. .
. her birthday his breath seized
his lips turned bitter purple
marmaladed
had it been already been another .
. . been another year
tomorrow
her birthday was tomorrow
he met her when she was
nineteen
on a Halloween night in
Miami
I maim
he couldnt say
Miami without echoing I maim
she raised her eyebrows
Why
would he say that
he said I say lots of things that
come to my mind without exclusion or censor
Yer the best looking
pussy Ive ever seen
she
was dressed up like a black cat
her hair parted at
center pulled up and shaped to form kitten ears
the tip of her nose blackened
whiskers
streaking her cheeks
she held her tail in the crook of
her arm
she wore mittens
one
white
the other black
boots
pink felt pads sewn onto them
and in feline manner she feigned
licking them then groomed her face and
ears
she must have practised a cats
deliberation and anxiousness
its staring pauses
feline
regalness
she was spot on
.
. . the best looking pussy hed ever seen
he didnt say it to her then that Halloween night
cliché
the stuff of other peoples stories that made his eyes roll too obvious
Really
a Really eye roll
fatuous
Fabled
he sucked his breath so he didnt
say I think I love you
her hazel eyes sparkled
her bright evenness-teeth-hed-ever-seen
sparkled
with her laughter and quick smile
I do
I do
I think I love you
No he didnt let the cat out of the bag that Halloween
she was way ahead of the
Deal
due to her birthright
he was still in the Midwest
trying to extricate himself from his birthright and Mire and Cogs
extricate wasnt too severe a word to describe the longing he had to be anywhere
than where
he was
he kept his head down
nose to the grindstone
because it helped
an oblique oblivion
then he couldnt look around
and didnt have to see that he was still fat in it
Still
while she was spending her
summers in Montana on a ranch in the Bitterroot Valley
rode horseback
rode cattle between pastures and rode them up into the high National
Forest lands to free graze and fatten
she vacationed with her family in
Florida the Bahamas three times sailed
between them
vacationed in
Hawaii
had Christmases in Colorado
New
Year Eves in New York City
and other times of the year returned across country with her mother to
shop and then continue Upstate where her parents hailed from
where they cut their privileged teeth
her mother from a prominent family
her
father of a divorce that fixed a perverse singlemindedness to get ahead at
whatever the cost
you
didnt want to be between him and what he wanted
he was ruthless
they vacationed in the red hills
of Sedona
Taos
New Mexico
when he traveled
it
was by car
a
stationwagon actually
stuffed
with his family
they tried hard to realise those
Sunday afternoon drives
wake in the morning
when he returned from his two
paper routes he began his breakfast as the rest were finishing theirs
then were at the dishes as his parents
swept the crumbs from the table around him and began fashioning a picnic basket
for the drive
it was a dance
perfectly wordlessly coordinated
kids ascended the stairs to their
bedroom to dress and gather their things for the ride as kids descended the stairs
to the finished front room in the basement that was made into a bedroom to
dress and gather their things for the ride
when he finished his breakfast
washed
the dishes and utensils he used
if
he had finished the yardwork jobs he hustled the neighborhood for on weekends
hed clean up to go too
if he hadnt
he missed the
Sunday drive downstate or into Wisconsin or Indiana
or when he traveled
by the glossy innards
of National Geographic that he wanted so badly he conceded foregoing future birthday
and Christmas gifts if it was seen fit for him to have an annual years subscription
he traveled National Geographic science fiction literature
the inside of his head grew
bigger and more adventurous than anywhere a jet plane could take him
Reality paled in the vivid light
of his imagination
.
. . her birthday was tomorrow
she took him up on his marriage
proposal (he crossed his fingers)
she
birthed them two daughters
she
stayed lovingly with him until her avowed
Till Death Do We Part
Till Death Do we Part
as
committed to perfect mechanical memory
as
I Do
utterly mindlessly
conceded
during the insane
altitude and virtual breathlessness
sweeping them up High and Alone
Together
and
alone
standing side by side before most
of the people in their lives who mattered
who they loved and utmost
respected
and salted away amid the ceremony
was their utmost naiveté
it
never crossed their minds not Then
not
only the utter solemnity of the words and
Promise
Till
Death Do We Part
he knew Death since he was a boy
being
part of an enormous Catholic immigrant family granted it
Death entered
It kicked down doors
probably
a half dozen doors a year
if
not more
Hell --
they had a Family funeral home and undertaker who eventually married
into the Family before his teens
sadly which
seemed perverse to him
she
knew only one death by the time they married
a suicide
of a high school boyfriend
who called her after she broke up
with him to tell her he was going to kill himself
Dont try to stop me
You
cant
No
one can
Nobody can find me in time
they did not
Till Death Do We Part
why would anyone give Death a
passing thought during the brilliant white optimism and swollen potential of
that Moment
let alone think
Till Death Do We
Part
would
mean
Death
would be a suicide by her own hands
2200, mid-air,
Wednesday, 18 3. 15
0921, Saturday,
21 3. 15
