[ih – neyn]

[ih – neyn]

                  it aint

he took distinct derision and offence to the stone-chiseled memorial erected in the old graveyard beside the Mission chapel

the fact that its ignorance remained  had traipsed down through the years since it was bestowed
that it hadnt been shattered or effaced(it wouldnt be considered desecrating Holy ground) or ground away with tools to nothingness(which would have been better) upset him

apparently his grievance or offence was uncommon among the many that whiled away their time visiting the Mission
its museum and grounds and old graveyard

committed in stone

                                it referred to thousands of indigenous Indians who were committed to this wretched drawn earth which couldnt support crops or plants  desolate earth formed  it seemed  to be nothing more than a graveyard to hold their crumbling remains

the nameless converted souls(he imagined) who were buried there and attributed on a pylon of stone   Inians

Inians

he read a Donald Barthleme quote the other day   I prefer the inane . . . the ane(one) is often inutile(of no use) to the artist

Joanna Scott who cited Barthleme went on to express that the ane  its certainities  its direct connections between words and meaning  assured him that truth could be expressed through language*

he read furthur for himself

he was horrified

                            inane from the Latin  inanis   the word meaning empty  void  or worthless

he engendered the sneaking suspicion that the stonecarver did not err when he carved Inians  his private HA or AH

belittling a People with a word jumble from inanis

if the man werent dead  he would happily have given him his chisel or hammer inanus

because he was crude that way
  

when he took offence he liked to return it

for that matter he wasnt beyond excoriating the throngs that had come since and witnessed the telltale contempt

had a white mans stone been arrant
he was certain their family wouldnt have allowed it to be placed or stand incorrect at the head of their grave

he couldnt imagine this slight any differently

or the only difference was

no one felt slighted

                                or considered it a blatant  unmistakable outrage

cynically he thought   H O W

1800-ish,  Friday,  7  8. 15

 1158,  Saturday,  8  8. 15

* http://www.thenation.com/article/where-now-lets-go/

           

Some things youd think were utterly  and I mean utterly   natural    spontaneous

down to fuckin innate

Ive thought that most my life

I have assumed it most my life

                     

and apparently its the only thing I blindly take for granted  an entitlement  whereas I despise entitlement everywhere
I find it 

I have to assume everyone enjoys a blatant entitlement which they dont see in themselves   it is too subjective

they are too near it   it is the shadow they have theyll not ever lose

and yet if I hadnt witnessed it

if it hadnt caught me so very off guard  flatfooted

frankly shocking in its exposure

I wouldnt have thought it existed

I am athletically entitled

                                        I take it for granted

my hand-eye coordination is significant and has made waves among my siblings extended family and eventual competitors

I often talked about seeing and how the game I watch unfolds in s l o w-motion

 

I could anticipate deflections knew precise angles to chase down fly balls make bounce passes off the hardwood played backboard shots inside what later became known as the three-point arc lay sacrificial bunts saw where my receivers would be and threw to that spot

I could see those things as easily as I could see women who tried very hard to secret their ample bosom

I cant say that one has surprised me

I followed a friend into a car showroom and watched the salesman approach him and as he walked towards my friend he step by step furtively eyed his hand and introducing himself he eyeballed it one last time before he banged home his handshake

afterwards my friend said that I was nuts  the salesman didnt do that

I said he did  ungainly   awkwardly

I watched him use a clandestine more-basic less-finessed timing that I use when I find myself approaching a woman head-on and want to appreciate the heft and motion of her breasts  though not lecherously  subtly

surprisingly other times an over-the-top candid appeal or appreciation works out far better

then however I could see her coming from far off far sooner and from a distance she couldnt distinguish me

I easily hawk-eye her and enjoy a preternatural anticipation and titillation

  

some inherent inborn abilities are worth their weight in gold  

                                                                                                   goddamn near sacred

but this poor schlemiel

I wondered how many handshakes and grips he missed   catching air  awkwardly banging knuckles  which has to be as bad as bumping cocks during a ménage à trois  not that he was spirited away for those candlelighted dalliances fueled by coke and sex hashish and sex psilocybin and sex or other hallucinogenic appetites plying for wanton sex

Yes Virginia(of the infamous There is a Santa Claus fame) there is a difference between wanton sex and wanting sex

I would have to take for granted that the schlemiel and I would concur  and because we dont often have a chance to concur and concurring is more fun than a barrel full a bevy of altered wetted naked buxom women when hand-eye coordination is least desired

which he was sure was the keen synthesis of Little Jack Horner when he touted he stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said what a good boy am I

Little Jack Horner was his carnal Fairy Tale hero and he swore if he could ever talk up some maidens lay them to waste(cause if my minds tore up then my body dont care(Zappa)) hed love to bring Jack into the game into the room
and not turn out again

                                      because he hadnt either the strength or the consciousness to fuckin move

innate only goes so far

1558,  Sunday,  13  9. 15 

 1735,  Sunday,  13  9. 15