the aisles closest the outside walls scrapping away their elaborate details
upending from their hooks their paintings of the Stations of the Cross and as they were scrapped and tumbled they turned black as rot and mould and fell in flakes and fronds and concentric clots some heavy and crashing at his feet  others whirled  idled in the quiet somber golden air  the pews moaned violated quaked with remorse  but submitted


he removed himself
                 outside the thugs were thick  without suspicion  armed to the teeth  feeling invincible as thugs would

and why not
they had the numb-ers
the venality 
callousness 
an utter powerful carelessness


as the numb-ers raced towards him  separately  no phalanxes or flanks
 
one man  a single man   a head of the rest    most suicidal  grinning sardonically  a gleaming skull  slowed to a walk

as he came forward he dragged his thumb across the long blade he carried   his prints their whorls and loops played like a soft-sounding record

holding his ground to the thugs approach he casually raised his left arm to shoulder height  leveling the Ruger six-shooter  and squeezed the trigger
it CLICKd  the firstchamber empty

the thug flinched momentarily   then mouthed Bluff

the secondchamber CLICKd empty

more thugs had caught up and stood watching  they began to laugh

the first suicidal began to draw his blade back to strike laughing with the rest

those that had handguns began to draw them from their belts


before pulling the trigger a third time he smiled

he stepped forward to meet their onslaught

the Blackhawk still extended

his strides in cadence with their ha  --  ha  --  ha  --  has . . .


the thirdchamber BARKED
the thugs head exploded
showered egg-shell bits of skull
brain-meat face-meat
whips of long hair

the bullet passes through the bloodmist and gore and tacked to meet the next thugs skull and the next 
 
from skull to grinning skull

shattering   shattering

the street sounding echoing smashed china


as the smashing went on and on he raised his right and fired it into the face of a shocked suicider  a youth who had closed on him with a stiletto and readied to stab him in the ribs

perhaps the youth expected a CLICK

the Old West revolver threw its bullet on a tongue of orange flame scorching the kids face his forehead bubbled before the bullet smashed his wideeyed countenance and exited the ruin curving to find its next target

the night air a cacophony of blasted china over seeping sounds and gutters gurgles



he fired the other two bullets to assist the first and second

they whined pitifully until they found their marks and made their slaughter



he didnt know the bullets would be as they were

he knew only that he had four and with those four he thought at the least he could infect the figueres the thugs with the thought that behind him would someday come another and another and others and that they would know they wouldnt always be able to beleaguer the LightOnes the Cowerers  for inside them brooded darker souls who wouldnt wait for their god to vanquish their enemies

he didnt know

he was grateful
              he didnt prostrate himself



when night collapsed to the eerie sounds that would have followed a soothing rain that hadnt fallen and the birds quieted themselves again in their roosts
when the moon uncovered her eyes
he let the revolvers fall to the street
                             listened to their clatter run its echoes off the rows of houses and building faces 
their sound running the length of the canyons and fadingfaded

he stooped and swept up the bits of broken ivory-coloured skullbones in blankets and shook them up into the sky where stars remembered their memories  and they parted to embrace these memories imbued in bone

 
communing in their forever and eternal black maw  knowing it could never be filled or satiated  the stars happily received their fresh communions




conceived 0647,  Moanday,  11  4. 16
 1517,  Moanday,  18  4. 16

Desiderii Marginis - the sweet hereafter / procession (live @ Petit Bain - 11 mai 2013)