29.3.15



It was a small store front
among a series of awkward side-by-side bays
retail space
all let by the same uninspired realty and management company
year  after   year    after     year     after      year
either a front or maintained as a legit tax write-off
no matter 
                 business was created to fuck other people
Please  the insult people take  you shouldnt forget  This isnt personal
Its business

                     Gawddamn he loved those businessmen most 
                                                                                                Teeing themselves up
smiling smug   and so  so very pretty
and certain 

on occasion  not frequently  he followed up their business conjecture with
stepping back  standing away 
                                                  momentarily                                                                          
squaring his shoulders to their balls
feet  shoulder width apart  knees slightly bent 
wagging his No. 1 wood
 
                                        where the drawl came from he hadnt the slightest idea
it just sounded so fucking appropriate
--   Nothing personal  Purely business

stepping forward  shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet  he rocked them
he supposed they could take that insult anyway they wanted when they returned from Lalaland

the bullshit they thought theyre entitled to
 

The store front was located at the edge of Old Town  which was desirable  in a one
hundred year old village erected at the crossroads of wagon routes running west to the ocean and east
and El Camino Real  north to south
a historic artery between twenty-one military and religious Spanish Missions
established by Catholic priests of the Franciscan Order to infect Native Indian tribes

every grade school child was taught to memorize and recite those Mission names 
                  
History
             Ah   to be the Victor to write History through their eyes alone
It is how Lies become Fact
     

Old Town  for as long as hed lived there  was constantly being touted for renovation 
in an attempt to reinvigorate the District

                                                                  Old Town was the first cancer cell formed
but it failed to metastasize
and then lost steam over the remaining 20th Century  dialed down into a maudlin
shitcoloured bedroom community


When the store front opened it was inspiring
he attended the Grand Opening
                                                     he wished its starry-eyed entrepreneur/curator
good fortune  and better luck

he firmly supported the Arts
although he supposed Art  as Beauty   inevitably  was in the eye of the Beholder
                                        
the Art he found displayed on easels and hung from partitions behind its plateglass windows
were less than inviting 
 
over the past year its efforts simmered down into Sex Sells propositions
scantily clad women  underwater  valiantly attempting to impersonate mermaids
believed compleat
                              by their photographer
if compleat mean tail fins fish scales and tits 
                                                                          their tits reflecting off the surfaces belly

he had chosen not to walk near the store for some time
evidently not a fan of merfantasy


Yesterday it was gone

its guts evaporated
its black and green tiled floor strewn with a single paint-spattered aluminum foot ladder
and scraps and tatters of paper like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle never to be pieced together

waiting on the firm minimum-waged hand  and a push broom
 
                                                                                                       providing another ash heap for History



1414,  Saturday,  28  3. 15
1604,  Sunday,  29  3. 15

28.3.15



His soul made him uncomfortable 

It looked like an inside-turned-out dull black umbrella

It wasnt talking to him
                                       a discursive pantomime  perhaps
implying his inherent worthlessness

threatening collapse
thin-ribbed
fragile

without joy for rain
or pity for him


It was yanked free of his body
drawn on a shiny black wire into the bare stick treetops across the cobblestone street he stood at
and perched there like a scrawny bird
turning  slowly
espying him with red irritated eyes


with his soul outside him he thought he must surely be dead 

but he could thrust his arms before himself
wiggle his fingers  amicably
Hell  inside his shoes he could wiggle his piggies to the music wafting out of some unseen window as someone inside breakfasted on scrambled eggs spinach     ah  smells like cheese      and ah  dark rye toast
Wheres the jelly or preserves


would a dead person trouble himself with arms legs music and someone elses breakfast

he might
might not

whats dead 
                     anyways
a state of mind
                          unminded
he thought
                  Why wasnt he distraught
but then he thought
                                Dead doesnt think
Did it 
                                                                            
he didnt think so
not before

Before 
            How novel

Before   Now    After  
                                footprints in the sand  tracks in the snow
a process   a procession
nobody really knew
no one he knew ever divulged experiential knowledge of Death

his soul
in the bare stick tree
yawned

he couldnt make out Its face to determine if It was tired
or bored
or even if It politely covered Its maw with Its hand

but then It wasnt built like him

It wasnt homo-ified

It looked like an illicit derelict   shabby

if he wasnt going to look like himself after he died he wouldnt have ever assumed this   not in thousands of years
of guessing   but maybe in the professed Eternity  a Time Warp  Wormhole

Maybe
              maybe if he were petty or what was that thing he could never wrap his head around  --  vain  --  yes vain  --  if he were vain hed be awful upset by his Hereafter  --  its shrill representation
                                                                                                                              a sterile umbrella
up there in a stick tree


he had arguments with his shadow
and It walked off on him to let him really think about how he was acting  and even then he wasnt sure who was more immaterial in the meantime
                                              him without  or It without him
they were both vaguer without the other

and cooled off

theyd reunite
after dancing and parrying a tad bit more

then apologizing



but this was different
                                     latent   pedantically     pedestrian 
                  



it occurred to him they were alright                    

apparently one didnt need the other
and vice versa


he looked down at his feet
they shifted impatiently
scuffing their leather soles

he was done waiting

he was alive and kicking



his soul ruffled Its water-resistant nylon skeins
                                                                                --  AT HIM  --
ruffled his stuff at him

Whaddahell
so he ruffled his stuff right back at him     
                                                                  at It

It  separate   couldnt  or probably wasnt a him any more


how to sex a soul

not his problem



freed   he walked away unencumbered     refreshed




0900,  Seattle Monday,  23  3. 15