He dug the name of the bar

it was clever

it was one of the reasons why he went there why he spent his money to support a local endeavor

hed bleed for a local place before hed walk into any corporate establishment

 

that  

       and its selection of craft beers

he was hitting back at all his lopsided friends who were up to their blinking eyeballs in their posh vineyards  their wines  their vintages noses and legs 

what the hell was with those little fucking fingers on their hands  sticking out  as they sipped

and sipping  the fuck     

                        he wanted something he could quaff or guzzle and wipe off on his sleeve

a little finger

lose a thumb 

now youre talking real troubles

that wasnt to say that troubles didnt rear their ugly heads in cleverly named bars

his trouble had a name too

Reginald                  he went by Reginald

supposedly you werent – according to regulars – even dare ask him if you might shorten his name to Reggie

despite Reginald shortening everyone elses name to suit his taste

he didnt asked the regulars

he overheard them

and being himself to a T

before Reginald got the drop on him

as he witnessed happening to others a couple three other times hed been in the bar prior

Reginald skulked  sneaked at the edges with the wiles of a hungry coyote  scouting the unfamiliar territory  not nefariously  inappropriately  before coming face to face with a newcomer

he was preemptive

Reginald wasnt happy he beat him to the punch

the regulars werent either

so much for cliques

 

he liked it when they spasm  and couldnt snap their fingers from the height of their barstools

unlike the fiction of Cheers

where everybody knows your name and theyre always glad you came

they could save that crap for those who would listen

he didnt have time

--   So Reggie

--   Excuse me Nobody calls me Reggie

--   They really suffer dragging it out to Reginald

--   Thats the name my father gave me if he wanted me to be called Reggie he would have named me Reggie

--   So your father had a sense of humor that didnt follow him eh

--   Eh

My father was humorless  He cuckolded  And was a drunk

--   Cuckold  Cant say Ive had many conversations where cuckold has reared up

Your father died when you were young

--   Who are you to talk to me of my father

--   Thats the name my father gave me  you said

You brought him up

--   I think youve gotten off on the wrong foot up off the wrong side of the horse

--   Well  I cant possibly call you Reginald

 

Got a nickname

--   Reginald

--   End of conversation

--   I didnt get your name

--   No  You didnt and theres no need of introductions now either

You be who you are  and Ill be me

Reginald sneered

the regulars sneered

 

he was alleviated of braying and could enjoy his beer
thats what he came to enjoy anyways

though he wasnt being entirely fair  and he knew it  but sometimes you can read the writing on the wall and if anarchy is misspelled or the printing is nearing graffiti

best keep it at arms length  your back to a wall  and facing the door

he overheard Reginald   --   he laughed   --   talking about lovers

he had an inherent mistrust of anyone who talked about    their lovers

he met a woman in another bar once who saddled in bedside him and launched into her success as a personal consultant

she was there that night celebrating her lovers birthday  Hes at that table

he was sitting just over his right shoulder  Then why are you here

Because you seem like someone who would recognise the value of a personal consultant

Youre attractive  well put together  but I wouldnt have friends Id have to pay for

the violation swelled gorgeously in her eyes

then he thought hed tip the pot

                                                  Are you soliciting me  Is your lover your pimp

BOOM she was up and six feet behind him outraged  sputtering to her lover and it wasnt as if her lover was going to have a choice in the matter

he had offended her

and she was the kind of woman whose offenses had to be defended and offenders punished

but he was preemptive

coming off the bench he sat on

his hand firmly at the benchs back he bunched his fist and threw a haymaker her lover eagerly rushed  into

it wasnt a fair fight

it wasnt a fight

it was a better than six foot blonde on his back entering a nonfiction in the Twilight Zone

  

he wanted to speed her along after him but figured things usually didnt work out this way for her and they were going to task and stretch every last bit of her skill and shallow reserves

he didnt go to bars to make friends

he went there for what he deemed were adult reasons

to share a drink with a friend or have a drink while he read a magazine newspaper  a book  do a crossword  or talk  vicariously  with an absent old friend by wrioting them a letter

somehow

                he was never innocuous or a wallflower

 

1345,  Friday,  23 1. 15 

simply stated

despite that he was her boyfriend

she was  The flame that attracts the moths

male or female

the males

shed had years of perfecting  dissuading them

stopping them in their tracks before they could even get the ball rolling

and she had become quite artful at not hurting their tender feelings

she could take No

but for some unknown reason or reasons still alluding her  No was the epitome of rejection  bruising their feelings and egos or egos and feelings

she wasnt a guy so she didnt understand the psyche pecking order

her boyfriend was no help

he took No

never really elaborated on why

offered it seemed a real simple transaction

Yes meant Yes  

No meant No

Black wasnt White

and White wasnt Black

she could only nod in agreement  nothing there to scratch your head over

but females

a whole other subject

like trying to hit a well-thrown knuckleball

damn thing wouldnt stand still
 

after a good workout at the health club she enjoyed a hot dry sauna

threw the switch off for the overhead light

gently coerced the thermostat with a dribble of water to kick its heating elements on again

and took a spot on the cedar bench  sat erect eyes closed

and went off in her head as she cooked

if someone entered they usually respected her chi

an almost palatable solitude she erected

                                                                  like shimmering glass

had someone preceded her into the sauna

she certainly respected theirs

it was a matter of courtesy that she perceived as common  common-as-dirt sense

people who live in glass houses shouldnt throw stones

the woman who entered the sauna after her

smashed her house

her clogs slapped carelessly against the concrete floor and she groaned groaned groaned and oohed Hot Ouch and manifested every sniff and snort anything else a child might do to be recognised or not ignored

despite   the element she walked in on . . .

it was not unobvious

there were lots of broken panes to peek out through

and as she expected

as she did  literally  peeked

. . . unfortunately she never mastered the stony dull eye of barely restrained belligerence her boyfriend had

he could kill an unwanted conversation with scarcely a withering look

he had an evil eye

Its not evil hed say I dont believe in it

Trust me shed reply its evil  If I was a demon Id be waiting on you to croak so Id be first in line at it  Snag it up and stuff it in my vacated eyesocket

Youre gross  Better bring a folding chair along  Gonna be a long long wait

he was belligerent

her eye opened a sliver

My its hot hotter than I usually find it Ill have to drink lots and lots of water while I bake Ridiculous not bake roast I noticed you havent a water bottle I couldnt possibly do that How do you do it I may have to dump some water over myself to stay put I recognise you from the weight room when Ive gone past The men must love you in there Youre quite attractive young Id give my eyeteeth to be your age again That was some time Some time I had to beat men off with a stick or whatever I could lay my hands on They couldnt take no Id say no Then they almost beg Hell Some would beg Beg beg beg Full grown men if you know what I mean full grown men rendered into impatient stubborn children My my my That was some time Some time I come in here take the heat take it for my hips my hips and knees God Its hot The heat feels so good particularly after I swim So good

Yet  you say you saw me in the weight room

Thats where the men are I gotta hand it to you Brilliant absolutely brilliant Youre a smart girl clever like your style Your strategy

Because I lift weights

Oh baby you can play it straight with me Lift weights buck stops here wouldnt breathe a word not a syllable

Good  I lift weights  I have a boyfriend

Thats a waste a boyfriend you ought to have boyfriends boyfriends peeling c-notes off their bankrolls for your pleasure whatever you want any old thing you want for their pleasure too it aint a one way street cant be a dumb bunny about it you get yours first they get theirs I mean its a rare boy that can hang with a woman They aint made like us Theres a reason were built like were built and we can exhaust them one after another after another Hell A boyfriend

Honey the worlds your oyster

If I were you thered be broken spent men in my wake

Once upon a time once upon a time

Your hips   And your knees

Yes hips and knees What sits before you is a cyborg artificial hips knees I think a got a shoulder coming in a little while my pitching arm

Pitching arm

You know  she motioned like a man masturbating  my pitching arm Some boys like being jacked off and watching themselves cum I dont masturbate they say Liars So I let them keep their lies and jack em off same price as if Im on my back or on my knees Unimaginative clucks If I got me a really good man Id fuck him for half price for my pleasure not too many men interested in my pleasure Which truth be known meant I could turn them in five minutes and scream how fucking good they were how they made me cum Oh Daddy Oh Daddy whats with these guys and daddy huh

I dont know

Hmm  Whod thought spreading my legs and giving head would have lead to fake hips and knees  Tell ya this much Im grateful grateful docs have the skill and technology to remake me Cant say I know where Id be or what Id be on to keep the pain I had at bay

Aint a man gonna keep me if I couldnt pleasure him do what he wanted

You know

I dont know

1951,  Thursday,  22  1. 15