sometimes when you reach back go
long
you pluck the plum
snatch it from out of the sky
and
its probably best when it happens in common places
uncommon happenings in common surroundings are far more thrilling and edifying
than them happening in superlative
places which would seem incorporated
in the Fantastic
she read over his shoulder
-- My love
sometimes youre so full of shit
-- Wow
And youd begin it how Ms
Smartypants
-- From the beginning
-- The beginning
-- The beginning
snagging ahold of some old cinema
-- The beginning The
beginning You cant handle the beginning . . .
-- Aw boy
You dont want the beginning . . .
-- I dont want to listen to this please
-- . . . you opened the door sweets
-- I did I did
Idid
Continue
-- . . . thank you . . .
he cleared
his throat and continued his best Nicholson
. . . You
dont want the beginning because deep down in places you dont talk about at
parties
you want me on that wall you need me on that wall We use words like honor code loyalty We use these words
as the backbone of a life
spent defending something
You use them as a punchline
I have neither the time nor the
inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket
of the very freedom that I provide and
then questions the manner in which I provide it
I would rather you just said
thank you and went on your way . . .
-- Thank you
-- Yah You impressed
I think I remembered it correctly
I think
-- Yes sounded
right
But you always impress me
Did you impress yourself
-- Idid
Been awhile since I had a chance
to unroll it
-- Yes
Doesnt lend itself to being unrolled
You tortured it a bit
-- Yah
Guantanamoed it
till its closed
things like that from the days of Bushwhacked America those were unforgettable parcels
that hung in
the air between them
that
they wouldnt let fold be unspoken
the unmitigated idiocy
the equally and apparent American bloodthirstiness
It had to have its revenge and
was blinded to an oblique reality
which
they thought was obvious the best reply
a
concerted worldwide intelligence effort
everyone having skin in the game
not the bullshit Youre either with U.S. or against U.S.
most countries already had more skin into it than the United States
but to be sure
that backronym that infamous backburnered
USA PATRIOT Act*
was aching like a pair of
red white and blue balls wanting to come loose
bust a nut
and we were off and ignored
and ignorantly misled
it was things like that
that got in the way
they still got in the way
but to-day was something else
an aligning of stars
the perfect fucking storm
armed with need for their
larder
a
mitt full of coupons
and a wholly unexpected sale
they
nearly pranced into the most foreboding place on the planet that they could
imagine
the supermarket
to do the ungodly chore of buying
provisions
managing its irrationally stocked
shelves and disparate placements of product
retarded endcaps for instance tortillas placed beside a bank of freezers for frozen foods ten aisles away from a small display of Mexican food beside Chinese food and then the various spices and seasonings they needed in yet another aisles three aisles away nearly in Produce on a slender erect cardboard display of parceled cellophane bags
a good portion of the time the
advertised Sales items were out of stockOops!(probably didnt think theyd
endure the Courtesy Counter for rain checks
-- they did)
and then the forever Cherries atop a Hot Fudge Sundae
whipped cream and nuts
the fat women who blocked the
aisles without their shopping carts but
also had carts filling the aisles and were unresponsive
oblivious to their polite Excuse us please excuse us Um
Excuse me Please Would you please excuse us
Pardon
me Excuse me please
obviously he wasnt hitting the
dog whistle pitch meant for their hanging arms awesome drooping breasts or fat
asses
to make like Moses to part the Red Sea
E X C U S E M E !
!
his voice carried like a gunshot
she would have preferred to retreat
back down the aisle and gone around bypassing their jiggling clot
he would rather suffer the
pains of Hell than do that
because they werent the ones who
were being inconsiderate rude(they knew
damn well they were congregating in a public place a grocery store aisle and the only way he could see fit to ignore
or forgive their blatant rudeness was if some muscular fantasy fairy lifted
them up from out of their kitchens as it
appeared they were assuming as much
according to their dress and then set rematerialized
their considerable asses down in the aisle without breaking their
ankles(a feat) beside half-filled shopping carts that held their purses)
Jesus she said under her breath
the collective three dully
turned their rubbery elasticized necks to glare at them
their glares compounding --
which he recognised everywhere they went together --
particularly when the looks were coming off women --
their glares narrowed focused
like red laser beams past him -- onto his girlfriend who looked ten years younger than she was at her handsome toned figure her dropdead gorgeous(even if he did say so)
exotic face under her nearly jetblack
short bangs
they snorted like discontented
hogs waiting to be slopped
-- Evidently
you were too involved in your conversation to hear our pleas asking if we could be excused so we could pass
May we pass please
they continued their glares perhaps as if they thought they could make
them disappear
not waiting to hear which one would
have the mouth for the three he grasped the
nearest shopping cart pulling it back behind the woman immediately to his left If we
move this one to your back(this woman had gobbled up most of the aisle by
herself and stood with her backside to their approach a foot from the shelves) that should purchase us enough room for us to pass
We dont need much
room
Jesus really
dont need much room she
said to the back of his head
they fixed him with their eyes
and he met each
and every one of
their eyes which screamed Violated
and Who the fuck do you think you are
despite the religious necklaces at their gullets which were worn more like chokers(and someday
might actually accomplish the feat)
Thank you ladies
on the other side of the Cherries of Scylla Charybdis and whomever the third
was
nearly out the end of the aisle safely out of earshot
his girlfriend chided him that he rarely verbally assault fat men in his
riffs because there were plenty of fat men
to go around too
I dont disagree theres a number
of fat men of fat people in America who probably prefer the PC obese oh boy
though nothing about me is PC but
youll have to agree with me Id
assume that fat men dont congregate they aint like fat women like H-two-O
she screwed up her face
two
atoms of hydrogen one atom of oxygen
threesomes
and if you consider it every fat man weve ever come upon in the
grocery store has kept his cart and
himself to one side of the aisle or the
other
Theyre aware theyre in an
aisle and by logic Ill ascribe them that theyre also aware even accidentally they might be in someones way though only momentarily so
she ran it through her head of their experiences
-- I have to give you that
-- Thank you
Theyre
courtesy fat men
Its not like anyone can
obscure or deny that theyre fat is it
No
And fat no matter
is the correct adjective
If you dont want to be called
fat dont be fat
-- Some people arent well
-- And likely unwell because their fat their weight isnt helping the equation
I
know people wholly use illness
as
an excuse to be fat
Fat dont happen in the snap of
fingers
Does it
-- No
that exchange took
them out to the front aisle of the store before the Check-Outs across from swollen endcaps and impromptu
tables set-up with sweets on them
impossible to miss as
planned the last gauntlet of spontaneous
temptation
they went hard left towards the
Produce at the aisles end
some fresh vegetables were the
last of their purchase to acquire
he wasnt distracted by
anything not by any want-of for the
necessary-things he was there for
she however
was unlike him(opposites do attract) and occasionally starstruck and
dazzled and nearly childlike in her disappointment when she heeled to gasped
and entertain some particular stock that caught her fancy
and whatever it was in hand
shed turn from the faced shelves only to find him at the far end of the
aisle patiently waiting for her to
replace the item and continue their shopping
mutely indicating pointing in the
direction he was about to disappear into
holding his hand like a pistol jabbing a couple three times(into a
gangsters back shoving the braced or
wrists-tied vic into a forest off Frosts less traveled road in his other hand a short spade to dig a
shallow grave)
when they garnered their
vegetables having already acquired their
Sale and couponed items in their
ever-diminishing handheld basket(another corporate ploy --
attempting the psychology to embarrass their shopper --
that shopper who is made uncomfortable by wheeling up to the Cashier
with but a few items in their huge wheeling cart --
whose items look inconsolably at one another trying very hard sympathetically to share in their buyers frugality yet visually mocking them -- Do
you see how cheap I am Do you see how
lazy I am pushing around a nearly empty
cart and of course the ploy of the
baskets pushed by every human being in the store into the ever-narrowing aisles
and the ever-fattening men and women clogging its arteries --
forcing obstructions -- and the obstacles placed in their ways to
overcome -- slowing everyones egress and exit from the
store --
making the thing of a quickstop
breezing-through to exist only in the shoppers mind -- the
paths have been mined -- tall cardboard displays placed in aisles to
impede traffic -- a pair of orange cones on the linoleum floor at
either end of where something was accidentally dropped broken and spilled -- or
was it -- and is still Dangerously Wet --
pass at your own peril -- you drop and hurt yourself --
those cones are Management telling you
Its on you No lawsuit baby -- and
the Danger clearly demarcated is surveiled by the stores cameras recording for insurance purposes and to mitigate thief --
which he had sympathy for -- there had been more than several times he
entered a supermarket and liberated slices of bread and packaged meat and had
himself a clandestine sandwich as he walked through the store and then out
again after a few quaffs of cold milk from a quart and a handful of nuts from a
convenient easy-opening tin -- it was a phase)
having finally made the Check-Out
they were stoked
they damn near worked an obscene
choreography between them from him
handing off items from inside the basket
to her savagely snatching them out of his hands or despoiling his methodology too anxious to get out of Dodge wanting to grab some herself speed up the
process him feigning forward to let her
have at them then suddenly reeling back
with it amid peals of their laughter
who EVER
laughs in a grocery line
she held a pen between her sharp
white teeth and fingered a nearly completed check in her back pocket at her rump
-- Can you get that for me she asked
he grabbed a handful of ass
Nice
How bout the check
-- Oops
-- As if you didnt see it
-- Distracted I was Much too nice an ass to avoid the temptation Theres a lot of it around here
Temptation
that is
besides there were no children in the line nor
within earshot
and then with all the items lurching and staggering
down the conveyer they became more
stoked as cash melted off
the register the slithering paper receipt by the
resourcefulness of their hot coupons and taking full advantage of the in-store
Sales
they would save 57% when the final
tally was made
they didnt know that then
with the work done they actually
enjoyed and bathed in the music playing over the PA
drifting down onto them like a shimmering mist refreshing cool rain on a bright sunlit day or
feathery snowflakes hushing down through a stark black sky
she stood across from the cashier
entering their savings-code and waiting to write their check
he stood at the end of Check-Out
and worked the conveyer belt to bring their items to him so he could bag them
in the bags she purchased
“Our house is a very very fine
house with two cats in the yard life used to be so hard” played over them
they looked at one another smiling
acknowledging Crosby Stills Nash and Youngs Our House much like their house
they were nearly escaped
the PA music was interrupted frankly by a pleasant voice for a change
not the usual shrill command or demand of someone
pleasant
maybe also caught up in the vibe and lyrics of the song
Attention Meat Department 201 Meat Department 201
as he bagged their foodstuff he
laughed to himself at the quiet announcement
his mind
calculating reeling with the greed of
laughter
Meat Department 201
as she completed their
transaction taking up the duplicate check
the receipt from the cashiers hand
capping the ball point pen
walking down towards him at the foot of the cashier counter he grabbed the two colorful vinyl bags by
their straps
-- Did you want help with
those
she
subtly interrupted him
-- No thanks love Ive got them
she smiled
over the PA interrupting the
ending of Our House Meat Department 201
she said
-- Are you sure you dont want me to take
those Sounds like youre wanted elsewhere
Meat Department 201
-- Damn You preempted me
-- As if I couldnt see that coming
-- Damn
Well then here you take these
bags
When
Meats needed who am I to deny their call
Cant believe they knew I was here
-- No you take the bags and get to the car Thats me coming over the PA
Id like to be coming elsewhere
his eyebrows disappeared
somewhere into his hairline
hustling out to the car in his
head he heard Zappas What Kind of Girls Do You Think We Are?** as he trailed her watching a pair of puppies playful playing in her
pants
YEOW
1614, Twosday,
9 6. 15
1610, Day-between-Two-Ts, 10 6.
15
* Uniting and Strengthening
America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct
Terrorism Act of 2001
